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How to Be a Good Conversationalist

Updated on September 18, 2011

An Art by Itself

Being a good Conversationalist is an art by itself. A good conversationalist is a good listener. A good conversationalist is not to dominate the conversation with little or no regard to the opinions of your listeners.

A Good Listener

A good conversationalist is a good listener. A good listener must hear what others say. To be a good listener, then you should observe the following:

Caustic About Their Contributions?

Have a Sincere and Genuine Smile

By being a good listener, then by extension, you become a good conversationalist. Always be friendly and do not be critical of others or caustic about their contributions and neither should you show it by your expressions. If you do, you won't have many listeners to talk to. Be positive in your approach to others. And in as much as you may want to be a good conversationalist, it will not be perfect without your sincere and genuine smile. You smile will improve your face value.

1. Do not be a mind reader as you will hear very little as you think what the other person is thinking or feeling.

2. Avoid trying to identify everything you hear to your experience. Chances are that you will not hear what is being said.

3. Try not to derail by changing the subject too quickly. This is a sure sign that you are not interested in what others have to say.

4. Do not drift off during the conversation as this may lead you into asking for a repeat or what did you say.

5. Avoid mental tryouts for what you will say next. Any mental rehearsal will just tune out the speaker.

6. When you get sidetracked assessing the speaker, you are sure to miss the message.

7. Try not to do selective listening. Selective listening is filtering out the conversation and hearing only what you want to hear.

8. Do not be a sparer. Yes, you have heard what has been said but for reasons best known to you, you quickly belittle it or discount it.

9. Do not agree with everything you hear just to be good or to avoid conflict. You won't be a good listener just by agreeing for the sake of agreeing.

10. Listen keenly and be genuinely interested in the other person. Take genuine interest in what is going on and what is being talked about.

Do Not Be Critical Of Others

That's it. By being a good listener, then by extension, you become a good conversationalist. Always be friendly and do not be critical of others or caustic about their contributions and neither should you show it by your expressions. If you do, you won't have many listeners to talk to. Be positive in your approach to others. And in as much as you may want to be a good conversationalist, it will not be perfect without your sincere and genuine smile. You smile will improve your face value.

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Comments

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    • oneprayeratatime profile image

      oneprayeratatime 8 years ago

      nice tips!

    • funwithtrains profile image

      funwithtrains 9 years ago from USA

      Good tips -- thanks for the information!

    • Dottie1 profile image

      Dottie1 9 years ago from MA, USA

      It's good to read how to improve one's listening skills no matter how much we think we know because as you said we do tend to want to identify everything we hear to our own experience and that is wrong and we do often lose the intended message when we do that.    Thanks for all the great tips.

    • Storytellersrus profile image

      Barbara 9 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      It's tough. Thanks.

    • earnestshub profile image

      earnestshub 9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Boy oh Boy! I sure could use a few these ideas, I am very rude to people sometimes.

      I get annoyed with them too.

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