Open Relationships?

1. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   or marriages?
   
   Would you be willing to remain in an open relationship?  Would you like it?

   replyreport
   1. 60

      falcon64posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      nope....for me marriages is most valuable than open relationship. I want mine as mine. I have a proof to hold. And I have nothing to worry.
      
      In an open relationship most of the looser is a woman than a man.

      replyreport
   2. 64

      Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I am. For the last ten years. And married for the last five of them

      replyreport
      1. 60

         falcon64posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         them?

         replyreport
   3. 59

      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      All the men I've dated up  till now ,never wanted to share me with another male. I never care sharing them with another woman.
      But also I have never fallen in love for real.
      I'm sure if some day I fall in love, I wouldn't want to share him with anybody.

      replyreport
2. 69

   Beth100posted 14 years ago

   Been there.  Done it.  Works as long as all parties are confident with themselves and all agree to the terms.  Has to be an even playing field or it doesn't work.

   replyreport
3. 69

   blondepoetposted 14 years ago

   You mean be married and swing Lyrics?

   replyreport
   1. 69

      Beth100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ??? am i just tired or are you trying to marry and swing lyrics at the same time????  lmao  (sorry BP, my bad humor tonight)

      replyreport
      1. 69

         blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         haha Beth did you not know I'm a contortionist?

         replyreport
   2. 75

      Mikel G Robertsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      an 'Open Relationship' is the politically correct terminology for swinging, yes BP.

      replyreport
4. 71

   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   Open relationships? or marriage?
   
   Would you like it?
   
   First, define open?
   
   Relationships are to be open. You should be able to tell a friend anything you choose to share. They should be kind of enough to listen.
   
   Relationships are based on a friendship connection. The main reason for many failed relationships are because people rush into the relationship, before they themselves are comfortable in their own skin.
   
   This makes for a bad match. And, the leading cause to failed marriages and relationships in general. Some people get into a relationship, because they want to settle down and make a family. Some do it because they are willing to settle for someone who is willing to settle for them? This makes no sense.
   
   People have lost their way in the rush to have it society. And, it's a sad thing. Much is lost.

   replyreport
5. 69

   blondepoetposted 14 years ago

   Lyrics I'm still unsure of the question. Do you mean married and allowed to sleep around?

   replyreport
6. 59

   Carmen Borthwickposted 14 years ago

   Open relationship to me means having sex with others when you are committed to each other. Sorry, but that's not a good thing

   replyreport
7. 69

   blondepoetposted 14 years ago

   Yea I wouldn't want to share my guy with anyone. I have friends who are swingers,and married, I respect their decisions. I just don't understand why you would want to marry if you wanted to be with other people, to me the best bet would be to stay single.

   replyreport
8. 66

   marcel285posted 14 years ago

   I would hate an open relationship, i wouldn't be able to handle it!
   
   I'm going to marry my man for life, making sure that i'm damn sure that we won't ever want to break up. I have no doubt in my mind that we will marry and live happily ever after. We both come from broken homes, including violence and verbal abuse. So that we marry and stay together is so important to both of us.
   
   You have to be so very sure about marriage though. A bad marriage screws over the children. I'm sure that's the main reason why i feel like i'm a bit of a freak.

   replyreport
   1. 62

      Isabelle22posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I wouldn't make a swinger I just love too much and it would break my heart to see him with someone else.

      replyreport
9. 61

   Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

   I'm in an open relationship and it works just fine for me.
   
   P.S.  This is just between us, don't mention our little chat to my wife please.

   replyreport
   1. 62

      Isabelle22posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Lol Ron we won't say a word.

      replyreport
   2. 60

      falcon64posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      lol!

      replyreport
   3. 0

      countrykumfortsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      lol.. reminds me  of  a joke that goes..
         My marriage is really great. The foods good and there's plenty of sex.
         Please dont tell my wife. ty

      replyreport
10. 66

    marcel285posted 14 years ago

    Same Isabelle, love causes me the most pain, it always has.

    replyreport
11. 0

    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    Ron's post underscores the key point:  Different strokes for different folks (at least as long as nobody tells the wife).  I've been in 'em (open relationships) and I've been in more "traditional" setups.  The best of the bunch (meaning my current, ongoing, till death do us part marriage) has elements of both:  Pam and I don't hook up with "outsiders", but part of that is because her health makes sex a potential death sentence now, and both of us are very much open to the "right" girl showing up to help me out (iffen ya knows what ah means) and lessen Pam's guilt at being literally unable to fulfill what she sees as her "wifely duties".
    
    Bottom line:  If it feels RIGHT, it MAY be...but if it feels WRONG, only a fool would fail to pay attention. 
    
    One final caveat:  In the teachings I study, it's stated unequivocally that when you have relations (physical) with another person, the two of you exchange some amount of karma.  I'm in no rush to "connect" with any third party...because I've no idea in Hell what sort of karma is going to come with that package. 
    
    Example:  Pam once (many years ago) gave a fellow a Pity Piece (so to speak)...several times.  He was married.  His wife had fibromyalgia.  Within the year...so did Pam.
    
    Hmmmm.......

    replyreport
12. 0

    blatvaposted 14 years ago

    Honestly, My boyfriend has been my first in everything...
    We've talked about how 'open' we want our relationship, And Both came to the conclusion that If we did have that type of... arrangement that we would just end up resenting each other.
    
    Personally... I could never look at him, or touch him again.
    Maybe it's a weakness, But when we decided to be with each other That was it for me.

    replyreport
13. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    it would not work for me, too jealous, now if she was happy for me to have loads of women and she was to remain fathful...well that a whole new bag of fish...

    replyreport
14. 75

    Mikel G Robertsposted 14 years ago

    I have to say for me being open to an open relationship would be a sign of not valueing the relationship... If I (me, personally, no judgements here) were willing to risk her finding a better sexual partner that would be because I thought of her as replace-able, not as one of a kind.
    Having been the 'extra' many times, I know from first hand experience that most open relationships (successful ones) are successful because the partners wouldn't dream of leaving.(they have the best sex in the world because they can litterally be with anybody and not risk losing their partner.)
    
    Guys (males) what I mean by this is...if your 'wife' wanted you to sleep with any and every woman at the party, why in the hell would you ever leave her... but the down side is, she gets f****d by every swinging d*** in the club too...

    replyreport
    1. 75

       Mikel G Robertsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I much prefer the singles 'swing' clubs. (Sex clubs that are there to facilitate sex between singles and or swinging couples.) Everyone in the place knows every other person is there for casual sex... no games.

       replyreport
15. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Mikel hear what you saying there, thats why it would not work for me...

    replyreport
16. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Hear what you are saying, but we live in dangerous times, a good frined of mine went on a blind date on the net, says he used condom, now has HIV, he certainly isnt a swinger, in fact she may only have been his second woman, thats why he went on the blind date...not a great socialite....as they used to say in Hill Street Blues - be careful out there....

    replyreport
17. 84

    wychicposted 14 years ago

    I would never be able to be in an open relationship, I'm a somewhat possessive and very jealous person and it just wouldn't work. Luckily, my husband's personality is very similar to mine in this respect. Besides, we both love attention so much that we don't have time for anyone else . Granted, every now and then I have to re-affirm my stand on the issue...I'm 9" shorter than my husband and he always states that I couldn't scare a bowl of oatmeal, so it always gives him a good laugh when I observe that someone was flirting with him and follow it up with, "Mine! Nobody's touch! I will eliminate all competition!"

    replyreport
    1. 0

       Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I'm with you wychic on this.  Although I'm not possessive or the jealous type, but i do have alot of bad luck with girls.  therefore, knowing my luck the girl that i had an open relationship with would eventually grow tired of me and break up with me or she'd fall madly in love with one of the other guys that makes her happier than me.    not saying it would happen, but with my luck, it would.  that's another reason why i would never want to be in a threesome either. 

       replyreport
       1. 84

          wychicposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Lol...you sound like you're about on par with me in the self-esteem department. I wouldn't say that I've necessarily had bad luck with the guys (other than the ex who wanted an empty-headed cow...I couldn't fit the role, so I stepped aside for someone who could), but whenever I look at other women all I see is someone that's better than me in some way, so my assumption -- true or not -- is that I'd always get the short end of the stick in anything more open.
          
          I do have a good friend that is in an open relationship, and I know that her husband has recently had some serious issues with it...he didn't at first, I guess he thought it'd be fun, but then he met me, who his wife wanted for a girlfriend and was rather disappointed that I wasn't buying, and somehow I guess it all hit home for him. I've known his wife for years and am rather conservative, so he felt pretty safe talking to me about it, and he really believes his wife doesn't see him as good enough for him. Knowing her, it seems to me that she just wants to sample all of what life has to offer, but I can certainly see why he feels that way.
          
          And yeah, I have to agree with Tantrum here...with the ex I probably could have been talked into sharing. Lord knows I wasn't getting what I needed, and I honestly didn't care if it was another male or a female he brought home. My current husband, I love him to death and wouldn't stand for any other female near him, and he loves me to death so he wouldn't stand for any other male near me.

          replyreport
18. 60

    caravalhophotoposted 14 years ago

    Tried it when I was in my 20's and very much into drugs...20 years later, my life and respect for myself has changed dramatically...I respect what I put into my body and if my partner doesn't, lord knows what he'd bring home...
    
    As in all things in life...love is and art, sketched and painted atop a canvas of mutual respect.

    replyreport
19. 56

    yenajeonposted 14 years ago

    Oh there is no way I could handle that. Maybe I'm not mature enough? Or am dead set in what I think is wrong vs. right.

    replyreport
20. 64

    Mishaposted 14 years ago

    Years LOL. Sorry my English

    replyreport
    1. 60

       falcon64posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You meant out of 10 years with an open relationship. They are five? And you settle down with # 5.

       replyreport
       1. 64

          Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          LOL I meant 10 years to date of open relationship with my wife, with whom I am officially married for the last five years.

          replyreport
21. 75

    Richieb799posted 14 years ago

    I think my ex wanted to do something like this but I couldn't be comfortable like that, because one person is always gonna like the other person a bit more than the other, I would feel bad sleeping around and then meeting up with them for a 'cuddle' lol

    replyreport
22. 39

    efeguyposted 14 years ago

    i go for marriage.
    
    open relationship with so many diseases around nooooooooooooo

    replyreport
23. 60

    megs78posted 14 years ago

    I have watched one of my closest friends lose all that she had during the course of her open relationship.  Her self-esteem, self-respect, confidence, her ability to say no, her ability to think straight etc, etc.
    
    Certainly not all people will act this way in an open relationship but I sincerely believe a large percent (especially women) will suffer from such an arrangement.  Jealousy is a dangerous thing, paranoia, and anger, resentment and lost meaning leads to a dark place.
    
    My friend was successful, ambitious, beautiful, sweet and vibrant.  Now, she's tired, lost and adrift and doesn't know how to get back to herself.
    
    I would say, if you are not completely sure of who you are and what you want and what you can stand, do not go there.

    replyreport
24. 0

    PrettyPantherposted 14 years ago

    I am in an open relationship, although both of us rarely rarely take advantage of it.  We have certain "rules" about it and it works for us.
    
    Ownership is highly overrated. 

    replyreport
25. 61

    nosmo_kingposted 14 years ago

    Ladies. Don't do it because your husband wants you to. Do it because you want to. If you don't want to, then don't do it! Swinging requires maturity, honesty and trust, and the desire by both people to want it.
    
    Jealousy is about lack of trust. It's a feeling you get when you think that your significant other thinks less of you and more of someone else. If you trust and love him/her and they trust and love you then there should be no problems.
    
    Confidence is also important. You have to feel confident in your own skin, confident in your love and commitment to your significant other.
    
    Knowledge is important to. There are quite a number of good books out there on the subject of swinging and the open marriage. Read a few with your spouse. Maybe you'll open some doors or maybe you'll both decide that it's not for you.
    
    Or you could just say, 'There is no reason for swinging and other extra-marital things, so why risk it?'. Well, I hate to break the news to you but you only live once and life is far too short not to try and enjoy it. Just be smart about it and the world can be yours.

    replyreport
26. 77

    skyfireposted 14 years ago

    Open Marriage is Like OpenID.

    replyreport
27. 59

    logic,commonsenseposted 14 years ago

    It takes self confidence, an open mind and a strong will to be in a open relationship.
    It is not for the weak at heart.  It can be very exciting and motivating.

    replyreport
28. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

    replyreport
29. 61

    aefranciscoposted 14 years ago

    neither - better to be single

    replyreport
30. 56

    yenajeonposted 14 years ago

    Its not about ownership, its about respect. And for those that do it secretly, aka you are cheating on your wife/husband and they DO NOT know, its very sad and downright sick.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Well, ok, but the very definition of open relationship means that both parties are aware, so there is no cheating involved.
       
       I have been in more closed relationships than open ones and I feel more respected in my current open relationship than I ever did in any of my closed ones.  Respect is about many things, not just sex.

       replyreport
31. 0

    EmpressFelicityposted 14 years ago

    My feeling is that in most open relationships, one half of the couple wants such a relationship and the other goes along with it in order to "keep" them.  Such an arrangement ends up being toxic for the unwilling half and slowly corrodes their self esteem (like one or two people have already pointed out).
    
    I've never met anyone with whom I'd even consider such a relationship. Put it this way, there would have to be HUGE compensating factors to make me want to get involved.

    replyreport
32. 71

    Cagsilposted 14 years ago

    As I stated before?
    
    Open isn't defined here?
    
    Lyrics has not determined or made known, what is an "OPEN" relationship, while she compares it to Marriage which is defined.
    
    Just a thought?

    replyreport
33. 64

    Mishaposted 14 years ago

    For me it is a mutual permission to have occasional sex on the side.

    replyreport
34. 59

    L.Lawyerposted 12 years ago

    an open relationship is a happy one, granted there could be jelousy or the other partner could be intimidated. but if your stuck with just one person you could drive yourselves apart from eachother.
    a relationship is emotional understanding and empathy. an open relationship is lust and fun.
    which one would you prefer? i know what id go for!

    replyreport
35. 92

    peeplesposted 12 years ago

    If my husband asked for an open marriage I may be open to it. If I am not capable of meeting all of his needs I would certainly like him to speak up instead of cheating without telling me. At least then I am given an option of what I would rather have. In ssome situation I may be open to it.

    replyreport