How to not let people take you for granted ?

1. 54

   Ramona27posted 8 years ago

   How to not let people take you for granted ?

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2. 73

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   The only way to avoid being taken for granted is by periodically NOT doing whatever {they expected} you would do .
   Being (unpredictable) keeps people from taking you for granted.
   There's also power in saying "no".

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3. 79

   Express10posted 8 years ago

   Take it from a recovering people pleaser. Standing up for yourself, your beliefs, your goals will keep others from taking you for granted. Anytime you bite your tongue, agree with those you disagree with just to keep the peace/avoid confrontations/arguments/tension, etc. you will get taken for granted if not immediately at some later time.

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      gmwilliamsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      EXACTLY, Express10.   Teach them to do for self.  Put YOURSELF first, teach them tough love & disassociate from them if they continue their behavior.........

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4. 41

   ChristinSposted 8 years ago

   Learn about all the methods for setting healthy boundaries.  It will make you happier and allow you to stay connected with those who respect you and to move away from those who would take you for granted. 
   
   You can learn to be assertive (saying no for example or stating your opinion) without being aggressive.  Assertiveness training is a start.  Also, being more in tune with why you feel you have to please everyone.  Also, be sure that you are being what you want to see.
   
   For example, in a long marriage, it can be easy to slip into routines and take the other for granted, not because you are trying to hurt them, but because we just get set in a routine etc.
   
   I consciously remind myself to thank my husband and my family members for what they do for me and the household etc.  I do little things for them to surprise them and show them my love and respect. This is appreciated and of course,  people who feel appreciated will also want to show kindness and treat you with respect if they are good people. 
   
   There's a lot that goes into not allowing yourself to be taken for granted.  It's a two-way street usually.

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5. 65

   WordCrafter09posted 8 years ago

   There's a couple of different types of "take for granted".  There's the kind that's more about someone else's "overall attitude" and treatment of you.  Then there's the kind that's more about things like one person asking someone else for a small favor here or there.  There's also the kind of situation along the lines of, say, having an elderly parent who needs a ride to the his/her doctor's appointments (just as an example, and assume the number of appointments are reasonable/doable enough for the ride-giver.)
   
   Being "generally taken for granted" in a relationship can mean being reliable and being counted on, so as long as respect for the person who is reliable/counted on is in the mix; it shouldn't be a big deal to work out any the smaller stuff with them.
   
   With stuff/situations other than that (above), I think the first thing people should always do before living their life with a "big shield" (aka, "attitude") up and ready to "not to be taken for granted"; is ask whether they, them-self, are someone who would happily and comfortably take someone else for granted in some way.  Chances are more likely than not that the person who asks himself if he would intentionally ever want to take someone else for granted would answer that question with something like, "no - at least not if I were aware that's what I was doing, or seemed to be doing".
   
   If you give other people credit for (most likely) being a decent human being with a certain amount of understanding, and being someone who would never want to take advantage of someone else;  it usually becomes much easier to just be upfront about what you can/can't do (how often and/or how long) for someone else).  If you realize that most people are (or at least try to be) "grown-ups" (some kids can be pretty grown up) you're more likely to be comfortable about drawing lines when that's appropriate.
   
   If it seems someone else is in a long-term situation ask if you've done anything to empower them, or if you gain something from "drawing lines" on them (or not, depending on you) or not.
   
   In other words, don't be a big drama queen(king who makes a big deal out of things are aren't a big deal for most other people.  Just tell people what you can or can't/will or won't do, and give them credit for  understanding.
   
   If you're someone who WOULD take advantage of others realize that everyone is not like you. 
   
   Either way, give other people some credit  Less drama, less dilemma, when you do (usually, anyway..).

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6. 86

   gmwilliamsposted 8 years ago

   
   
   This is very easy.  Always put yourself first.  There is nothing wrong in being selfish.  Teach them to do for themselves.   Show them tough love.  Tough love is a way to teach people to respect you.  It further teaches people that you don't take any crap from them.   Make everyone stand on their OWN TWO FEET.    Don't do for others that they are able to do for themselves.   
   
   Don't always put others first.  Anyone who does that is a stone jackass, a fool who can be easily taken advantage of.  To reiterate, always put yourself first & others last (exc. for your children of course).  Establish a tough love policy for others.   Make others independent, especially socioeconomically, there are far too many socioeconomic leeches particularly in extended families.   If people refuse to adhere &/or toxic, disassociate from them entirely.

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