Would you forgive your spouse if he/she has sexed with another person?

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  1. profile image0
    andycoolposted 12 years ago

    What would you do if you see your spouse is engaged in sexual activities with another person? Would you forgive him/her?

    1. Diane Inside profile image75
      Diane Insideposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No I would not, if he has no more respect and love for me than that I would not forgive him.

      Just as I would not expect him to forgive me if I ever did such a thing.

      1. profile image0
        Home Girlposted 12 years agoin reply to this


    2. vox vocis profile image81
      vox vocisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would probably forgive him after all the hurt is gone, but I would leave my partner. Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean staying with the partner.

      1. profile image0
        DoorMattnomoreposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        very good point.

      2. Inspired to write profile image80
        Inspired to writeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        We are all human animals really & such things to many, unfortunately are within our very make up to become tempted by another even to the extent of disrespecting a loved one & this goes for both male & female.

        andycool This will be hard for you as you may not relax in the back of your mind thinking what she may be up to when your not around so YOU must make your own decision.

        If you do decide to break your once romance take your time & look inside & take the advice of vox vocis concerning forgiveness so that you will become free to love again without judging any new partner as being the same as the last one.

        When someone cheats although it's hard for me to say this but something was missing within your relationship and all the while some smart arsed Joe came along and instilled attraction into your lady but you could look at it this way. Maybe she wasn't the one for you after all, it's just unfortunate you had to find out this way.

        You are worth more my friend & life is for learning. Even the mistakes we make.

        Regards Dale

    3. Tirzah Laughs profile image60
      Tirzah Laughsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      The trust is gone.   

      The relationship would be over.  I could forgive them to the point I wouldn't hold a grudge (after time) but I would not want to be involved with someone who cared so little for our relationship.

    4. prettydarkhorse profile image57
      prettydarkhorseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I don't know yet.

    5. Ben Evans profile image67
      Ben Evansposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No I wouldn't. 

      It is an awful thing for anyone to do.  While I may not be angry after awhile, I would never forgive the person.  As far as a relationship is concerned, this is the worst type of deception.

      Others may decide to be open and that is their prerogative.

      If a person is not in a relationship like that then the deception is not fair to the other partner.  I would probably never speak to the person again.  That is just me.

    6. Love and Peace profile image60
      Love and Peaceposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would probably be a little hurt and upset, maybe. It just depends I guess. Sex, to me is natural, and everyone craves it and I don't really think sex is as big as a deal as everyone makes it out to be. I mean, did my partner have sex with this person or did they make love with them? It's totally different. If they are making love with another person, than they need to be with that person and not me, but if they love me and had sexual relations with someone else, I would be able to forgive them as long as it wasn't a regular thing.

      I think it's impossible to say that I wouldn't be upset or jealous, or a little less trusting in my partner, but at the same time I would definitely be able to forgive him.

    7. onegoodwoman profile image68
      onegoodwomanposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Even the just can fall.....

      I really think that I would................once.

      If not, then " for better or worse", " forsaking all others" and forgiveness,  are meaningless.

      My vows were not for the meaningless.

    8. Dave Harris profile image69
      Dave Harrisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Never, it is the ultimate betrayal of trust and I wouldn't expect my partner to forgive me either!

    9. tvpuram profile image59
      tvpuramposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You should, if you have cheated her similarly.

    10. profile image0
      mtsi1098posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think there is huge trust issues here and the act could not be forgiven...If this happened to me I would always wonder if it would happen again...

  2. profile image0
    DoorMattnomoreposted 12 years ago

    Tough question. I don't know. It's not happened so I can't say for sure. My gut reaction is to say "no way" but then, I've had that idea before and been wrong when confronted with the reality of grey. Forgiveness would hinge upon various factors.

  3. Greek One profile image63
    Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

    is this other person another man, or a really hot woman/women?

  4. Mighty Mom profile image80
    Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

    Good point, Greek One. If I see my husband engaged in sex with someone else there's a possibility I might join in.
    Or, I might shoot one or both of them.

    1. profile image0
      DoorMattnomoreposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ohhhhh I did not realize we were catching them IN the act. well, that changes everything.....

  5. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 12 years ago

    Forgive or not forgive? Would depend on the circumstances; I've never really thought that rigidly. Like Mighty Mom, I might even join in.

  6. Elsa Leary profile image60
    Elsa Learyposted 12 years ago

    I really difficult to answer.As camlo said that depends on the circumstances. But even if I forgive him, it would become a major issue and I don't knonw if the relationship can survive it.

    1. Druid Dude profile image59
      Druid Dudeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No, first they have to stop. THEN I'll think about it.

  7. profile image0
    Kathryn LJposted 12 years ago

    No, he'd suffer far more if I stayed with him and didn't forgive him.

  8. b. Malin profile image68
    b. Malinposted 12 years ago

    No...A BIG NO!  Mine is a second marriage....we both came from partners that cheated.  We both know the pain and mistrust that it produces.

  9. profile image0
    Longhunterposted 12 years ago

    No. Right after love, trust is the most important part of a relationship. As one who has been cheated on, I couldn't get past it and moved on.

  10. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
    schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years ago


  11. SomewayOuttaHere profile image61
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

    ..you don't wanna know my answer...i'd probably get banned!....

  12. Autumn Miller profile image59
    Autumn Millerposted 12 years ago

    Forgiveness is possible. It is important to NOT pretend that it never happened. If is best to face the problem that led to cheating along with the resentment, distrust, and pain that followed. If the person who cheated could not stick around to deal with the fall out then you have to move on. If they do stick it out and show a real effort to change you can truly forgive them. It is possible to have a healthy and happy relationship with that person.

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      yeah, we humans are not perfect , it depends on the circumstances but it would have to never happen again........yes you can forgive.......people have weak moments.................?

      1. profile image0
        andycoolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        To err is human, to forgive is divine! But sometimes it's difficult to follow the divine rules... isn't it?

  13. DRobinson63 profile image58
    DRobinson63posted 12 years ago

    If I didn't have kids with him definitly leave him otherwise seperate for bit and see if we can work through it cause we will be in each lives for a very long time so we would have to have some type of relationship.

    1. profile image0
      andycoolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It's difficult to take such issues so objectively... but I think if it's a one night stand then one may consider to forgive. But again that's too difficult!

  14. waynet profile image67
    waynetposted 12 years ago

    I would go out and find the first lady I could find and see if she would do a lapdance for me and then go for a kebab and a pint of lager and then back to mine for some bedroom dancing! big_smile

    And I'd film all of it on my flip camera and just let the other cheating ho see it!

    No what I am saying.

    Respect to the ginge!

    1. prettydarkhorse profile image57
      prettydarkhorseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      good point waynet!!

  15. Stevennix2001 profile image83
    Stevennix2001posted 12 years ago

    i honestly don't know. it would depend on the circumstances and how much in love i was with this girl and whether or not she felt the same way.  sure, she cheated on me, but people do make stupid mistakes all the time, as she might've been drunk or blinded by her own emotions over what she really wanted. it's hard to say for me, as i normally can't get a girl to go out with me on a first date. let alone be with her to be in a serious relationship, so it would be a tough call for me, as i could be looking at the possibility of not being able to attract anyone else.  Then again, if i feel she cheated on me and doesn't love me anymore, then I would just walk away.  Sure, she can give me all the excuses in the world, but I would just leave.  Besides, nothing is worth sacrificing your own self respect and dignity; especially when it's a battle you can't win.  Nah, i've always been the type that only fights the battles that I know that I can win, or at least have a shot at it.

    1. profile image0
      andycoolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Nicely explained. If someone has the spirit to forgive like a saint, it's ok for them, but then they are like saints! smile

  16. profile image0
    jca197493@yahoo.cposted 12 years ago

    She better be smokin hot and not have a disease because he would be faced with the locks changed and moving in with her!

    1. Greek One profile image63
      Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      forgive him!!! it was just a one time thing... it just happened!

    2. Stevennix2001 profile image83
      Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      well assuming that's your real picture in your avatar, i think your bf would have to be insane to cheat on a smoking hot girl like yourself.  wink

      1. Greek One profile image63
        Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        or he could just want to try a brunette every now and then...

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image83
          Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

          lollollollol  i guess he would have to have a very big appetite then. wink  lol

  17. profile image0
    jca197493@yahoo.cposted 12 years ago

    No free card for the pants coming down. Trust is everything in my eyes...

  18. profile image0
    jca197493@yahoo.cposted 12 years ago

    I promise that is me. I have been married 13 years next month and yes, my husbands preference is a brunette! I just hope he does not acts on it...

  19. motricio profile image70
    motricioposted 12 years ago

    If I got sex with other girl, It means you are not longer my girlfriend, and you in the same way.
    It doesn't make any sense for a relationship bound if there is no happiness and commitment to each other.
    Now, we are active sexually as much as we think about it and focus our attention on it.
    But if you want to do it, do it right! and SAFE!
    No one has to know, wink
    - We need to be good being bad cool

  20. profile image48
    ssohrraposted 12 years ago

    Sex is a necessity and if at all such activities is going on in the house then i fear there is something wrong with me.May be i can't satisfy her requirements or something else which must be sorted out at the earliest.She should be forgiven and much attention is needed to her.Be sure she doesn't suffers again of our own fault

  21. Disturbia profile image60
    Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

    I wouldn't forgive him anymore!  I've been through this more times than you can shake a stick at and have always tried to be understanding, but I'm done, done, done, and done with understanding anything anymore.  I'm not even going to talk about my ex-husbands, my current (soon to be ex) is enough to write a book about.  This man cheats the way other people change socks. I've tried to understand, gone to counseling, worked harder on this than anything ever in my whole life and still, he just can't help himself. According to our therapist, he has an "addiction" to sex, but you know what, I just don't care anymore! I'm tired of the cheating, the internet porn, the strip clubs, the whole deal and I'm finally kicking him to the curb like the dog that he is. 

    I'd say nobody should put up with that kind of disrespect and humiliation, not for a minute. Send him packing the first time you catch him cheating. 

    I've sent a few e-mails to some of his "girlfriends" advising them that he will soon be free and available and if any of them are ready for the relationship from hell, they can come on by and collect him.  But be warned: If he cheated with you, eventually he will cheat on you too. tongue

  22. saleheensblog profile image61
    saleheensblogposted 12 years ago


  23. Gypsy48 profile image77
    Gypsy48posted 12 years ago

    Once trust is broken, it's over.

  24. Lisa HW profile image61
    Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

    I wouldn't spend my time stewing over him, but I'd write him off as an idiot who either can't control his own behavior or doesn't want to.  In other words, no.

  25. LSKing profile image71
    LSKingposted 12 years ago

    It depends on the circumstance. There are some situations where the other person is cruel and unloving. Humans are emotional creatures and if we feel unwanted we will seek compassion and understanding from someone else. This often times will lead to sex. With therapy and a mutual understanding, forgiveness is possible.

    In this strange world it seems that if you move on, you may find yourself back in the same type of relationship. It's worth a try to see if it can work out.


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