Would you forgive your spouse if he/she has sexed with another person?

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   andycoolposted 12 years ago

   What would you do if you see your spouse is engaged in sexual activities with another person? Would you forgive him/her?

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      Diane Insideposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No I would not, if he has no more respect and love for me than that I would not forgive him.
      
      Just as I would not expect him to forgive me if I ever did such a thing.

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         Home Girlposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Agree.

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      vox vocisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would probably forgive him after all the hurt is gone, but I would leave my partner. Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean staying with the partner.

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         DoorMattnomoreposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         very good point.

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         Inspired to writeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         We are all human animals really & such things to many, unfortunately are within our very make up to become tempted by another even to the extent of disrespecting a loved one & this goes for both male & female.
         
         andycool This will be hard for you as you may not relax in the back of your mind thinking what she may be up to when your not around so YOU must make your own decision.
         
         If you do decide to break your once romance take your time & look inside & take the advice of vox vocis concerning forgiveness so that you will become free to love again without judging any new partner as being the same as the last one.
         
         When someone cheats although it's hard for me to say this but something was missing within your relationship and all the while some smart arsed Joe came along and instilled attraction into your lady but you could look at it this way. Maybe she wasn't the one for you after all, it's just unfortunate you had to find out this way.
         
         You are worth more my friend & life is for learning. Even the mistakes we make.
         
         Regards Dale

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      Tirzah Laughsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      The trust is gone.   
      
      The relationship would be over.  I could forgive them to the point I wouldn't hold a grudge (after time) but I would not want to be involved with someone who cared so little for our relationship.

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      prettydarkhorseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I don't know yet.

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      Ben Evansposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No I wouldn't. 
      
      It is an awful thing for anyone to do.  While I may not be angry after awhile, I would never forgive the person.  As far as a relationship is concerned, this is the worst type of deception.
      
      Others may decide to be open and that is their prerogative.
      
      If a person is not in a relationship like that then the deception is not fair to the other partner.  I would probably never speak to the person again.  That is just me.

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      Love and Peaceposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would probably be a little hurt and upset, maybe. It just depends I guess. Sex, to me is natural, and everyone craves it and I don't really think sex is as big as a deal as everyone makes it out to be. I mean, did my partner have sex with this person or did they make love with them? It's totally different. If they are making love with another person, than they need to be with that person and not me, but if they love me and had sexual relations with someone else, I would be able to forgive them as long as it wasn't a regular thing.
      
      I think it's impossible to say that I wouldn't be upset or jealous, or a little less trusting in my partner, but at the same time I would definitely be able to forgive him.

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      onegoodwomanposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Even the just can fall.....
      
      I really think that I would................once.
      
      If not, then " for better or worse", " forsaking all others" and forgiveness,  are meaningless.
      
      My vows were not for the meaningless.

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      Dave Harrisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Never, it is the ultimate betrayal of trust and I wouldn't expect my partner to forgive me either!

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      tvpuramposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You should, if you have cheated her similarly.

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       mtsi1098posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I think there is huge trust issues here and the act could not be forgiven...If this happened to me I would always wonder if it would happen again...

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   DoorMattnomoreposted 12 years ago

   Tough question. I don't know. It's not happened so I can't say for sure. My gut reaction is to say "no way" but then, I've had that idea before and been wrong when confronted with the reality of grey. Forgiveness would hinge upon various factors.

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   Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

   is this other person another man, or a really hot woman/women?

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   Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

   Good point, Greek One. If I see my husband engaged in sex with someone else there's a possibility I might join in.
   Or, I might shoot one or both of them.

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      DoorMattnomoreposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ohhhhh I did not realize we were catching them IN the act. well, that changes everything.....

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   camloposted 12 years ago

   Forgive or not forgive? Would depend on the circumstances; I've never really thought that rigidly. Like Mighty Mom, I might even join in.

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   Elsa Learyposted 12 years ago

   I really difficult to answer.As camlo said that depends on the circumstances. But even if I forgive him, it would become a major issue and I don't knonw if the relationship can survive it.

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      Druid Dudeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No, first they have to stop. THEN I'll think about it.

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   Kathryn LJposted 12 years ago

   No, he'd suffer far more if I stayed with him and didn't forgive him.

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   b. Malinposted 12 years ago

   No...A BIG NO!  Mine is a second marriage....we both came from partners that cheated.  We both know the pain and mistrust that it produces.

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   Longhunterposted 12 years ago

   No. Right after love, trust is the most important part of a relationship. As one who has been cheated on, I couldn't get past it and moved on.

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    schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years ago

    maybe

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

    ..you don't wanna know my answer...i'd probably get banned!....

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    Autumn Millerposted 12 years ago

    Forgiveness is possible. It is important to NOT pretend that it never happened. If is best to face the problem that led to cheating along with the resentment, distrust, and pain that followed. If the person who cheated could not stick around to deal with the fall out then you have to move on. If they do stick it out and show a real effort to change you can truly forgive them. It is possible to have a healthy and happy relationship with that person.

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       schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       yeah, we humans are not perfect , it depends on the circumstances but it would have to never happen again........yes you can forgive.......people have weak moments.................?

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          andycoolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          To err is human, to forgive is divine! But sometimes it's difficult to follow the divine rules... isn't it?

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13. 58

    DRobinson63posted 12 years ago

    If I didn't have kids with him definitly leave him otherwise seperate for bit and see if we can work through it cause we will be in each lives for a very long time so we would have to have some type of relationship.

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       andycoolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       It's difficult to take such issues so objectively... but I think if it's a one night stand then one may consider to forgive. But again that's too difficult!

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    waynetposted 12 years ago

    I would go out and find the first lady I could find and see if she would do a lapdance for me and then go for a kebab and a pint of lager and then back to mine for some bedroom dancing!
    
    And I'd film all of it on my flip camera and just let the other cheating ho see it!
    
    No what I am saying.
    
    Respect to the ginge!

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       prettydarkhorseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       good point waynet!!

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    Stevennix2001posted 12 years ago

    i honestly don't know. it would depend on the circumstances and how much in love i was with this girl and whether or not she felt the same way.  sure, she cheated on me, but people do make stupid mistakes all the time, as she might've been drunk or blinded by her own emotions over what she really wanted. it's hard to say for me, as i normally can't get a girl to go out with me on a first date. let alone be with her to be in a serious relationship, so it would be a tough call for me, as i could be looking at the possibility of not being able to attract anyone else.  Then again, if i feel she cheated on me and doesn't love me anymore, then I would just walk away.  Sure, she can give me all the excuses in the world, but I would just leave.  Besides, nothing is worth sacrificing your own self respect and dignity; especially when it's a battle you can't win.  Nah, i've always been the type that only fights the battles that I know that I can win, or at least have a shot at it.

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       andycoolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Nicely explained. If someone has the spirit to forgive like a saint, it's ok for them, but then they are like saints!

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    jca197493@yahoo.cposted 12 years ago

    She better be smokin hot and not have a disease because he would be faced with the locks changed and moving in with her!

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       Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       forgive him!!! it was just a one time thing... it just happened!

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       Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       well assuming that's your real picture in your avatar, i think your bf would have to be insane to cheat on a smoking hot girl like yourself. 

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          Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          or he could just want to try a brunette every now and then...

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             Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

               i guess he would have to have a very big appetite then.  

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    jca197493@yahoo.cposted 12 years ago

    No free card for the pants coming down. Trust is everything in my eyes...

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    jca197493@yahoo.cposted 12 years ago

    I promise that is me. I have been married 13 years next month and yes, my husbands preference is a brunette! I just hope he does not acts on it...

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    motricioposted 12 years ago

    If I got sex with other girl, It means you are not longer my girlfriend, and you in the same way.
    It doesn't make any sense for a relationship bound if there is no happiness and commitment to each other.
    Now, we are active sexually as much as we think about it and focus our attention on it.
    But if you want to do it, do it right! and SAFE!
    No one has to know,
    - We need to be good being bad

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    ssohrraposted 12 years ago

    Sex is a necessity and if at all such activities is going on in the house then i fear there is something wrong with me.May be i can't satisfy her requirements or something else which must be sorted out at the earliest.She should be forgiven and much attention is needed to her.Be sure she doesn't suffers again of our own fault

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    Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

    I wouldn't forgive him anymore!  I've been through this more times than you can shake a stick at and have always tried to be understanding, but I'm done, done, done, and done with understanding anything anymore.  I'm not even going to talk about my ex-husbands, my current (soon to be ex) is enough to write a book about.  This man cheats the way other people change socks. I've tried to understand, gone to counseling, worked harder on this than anything ever in my whole life and still, he just can't help himself. According to our therapist, he has an "addiction" to sex, but you know what, I just don't care anymore! I'm tired of the cheating, the internet porn, the strip clubs, the whole deal and I'm finally kicking him to the curb like the dog that he is. 
    
    I'd say nobody should put up with that kind of disrespect and humiliation, not for a minute. Send him packing the first time you catch him cheating. 
    
    I've sent a few e-mails to some of his "girlfriends" advising them that he will soon be free and available and if any of them are ready for the relationship from hell, they can come on by and collect him.  But be warned: If he cheated with you, eventually he will cheat on you too.

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    saleheensblogposted 12 years ago

    NO NEVER.

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    Gypsy48posted 12 years ago

    Once trust is broken, it's over.

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    Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

    I wouldn't spend my time stewing over him, but I'd write him off as an idiot who either can't control his own behavior or doesn't want to.  In other words, no.

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    LSKingposted 12 years ago

    It depends on the circumstance. There are some situations where the other person is cruel and unloving. Humans are emotional creatures and if we feel unwanted we will seek compassion and understanding from someone else. This often times will lead to sex. With therapy and a mutual understanding, forgiveness is possible.
    
    In this strange world it seems that if you move on, you may find yourself back in the same type of relationship. It's worth a try to see if it can work out.

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