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jump to last post 1-45 of 45 discussions (76 posts)

Worst Line Your Partner In Bed Ever Said

  1. formerbronxboy profile image56
    formerbronxboyposted 7 years ago

    It happened only once, honest. Is that it! I hadn't had any for two months, footbal injury (leg).

  2. lightning john profile image59
    lightning johnposted 7 years ago

    "God these pillow cases smell great"!

  3. Pearldiver profile image78
    Pearldiverposted 7 years ago

    I am amazed at how long it's been since I left saying:
    "BRB.. I just need to have a smoke!"
    Yep it was so long ago that she said:
    "What do you mean 'Can I move?'....
    I'm enjoying what you're doing.. I can't move as well!" roll lol

  4. schoolgirlforreal profile image82
    schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years ago

    I just ate, can we try later?

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      He probably told them to oversize the meal. mistake.

    2. eaglecreek profile image60
      eaglecreekposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      mine hates it when i say that

  5. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago

    ...guess I've been lucky and don't have a worst line!  I'm sure I could make up a few if you'd like....

    how about....'you're the best in bed!'

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Every honest person that gets around hears something.

      1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
        SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        i guess that's my line! and I'm sticking to it!  LOL!

  6. earnestshub profile image88
    earnestshubposted 7 years ago

    I would think saying "God! You're better than your sister!" would empty your bed in a hurry. smile

    1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
      SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      LOL!  yep...that would do it!....and then 'and don't the let door hit you in the ass on your way out'

      1. earnestshub profile image88
        earnestshubposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        :lol; lol lol Now that would really do it! lol

    2. Denise Handlon profile image90
      Denise Handlonposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      earnest-you are BAD, and it is sooo funny, LOL

    3. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      earnest, That's a good one, but you could have gotten killed.

  7. profile image64
    logic,commonsenseposted 7 years ago

    It doesn't smell that bad!

    1. eaglecreek profile image60
      eaglecreekposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      LMAO

  8. lynxlee profile image60
    lynxleeposted 7 years ago

    "If you get me pregnant, I'm gonna kill you."

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image82
      schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      LMAO!!!

    2. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      lyn, Are you dead?

  9. samboiam profile image58
    samboiamposted 7 years ago

    She said: Who are you gonna please with that?

    I said: Me

    1. courtney_neal profile image55
      courtney_nealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wow!!!! tongue

    2. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      sam, A fraternity brother was known as being small. All he said was; "little, but educated."

  10. wychic profile image88
    wychicposted 7 years ago

    "We better be careful or you might get pregnant."
    "Too late."

    1. courtney_neal profile image55
      courtney_nealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      DUDE!!!! hahahaha

    2. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      wychic, Guess he didn't know how to be careful.

  11. paradigmsearch profile image92
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    Get off me.

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      para, Did you knock him off of you?

  12. paradigmsearch profile image92
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    And stay off.

    1. courtney_neal profile image55
      courtney_nealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      hehehehe I have said that before... but thats because I wasn't feeling good and my boyfriend was trying to cheer me up.. but backfired on him.

  13. LeanMan profile image87
    LeanManposted 7 years ago

    Do you know the game bedroom rodeo????


    You climb on, get into the swing so to speak, and you then call your partner by someone else's name and try to stay on board for as long as you can, extra points if you use their sister's (or brother's) name..

  14. Richieb799 profile image81
    Richieb799posted 7 years ago

    Her: Wow! Where did that burst of energy come from?
    Me being Modest: Sorry I was a bit tired tonight
    Her: I don't care that was amazing!

    sorry that was the best line because I couldn't think of a worst one wink

  15. Greek One profile image77
    Greek Oneposted 7 years ago

    "I'm going to have to charge you double for that"

  16. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago

    night all!  don't forget to bring me coffee and breakfast in the morning.....and don't let the cat out when you leave....and don't let the door hit ...............(continued from my earlier post (up above).

    http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/funny-dog-pictures-breakfast-in-bed-order.jpg

    1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
      SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      ....hey, where's my breakfast?  thought I left my instructions before I went to sleep?

  17. habee profile image94
    habeeposted 7 years ago

    One of my pals used to sing "Jesus Loves Me" during the act.

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      habee, That's sick!

  18. WizardOfOz profile image61
    WizardOfOzposted 7 years ago

    Well, I'm glad at least you're happy.

    I was not impressed obviously and proceeded to remark something about a starfish.  We parted ways not long after tongue

  19. Kangaroo_Jase profile image82
    Kangaroo_Jaseposted 7 years ago

    So if a girls eyes go totally white, she starts speaking in tongues, her head spins and she looks like a hurling of green pea soup going to happen REAL soon.......is that bad ???????

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe, did she spit-up on you?

  20. profile image0
    selrachposted 7 years ago

    Your ceiling could do with a lick of paint

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      sel, I was waiting for someone to say that or you have a crack in your ceiling.

  21. pisean282311 profile image59
    pisean282311posted 7 years ago

    'i love it john , oh sorry ur name i chris'

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      pis, As long as you got off.

  22. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Was that you or the dog smile

    1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
      SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      it's me.....couldn't find a pic of myself...so used the dog!  same instructions though!

    2. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      the, I'm not gonna say anything about that; was the dog panting?

      1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
        SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        no, not at that moment...was totally reeeeeeelaxed...and waiting tor breakfast!

  23. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Great pic dont know where you get them smile

  24. CrystalSingleton profile image59
    CrystalSingletonposted 7 years ago

    "Come on Im horny." gee is that supposed to put me in the mood or make feel beautiful or just used?

    1. eaglecreek profile image60
      eaglecreekposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      at least i added a "please" when i said that lol

  25. profile image46
    mavisdavisposted 7 years ago

    Here is the scenario: you two in bed like spoons - you behind and he/she in front; grab a handful of hair and grip tightly round the waist as you say, ardently; "...you are sooo good, so very delicious and good...not as good as my first wife/hubby...but you are sooo good...".  Then hang on for the ride of your life!

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      mav, Yee, haa!

      1. ptosis profile image81
        ptosisposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        That's rodeo sex -  same position - and say, "Your sister was better..."

  26. profile image0
    ralwusposted 7 years ago

    "Why those are my hubby's shoes."

    1. formerbronxboy profile image56
      formerbronxboyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      ral, You put hubbys shoes on; were they big shoes to fill?

  27. thooghun profile image84
    thooghunposted 7 years ago

    "My arm's tingling" She had a heart attack paranoid.

  28. Hubbin4V12 profile image69
    Hubbin4V12posted 7 years ago

    oops!?

  29. Diane Inside profile image80
    Diane Insideposted 7 years ago

    Never said it but wanted to, "It would stay in better if it was longer."

  30. privateye2500 profile image42
    privateye2500posted 7 years ago

    I was told "I'm goning to treat you SOOOO good....one of these nights."  LOL!

  31. Daliah Lego profile image57
    Daliah Legoposted 7 years ago

    "Baby, you make me hot...oh, baby...."
    It is soooo cheap! Turns me off instantly. LOL.

    1. WryLilt profile image92
      WryLiltposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      "Can we do it missionary so I can sleep?"

      (Me, with a not very old baby and very tired! lol)

  32. profile image47
    andywill63posted 7 years ago

    John..... (that's not my name)

  33. Adult Content profile image54
    Adult Contentposted 7 years ago

    There was a time in college back in the 1980s when a girl told me she once took a whole phone receiver inside her woo.  (Think about what your basic phone looked like in the early 80s, okay?)
    All in all though I generally have enjoyable moments in bed . . . be it mine or someone else's.

  34. rebekahELLE profile image88
    rebekahELLEposted 7 years ago

    I can't think of any .. except this one.. 'that's not going to work." yikes:

  35. Adult Content profile image54
    Adult Contentposted 7 years ago

    I know I am going off on a tangent here but has anyone ever experienced the other person hopping up and running into the bathroom to fart?
    What did the person say?
    I have found myself in position of having to get up but I don't really give any explanation I simply apologize when I return and make certain I finish the job, if ya know what I mean.
    I think the most I have said is:
    I'll be right back!

  36. Joy56 profile image77
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    it's sad when the guy seems to always have the headache.

    1. Adult Content profile image54
      Adult Contentposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Well, I read an article somewhere that said that the headache excuse no longer works as an orgasm releases a certain chemical or chemicals that is good for a headache . . . at least in the case of women.  I don't recall if it applied to men or not!  Anyway, Joy, just FYI: I NEVER have a headache!

  37. jolinabetts profile image81
    jolinabettsposted 5 years ago

    " hold on a sec, i don't know if i still have it in me..ooh my arms hurt"

  38. Jerami profile image70
    Jeramiposted 5 years ago

    Three words a woman doesn't want to hear her husband say while she is making love is ...
    Honey I'm home  as he walks in the front door.

  39. gmwilliams profile image86
    gmwilliamsposted 5 years ago

    C'mon, honey, you know that YOU were the ONLY one-please!

  40. Healthy Pursuits profile image90
    Healthy Pursuitsposted 5 years ago

    I'd have to guess that a guy saying, "I think it just broke" when he's using a condom could be pretty bad. But only at certain times...

  41. eaglecreek profile image60
    eaglecreekposted 5 years ago

    "are you finished yet?"
    or even worse: "whats taking you so long?"

  42. gmwilliams profile image86
    gmwilliamsposted 5 years ago

    Calling out someone else's name at THAT PARTICULAR moment!

  43. jolinabetts profile image81
    jolinabettsposted 5 years ago

    "Oh come on! try not to act like a starfish this time"

    " Hold on a sec, my dentures gets in the way".

  44. LeanMan profile image87
    LeanManposted 5 years ago

    "is it in yet?"

  45. recommend1 profile image72
    recommend1posted 5 years ago

    I asked a friend if she told her husband when she hit 'that' point,  she said, "no, I'm never near a phone when it happens".

 
working