Do you tell your spouse EVERYTHING?

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   milleramanda53posted 11 years ago

   Do you tell your spouse everything? Why or Why not?

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      weekendposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes. Whenever I'm ready for another divorce -- works every time!

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      Jeramiposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's a way of mine to say just what I'm thinkin ....   and to do the things I realy want to do.                 And you want to change the things I'm proud of  ..SO I can't be be myself when I'm with you. etc etc..
      
        Merl got it figured right finally. ...    Ya don't want to marry somebody that you gotta lie to in order to get to be yourself when you are with them.
      
        If you don't have anything to hide you don't hide anything.
      
           Or something like that   ??

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         Suzie Crumcakesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         It's one thing to lie. it's another to just keep your mouth shut. You know what I mean.

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      Nyamacheposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes. Trust is one most important behavior that builds a healthy relationship. Let me say that trust is the foundation of the relationship. If trust is not there then there is no relationship. Since this is the case there is a need to tell your partner the truth but not everything. Lies will do more harm to the relationship when a partner finds them out.

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      sonfollowersposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      My opinion is that a good marriage is all about intimacy, trust, and puting the other one before yourself.  If you're hiding information I think you have to ask yourself why.   I think the vast majority of us would expect our spouses to be honest with us.  We want to be with someone we can trust, depend on, etc.  They should be able to expect the same from us, and we should strive to be someone who is trustworthy. out of love and respect for them.

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      Jeff Berndtposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I don't, because if I did, it'd bore her to tears. We haven't got time to tell each other everything. Think about everything that happens over the course of your day. Now think about whether you'd want to listen to yourself tell someone about all of it. Snooze-fest, am I right?
      
      That said, I don't keep secrets from her, either. If it's something that I think she'd want to know, or is important for both of us to know, of course I tell her.

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   Cardisaposted 11 years ago

   Yes, since I don't do things that will upset him, I have no problem sharing what's on my mind. If you referring to the past then no, since the past is in the past and he made that clear. He says he knows enough and he doesn't ask questions, plus there is no skeleton in the closet I need to worry about.

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years ago

   used to...my spouse was my best friend; there were no secrets or reason to hold back

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      Suzie Crumcakesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      So what happened? You aren't friends anymore? That's why I keep my mouth shut and make sure my man has his NASCAR and plenty of beer. if Dale Jr. wins, we don't hold back one bit.

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         SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         he died

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            Cardisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            I figured as much from your previous response. It must still be painful. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing someone so close...I know what it feels like.

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   milleramanda53posted 11 years ago

   Thanks for your replies I hide nothing from my husband and he hides nothing from me whether it's good, bad, or whatever... People tells us we are an odd couple because of this but it works for us. We are blunt and from what people say Scary honest. I don't see the point of secrets or lies because they eventually are told in the end and he is the very same way. Besides it's hard to hide something from someone when they know you so well that it's almost know what you're thinking.

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      Suzie Crumcakesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Honey, if my man knew what I was thinking at the Kenny Chestney concert, he would pitch a fit.

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         milleramanda53posted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Lol... My husband is awesome he knows I'm not blind and I have no problem telling him my thoughts like that and the same with him. We have also been known from time to time to pick out a guy or gal and say "Would You?" LOL but it keeps us on our toes and we know that we are going home together and even if the answer would be yes to the question we always find a reason why we wouldn't. For example "She is very pretty but she may be a total "B". and so on and so forth.

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            Suzie Crumcakesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            Don't get me wrong. We have lots of fun. I would just feel bad if it was my fault that Kenny Chestney got shot by my guy. If he knew I was pretending that he was Kenny Chestney when I put the music on before bed, he would probably shoot himself.

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               milleramanda53posted 11 years agoin reply to this

               You would be surprised I thought the same when my husband and I first started out and once we started got it through to each other it was okay to say what we want to say and not take it personally that was all it took. You have to carry a sense of humor in everything.

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   Disturbiaposted 11 years ago

   I seriously think it all depends on your personalities.  I am very honest and up front but aside from my first (deceased) husband, who had no problem with this because he was just as honest, it hasn't seemed to work with any of the others. In fact, my honesty has probably caused most of the trouble in my relationships. I think in the future, I'll just keep my own mouth shut and not ask any questions either. I've learned, some things are just better left unsaid.

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      Cardisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree that with each relationship come different personalities so you have to tread carefully before you say certain things. When my relationship was new I once joked about marrying one of my favorite Jamaican singers and he was jealous. I had to ask him if he really though there was a chance that that famous guy would ever get to really know a country girl like me...lol. He understands me now and I often joke about marrying other people and he is fine.

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   heatherleexposted 11 years ago

   I'm not married, but I'm in a long-term relationship.
   
   I pretty much tell him everything.  He knows all about my past, but luckily for him, I don't have one that someone would feel ashamed about.  We're at the point where I couldn't hide anything from him because he would know from my face or behavior that I wasn't telling him something.  I'm terrible at keeping secrets from him anyway, even if it's something someone else told me, but that's because I trust him with everything.  He is my best friend! 
   
   I feel that it's healthy to be honest with your partner, and share a majority of your thoughts and feelings, but of course, there are some things that aren't necessary for sharing.  You have to know the balance between what to tell your partner, and what to keep to yourself.  For example, when I'm angry or upset, I won't tell him most of the things I'm thinking 0:-)

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   nina64posted 11 years ago

   I'm a firm believer in "don't ask, don't tell". I don't volunteer information to my spouse. If I feel that something is of great importance or an issue, then I will tell him. I'm pretty sure that he does not tell me everything that goes on with him. Some things are meant to be private.

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      Suzie Crumcakesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      See? That's what you call "pragmatic". Remember this though, if you go too far down the wrong road, it can be a long walk back. You may never get there.
      
      Then again, a smart lady can always catch a ride.

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         nina64posted 11 years agoin reply to this

         I agree!!!! If you don't give out too much information, that way you won't get trapped into a situation that you can't get out of.

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   Relationshipcposted 11 years ago

   Yes. I don't have anything to hide from him - even my weirdest thoughts and feelings I share. He never judges me. My mother, on the other hand, is a completely different story. I don't share anything with her.

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   The Invincibleposted 11 years ago

   You don't tell everyone about everything. Somewhere deep down in our hearts, we all have those buried secrets that are not supposed to be discussed.
   
   Though, I am not married yet, I don't share "Everything" with my Girl....

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    kittyjjposted 11 years ago

    I don't mind telling my husband if he has the time and patience to listen them all.    However, most of the time I would keep the words that might upset him, such as " I forgot to pickup the kids from school today because I was too focus on answering questions on Hubpages."

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    Paulina Obergposted 11 years ago

    Yes! I am too impulsive to not tell him everything. However, timing and how things are said are important. We have been married 22 years, so it must work.

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    rustyangelposted 11 years ago

    I tell my boyfriend (we have been together for five and a half years and are getting engaged next year) EVERYTHING. The good, the bad and the ugly. He is my best friend. I think it's the best way to be. It builds a solid foundation of trust and confidence in each other. And this way you are not keeping things from one another. I also find that it keeps you accountable in what you do. Like sometimes I'll be about to say or do something then I'll think about saying it to my boyfriend. If telling him would make me feel uncomfortable, then I won't do it. It keeps the relationship really close. Besides, I can't NOT tell him everything, like it's impossible for me. Even things that I want to surprise him with, like when I bought him an Xbox 360 for his birthday or when I made him a scrapbook, I always end up telling him lol.

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    LensMan999posted 11 years ago

    To be honest you really don’t get time to discuss everything with your spouse, day in and day out

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    Jeramiposted 11 years ago

    Just try not to do anything that Ya gotta hide....   and if Ya gotta hide too much stuff they you are in the wrong relationship.   Cain't eat your cake and keep it too.

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    Globetrekkermelposted 11 years ago

    NO. There are things that ,even if you are married or in a relationship,should be only kept to you.Not all things are shared in a relationship or marriage. Marriage or a relationship does not own you .You are entitled to have your own thoughts of privacy.I believe it works better that way.

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    peeplesposted 11 years ago

    I tell my husband the important things I know he's want to know. I don't tell him every time I get hit on, recieve weird emails from guys on the internet, or several other things that I don't think are worth telling him. I have a great relationship with my husband and I would never keep anything impotant from him. I am still my own person but I include him in anything that matters.

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