Does Success and Independence look sexy on women, or are successful women destined to be single?
If you think Success is Sexy, why? What makes her more sexy than any other woman?
If you think successful women intimidate men, explain.
I have already asked about 50-60 people this question, and received a variety of perspectives, so I want to know what my fellow Huber’s have to say.
Success looks good on anyone! I find myself attracted to women that are strong, and independent, and capable of taking care of themselves. Why? It's hard to say, I suppose because I have always been that way myself, it's how I was raised, and I think one has to respect anyone that has overcome life's challenges and survived and prospered.
Hmmmmm. It depends completely upon the woman. I've seen women wear success and power very well and said success only magnified their sex appeal; confidence in a woman is only going to appeal to a man who desires that in a woman. Some men are absolutely intimidated by alpha-females. I like a strong successful sexy woman. I prefer the company of equals not lessers. She has to challenge me on all fronts. Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. Having a female partner who is completely her own person is intensely erotic. I lose interest quickly in a woman who is more submissive.
Some men are intimidated by strong, successful women. The truth be told is that Alpha women are going to intimidate non-alpha males period. It's just how it is. An alpha woman needs an equal or greater. She'll either bond with or submit to that greater alpha-male or end up dominating a non-alpha male. Law of the jungle.
These women are not destined to be single; the key is compatibility. The first thing any man or woman has to know is who they are. What they really want and need. You pick your mate base on your true self as opposed to what you like to think of yourself. It takes some soul searching to get to this place however if you really know who you are then you know what kind of mate is going to suit you. When you pick that one happiness follows. If you're an alpha-female that needs to dominate a man then pick that kind of man etc....the best rule is "know thyself"
Most men are intimidated by a women who portrays the ego of a well-made man. However, getting them to admit it? Good luck.
When a Woman has the ability, brain and stamina, men get intimidated, unless ultra-competitive by nature men are around.
Then, she will have her hands full. Many real successful women can't be bothered by insignificant lower-class males, unless it's for their own sexual need, for a toy. They bestow a vibe that says "I am a self-made independent full grown woman. Here me roar. I can play with the BIG Boys and Win." type confidence.
The average male isn't up for that challenge. Sorry to say. But, it be true.
Nice question. Points to a part of society, where another's perspective is warranted. Men cannot judge themselves without bias. Most of the time their ego gets the best of them. This happens in very few women, in general. Thank you again.
I don't really think success is a factor in what I find sexy, confidence is, most successful people are confident, some are as insecure as the day is long. Red hair is sexy!!!!
LOL... Damn Straight, Red Hair is very sexy(just hate the freckles)
That could be dangerous... On top of the red hair I'm a Scorpio; which makes me a... Successful Red Headed Woman that Stings
Oooh! I have red hair, and I suppose I'm "successful," whatever that may mean. I have found it difficult, however, to find a man who isn't intimidated by the fact that I'm a lawyer. There are so many stereotypes about us, and it's difficult to overcome them. When I lived in London, I had a great time. People there seem to judge you on who you really are, rather than what you do for a living. I've been back in the States for a year and a half, and my social life is non-existent. So, as would be expected, I'm planning to move back to London next year!
Lawyer, huh? Whats the difference between a Lawyer and a rattlesnake?
Here we go. I don't know. I'm sure you're dying to tell me.
Many men that answered this question did not admit to being intimidated, but with the same breath, said they prefer to make more $ than their wives. I was also told, men do not want a woman that knows more than he does, he would rather teach and guide, than be taught and shown how to do something. Do you agree?
Unfortunately, that has been my experience. A guy broke up with me once after I beat him at Trivial Pursuit. I'm still searching for the guy who would be proud to have an intelligent, caring, accomplished woman by his side. So far, no luck.
I think that's true. I feel that my first marriage started to go wrong when I moved from secretarial work to being a manager.
I have to agree. Success in itself is not sexy per se. Confidence--not OVER-confidence--but confidence and a tiny bit of empowerment can be sexy.
yeah, I go for that red hair too!
Blanco, Texas? I live in Dallas. So you know what I'm dealing with here.
Dallas ain't Texas, anything North of Waco might as well be New York City.
I am in San Antonio... The majority of the men are Hispanic and there are still a large percentage of Hispanic men (from my experience) that want a baby making housewife-nothing more.
I’ve been told that by correcting a man, you are challenging him and his intelligence. That a woman should know her place, and just bring him a cold beer. It has been commented to men that I have dated, "Better put a muzzle on that one-or send her to obedience school"
I’ve also been told not to ever brag about my education, or to use 'big' words that only people, 'like me' would understand...
Not sure if it is a culture or gender trait?
Yes. Although I did escape to Austin as often as possible for some R&R.
I got drunk once at the Lumberyard in Austin and took off to stay at a motel, I thought I got lost and then I found what I was looking for, went to sleep, woke up, went outside and nothing looked familiar. I went to the office to find out where I was and they told me I was in Fort Worth, I drove 200 miles the wrong way!
That hilarious! So here we are, three Texans talking to each other. We should meet up in Waco for a drink. And what the hell are you two doing up so late? I've got to work tomorrow -- see you later!
Later, I'm up because I don't have to work this close to Christmas!
I'm trying to find a man...LOL, Just Kidding... Kids went to bed late, so in return I got a late start to my alone/relaxation time...
Question for you Mitch... Do you have a successful woman in your life? Mother, Sister anyone, who has influenced your views?
My Mother was successful at her career (Nurse)but my views just come with age, I can't understand not supporting a Woman to be successful. My wife is great at what she does and she can do so much more and I want her to follow her dreams and do it, whatever it is. My Father was very supportive of my Mother so I had that to learn from also, I hope that helps.
yes sir, it does. I am finding that most men think the way that their fathers think. Which I guess is normal.
I don't know about the sexiness of success in a woman, but I do know that most men are intimidated by successful women. they fear that a successful woman does not really need them and men like to be needed to feel strong...
A man wants to be needed.
Do you think men try to keep women (their spouses) down, so they continue to be needed?
True. But I have seen some successful women let their success go to their heads. They seem to want the man to feel what it is like to be in their perceived position. I think it is great when a women (or anyone for that matter) becomes successful. Just don't let your success blind you to the people around you, or the person you are in a relationship with.
Point well made... a personality should not change and shun others if success is achieved.
So success is great...
The turn off is being conceited or acting as if they are above the rest the moment they become successful?
What a subject
And A Scorpio OP
Clearly, many men feel intimidated by their own perceptions of success in a woman.... Most of them don't know how to be successful themselves!
For those of us who don't feel threatened that way... the best way of dealing with the sexiess of a successful woman is to provide her with the same platform; being sexy in your own success!
What do I know.... I'm blond and a Scorpio
You bring up a good point. “Most men don't know how to be successful themselves!” I'm still working on. But confidence in a woman as to who she is and how she carries herself is a great start.
As a blond and Scorpio, you seem to know a lot.
Thank you FM... Women communicate from young, far better than guys do. In this way, they are 'open' to knowing their abilities and being more honest in themselves with what they find and aspire to. Guys tend to find that a hard ask.
When the objective is to become 'successful' woman consider 'success' differently as well. I think the first success that many women achieve is 'finding' themselves; whereas guys tend to have no idea what that means, or how important it is as a platform for personal growth.
Another clear difference is; that women tend to always support the efforts of other women. And what do guys do?
I completely agree with that. Women begin to discover who they are and who they want to be somewhere inbetween 27-35. It becomes a conquest that starts off as a feeling, thought or realization. When women see other women going through the same transformation, we tend to encourage it.
If men do the same-they hide it well.
Most men I know care about themselves, there wants and their needs. They want a woman to make sure that they are catered to before she does a thing to grow herself.
What men don’t realize is that, if their spouse is striving to achieve greatness, she wants encouragement and his belief in her. It makes everything easier, and gives her support that she may need when she struggles in a "mans world".
When a man doesn’t give support-and isn’t successful at keeping her contained-when she finds success she will feel resentment towards him.
I often wonder how well guys would adapt to a 'women's world'
Perhaps they would understand equality huh?
My dad has a kind of fetish for mentally strong, powerful women, and he married one too. It isn't normal though.
Most guys prefer a woman who is more subservient than submissive (there's a difference). Many very strong, successful women are submissive towards their husbands, but it's nearly impossible for one to be subservient for practical reasons if no other. It just doesn't fit their personality, and perhaps not their set of talents either.
Ironically, guys married to subservient women often find themselves bored and fantasizing about, and sometimes even cheating with, more exciting independent women.
So maybe it's that successful independent women are more of a sexual turn on, but very few guys can actually handle that kind of woman. So they basically wimp out and make it seem as if success and confidence isn't really attractive.
I guess that would make my dad hard core. :-)
Women in work is a scam so that employers can pay half as much for twice the workforce. Unfortunately now, women whether 'sucessful' or not (And I believe you are talking solely about workplace success!) are spending so much time working hard at their respective jobs, and then having less time, and are too tired to look and feel their most attractive.
Successful women often seem masculin-ised. And unless a man is looking for a man that isn't really attractive. Not usually on the list of requirements for any man who likes to think he wears the trousers, owns the remote control -And by this I mean without her constantly saying, "put (this or that) on!" though occassionally is ok. then he gets to learn what she likes and tries to remember....Honest!
No, I still believe the success of a woman is how neat, tidy and stylish her home is. And how well she utilises the family budget when it's brought home by Mr. man.
Truth be Known; That independant successful men admire independant successful women as much as they admire independant successful men.
And for all others: ......... Stay Confused
I went back to finish college at the age of 29, just after I married my present husband. He never finished college, and people told me that he would resent my success. He never has! Anytime I won any kind of award for teaching or writing, he was more excited about it than I was. He's always bragging to others about my writing or other things. I guess he's secure enough about himself to appreciate and even admire my success.
I think strong women are both sexy...and intimidating to men.
I believe the natural inclination for both sexes is to look for someone at the same level in a variety of ways--physically, mentally, etc. (best chance for compatibility and resonance). However, traditional social and cultural influences dictate that a man be more quote, quote 'successful;' a woman more submissive and valued for her looks. Of course, a man who falls for this probably isn't very strong himself in all reality and therefore relatively unsexy to a strong/successful woman.
Then there are those men who very much want a strong woman--love what she can do for him in so many ways (and the paycheck isn't bad either), but socially he prefers her to look 'weaker' and take a more submissive role. In fact, I'd say that might be something of the norm for my generation--Gen X. I'm constantly amazed at how silent about matters of politics and business; world affairs women are socially in mixed company out for an dinner or something as couples. I find it strange.
intimidating to SOME men, maybe even most men, but certainly not all men.
besides, star, what are you doing up at this hour anyway?
lol We are supposed to be leaving for Santa Fe...and to drop someone off to catch a plane in Albuquerque. I-40 is closed (snow out this way), so I am sort of waiting around to see what we're going to have to do...
drive careful, have a safe trip, and please have a green chili breakfast burrito at the plaza cafe or el tecolate.
Only a real man is not intimidated by successful sexy women....or a jerk !
Personally, I consider myself a real man with JERK potential! SO bring your money and power tantrum; I won't be intimidated.
Who said I'm a successful woman ?
I like successful men. So bring your power and money, man !
Well, you know, since the topic was successful women I just figured we could think of you as a successful woman.
Maybe I am, but I prefer men who are more successful than me !
Nice alter ego!
I hope you're not talking to yourself, bluedog !
yeah, sucess with clothes on....not as sexy.
yes they can't be a bossy bitch and think they're better than you, of course not.
(now bossy and bitchy in the bedroom . . . that can work as long as she is wearing leather . . .)
If the male is an alpha male, she's sexy, if on the other hand he is NOT an alpha male, she's probably intimidating.
He may still find her arousing and sexy, he just won't imagine he could ever win her...
May all you women respect your men, and all you men love your women this Christmas time and through the coming year, and may all your hopes and dreams be answered.
it all depends on women, they all come in different forms and I dont think men are intimidated by successful women, women like that are perceived not to be dometicated and so men is also challenged by the fact that society expects them to be the breadwinner and the women earns more...
Men still want women to maintain theior households while they work outside the homes, although the opposite trend is growing too,,,
i would be overjoyed to worship at Your feet and respectfully worship your belly button, Mistress.
Do you think you're going to win with that phrase ?
Say that to Marilyn M and you might have a butt kicker's chance!
it depends on the guy's confidence whether he'd feel insecure beside a successful women, but I personally believe that success REAlly makes women sexy.
first we have to define "successful woman" then, of course, we still can't discuss what men think of her! that would be "unfeminine"
Some men are intimidtaed by independent sexy and successful women and I had men tell me they did not want a woman too independent because its about control.
Let's see...men are intimated by powerful, intelligent, successful, educated, independent and financially independent women. Roll that all with looks, and it's a sure way to scare them off. At least that's my experience. I have met a handful of men who are respectful of powerful women, so these men do exist. It's just too bad that they are the exception, not the norm.
I am respectful of all women!
Being in the company of an intelligent, confident, successful, educated, independent woman is what I seek! It is exciting and rewarding to interact with them. It also brings out the best in me when there is that interaction!
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