Can love be truly ' unconditional'?

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  1. Docmo profile image91
    Docmoposted 13 years ago

    Can love be truly ' unconditional'?

    Literature is strewn with 'unconditional' love- can this really be, can we just love without reciprocity and understanding, without a return  for our passion and persistence?

  2. nightwork4 profile image62
    nightwork4posted 13 years ago

    i don't think so. love requires commitment, honesty and trust which are conditions.

  3. tbartle profile image60
    tbartleposted 13 years ago

    I think the only truly unconditional love is between parent and child. And then, only some parent-child relationships achieve this.

    But romantic love? Definitely conditional.

  4. dianne143 profile image40
    dianne143posted 13 years ago

    Unconditional would be the best love you can ever give and let your love ones feel

  5. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 13 years ago

    Yes even though The Adjustment Bureau was a movie it says so much.  We do alot of things unconditionally so why can't we love unconditionally.  You have to know what it is to be sincere as well as honest before you can love much less love unconditionally

    btw I so disagree with tbartle how can you love your child unconditionally but not love another the same way.  Especially if the other person is also the parent of that child.  Not all parents, couples or people that have a baby love each other but I can't see how you can step over loving that person and claim to love a child

  6. fucsia profile image59
    fucsiaposted 13 years ago

    Good question. I think that love is unconditional in the sense that it not pretend something in return. But I think however that something must be receiving to keep it alive and to permit it to evolve. This "something" is not necessarily the same kind of love that is given.

  7. DIYweddingplanner profile image75
    DIYweddingplannerposted 13 years ago

    Ask my dog who still loves me without make-up, if I've gained five pounds, even if I haven't brushed my teeth! smile

  8. maria.rose profile image41
    maria.roseposted 13 years ago

    love is not unconditional  there is lot of condition in love ,only child  parents love is  unconditional........

  9. Menfis profile image57
    Menfisposted 13 years ago

    I think the most big love also needs one feed back, sometime we wait this pay be from the loved person, some time from the life; indeed  just the feeling of love produces a feeling of pleasure in the person who experiences this feeling. Also sometimes we receive the pay from the hope that God will pay some day.

  10. profile image0
    writeronlineposted 13 years ago

    What a cynical lot you are....(smile)

    Seriously tho' I think love that is NOT unconditional is NOT love at all.

    The problem is that we debase the word love, by using it to describe all kinds of relationships that are in fact, conditional.

    Actually, I think 'transactional' would be the better description, because it conveys the element of 'give and get', without which many relationships would crumble and fail. ie: "You fulfil my needs, and I'll fulfil yours."

    Unfortunately, the cold-hearted, the cynics, the rationalists and the envious among us have allowed the open expression of truly unconditional love - that which is given and received irrespective of the ever-changing circumstances and balance of a relationship, as in for example, a long-term marriage - to be dismissed and denigrated as 'co-dependence'.

    Fortunately, there's an equally dismissive catch-all term for those who hide behind that term, when in reality they lack the courage to find out whether they could themselves sustain a relationship based on unconditional love - the 'commitment-phobe.'

    But it's all been said before anyway...

    "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved"

  11. mcdimar profile image60
    mcdimarposted 13 years ago

    Love can be 'unconditional' only when the condition of love is achieved. Even God said "if you love me, keep my commandments". Truly God is love and He love us (unconditional love) depise our weaknesses. But if we refuse to keep His commandment, He will reject us on the last day (conditional love). There is the condition (covenant) of love that must be obeyed to make it "unconditional".

  12. profile image0
    leann2800posted 13 years ago

    Love is unconditional. It is always that way. You cannot choose who you love. You cannot stop loving them just because you want to. It is what you choose to do and for those you love that is conditional. Loving someone no matter what is not the same as doing anything for someone even to the point that it is dysfunctional.

  13. Monisajda profile image60
    Monisajdaposted 13 years ago

    Love for your child is unconditional, I love my kids regardless of anything.

  14. EnjoyYourLife profile image61
    EnjoyYourLifeposted 13 years ago

    Love could be unconditional, but that doesn't mean you are going to like what happens in a relationship all the time. Drawing boundaries in relationships shouldn't be confused with unconditional love. Example, love the "sinner", but not the "sin", if  you will.

  15. Pink Drummer profile image60
    Pink Drummerposted 13 years ago

    Nobody knows the answer to that question ... except "the one"

  16. lorijoy profile image61
    lorijoyposted 13 years ago

    Ya know,  I thought so, but I am not so sure anymore. I think that if you love somebody unconditionaly you lose something within yourself. Sometimes you might not like how the other person handles a situation or behaves. If you love this person unconditionaly you accept everything that they do. That would be great if the people are young and have never been in love or have been married.

    Loving uncondionaly you lose that part of yourself that makes you "you" the deep down morals that you live by. It becomes a question of co-dependancy and that is not a good way to live. You can love somebody with all your heart, but if there is something that you don't like about the other person it will not work.

    I agree with DIYweddingplanner.. my dogs love me.. unconditionaly ... no matter what I say or do...

  17. scoobydeb profile image65
    scoobydebposted 13 years ago

    I can only speak for myself, but the only unconditional love I have is the love for my children.

    Everyone else in my life has conditional love. I certainly do not agree with writeronline that the love I feel for my husband (very deeply, I might add) is not real love because it's conditioned on things like he not abuse me or cheat on me or anything else that would be detrimental to myself and/or our marriage.

    My children, otoh, I will love them until the day that I die no matter what they might do. They are part of me. I might choose to not have a relationship with them if that relationship was toxic, but I would always love them and hope that one day, the relationship could be repaired.

  18. profile image0
    jasper420posted 13 years ago

    i do not beleave humans are capable of unconditional love however animails and god are yes

  19. Gyldenboy profile image64
    Gyldenboyposted 13 years ago

    I'm a realist. I believe, it's solely platonic. That it likely exists only with a parent and child. But, could exist for pet owners. Or, religion for some in regards to a higher power.

    Romantic love, definitely conditional. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's not cynicism to believe that either. It's fact. I believe some relationships can endure a lifetime and beyond. But, that's still not unconditional love. The two people in such a relationship can do that, because they maintain it and feel true love.

    Regardless, if you love someone or something - it shouldn't matter whether it's conditional or not.

  20. profile image0
    Digsposted 13 years ago

    Yes, in Christ.  That is allowing Christ to accomplish through us and in us, what we can never accomplish on our own.  This kind of love is unconditional.  Human love can be sacrificial even to the point of giving ones life for another.  Biblically, a husband should be willing to sacrifice his life for his wife.  I think literature speaks much of sacrificial love, sometimes confused with unconditional love.  Christ's love (Agape') demands nothing in return.  Read I Corinthians 13: 4-7.


  21. Amy Becherer profile image67
    Amy Bechererposted 13 years ago

    Other than love for one's child or pet, I believe, idealistically, each of us wants to believe their love for another is unconditional, rendering them unselfish, undemanding and thereby, deserving of the love they desire.  But, the nature of love is unpredictable and can defy logic.  Until only recently, as a disillusioned adult, I believed love was fully within my control.  If I was disappointed by the way I was treated or spoken to by someone who professed to love me, it was not unfathomable for me to walk away.  I have. I wasn't truly vested in that relationship.  I was present, but not in love so I was cavalier regarding reciprocity and passion. I didn't care. I wasn't sure love was real at all much less unconditional.  But, things have changed now.  I truly love another.  And, although, it is long distance, I feel a deep connection through conversations that share at a depth I would have denied could exist.  So, I love this man and I will always love this man.  One of his attributes , is his ability to love at a deep, lasting level.  This quality in him makes me able to give him my heart in entirety, because fear is gone and I feel free to be who I am without the threat of abandonment impinging on the "lungs" of to expand, grow, take in and breathe out until I can communicate with him again.  Maybe for each of us, the conditions are different.  Trust, no matter what the personal needs of each individual, would seem imperative.

    I do not believe life happens randomly.  I feel incredibly fortunate to have met the man I love.  If I never spoke to him again, I would miss him until the day I die.  I have no promise of tomorrow, nor do any of us.  This I can say with certainty, "I will always love him."

  22. shubhansh jain profile image60
    shubhansh jainposted 13 years ago

    Yes can be unconditional. When you love and care for someone thinking you will get the same in return its not love but a mere trade but when it is from your side without hoping for anything from the other side its the true love for someone.............

  23. OrphanWorldGuy profile image61
    OrphanWorldGuyposted 13 years ago

    While an unpopular concept to some, the Bible speaks of love that is unconditional using a term in Greek, "agape". It is unconditional and sacrificial.

    Have you ever heard of anyone giving his or her life for another? No greater expression of unconditional love can be found than one person laying down his life for another.

  24. Soldadodedios profile image61
    Soldadodediosposted 13 years ago

    the ability of love to be truly unconditional is based upon one's willingness to become vulnerable. As human beings we all like to feel appreciated, doted upon, complimented etcetera. Additionally we believe that if good is given then we have the right to receive good. However, not everyone would reply if we say "good morning" or "Hi". Additionally not everyone would treat us with kindness even though we may decide to do so. Given that is the case, does it mean that if you are a loving person that you must change to accomodate the lack of love returned NO! One must be living to love inspite of, and that requires one to accept the fact that one is willing to be vulnerable. To not be afraid of not being told "thank you" or complimented or appreciated. Love is about the sacrifice and to truly love what one must ultimately sacrifice is one's desire to protect one's feeling and become vulnerable. When we release the urge to love only when it shall be returned, when accept vulnerability then we are embarking on a journey of unconditional love.

  25. ShoppingWithSusan profile image61
    ShoppingWithSusanposted 13 years ago

    The only love that's unconditional comes from above.

  26. kevindonaldson profile image40
    kevindonaldsonposted 13 years ago

    Absolutely Yes, unconditional love is a choice and in the eye of the beholder! I think we can selectively choose who to love unconditionally.

  27. anildutt profile image60
    anilduttposted 13 years ago

    Many people believe and expect to give and receive unconditional love from their dating or relationship partner. They think that “real” love is without buts and ifs. However, this is hardly ever true. There is a reason why we fall in love and we continue to love someone. We don’t always know or can explain why we find someone attractive or desirable, but this doesn’t mean that there isn’t a specific factor or several factors that draw us to that other person

  28. profile image54
    Dharmathejaposted 13 years ago

    Love is unconditional.if conditions do exist we can call it a contract just like a marriage

  29. Wayne Brown profile image81
    Wayne Brownposted 13 years ago

    That is really a function of how you pose it.  If I say that my love for someone is "unconditional", that means that I am not putting any stipulations or requirements on me extending my love.  On the other hand, it does not mean that the person that I "love" can do whatever the hell they please and expect me to continue to care for them...that is not the perspective from which "unconditional" is offered although it seems to be the interpretation of many who seek to be in love.  Let's get it right. WB

  30. MobiSL profile image58
    MobiSLposted 13 years ago

    it depends on what kind of love you talking about. in romantic love, people expect to be loved. but it doesn't mean they are no such thing called unconditional love. parents love us, even if we don't care about them.
    you can train your mind to unconditionally love every live beings, even the ones who hate you. it's hard yet possible. but that wouldn't be romantic love which is conditional.
    on the other hand, if two people romantically love each other, those conditions naturally meets.

  31. biman_r profile image69
    biman_rposted 13 years ago

    Some might say yes and some might say no. Actually it all depends on the person who is in love. We start loving someone for a reason but soon if that love is real than even when that condition disappears the love remains.

  32. byronlee profile image61
    byronleeposted 13 years ago

    There is not such thing.  Only death is unconditional!

  33. Hyphenbird profile image81
    Hyphenbirdposted 13 years ago

    Yes, it can. God's Word teaches us how to do this in His agape love. Our earthly examples are young children and animals. They just love because they can, without wanting a return.

  34. profile image0
    Fay Paxtonposted 13 years ago

    This one is easy, Docmo.  If it isn't isn't love.  I think we have placed all kinds of conditions and requirements on the one emotion that needs none.  People have redefined love to fit into some kind of social construct.  It simply is.

  35. ChristineVianello profile image61
    ChristineVianelloposted 13 years ago

    I read DIYweddingplanners response which made me think that animals, I believe really do have this unconditional love for us. As a side job, I am a pet sitter and have sitted dogs that have been abused as puppies and they are the most loving dogs in the world. With all the hurt that they have been through in their lives, they still love us.

  36. ganyobii profile image60
    ganyobiiposted 13 years ago

    yes of course God have always shown this kind of love towards us  though we were sinners Christ died for our sins. For God so love the world that He gave his only Son to die for us. only few men have been able to show unconditional love to others and loved ones.

  37. Mian Bilal profile image60
    Mian Bilalposted 13 years ago

    There is nothing unconditional in this world.If we think why we are here,We get the answer for something or to be given a reward for our doings. That matters wether we will be rewarded for good or bad.

  38. yesmaam1508 profile image60
    yesmaam1508posted 12 years ago

    The sentimental fool in me says yes.  I have loved others without expectation of their love, friendship, or anything else.

  39. gmmurgirl profile image84
    gmmurgirlposted 12 years ago

    I do! Definitely, human beings are really capable of unconditional love. If you meet that one person worthy of it, then you will know.


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