If YOU were wealthy, would YOU FINANCIALLY support your children in adulthood o

1. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

   If YOU were wealthy, would YOU  FINANCIALLY support your children in adulthood or
   
   encourage THEM to make THEIR own way in life?
   
   

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2. 85

   Express10posted 10 years ago

   If I chose to have children I would not financially support my child in adulthood unless they had a long term condition that prevented them from earning an income. Children must be encouraged to make their own way in life and this takes planning and effort on the parent's part from an age where each child is mature enough to understand the concepts of accountability and responsibility. The problem is that too many parents, I use that term very loosely, do not plan and put forth the efforts for their children to understand that it is they who are responsible for supporting themselves, pursuing what makes them happy, etc.
   
   While a reasonable number of wealthy parents make personal responsibility clear to their children, there is a fairly large number that don't and when some don't get their way, problems and silly dramas ensue. Two of the best cures for this is cutting them off and no matter what the family net worth is, is taking all children to volunteer for various charities AND require them to positively interact with those less fortunate while there. Some parents feel that giving their children everything equates to the child having it better than them but this usually turns out to be little more than a destructive crutch.

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Totally agree with your response.

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3. 61

   UMHiramposted 10 years ago

   I believe as a parent (which I am) whether wealthy or not, it is our responsibility to teach our child(ren) to find his/her/their own way leading up to adulthood. It is my belief that what you instill in your child(ren) as a youth will transfer into his/her/their adulthood.
   
   From birth through high school graduation, parents are responsible for the basic needs and anything extra earned should be through chores or working age earnings. They will need guidance which will help result in making sound financial decisions.
   
   Don't get me wrong ... if tough times came around for my child, I would be there BUT I would not be a crutch or the anytime open withdrawal bank. In my opinion, children have to be taught responsibility and not given the impression that they are entitled to the wealth of their parents.

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      While I partially agree with you, if you were WEALTHY, you would help your child financially until he/she find his/her own way.Wealthy people do not make their children struggle financially, poor parents do that as they have no other recourse.

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4. 60

   Diane Woodsonposted 10 years ago

   Yes, I was not wealthy and did it and have never regretted it. Our children deserve all the help they can get in order to be educated and also helped in other ways up til they are at least 25 or so, and maybe buy their own home....There is nothing wrong with helping your kids financially rich or otherwise. May people don't do it much maybe are not able to do it, but if you can its wonderful and most often they do appreciate it more than they might ever express to you..so its yes.

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      So true, most caring parents would do what you have succinctly stated.

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5. 39

   ChristinSposted 10 years ago

   I would not because kids who have everything handed to them do not value hard work and do not respect themselves as much or realize their full potential. There is pride in working, starting a business, or otherwise being productive. If everything is just given to you, there is no incentive to push yourself to grow.
   
   That being said, I would invest in my kids education or their business if they wanted to start one, that sort of thing.  I believe just giving them money would do them a disservice.

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   1. 76

      HeatherH104posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I was going to say something similar until I read your answer, no need to repeat.
      Some important things are acceptable to offer financial help for. Definitely not everything.

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6. 86

   Billie Kelpinposted 10 years ago

   Yes, definitely!  I would qualify my answer by saying I'd encourage them "to make their own way" BY giving them money to start. I call it money "up front," and I've seen it in action in other families. I think Americans are totally all messed up when it comes to this.  If your emerging adult child doesn't have to struggle so hard and has a start, they can soar far ahead to reach their true potential.  Having money and not supporting them "up front" is so short sighted that it irritates the heck out of me.  My daughter is a talented actor (the women prefer that term), singer, and comedienne.  All her talents are now spent trying to make money doing it.  She was on one of the US tours of Mamma Mia, but since leaving that tour and coming to Hollywood, she has had to supplement her income with teaching acting and comedy and doing whatever else she can do to keep alive.  It's a total waste of talent.  There is nothing noble or exalting about her struggle. While she's in her most wonderful years, sons and daughters of other actors and people with means who have children who are marginally talented are working at their craft.  Do you think Will Smith's kids have to schlep around waiting tables?  Their path is written.  The argument that their character will suffer is unfounded. You can site this case or that case of misuse of their wealth, but all in all, getting a start in life truly helps one to reach his or her potential. I notice that my cousin whose parents lent them money for her first house; who let my cousin and her husband "buy" their old car, and on and on, had enough money to get FIRMLY established right up front.  Meanwhile, MY husband went to Vietnam to be of service in a misbegotten war, thinking it was the moral thing to do.  Having to struggle for money "up front" only makes your struggle harder.  Do I feel that I'm stronger, tougher, more resilient than my cousin? Yeah, but who cares?  She's the one with the paid-off mortgage; she's the one who has been to Europe and Japan and Hawaii; she's the one who was able to give her son a down payment for his house, so HE could have "money up front."  So yes, if I were wealthy, I would support my daughter in adulthood so she COULD make their own way to the highest potential possible because I know I raised her with integrity that she didn't get from my struggle or her struggle, but integrity that she got from ideals of working to one's fullest capability while being socially just and morally responsible.

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I totally agree with you and rated YOUR answer the BEST.Most American parents are too obsessed with the notion of NOT HELPING their children once they become adults They contend that their children should be TOTALLY INDEPENDENT, even STRUGGLING!

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      Billie Kelpinposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I feel honored that you chose my answer, especially after reading ur profile (background in Sociology, etc.) Wouldn't it be great if ONE parent read ur ques.and re-thought his/her parental view of this topic and the child affected went on to soar

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      cat on a soapboxposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I am confused by the question. I take it to mean that you either pay your children's way in adulthood OR encourage them to make it alone. The example of your cousin is a great example of a generous loan. I agree w/ help when needed as a gift or loan.

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7. 96

   cat on a soapboxposted 10 years ago

   I would not offer my child support unless it was truly needed after other options had failed. Kids need to learn to be accountable, self-motivated, creative,and patient. It takes time to earn money and do without  things while assets grow. I would help out w/ health insurance for unmarried children and even let them move home for awhile, but It would not be a free ride. I would front money  for car loans, education, new homes, business ventures etc. but would expect a payment plan w/ due date and minimal interest. It keeps kids honest and motivated while teaching fiscal responsibility. I would prefer to use my assets to set up trust funds for grandchildren, establish college saving plans, enjoy family vacations w/ my children, and leave a decent inheritance.  If I had influence to help my child advance, of course I'd use it, but then it's up to them to make a go or not. I don't believe in bailing kids out of trouble. They need to handle there own battles in order to learn confidence and problem-resolution skills,

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   1. 96

      cat on a soapboxposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I wish someone would define "wealthy."  If we are talking over 10 million- then yes, I would be willing to help more. It would depend on the individual- some kids are lazy freeloaders and  others are motivated  entrepreneurs.  Earning teaches value.

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   2. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      By wealth, I mean in the 7 figures and above.  More aptly put, a millionaire, multimillionaire, even billionaire.  I do not mean the upper middle class who are socioeconomically struggling themselves.

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   3. 96

      cat on a soapboxposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the clarification.

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8. 72

   lburmasterposted 10 years ago

   I would support them through college, though they will need a part-time job for cosmetics, hobbies, gas, and food. And it is required for them to go to college. After college, they can stay at my home for a set amount of time until they have a job that can pay for an apartment or rental home.

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9. 57

   AUPADHYAYposted 10 years ago

   Definitely yes, because parents are always caring to their children. Even in the condition of not being wealthy, they try to help their children in all, irrespective of their age group.

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      Efficient Adminposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Unfortunately I have seen parents who didn't give a hoot about their children or their future.  But hats off to those parents who do!

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10. 86

    Efficient Adminposted 10 years ago

    I would encourage them to find their unique talents and skills and make their own way in life. However, I would help them earlier on with college tuition and some expenses while they go to college, maybe help with a first car, so they wouldn't have to suffer and struggle to survive.  I would also instill in them the understanding that mom isn't always going to be an ATM, that they will have to learn to take responsibility and support themselves one day. I would also encourage them to get at least a part-time job during college.

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