Is it lying to simply not say what you're feeling?

Jump to Last Post 1-25 of 25 discussions (25 posts)
  1. rachellrobinson profile image80
    rachellrobinsonposted 12 years ago

    Is it lying to simply not say what you're feeling?

    If asked a direct question and one answers falsely that is a lie, however is it still a lie if you don't speak up?

  2. dosborne08 profile image67
    dosborne08posted 12 years ago

    Absolutely not. At the end of the day, you have the right to just not say anything.

    While it is your right, the person asking the question may not feel to good about it and it may cause a rift in that relationship.

    So it is something to think about which choice best for that relationship and that situation.

  3. sammyfiction profile image61
    sammyfictionposted 12 years ago

    No , it would not be lying, it's more or less a freedom of speech,

  4. Quirinus profile image60
    Quirinusposted 12 years ago

    Our gut feelings usually guide us towards acts of compassion: no, it should not be considered as lying. 

    When we sense that we may hurt or inconvenience someone by admitting to our feeling, our intention should be our best guide.  As an example, we meet someone who seems to have so many burdens of her/his own and she/he asks if everything is alright with us, it may be appropriate to say a noncomittal yes, to avoid adding further burdens to him or her.

    If our basis of our conduct in life is putting easy-to-use labels on actions, in effect stereotyping them, it may be considered lying because you did not admit what you were feeling.

    But if our basis of our conduct is our highest truth, which we could choose to be love, then by not admitting your feeling, you may then be considered compassionate instead of being labelled as lying.

  5. onegoodwoman profile image68
    onegoodwomanposted 12 years ago

    It could be a ly of omission............if you 'go along to get along', you will at some point , pay for that silence.

    By not speaking up, when the opportunity was there, you could be giving your silent approval.

    Sometimes this matters little, ( what to serve at the company picnic), at others it matters a great deal.........(should we disconnect Dad's breathing machine).....

    The term, "speak now, or forever hold your peace", is a great barometer, can you hold it inward?

    It is a terrible thing to reflect and realize that you should have spoken up.

  6. nancyme profile image59
    nancymeposted 12 years ago

    I think it's a neutral stance. Maybe it's like if i speak i shall have to lie but if i don't am safe. smile

  7. graceomalley profile image84
    graceomalleyposted 12 years ago

    I think of knowing how to answer a question without falling into either a direct lie or a falsehood  as "discretion." When I looked up decresion I thought the 2 definitions fit this well:

    1. The quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information.
    2. The freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation.

    There's a proverb that goes something to the effect: "A wise man considers his words, but a fool only desires to reveal his own mind."

  8. ddsurfsca profile image72
    ddsurfscaposted 12 years ago

    It is not lying, but itt is deception.  Lying is telling an untruth, but not saying anything is living that lie without words.

  9. Barry Silver profile image60
    Barry Silverposted 12 years ago

    No, it's not a lie but it's probably not very helpful either.

  10. Kaniel Loughran profile image59
    Kaniel Loughranposted 12 years ago

    If you were to say nothing at all, then no, it could not logistically constitute a lie. However, should you give 90% of the story and leave out a critical point that may put you in an uneasy position, then you have committed a lie of omission.

  11. Aair Aaqil profile image40
    Aair Aaqilposted 12 years ago

    If you are directly asked how you feel and you answer with not the truth or an implicit omission of the truth then you are lying. Lying through omission is still lying as you are speaking (or not speaking) with the intent of misdirection and deception, the same as lying.

  12. profile image52
    footprintzposted 12 years ago

    No.  People can become uncomfortable when you are honest, but if you are not the issue can potentially boil.

  13. tsmog profile image82
    tsmogposted 12 years ago

    I'm sorry I can't say anything on this matter , , ,just kidding, A feeling is subjective. It is yours. If it were lying there wouldn't be similar safeguards like the fifth amendment, if I understand correctly.

  14. Scribbling profile image60
    Scribblingposted 12 years ago

    I dont hink it is lying. Discretion, prudence, wisdom are all words that come to mind when I think about concealing  or keeping some information about myself to myself. Sometimes our feelings are not worth telling anyone about, you know self pitty, self doubt (sometimes). So like anything else, i think it is subjective but overall could quite possibly not be a lie.

    just scribbling...

  15. your cybersister profile image59
    your cybersisterposted 12 years ago

    I don't consider it a lie when you don't volunteer information.  As you said, if you are directly asked and you don't answer honestly you are guilty of lying, but what if being completely honest only serves to hurt someone?  If a friend asks if you like their new haircut or new outfit and you don't, is it important that you be brutally honest or is it okay to soften the blow?   Aren't there times that "white lies" would be acceptable?  I do think that leaving things out of an explanation, especially when it is advantageous to you to do so.  That is lying by omission.

  16. edhan profile image39
    edhanposted 12 years ago

    I guess sometimes a white lie will help to avoid bad situations. Some people lies not to hurt the other parties. But of course there are lies which are truly bad.

    Depending on different situations, one will react with answers that will only be suitable at that instant.

  17. ii3rittles profile image80
    ii3rittlesposted 12 years ago

    Not saying how you feel is being dishonest. Being dishonest and lying are one in the same. One you speak with words, and the other you speak in silence.

    I've learned that in my relationship. When my fiance asks me whats wrong, its better to just tell him then avoid it. Avoiding our own feelings and misunderstandings lead to fights.

  18. profile image0
    jasper420posted 12 years ago

    depends on the situation and on your moral values some say yes and some say no i say if you want to keep something to yourself thats your bussiness

  19. Sleepincot profile image44
    Sleepincotposted 12 years ago

    No, you are not lying. It is sometimes wise to keep your thoughts to yourself, such as if your thoughts would anger someone.

  20. profile image0
    Curiadposted 12 years ago

    While it is not "Technically" a lie, it can cause serious problems in a relationship. There are so many different situations this might apply to that there is no one "Right" answer.

    I find that it is best to share the truth of my feelings whenever possible. By this I mean that if it will make a difference to someone I will share it. If I am in a obvious situation where sharing my feelings will not help the situation at all then I keep it to myself.

    This is of course subjective.

  21. Loveslove profile image60
    Lovesloveposted 12 years ago

    sometimes its best not to ask a question if you dont want a truthful answer may ask a question and not like the answer that is given ,and be upset by it,so unless you want to hear the truth dont ask !!

    I have a friend who will always give a truthful answer to any question..I have learnt over time that if I am not confident about the answer I will get then I dont ask the question !!

    To twist the truth is a lie .

  22. melaine profile image73
    melaineposted 12 years ago

    No. It's not a lie. You are entitled to keeping your feelings to yourself.

  23. Dave Mathews profile image60
    Dave Mathewsposted 12 years ago

    It is definitely a "LIE" To omit the truth, or avoid speaking the truth is still LYING.

  24. dustbunnie profile image61
    dustbunnieposted 12 years ago

    Ok, To deny friends or loved ones in your life the knowledge of knowing your true feelings on things, in a sense is denying them a sense of the true you. But what you have to ask yourself is would you want someone to "simply not tell you what they are feeling" It isnt really lieing to not say what your feeling but its not being honest either. It borders on avoidance if you will.Perhaps are you maybe scared they may not except your feelings on things? Dont hold back, but remember to be tactful yet sensitive when voicing your feelings.

  25. Mercia Collins profile image69
    Mercia Collinsposted 11 years ago

    even in a relationship, one has a right to privacy. What you feel at one minute about something may not be the same feeling that you have, when you have had time to think the matter through properly. First reactions to something may change rapidly


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)