We've just started dating and he requested I confirm our relationship on Faceboo

1. 76

   stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

   We've just started dating and he requested I confirm our relationship on Facebook. What do I do?
   
   I've only been on a few dates with him and not sure I want to change my relationship status to "In a relationship with ...HIM" for all my friends to see. It seems too soon, do I decline to confirm the request? Will he feel rejected?

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2. 71

   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   Ask him why does it matter, whether or not, you confirm your relationship on a website.....is it to confirm his 'ego' or to establish the fact that you are really taken.
   
   His motivational reasoning needs to be checked, observed and monitored closely. He is already displaying signs of a 'control' freak, who could get worse as the relationship progresses forward.
   
   Do not make any commitments you are not comfortable with.

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3. 60

   JenniferRaeposted 14 years ago

   It seems to me that this person has low self esteem and trust issues. Maybe he feels if you dont confirm your status that leaves it open for other men to contact you which leads to the point of him not trusting you to make a wise decision. The way I see it is even if you change that status, how is that going to stop you from moving on to someone else.. if you go home to him everynight and you are completely 100% faithful then there is no need. Me personally I felt proud to change my status the first time..lol.. but I was never made to do so.

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4. 60

   sandwichmomposted 14 years ago

   I would not post this onto any website, I would talk to the person face to face- I think it also may depend on the seriousness of the relationship- Even guys are prone to fall head over heels- and just want to share with others

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5. 59

   Grandvisionposted 14 years ago

   Decline. He'll feel rejected and that's good. You might also ask him since when is the internet part of a relationship. If he's internet obsessed he's more than likely an idiot.

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6. 60

   topgunjagerposted 14 years ago

   the fact that he had to ask makes him insecure, you'll do that on your own when it feels right, don't let anyone make you do something you're not sure you want to do=)

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7. 61

   paige1posted 14 years ago

   well i agree with u. is to soon for you take it that serious.i think u guys have to get to know each other a lot longer, go slow an see what happens from there?.

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8. 59

   Betty Reidposted 14 years ago

   I would not confirm the request.  I would give him some explanation in person, however.  I don't post my relationship status on Facebook, because I don't think everyone needs to know my relationship status.  If you are currently posting "single", maybe you could change it to not show any relationship status.

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9. 60

   ecobardposted 14 years ago

   Does he want the relationship or just to be seen to be in it?
   
   Here is a more pressing question:> How can we allow this to occur in the 21st Century? http://hubpages.com/hub/awormintheapple

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10. 61

    dabeanerposted 14 years ago

    Stalker alert! .... Or at least a possessive jerk, which could lead to anything from jealousy to abuse.

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11. 59

    Dorothe Orrposted 14 years ago

    If it seems too soon,... it is.  You already know the answer.   
    
    Trust it, and tell him you don't know him well enough to commit.  If he takes it badly, then you have even further confirmation and can cut bait. 
    
    You're a beautiful smart girl, go with your instincts.

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12. 61

    RachelLynnposted 14 years ago

    If you're not ready to be an item with this guy on Facebook, you probably not ready to be an item with him in real life.  If you think you two will keep seeing each other, leave the invitation sit on your Facebook.  It'll stay there until you're sure that you either want to be with him or don't want to be with him.  In the meantime, mention to him that you want to be certain that you are both serious about being in a relationship, and that you have to get to know each other a bit better before jumping head-first into a relationship.  If he's the right one, he'll understand.  However, if he doesn't like that answer from you, leave him, honey.  He isn't worth your time if he isn't concerned about how you feel.

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13. 63

    Wayne Orvisburgposted 14 years ago

    Heck no. If he has a problem just tell him the facebook definition of a relationship is engagement or something lame like that. LOL

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14. 85

    Springboardposted 14 years ago

    It's probably too early to tell, and maybe I'm just a bit behind the times. But I would see that as a control personality trait. I remember my wife and I having a discussion once after we had been dating for a couple months, "So what do we call ourselves? Dating? Boyfriend, girlfriend?"
    
    In the end we realized the relationship would let US know what it was.

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15. 61

    annagaelleposted 14 years ago

    If you are not happy about it, then tell him it is too soon. He should respect your choices. If not it could mean he is immature, a control freak or he might have other motives for displaying his new relationship status, for example making an ex girlfriend jealous. There is a lot more to a deep, meaningful relationship than Facebook!

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16. 58

    debbie2410posted 14 years ago

    control springs to mind I would ditch him while the going is good

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17. 75

    fastfretaposted 14 years ago

    Sounds like commitment to me, ask yourself are you ready for that yet?  Then proceed with caution.

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18. 57

    akandugposted 14 years ago

    My answer is NO and YES. Quite ambiguous? YES, he would feel rejected but that isn't in any way a bad feeling. It would only make him realise that you are only being sincere and if there comes a time that you are so sure of whatever thing you both have and declare it on facebook, he would trust and believe you with his last breathe.

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19. 0

    reeltaulkposted 14 years ago

    Hmmmm end whatever kind of relationship you two have.  What exactly is facebook?  Is it some official site that puts its stamp of approval on people's lives.  99 percent of the people on facebook really don't play any part in your life........so Is this person serious!

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20. 60

    The Lyricistposted 14 years ago

    If you honestly don't feel like its a "relationship" yet then you shouldn't confirm it. he may be ready for that step but that doesn't mean you are...ready to be exclusive to the world. I mean when your just starting out its more of a you and him thing. Of course your closest friends probably know but who is FB to know right now at this delicate stage in the defining of the relationship. I've talked to guys and friends were referring to them as my boyfriend or consider us in a relationship asking when I'm going to post it on FB or Myspae or what have you and I'm like woa slow down...personally it doesn't feel like a relationship...there's nothing extra happening and until i feel that both of us are conscerned with one another in a more long term road of things im not declaring anything. I figure the fact that your asking says that you may be hesitating for some reason. ask yourself why that is and if you have a valid, solid point...then make your descision. making it impulsively does nothing for either of you!!

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21. 76

    the pink umbrellaposted 14 years ago

    I know this was asked a few months ago, but i have to back you up on that. A few dates, and he wants you to change your facebook status? what is he twelve? What should you do next, email all of your relatives his name so that the next wedding invitation lists you and him instead of you and guest? He's got to put in the time if he wants you to want to make that change!

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22. 62

    Nelson09posted 14 years ago

    Facebook or no facebook.. Always be sure that you want to have a serious relationship with him and only then make it Public

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23. 61

    beverleejbposted 14 years ago

    Facebook is just a place to chat, to exchange ideas etc.
    I would not devulge my private life.
    Why would you?

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24. 61

    Jay Louidorposted 13 years ago

    If your comfortable with posting your in a relationship with him and feel it's not to soon, post it. If not, simply tell him that your not ready to. As long as your okay with him taking his off as well.

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25. 58

    zzronposted 13 years ago

    
    
    If it were me, I would tell him, let's see if we're still together in six months and if we are, I'll think about it. He needs to understand, and respect your feelings. If not, you should find someone who will.

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26. 52

    trish1022posted 13 years ago

    you can just play it up saying you havent been on in a while but if you feel ashamed to have your friends see your in a relationship with... HIM why would you be going out with him? if your dating, then you are in a relationship so you should confirm it... good luck

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27. 0

    SabymMposted 13 years ago

    You are uncomfortable about it so that's a valid reason not to accept it

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28. 70

    bogerkposted 13 years ago

    Wow! I am only 28 years old and so much has changed from when I stopped dating 4 years ago when I met my wife.
    
    Facebook status is now a legitimate measure of the current state of your relationship? I am glad I got out of the dating game when I did.
    
    I would say if you like the guy at all, change it to make him happy. I don't see how it could hurt since you can just as easily change it back five seconds later if you change your mind.

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29. 59

    Liv Senstadposted 13 years ago

    I would ask him why that is so important to him. Tell him that if he cannot date you and taking the time needed to get you to know without announcing it to the whole world, you feel you have a reason to doubt his love and think he is inferior or something.
    Ask him to search within to find the answer why he would want that and tell you what he thinks- -a fantastic way to get each other to know.
    Just tell him that you are not sure if your relationship yet is so well established that you are ready to tell the whole world.

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30. 60

    nightwork4posted 13 years ago

    tell him to relax. if he's in that much of a hurry , he's insecure and he'll probably be insanely jealous. i'd run if i was you.

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31. 49

    i know i knowposted 13 years ago

    tell him u still need some time to think if he is the one u want.he should not command u to do anything and why should have ur dating status on internet

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32. 60

    JayDee Sterlingposted 13 years ago

    You need to have a face-to-face, not a Facebook.  Don't respond or change anything online until you have had a conversation. If he feels rejected that is his choice to feel that way. You are not intentionally trying to hurt his feelings.
    
    What is the importance of making a proclamation on Face? There is just way too much emphasis put on Face, text messages and IMs. You need to know what is the rush.  And how serious could he be when he didn't ask you face-to-face, he sent you an message on Face to confirm the status change. No absolutely not.

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33. 59

    juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

    Tell him to confirm it first, after he confirm it, then you confirm it.  Just because you are dating, do not mean you are not suppose to be his bitch, you know?  If it is me, it would always be "it is my way or the high way" if she choose the high way, then so be it.

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