Why do people share their secrets?
I just read an article about the importance of keeping secrets that have been divulged to us by their owners. It made wonder why people feel the need to share their secrets. Why would you share your secrets and what makes them secret?
There are things that are not shared. They run too deep. They share their secrets with their friends because there is no fear of rejection by the person they share it with. If it is about pain, then sharing it with someone alleviates it. It is the meaning of public joys, private sorrows.
Some secrets are meant to share and pass down in generations otherwise it will be lost forever.
Just like the secrets kept by the famous Feng Shui master and had not been taught to his disciples, now it is lost forever. It is also like skills being kept secret and that skill is again lost forever.
I do believe that it should be shared for such secrets so that future generations will benefit from them.
For me, if I consider it "a secret" I won't be sharing it with anyone, at all, ever (or at least until I decide I don't want it to be a secret any longer. There are "confidences", which are things we want kept within a small circle of close family members or friends Those are different from secrets.. I'll share a confidence with someone - but never a secret. Even with confidences, though, I'm very careful about what I'll share with whom; so I draw a line on any confidence I share too.
There are a lot of different things that make something "a secret" for me. Most of them have to do, I guess, with the idea that everyone has a right to privacy on some matters; but also with whether or not other people (as the famous move-line goes) "can handle the truth". Knowing how to "handle the truth" involves someone else's not being a blabbermouth, a know-it-all (who would presume to have the right to share a secret for reasons he deems important), a worrier, a person who doesn't have the reasoning ability to recognize the difference between what he's been told and "all the other stuff" he's imagined beyond that, or someone who gets something out of the secret-holder's/sharer's secret.
Sometimes we may keep things a secret only because we know someone else "doesn't know how to handle the truth". Whatever the information is, we might otherwise not see it as "secret" at all if it weren't for the fact that we know that sharing it with someone will cause one problem or another (for us or for someone else, but seldom for the person we share the information with first).
Again, though, what makes a secret a secret is the fact that we won't share it. To me, once it's shared it becomes either a confidence or else "public information" in general.
People do things for all kinds of reasons, whether they are "sharing" so that you can share (just being nosy). Maybe they trust the person with whom they are sharing, there is nothing wrong with extending yourself in ways with one that you wouldn't with anyone. Some people actually trust the wrong person and may share to their own demise. Secrets as far as I am concerned should and usually are kept "a secret". Anyone "sharing" too much becomes suspect, either an ulterior motive is involved or they may just need the person to store whatever files, who knows!
I don't like sharing secrets because at some point, i think it could be used against me (even if it's to a loved one). Well, maybe a tiny secret. lol
However, I love sharing secrets of surprise parties or events. Everyone knows except the person who will have the big surprise and that's quite exciting.
Example a friend could share a secret, that he will be proposing marriage to your friend and ask you to keep it a secret. I love those kind of secrets.
then why call it a secret in the first place? maybe, it could better be called a controversy, a mystery, a gossip..... Call it anything, but any shared information cannot ever be a secret.
I would say maybe it's because they just can't keep that kind of information to themselves. They can't get these secrets out of their heads and they don't want these secrets to be secrets anymore. They share these secrets with people they think they can trust, but sometimes because like Lisa HW say's in the answer below they don't want it to be a secret anymore.
I think people view secrets to hold power of one kind or another, so they just can't help but tell them to others. I can understand that if people have their own secrets, but not so much if others entrust us their something.
Two reasons for me sharing my secrets with someone I trust:
1) some secrets become too overwhelming trying to hold on to them, and actually cause more harm than good by remaining secret.
2) some secrets that I thought were earth-shattering and devasting initially, over the process of time really were not and actually brought a sense of peace and relief once they were revealed.
I do not divulge what others share with me in secrecy and hope that no one would divulge what I share with them in confidentiality.
When it comes to sharing secrets there are a number of reasons that make people want to share their secrets or other people’s secrets. This can be due to a number of reasons, some people not being trustworthy since it’s just in their nature to... read more
Donnaisabella! LOL My hubby and I were just discussing this very topic the other day!
I, personally, don't 'believe' in secrets. If you feel the need to do or say something, have the balls/lady-balls to do or say it in front of the person you are doing or saying it to. LOL Does that make sense? Secrets are little more than lies to me.
However, on the other hand...if someone were to share a 'secret' with me, it would be my duty out of respect alone (mind you, it has to be someone I actually respect) that I would keep their secret and not reveal it to a single soul. Anyone else, I'd be like...'Hey, you need to blab to someone else cause I don't care!'
Some consider my views brash and I've lost a couple of 'friends' over issues such as this, but you know...if you keep a 'secret' and someone finds out via someone else...it never turns out good, unless it's something like - So and so is in love with so and so; or I'm going to donate to this charity but I want it to remain anonymous; or something selfless and an act of true human kindness.
I don't know if that helps and I got a little more lengthy than I had planned, but there you go! XD
i know that in my case i feel the need to share information, even if i'm not proud of whatever the secret may be or whether it is anyone's business. i don't know why i feel the need to get things off my chest in this way, i just do. i believe that a lot of people do this. people are social animals and with that comes the desire to share gossip or discuss their problems or experiences. (By sharing secrets i don't mean blurting them out to whoever i see, i mean in confidence with people i believe are trust worthy)
If you have a secret and that somebody passed on, don't be too hard on them. By all means be annoyed with the person, but just remember that as social animals it is hardwired into us to gossip.
I'm not saying that i am right. Hope it helps
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