Why do men hurt the person they love? If they love a woman why they do crazy thi

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  1. Oztinato profile image76
    Oztinatoposted 9 years ago

    Many men can't handle their egos when they finally find a woman. They become way too over confident and way too egotistical. The old animal nature then starts to want a harem of females as in the animal kingdom.
    This problem is further exacerbated by the fact that it is often the confident egotist male who gets the girl, thus sowing the seeds of the future male ego problem.

  2. goodnews11 profile image86
    goodnews11posted 9 years ago

    Lack of patience, self control and forgiveness makes them do so. He may be so possessive. If the girl is easy going, that makes him lose his control.

  3. Elizabeth Bowers profile image73
    Elizabeth Bowersposted 9 years ago

    While it's not just men that make poor decisions and hurt the people that love them, in this case (and I know this is a four-year-old post), it has nothing to do with love.  I know from experience how heartbreaking it can be to have relationships torn apart by a selfish, lustful choice on a man's part.  All I can say is that I'm sorry and I hope that you have found someone worth your love and affection.

  4. Kathleen Odenthal profile image88
    Kathleen Odenthalposted 9 years ago

    It isnt a guy thing. Women are just as guilty. Commitment can be scary, so can the possibility of being vulnerable and opening yourself up to another.

  5. profile image52
    Debbiedoodlebugposted 9 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/9052353_f260.jpg

    Men hurt the one that they love because they take them for granted. They seem to hurt and walk on woman that are humble, or easy going.
    Maybe they are not truely commited, and they are guilty of cheating.So they get you upset so you will fight and argue to make themselves feel better.
    Besides if it is true love he would not go to someone else. When he seen trouble coming, he would of pulled back and be faithful.Men have triggers in their brain that charge the dopa mines that get them excited, if love is real he should be home with you triggering them.

  6. profile image52
    AyeshaWaqasposted 9 years ago

    It is because the way two people are living together is a usual routine for both the partners..when someone feel change in life as he or she is getting bored then they start a new affair or relationship..but its not for all couples..sometimes people doesn't want any change..but accidentally they happen to meet a change in their life..so they try different experience and meanwhile they start ignoring their partner and make them hurt..so to avoid it..one should keep practicing new experiences in life..hope you are satisfied

  7. Sarah Dill profile image69
    Sarah Dillposted 9 years ago

    The same can go for woman as well. Were all human and make mistakes. In todays world people are more concerned about their ego, pride and what people think, rather than how they feel as a person. Putting other people's criticism in front of their own happiness, usually causes a relationship to go sour.

  8. Rodricklewis profile image39
    Rodricklewisposted 9 years ago

    Why is it that women instead of drawing out facts on paper just listen to what some one tells them? Why is it that the trust in men has taken a large downplay in these past years? How can you call some one's love into question when love is a very undefined word?

  9. addingsense profile image60
    addingsenseposted 9 years ago

    May be he love that girl and cannot avoid you or vice versa. Anyways i think you should help him to make a choice.

  10. Linda Burks profile image58
    Linda Burksposted 9 years ago

    All I can say in regards to both ladder questions is, I've been in a relationship for 27 years to the same man.
    Still working on it!!!!
    Some men can be very selfish.
    Limitations must apply

  11. Shil1978 profile image85
    Shil1978posted 9 years ago

    I don't think this is specific to men alone, it can equally apply to a woman. Why people do "crazy things" can be attributed to the unique workings of the minds of the people concerned. They may have misplaced priorities, may not be able to appreciate the positive things they have in their lives. Specifically, coming to relationships, lust cannot be explained with logic. Some people just give in to lust more easily than others. I guess they just don't have enough self-control or the moral abilities to stay committed. That's about it. Nothing to do with men specifically. I've seen enough women hurt the men in their lives too!

    1. Linda Burks profile image58
      Linda Burksposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I concur
      self - control is key,
      where hearts are involved.
      'Love Strive To Protect"
      Lust if cultivated can transform into a malicious act .
        Cheating has become a sport to many
      A selfish heart cheats causing, 
      "The I can't breathe Effect" +

  12. profile image53
    kingchahalposted 9 years ago

    Love means NO expectations. No expectations means nothing will hurt.  But if the partner feels hurt there is need for deep thinking as it might not be intentional. Sometimes we do something without thinking how our partner will react/feel about it, thus let the partner know that his/her ways are hurting you and it can be ended with a big smile. Now if partner is hurting intentionally then there is no need to look for reason, it is very clear that he/she is not sentimentally involved with you thus just let the relation go and walk away peacefully and proceed in life. The life has many beautiful things to offer why bother ourselves with any one topic.

  13. Chris Dela Cruz profile image59
    Chris Dela Cruzposted 9 years ago

    I think that goes for men AND women. I think the problem with our society today and how we all think of relationships we automatically assume the other party is purposely hurting the person they love. I think that in your case sometimes men want both as selfish as it sounds. I have had the opportunity to have this conversation with numerous friends before and I think when it comes down to it, I think the questions everyone must ask themselves why are they in the relationship with that person? I think that there is a difference between someone who truly cares about someone and likes them, someone who likes the idea of having someone, and someone who wants temporary fulfillment. Unfortunately one cannot have all of the above together, but must decide what they want. Also one must figure out and have clear communication with their partner and make sure that there are no secrets. If one is not happy then they should communicate with their partner and not hurt them.

  14. dillon102 profile image61
    dillon102posted 9 years ago

    I think it has to do with insecurities and lack of confidence!

    They tend to hurt and push away the ones they love because they might not feel they are worthy of that love or they are not good enough. So, they go looking for a way to wreck the relationship!

    I did this in other ways, I never cheated but I pushed them away to a point that the relationship was wrecked!

    1. Linda Burks profile image58
      Linda Burksposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Meaningful to me and appreciated
      This is the comment  'I WAS SEEKING
      Truth
      Excellent

  15. alwayserendipity profile image60
    alwayserendipityposted 9 years ago

    As the saying goes.."quality over quantity"..
      When two people fall in love, it's like starting a new chapter.  The more the two share their lives together, they continue to learn.  There always needs to be a balance, never wanting to plateau but instead keep climbing.  Relationships aren't easy, in fact can be challenging.  Just like work.  If we were to reflect back to how things started, we will notice people and life change.  It's all about changing together and accepting whatever changes there are. Especially in the person we are with.   It's about growing together rather than apart…which brings it down to communication.  As like an employer giving a quarterly review, a relationship also needs that reassurance.  I feel most of us forget and by this time the relationship is too far apart to fix.  Growing apart does happen in many ways and sometimes there will be moments we don't even realize it's happening.  Our vision has been clouded.  Until it's too late…it's no longer "love", more like a repetitive motion.
      Men (& I'm sure women too) come to a time in their life they feel the need to explore.  And it's not always about looking to be with someone else.  I honestly feel like in most cases it ends up being that way because it starts off having common interests.  Then the more they share, eventually the most common interest will be each other.  Then when this happens the focus on who "should be" the most important in your life is lost.  When they realize what they've done, they know there's no going back so it's either letting the person know or not.  By this point they probably are feeling bad & honestly not meaning to hurt anyone OR they don't care.
      To feel like the relationship you were in was doing okay just shows how much he failed to be by your side (which real friends do) for some reassurance.  It just sounded like he gave up and didn't really think of how you would be affected.  It seems like he was just thinking of himself without considering your thoughts on anything. Finally, it sounds like with him "just admitting" this affair, before he did he wanted to first make sure that there was something between him and this "other woman"…These issues really touch me and I empathize with you on all that you have gone through…it sounds to me he was plain selfish.  He may not have seemed like it when the 2 of you met, but he obviously changed.

    1. Linda Burks profile image58
      Linda Burksposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent
      Thanks for sharing

  16. Laudemhir Jan profile image69
    Laudemhir Janposted 9 years ago

    You must understand that not all men are the same with the one you mention! Maybe there's something lacking in your relationship that he had to find way to pleasure himself. Or maybe some problems where he just want to escape. Either way, what he did was bad but not only men do this, some women too!

  17. Mourad Kamal profile image61
    Mourad Kamalposted 9 years ago

    Just want to add that it isn't just men.

  18. Penny G profile image60
    Penny Gposted 9 years ago

    For some these are learned behaviors. The did not have good examples growing up and some relationship counseling could shed some light on this .

  19. profile image53
    George Timothyposted 9 years ago

    For the same reason that we all hurt each other. It's part and parcel of the human condition. It seems that we always hurt those we love the most. So it seems simply because we do love them so much that our empathy and understanding kicks in and we feel their pain in the same way that we feel our own when we are hurt. We're all human and as such, we make mistakes. It's our common inheritance and part of the price we pay for being human beings.

  20. Gabryela profile image58
    Gabryelaposted 9 years ago

    First off, i would like to let you know that a man looking fir somebody else has gotten over whatever lobe or feeling or attraction he has had for you the moment he chose to be with someone else over you. Now do not think you have done something wrong or that you are not worthy of being loved. Some men just don't grow up. And being in a relationship doesnt help them to grow up either. Be strong and get over the thought of being with someone who does not know your worth. You deserve so much more and betrayal is not one of them.

  21. Avaloi Gardner profile image57
    Avaloi Gardnerposted 8 years ago

    A man who's having a affair means that your not all he need he wants more. A man who wants more gonna keep looking meaning that other woman might not be the only one he's messing about with behind your back. I know that u been with this one man for a long time but you need to ask your self if you can live with knowing the man you love his not only about you but have feelings for other woman too.

  22. profile image53
    AWSteegposted 8 years ago

    Because we love them, you hurt the ones you love.

  23. profile image48
    intelstyleposted 8 years ago

    It has  nothing to do love but  selfishness and self importance.   Do not waste  your  life to figure out  what is  wrong.   Just let it go. Go with your future life.

  24. profile image0
    SonOfSkyrim201posted 8 years ago

    It has nothing to do with being a man. We are imperfect beings and so we sin. One of the qualities you should look for in someone to avoid this problem is loyalty.

  25. profile image34
    Moniipoohposted 7 years ago

    They don't realize what they have. They want something quick and easy on the side while still having you.

  26. creativewriter123 profile image59
    creativewriter123posted 4 years ago

    Maybe because they have a twisted sense of love and care. Or maybe because they think they can get away with anything.

  27. edhan profile image37
    edhanposted 4 years ago

    I guess only when the man feels his love is not being accepted fully. Or the woman he loves had done him wrongly, Otherwise, I do not see any practical reason for doing it.

  28. abbykorinnelee profile image53
    abbykorinneleeposted 4 years ago

    Why do women do the same thing? I can only speak for why I do it and why those like me do it. I have borderline personality disorder and I am high functioning. However; I have severe abandonment issues and can not regulate emotions. Relationships, as much as I desire to be in a long term one, seriously scare me.  I am a perfect girlfriend until I develop any level of emotional attachment.  Once that happens I start to self-sabotage unconsciously and even if I catch I am doing it, I can’t stop.  “Self sabotaging to fulfill a self fulfilling prophecy””.”

  29. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

    abbykorinnelee,

    "She didn't know, who would leave or stay. So she pushed them all away."

    Does that sound familiar?

    Well there is something to be said for (knowing who you are).
    Generally speaking people don't change unless (they) are unhappy.
    Staying in one's "comfort zone" is a choice especially if they're aware of how they are. When we change, our circumstances change.
    "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" - Susan Jeffers
    That takes courage.

    Having said that there are a lot of guys who would be happy to have a "perfect girlfriend". Casual relationships are often underestimated.
    There is an assumption everyone needs the "fairytale" to be happy.
    Truth be told most marriages consist of "cellmates" not "soulmates".

    By the time they realize they really {don't have what they want} they've already had children, invested several years, and the thought of "starting over" seems too daunting of a task versus "going along" to "get along".
    There are two types of divorces. The (legal) and (emotionally) divorced.

    The "secret" to having a long lasting marriage is {staying together}.
    The "secret" to having a "happy marriage" is a mystery for most people.

 
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