Guys, help!

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (14 posts)
  1. profile image0
    Emily Sparksposted 6 years ago

    I usually let everything up to my boyfriend (where to eat, what to do etc) because I do not want to choose something he does not like (he would suffer through it without telling me).  He just told me "don't be afraid" to tell him what I would like.  How do you feel?  Am I being too agreeable?

    1. PsychNick profile image71
      PsychNickposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      So if i get this straight either you or him will be suffering through something? I do not think it should be consider suffering through something. I mean if you are bf and gf you would enjoy doing things the other likes because you are doing it with them. I think you two should compromise on things and take time to go places and do what both of you like. If he told you dont be afraid then dont! Tell him and yes you are too agreeable because you cannot go through life just doing what another person likes especially when it appears he isnt forcing you. So have a talk, tell him how you feel and agree to do things that both you like. Also, sometimes you can do certain things with your girl stuff with your friends and he do some guy stuff with his friends.

      1. profile image0
        Emily Sparksposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        I didn't really mean ome of us would be suffering.  Me, I really don't either way the decision is made. I meant to say, if he really did not like something he would do it anyway just for me.  No, O didn't mean to imply that either way one of is would suffer.

  2. Charles James profile image77
    Charles Jamesposted 6 years ago

    Be straight. Tell him to be straight.

    Otherwise you will be eating broccoli the rest of your lives because you are both too polite to say you hate it.

    1. Jonathan Janco profile image65
      Jonathan Jancoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I love broccoli!
      If both of you are unwilling to make decisions about what to do, then you call the shots next time you go out. Then tell him next time out he plans the evening. After you see what he enjoys and viceversa, you might know more about the potential of the relationship.

  3. habee profile image94
    habeeposted 6 years ago

    Grow a spine! Men don't respect "doormats." You can voice your opinions without being pushy or overbearing.

    1. profile image0
      Emily Sparksposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Don't get me wrong.  He never "walks all over me".  He never pushes me to do things.  He asks for opinions.

      1. brimancandy profile image76
        brimancandyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        I agree with habee.  Your original question made it sound like your main interest is pleasing him, without taking yourself into consideration. (I'm guilty of doing that from time to time)

        So, here's a suggestion. Talk to him about it, and maybe arrange days that the two of you split what you do. Some days do just what he wants, and others do what you want. But, make sure it's agreed by both of you.

        Also don't get into a routine, every once in a while switch days. Also don't make it an argument, if you can't agree on what to do, find a diplomatic way to end an argument...flip a coin or something, or make a game out of it.

        But NEVER seem like you are too eager. I find that men don't like someone who is asking too many questions or wanting too many things. Approach it slowly, and feed the ideas to him in pieces. Our attention span is very short, and we don't like being overwhelemed all at once.

    2. Greek One profile image75
      Greek Oneposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      When people eat, embarrassing things can happen.  Food can fly out of your mouth, you could spill something, or maybe even burp.

      Best you pick a restaurant that your boyfriend likes to go to, and just order some water.  Watch him talk, laugh and his jokes, compliment him, and look at him lovingly.

      Even better still, let him save his money and you make him dinner.  That way, you can show off your cooking skills, as well as your cleaning-up-the-table skills.

      1. Cardisa profile image91
        Cardisaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        I only came to this forum because I saw your comment in my feed and started to laugh. I didn't even read the original post.  I have to checkout your hubs to see if you are as hilarious as you are in the forums.

  4. paradigmsearch profile image88
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    Dialogue is a good thing. smile

  5. profile image0
    Arlene V. Pomaposted 6 years ago

    If he asks for your opinion, do you give it?  Or do you just smile and let him take the reins because you don't speak up?  Let me tell you.  When you don't speak your mind when it comes to your boyfriend or anyone else, be prepared to get trampled.  I find it very sad when a woman agrees to anything.  As far as I'm concerned, they are passive aggressive personalities because of it.  You aren't doing yourself or your boyfriend or anyone else a favor by not speaking your mind.  You are merely some puppet or doll in the "Yes" mode.  Sad to see women who are 60 and still doing that.  So why just address this problem to guys only?  Jeez.

    1. profile image0
      Emily Sparksposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Usually when he asks I say "it doesn't matter, what do you think?"  Most of the time it does not matter to me.  He doesn't trample over me at all-he is very considerate of me.  He wants to know what I want, and the few times I told him, he was happy to oblige.  So why do I hesitate to tell him what I would like?  The problem is with me, not him.

  6. rLcasaLme profile image70
    rLcasaLmeposted 6 years ago

    In my experience, being honest is the way to go. Hiding emotions or opinions won't be good if you're trying to still know each other.
    I've learned to love the things my wife loved doing, and my wife learned to love what I loved doing as well.

    In the same way, I have stopped doing what my wife don't want me doing and she had stopped doing what I don't want her to be doing.

    For example, she don't want me to smoke. I stopped it.
    Was she being selfish? No! It's the for the better.

    The way to do this is to confront each other. Have a serious talk. Tell to each other that from that day on, you'd both be honest with each other.

    Hiding something is a disaster waiting to happen.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)