The Very Best Techniques For Bathing Your Cat: Original Bathing Techniques: A Cat's Tale.

A split personality from bathing.

This guy states that enforced bathing has seriously affected his personality and his image.
This guy states that enforced bathing has seriously affected his personality and his image.
This cat was dunked like a biscuit in cold water!
This cat was dunked like a biscuit in cold water!

Animal Abuse Is A Serious Issue!

Just a warm place to sleep.
Just a warm place to sleep.

A few tales about the owners.

This is a cat's tale about the very best techniques for bathing your cat: original bathing techniques: A cat's tale; by Pearldiver. This article explains how the cats view the brutal techniques used by a group of people who refer to themselves as cat owners.

For years, cats have allowed those people to consider themselves as 'a cat owner' even though every cat knows that it is the cat who actually rules. Enforced bathing is one of the worst things that could happen during any one of the nine lives that cats are said to have.

Herein; true tales from several cat's perspectives; about bathing and how pet 'owners' need to find far more original techniques when cleaning an allegedly grubby moggy. These tales contain disturbing images and as such; it is therefore not advisable to expose pets to this content.

From any cat's point of view; the process of bathing is one that is completely unnecessary and no owner should consider it their right to treat their cat so harshly; merely because that owner enjoys feeding their feline companion. I have interviewed several cats during the course of researching the material within and not surprisingly the majority of those interviewed agreed that they Hate Bathing!

From those cats interviewed; 100% of them considered enforced bathing as a complete abuse of trust, love and all the proud stuff that makes a cat act like a cat. Most agreed that their owners had deliberately lied to them on the pretense that a mouse had just disappeared down the plughole, or that bathing was going to hurt the owner, more than the cat. Most cats that participated in this survey; asked that they were given fair representation, anonymity and were able to have their individual acts of revenge factually recorded. Most names used are fictitious.

The first cat featured is Tom; who explained that he was now suffering from post dramatic stress disorder. He also felt that his personality had been split to the point that the word 'bath' sent him into uncontrollable shaking and (he asked me not to say) incontinence! In fairness to him (and for the sake of a story) I assured him that I would report it as I saw it. Several cats interviewed asked that the writer, as feline advocate; report their respective owners to the S.P.C.A. to have them tried and punished for a wide range of bathing crimes against pussydom.

All cats featured had something serious to say and hoped that their message would be understood by humans! Each gave evidence willingly and without duress or as a result of financial or edible inducement. Our Official Interpreter was: Tom the Cat. Freelance Roaming Pet Reporter.

*WARNING* This article contains images of Distressed Wet Cats!

*Pearldiver*

Resourcefulness is the key.

After clinging to the taps for an hour; Albert got scruffed.
After clinging to the taps for an hour; Albert got scruffed.

Albert's bathing technique.

My second example of original bathing techniques involves the pet owner hobbling her pet with the Yipee-Ky-Ya knee hold. Albert (the cat) reported that this method is always used by his owner and is usually applied after his owner has 'scruffed' him by the neck. He felt as though his owner gained considerable pleasure and a sense of power, from then lowering Albert into cold water in such a way that his private bits were dunked; making his landing gear retract unnaturally!

Albert was by far; the most resourceful cat interviewed. On the last occasion after he was unceremoniously scruffed, dunked and Yipee-Ky-Ya-ed, he managed to cling to the taps for an entire hour. "I showed her!" he stated, but then added that during all the time he was hanging on for grim death; the water got really cold. His owner scruffed him again with her free hand and then completely dunked Albert's front half. A visible shiver came over poor Albert as he recounted his experiences. This was replaced with a beaming smirk as he told me of the revenge mission he went on after each bathing session. Apparently, Albert's owner is very partial to muesli.

"I feel completely betrayed!"

Blimp feels that the only enjoyable part of bathing is when it is over and she secretly gets to roll in the dust.
Blimp feels that the only enjoyable part of bathing is when it is over and she secretly gets to roll in the dust.

Blimp's scary tale.

I was met by a very distressed young cat called Blimp when the door opened on the day of her interview. She was concerned that her friends would find out about the abusive treatment she was exposed to on a weekly basis, from her elderly owner. After thirty minutes of serious purring from Tom; she relaxed enough to tell us her scary tale.

Blimp explained that her owner was in her late eighties and although she often forgot to feed her; never forgot the punishment day. Every Friday morning at 9.30am, her owner religiously filled the bathroom basin with warm water and 'bubblebath' solution. Blimp knew that running away was fruitless; as the old girl merely chased her with the vacuum cleaner and sucked her up in the tube. Each time that happened, her owner then dragged the vacuum cleaner into the bathroom, held the tube over the handbasin and flicked the vacuum cleaner onto blow mode; splashing Blimp into the mass of wet bubbles that went up her nose.

What followed next was that Blimp was scrubbed from backside to breakfast with a hard bristled pink toothbrush for fifteen minutes. A toothbrush!! Not just any toothbrush, no; it was the old girl's own denture brush, which was also regularly used to remove grunge from the shower box. Then Blimp was picked up by her ears and plonked onto the side of the handbasin, while another plunge pool was prepared for the rinse cycle. Next came five minutes of what her owner called auto dry; but was in reality; a spin dry in the clothes dryer.

Blimp's smoking teeth revenge.

Looking back, smoke filled the valley coming from Blimp's old home. Clearly the microwave had done its job.
Looking back, smoke filled the valley coming from Blimp's old home. Clearly the microwave had done its job.

Blimp's escape from hell.

This was horrible stuff; so much so that early the next morning Tom and I called back to Blimp's place and convinced her to leave with us. We had found her a foster home. Before Blimp left the house for the last time, she asked Tom if he could help her leave a parting message for the sleeping ex-owner. Back in the car the cats told me what they had done. The old girl had been flat on her back asleep and snoring. Beside her bed was a glass of water, with her false teeth in it; so Blimp put the teeth in the microwave and turned it on high for twenty minutes before leaving. "Thank you guys," said Blimp. "Hey no cat should be abused!" said Tom. Looking back, smoke filled the valley.

"I just stare at her and plead!"

Oscar believes that if he stares as his owner for long enough she will let him go, so he can scratch his ears.
Oscar believes that if he stares as his owner for long enough she will let him go, so he can scratch his ears.

Oscar's bathing tale.

Our original bathing techniques survey would not be complete without a typical Bumble Town moggy. Oscar, as with many of the Bumble Town cats; is semi feral and as such; gets pretty grubby in his day to day adventures. To have any sort of social life in Bumble Town; Oscar had to adopt a semi feral lifestyle while also giving his owner the appearance that he is the main man (cat) about the house. He spends a lot of his time tagging the empty buildings in town, scavenging rubbish bins and hunting water rats along the banks of Blackwater Stream. After such a hard day a the office, Oscar always comes home via the dump and no doubt picks up a few hitchhikers in his tabby coat. He said he doesn't mind being flea bitten; as he reckons being henpecked by his owner is much worse.

Bath day for Oscar only happens about twice a year and only after his owner complains to him about the itchy red bite spots that cover her legs. Oscar sleeps on her bed and enjoys marking the whole house if ever he gets growled at. He gets away with everything he says, by just staring at his owner, whom he knows loves him most of the time. Oscar's owner doesn't really bath him; more like a dip actually. She fills the sink with warm water and then pours in a bottle of what he says is flea jumper. He says he doesn't mind the 'bath' but hates the jumping fleas that safely bounce around in his ears; because he can't use his paws which are held by his owner. He sits in the sink for fifteen minutes looking pleadingly at his owner to scratch his ears. Relief comes from being towel dried and later some vigorous scratching. Oscar asked if we could ask his owner to give him fish meals.

"It's s-s-sooo c-c-c-col-d-d!"

Noodle was trumatised by ice cold water at an early age and c-c-c-carries the scars in the f-f-form of a stutter.
Noodle was trumatised by ice cold water at an early age and c-c-c-carries the scars in the f-f-form of a stutter.

Noodle's bathing tale.

One of the hardest cats to interview was Noodle, as it was so hard to keep a straight face while he explained the bathing techniques employed by his owner. A jet black elongated little fellow, obviously named after his shape; Noodle also had a stutter that he eventually explained; came from his complete fear of cold water. His owner bathed him every week, by holding him in one hand and using a handheld shower with the other. At first the water is warm, but then he is shampooed all over and rinsed off with c-c-cold water. He said he doesn't struggle because he is just a small cat and the hand that holds him is so big.

Noodle clearly has a confidence problem and seems to feel that he would be alright; if only his owner could be trained to not use cold water when he bathed Noodle. He claims that he gets stressed out for two days before bath day and shivers for two days after. Other than bath day his owner treats Noodle pretty well, including giving him good meals, lots of toys and even his own pillow.

We felt the best way to train his owner was to turn off the hot water when he was in the shower himself. A week after we had interviewed Noodle; when his owner came home from work, jumped in the shower and shampooed his hair; Noodle turned on all the hot water taps in the kitchen and laundry. His owner apparently cried out in shook; but realized how Noodle must have felt each bath day. From that day onwards, Noodle reports that he now gets warm showers and doesn't st-st-stutter anymore. So it seems there are some great well trained owners.

"What am I? A bath sponge?"

Splat feels his owner is so cheap that he uses the cat to wipe the bath, rather than buy a cleaning sponge.
Splat feels his owner is so cheap that he uses the cat to wipe the bath, rather than buy a cleaning sponge.

Splat's bathing tale.

Yet another mutinous cat to voice his opinion was Splat; no false name for him either. He explained his owner had told him that his name meant 'my best mate!' "Umm.." I thought, "This will be good!" And I wasn't wrong! Splat really hates his bath day; so much so, that he always runs away in the hope that he will avoid the inevitable. He said that he often hides out for hours and then when the boss has gone to sleep, sneaks through the cat door to quickly gobble down the snack that is always on his blue plastic plate. He knows that he needs to sleep with one eye open, in case the boss catches him before he can escape again. He thinks it is a good plan and he boasts that when it comes to it; he's a smart cat!

So does he actually get bathed and when did it last happen? "Last week he got me!" said Splat. "But he was lucky because I had dozed off, while using his pillowslip as a hammock. How was I supposed to know that he would bring the washing in early? Anyway, it took him thirteen days to catch me." And what happened next I wondered? Splat explained that his owner always used the hose on him. The hose was permanently stuck through the bathroom window and on bath day, Splat got dropped into the bath; his owner then left the bathroom; shut the door, turned on the hose and then came back to the bathroom to spray Splat.

After a vigorous hosing Splat was left sprawled out in the bath to drip dry. His owner told him that he felt it was important time; just enough for Splat to consider whether he really was the smarter of the two. Splat was also told to wipe the bath dry before he was allowed out of it. Our time with Splat was cut short on the day we interviewed him; as we spoke a purple bath towel enveloped him and lifted him off the sofa. "Surprise Splat...... it's bath day!" said his smart owner.

"Owwww......owwwww....oww!"

Tom spills the beans on owners and the bathing techniques that they use without understanding how the cats feel.
Tom spills the beans on owners and the bathing techniques that they use without understanding how the cats feel.

Do group discussions help?

Perhaps you have noticed that there are a lot of cats in your neighborhood just sitting around meowing at each other? Until I had spent time interviewing other cats with Tom, I used to think that they were sizing each other up for a fight. If you stand back and just watch this group; you will notice that it really is a group discussion about owners and the techniques that they adopt when bathing their pets. And if a motley black and white moggy with a bent tail seems to be doing all the howling; you can bet that it is Tom. He is no longer suffering from a split personality, having realised that others are less fortunate than himself. In his own dramatic way, Tom will always have something to say about how much he hates bath day. "Owwww.....owwwww.....oww!"

Bathing Poll. - Please Help.

Do you believe that cats should be bathed or only allowed to clean themselves?

  • Should be Bathed
  • Left to Clean Themselves.
  • Both.
See results without voting

Chloe: Wet by design.

Chloe's bathing tale.

Well... I've got to say that I've met some pretty cool cats in my life; but Chloe takes the cake! As far as she's concerned the world and her 'owner' is her oyster. She lives up to her name in ever respect; insisting that we interviewed her at her favourite place; the hairdressing studio. When I say 'we' I really mean 'me' as Tom was specifically asked not to enter the premises on account of his bent tail and smell.

Chloe can only be described as the new breed of designer cat; who clearly feels she has an image and reputation to uphold. Today she was here for not only a shampoo, style, cut and dry; but also a whisker tint and clawsicure. She just had to tell me that at the end of her pampering session; due to the season, she would be leaving with a Louis Vitton cashmere wrap. Was she putting it all on the card? I asked. "Oh no, I wouldn't think of such an extravagance; that's precisely what my 'owners' are for!" Chloe also insisted that we use her real name; she told me that her leather tote bag was named after her and that anyone who was anyone knew that! Oh Ok, should I also step outside too? I thought.

"Now what magazine did you say you were featuring me in?" she asked. "And, by the way, you do realize I only accept a minimum of 40% of all advertising income, don't you?" After the brief encounter; I happily joined Tom on the outside. Shaking my head and smiling; I thanked my lucky stars that Chloe the cool designer cat; was not mine.

This work is subject to Copyright.

Copyright © 2009 - 2012 Pearldiver nzpol with all rights reserved. Please do not copy, reproduce or download this work without the express written approval of the author.

Tom The Cat Prefers To Travel 'Incognito' when on assignment.

Frazzelled - Fear of Bathing!
Frazzelled - Fear of Bathing!
Cats are pretty smart.. but there's no way I would chase a mouse down a plughole or hate bath day! Thanks for reading.  Pearldiver.
Cats are pretty smart.. but there's no way I would chase a mouse down a plughole or hate bath day! Thanks for reading. Pearldiver.

More by this Author


Comments 60 comments

Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

This wasn't what I expected, at all. Though cleverly done, and as always from Pearldiver, well-written, I couldn't get along with this hub very well for some reason. I felt sorry for the cats even though I knew we were only joking.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Paradise7, Thanks for reading this and your comments. I appreciate what you are saying; I wrote this because I also felt sorry for the cats. Perhaps that subtlty was lost first time around? Take care.


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Now you've done it Pearldiver, a whole neighbor-hoods worth of cats are going to come after you for showing them off in one of their most humiliating states.

Sorry Pearldiver I thought my kitty was sleeping when I opened this hub. It seems she read every word... when I came back from to the kitchen with my coffee she was frantically sending off emails... just thought I give you fair warning...close your doors and windows and drapes be very very careful when you leave your house... Na just kidding.

I love this hub, what a great bunch of pics too.

How can I vote for any of the stories each needs to be taken seriously I guess it will have to Tom this time


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Zsuzsy Bee, It's interesting that you foresaw an increase in feline traffic around my place. Thanks for reading this and leaving a positive comment. Glad you enjoyed the work and the fun of cats. You're quite right about the humiliation that they suffer at bath time. You take care and put a cat lock on your laptop huh?


Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Man O Man! LOLOL!! There is little in this world sadder looking than a wet cat! There should be a Telethon to expose this heinous abuse of power, torture, and lack of respect to cats. I've always been a dog person, however, I was adopted 10 years ago by 2 cats, whom I've never bathed. I can't bring myself to inflict this kind of cruelty on my cats, mostly on myself. I'm allergic to stress and cat scratches!

Well done PD!! Love it!!


Jess Killmenow profile image

Jess Killmenow 6 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

Having had the pleasure of bathing a cat, I sympathize. Please pass the iodine. I have to go for my tetanus shot now.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hello There Candie, How are you? Hahaha cat scratches? That's why some owners use a hose lol (other than for those attached cats). Have to agree on how sad most cats look this way... but you must admit some cats get really grubby! Thanks for reading this Candie; you take care, it's almost time to get your tea pot cover out again for winter lol.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Jess Killmenow, Thanks for reading this work. So what methods do you use on your cat? I guess you have to really appreciate why the claws come out; especially when attacked by a toothbrush. Cheers for your comment, hope you were able to sit after your shot.


maven101 profile image

maven101 6 years ago from Northern Arizona

I'm still laughing ( in sympathy ) at the poor cats indisposition...Great writing accompanied by such pathetic and embarrassed pics of these humiliated creatures....

By cat. Simon, is a Siamese mix and loves to jump in the shower with me...he loves it !! I don't wash him, but wet him down with the sprayer then wrap him up in a thick towel and dry him off...Thanks for the humor...Larry


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi there Larry, Glad you enjoyed this and the humo(u)r. I also had a Siamese that enjoyed the water and really liked the hairdryer. Like people, I'm sure it's got to do with how they are brought and introduced to things. These guys in here show it well. Take care Larry thanks for calling.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 6 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

I'm a dog person myself. I have a lot of friends who have cats, but they don't bathe them. I thought cats bathed themselves...they're constantly licking and cleaning their fur.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi alekhouse, yes I think as people take the time to understand their pets, they begin to find out what damage can be done with chemical based products as opposed to their cat's natural ways. Thanks for reading this work; I hope all is well in your world. Take care.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

Oh dear, oh dear...there sure are some cruel people in this world!! Shiver.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Feline Prophet, Oh dear, I bet you didn't see this one coming lol. Thanks for reading this do-it-yourself instruction manual for cats FP. Take care.


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago

This is so damn funny and cute to watch those poor cats suffering :) It seems like we are killing them when we take them to the showers! Nicce hub pearldiver.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi shamelabboush, Thanks for your comments. You are right; I think this work has given us the chance to think about the merits of bathing cats lol. Take care.


Sarra Garrett 6 years ago

I can't stop laughing. Your stories are so true. As a cat owner I have only attempted once to give mine a bath. NEVER AGAIN. They didn't speak to me for a week.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Sarra, Good... I'm pleased you enjoyed this. Yes these tales are true...just some of the names are fictitious. Good comments Sarra. Thanks for reading this. Take care.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

I can't remember having so much fun reading a hub, Pearldiver. This was an absolute treat, my friend. I thoroughly enjoyed it and voted Blimp's Tale as the best/funniest, not to take away any of the other tales at the least bit! Thanks for a good time!


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi dohn, Thanks for reading the cats' tales. Glad you enjoyed this work; it's a light hearted look at a problem that affects alot of cats. I haven't reported any owners to the SPCA; as I'm not a whistleblower and they can google it anyway. Cheers for calling dohn, take care.


Helen Cater profile image

Helen Cater 6 years ago from UK

Oh my this had me in stitches. The pics are great and I am glad you interviewed so many cats and sought their opinions. This was an uplifting hub and I smiled all the way through.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Helen, thanks for your comments and appreciation of Tom's first real job, which allowed me the chance to interview many cats; including many that don't appear here. I'm glad you enjoyed this work and I'm sure your vote will help some of these cats adjust to stardom. Take care.


Justine76 6 years ago

HAHAHA!!! :) This was so funny. I am well aware of the fact that my cat owns me. I am lucky that she cleans herself quite regularly, so there is no need for bathing. Once, I had to do the flea dip, I felt so bad for her, but she was quite happy when it was over. Great hub PD.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Justine, Glad you enjoyed this work. Thanks for reading it and your comments. So you have had first hand experience of how your cat feels when bathing? I note that you have said that you had a flea dip - wow... that was a brave thing to do! Did you actually have fleas or were you merely teaching your cat? Enjoy your pet Justine, she sounds like she has alot of influence in your life. You take care; I promise I won't say anything about those jumping things!


Justine76 6 years ago

well, I am brave I suppose. I felt that she needed to see it wouldn't hurt. I luckily, did NOT have fleas, as my fur is not as thick as hers. We haven't seen any more of the horrible jumping things in about a year, so hopefuly that was our only expierience. :)


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Sorry if I came across as if I was being sarcastic Justine.

I don't believe in 'pussyfooting around' especially when jumpy things are involved. Thanks for kicking my butt!! Take care.


lyricsingray 6 years ago

I fel awful having once owned a cat yet never bathing it. I am sure to have another one day, and know I'll know what to do and not to do, thanks, kimberly


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Kimberly, Thanks for reading this work and your comment. It's always best to know directly from the cat's mouth whether they enjoy or hate bathing... Chloe's tale is an example of what cats will put up with if they are rewarded.... A bit like people huh? Take care.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Funny hub and great pics!


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Habee, Thanks for reading this. Yep the beddragled cat pics say it all. Take care.


SoftCornHippo profile image

SoftCornHippo 6 years ago

The worst thing you can do to a cat besides actually dumping them in cold water, is to photograph the results! You are so sadistic! I guess you didn't mean to be, and maybe these cats really needed bathing. If so, I would like to share a method that they will actually come to look forward to - You use the kitchen sink - turn on the tap just a trickle of warm water, Use a warm wet washcloth on the cat, slowly and gentle - while petting and cooing and talking - My cat used to jump up in the sink and meow for a bath - its more like a spongebath combined with a kitty massage and he loved it so much! There really is no need to use soap, but if you do, use a very gently baby shampoo and make sure you get all of it out of his fur. Use a wetter and wetter washcloth gradually getting the cat very clean this way, without any shock or terror involved. I'm serious - how would you like someone to grab you and dunk you in the huge ol bathtub! If I was those cats I'd never talk to you again! Great hub, but please consider my cat-washing method!


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi SCH, Wow.. Interesting comments! Firstly; this hub is actually a plea from cats to not be bathed! It appears that you have missed that point completely and/or didn't read the hub fully. None of the featured felines are mine; nor do I need to consider getting dunked into cold water or worrying about whether or not the subjects will ever talk to me again! I take your point and for the benefit of context to what actually is a good hub, perhaps another read may help you take my points within this work. Perhaps the best example of being sadistic is demonstrated by this post to the party above? Thanks for your bathing method, I'm sure future readers here will adopt it. As a chef though, it certainly would concern me that a furry animal has familiarised itself with my food preparation area! lol.

Thanks for wallowing.. take care.


keira7 profile image

keira7 6 years ago

Hi Pearldrivers, I discover you from a hubber named Lyricsingray. So I am now a new fan. Can I ? Anyway great hub, and I will read more of your work. I have enjoy reading this one.:) God Bless you.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi keira, Thank you for reading my works and for becoming a fan. I haven't had the chance to read your works yet, but I will soon. And thank you to Kimberly for the introduction. You Take Care keira.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

Hi, you make me smile,,,haha, humour in writing, I know you are a good writer!

It is difficult to bathe a cat LOL, it is like wooing a nun, and yes they gather always sharing what they have to undergone when the owners forced them to be in the water,,,,

very nice hub Mr Rob

have a good day always! Maita


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Maita, Thank you: For reading my works and for being so nice. I honestly don't know how hard it would be to woo a nun lol. Though I imagine it would be best left that way! I enjoy having people think as they smile and if I can achieve that in writing, then I have written. You take care Prettydarkhorse.


Frugal Fanny profile image

Frugal Fanny 6 years ago from BC

Just wait until I tell the cat mafia about this. Hide your books, or those nasty humans will soon be sleeping with the fishes! lol


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi FF, Thanks for reading this work. Being a fisherman; that would just seem like heaven. Take care.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Every cat I have known feels the same way. You can fool a cat once but then he'll throw up in your shoes, claw your furniture, bring a pet in to play with,....


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Micky, thanks for reading the original bathing techniques of these cats. You are quite right when it comes to fooling a cat only once. Yes they are very resourceful when it comes to revenge for any action against them. I'm sure many owners have had to change their socks as a result.

Take care.


wordscribe41 6 years ago

My cat was never the same after I had to give him a bath to wash away flea poop. He suffered PTSD to the end. Yes, he felt betrayed. I told him ALL the lies about the why's, no doubt pulled out the "this is going to hurt me a lot more than you" routine. True story, this resentful feline actually puked in his bath water. He had no other means of communication, Rob. He went on to have severe h2o phobias, preferred juice to any other kitty beverage. The stress of it all affected him physically, he developed diabetes a few years later. I can't tell you the lies I told when sneaking up on him with those needles.

What a marvelous read. Good grief, you are one talented man. How have you been? Did you get my email? I've been missing you round these parts. Take care, Laura


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Laura, hahaha thanks for calling by. I hope this work has not brought on an outbreak of guilty conscience for your quesionable bathing techniques lol. Glad you enjoyed this Laura. I got your email yes and will reply soon. Take care my friend.. hope your Winter was not too harsh.


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 6 years ago from Canada's 'California'

I think congratulations to your roving reporter Tom are in order for his coverage of bath abuse. Hundreds of cases go undocumented each year due to fear of owner retribution. It takes a a brave feline to bring these heinous acts into the spotlight.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi EL, thanks for reading Tom's first story, he worked really hard to put this assignment together while almost managing to retain his sanity. As it happens, yes he does deserve congratulations; but more so for his involvement in the next two articles. Afterall in this one he ended up taking a bath. Take care and be well.


blue parrot profile image

blue parrot 6 years ago from Madrid, Spain

Well, I set or signed or put you up as a fan, because you have a nice nick, but why do you have such an ugly photo?! Also the photos of your cats are really sad!

So I did not read the stories, since, anyway, I thought you were writing poetry here, which, I calculated, would fetch you dozens of Google ads if...if in your poems you include keywords like

make money

fast money

tax free

MP3 three

Look! It rhymes! You can have all the rights.


SomewayOuttaHere profile image

SomewayOuttaHere 6 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

that was really funny - you had me laughing out loud. i'm a cat owner. Thanks!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Yep! Priceless!


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Blue Parrot, thanks for calling by, but it is a pity that you didn't bother reading the articles, as then you would understand why the cats look so sad. This is what they call 'tongue-in-cheek' and may well mean something else in Spain? Take care.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi SomewayOuttaHere, Thanks for reading this work and your comments. Glad that you enjoyed it. I guess someone had to get the cat's point of view across huh? Take care and be well.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Micky Dee, thanks for calling in again. Hope this wasn't your cat that left the note. Take care mate.


Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 6 years ago from SE MA

This post alone convinced me to follow you :-)


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Pcunix, thanks for reading my work and for answering some of my questions, which I appreciated very much. I am glad that you enjoyed this. Take care.


Baileybear 6 years ago

I like how Blimp got sweet revenge with the false teeth! Love your humourous writing style. PS I think your photo is cool


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Baileybear, thanks for reading this work. Glad you enjoyed her classic feline revenge.. you can't trust them if you have false teeth you know lol. And never leave shoes unattended. Cheers for your compliments, you take care.


Baileybear 6 years ago

PS forgot to say "kia ora" (I'm from NZ but now live in Aussie)


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Kia Ora Kiwi... I knew from your IP that you weren't that far away... I might jump over coz I wanted to read your works anyway. By the way Aussi cats are just as bad mate! Take care.... hide your boots lol.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Before I started to read this purrrrrfect hub I plopped my felines on either side of my shoulder and instructed them to watch carefully and be warned that if they misbehaved that they would have to suffer the same fate as those drenched pussy's did in your illustrations. I heard them meow once or twice of disapproval and when I moused down your hub they let out a wicked meowwwwww. I never ever wash my pussy's they would scratch me to threads, so why bother. Felines have juices in their tongues that work perfectly on their fur to give it shine and clean off any lose fluff that may be there. I loved this rendition of what NOT TO DO to your feline, instead simply let them run and control us the owners as per usual. Great Hub, I rate it UPPPP for sure.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 6 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Saddlerider, Thank you for taking the time to read this work and to leave a comment. I would have to question the decision to share this with your cats present; especially given the worrying news about the remote control..... or have they??? As mentioned here previously, I personally can not take full credit for this and could not have completed it withot Tom the Cat, my roaming reporter. Take care and don't be programmed.


Alexandr 3 years ago


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 3 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Thanks for that Alexandr :)

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