Is it Fair to Force Religion on an Individual Right After Birth?

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  1. VendettaVixen profile image68
    VendettaVixenposted 12 years ago

    A child is baptised, receives first communion, and is confirmed before they even fully understand what religion is, and what consequences it will have on their life.

    Would it be better to wait until a person is... say sixteen or eighteen years old, then asking them which religion they'd like to be accepted into?

    I just think it's a very personal decision and don't entirely agree that parents should decide for their kids.

    What do you think?

    1. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Although I'm not Catholic or of any denomination that regularly advocates baptizing newborns, I see nothing wrong with it when used as a statement of parents' desire to devote their children to God.

      Us Protestants believe that the actual baptism comes after a child is old enough to consciously accept Christ as their Savior, and it's a symbolic gesture of that.

      At any rate, no, parents should not wait til their kids are young adults and then present the choice to them in such a manner as you seem to indicate.  They should train up their child in the ways of the Lord from day 1 as the Bible says.  Because, with Christians, it's not a matter of them accepting Faith as a "religion"; it's a matter of their souls being saved.

      1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
        MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        I didn't raise my son as a Christian Brenda.  Does that mean he went to hell when he died?

        1. profile image0
          Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I'm not qualified to answer that.  That's a matter between him and God.
          What I do believe is that God reveals Himself to all people before they die and gives them a chance to accept Him.  What happens between a person and God before they die is, like I said, sometimes only between those two.

          The fact that you didn't sound the warning as the Bible commands us to is also between you and God.  There's a Scripture that speaks about it, but you probably already know of it if you've read the Bible.

          I do know something else---God is a God of forgiveness to a truly repentant heart.  If I didn't believe that, it would be useless for me to even claim the Faith.  Because all humans are fallible.  The Lord is our only saving grace.

          1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
            MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            I'm curious... and not being at all aggressive or sarcastic here...

            Do you think God would rather have people believe in him because they never knew anything else or because they weighed all the options and chose to have faith?

            For me personally, I take the free will thing pretty seriously.  You can not have free will as an adult if you've been brain-washed as a child.  And knowledge... of any sort... comes only after understanding. If a child cannot understand then they can't truly believe.  They can only do what they are told.  I didn't have children to turn them into robots.

            1. profile image0
              Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

              I don't think God has a "rather" on that.  It only matters that they do reach the point of belief.  The first scenario seems easier and simpler but it really isn't.  It's often harder for a "good" person to see their need for a Savior than it is for a person who's raised in rebellion.   And yet the latter scenario is difficult because there's the danger of being presented with too many "options".

              The brainwashing idea is mostly an excuse, I believe.  Free will is stronger than brainwashing attempts.  I say that because I've seen families where each child was raised the same way on the Word of God; yet some of the children ended up choosing to not believe, some of them becoming avowed atheists.  I suppose somewhere along the line there was an outside influence that embellished upon that choice, but the choice was already given to us all by God.  He doesn't pull any punches in His Word.  That's what free will is.
              I've also seen children whose parents never taught them the Word of God, yet those children accepted Christ's salvation.  I believe that even in religions like Islam and Hinduism, one's conscience gives people a choice.  That doesn't negate the responsibility of the parents or teachers who try to indoctrinate the children.  It's just that I believe the Holy Spirit will at some point give them the opportunity to make a choice.  When Jesus said He would draw all men to Him, I take Him at His word.  Where we fail, He succeeds.  It doesn't negate our responsibility to spread the Word; that's on our heads if we refuse or omit our duties.  It simply means I believe Him when He said He would draw all men to Him.

              1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
                MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Is it possible that being raised in a religious household is actually the reason those children who became atheists?  Many people resent the beliefs of others being pushed upon them and choose to do the opposite.

                I don't believe there is such a thing as too many options.   Nor do I believe that "good" people have a difficult time finding religion... (actually, I find that thought depressing... as it means that the only people with faith are those who are "bad" by nature)

                And, with all due respect (because I promised this would be civil) the brainwashing thing is not an excuse.  It is a deeply held conviction that all people should be free to worship how they see fit.  I believe it for the world in general, but doubly for my children.  You can't force anyone into a faith at gunpoint and I certainly don't want to abuse my authority as a parent to try and do the same thing.

                1. profile image0
                  Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  No. I don't believe that for a second.  What I believe is that Satan tried harder to tempt them because they were being raised up for God.  And it worked for a time.   The parents were given the promise that if they raised them up the way they should, when those children are old they won't depart from their teachings.  That lets me believe that there's hope still.  God's Word never returns void.  Even if those children's free will allows them to choose against Christ, the teaching of the parents will serve a good purpose somewhere.


                  Thank you Melissa for engaging in a civil conversation with me.

                  1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
                    MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                    I'm gonna go one step further, Brenda.  I'm gonna quote scripture.

                    Now we understand and agree that you and I are coming from two different religious denominations.  From the place and beliefs of my faith in general, the verse (I assume we are talking about Proverbs 22:6) means something different to me.  I'm assuming the KJV is acceptable.

                    "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

                    Well, since free will is very important in my faith as is coming to your faith freely and without coercion.  I am actually following the scripture by allowing my kids the freedom to choose without outside interference.

                    (So I guess in some ways I probably am teaching my kids that part of my faith without intending to.)  I understand that a tenant of your faith is to spread the word... with my faith not so much (We are encouraged to answer questions if asked -how we define witnessing-).  So I guess that's the difference in overall outlooks.

        2. wilderness profile image93
          wildernessposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Yes.  Without proper indoctrination and belief that is what will happen., just as it happened to the thousands of Egyptian children and infants that God murdered for the sins of their parent's political leaders.

          Or you could become Mormon and baptise him into heaven after his death.

          (I mean no offense to you, Melissa, and am sorry to hear that you have lost a child sometime in the past)

          1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
            MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            No offense taken.

            You would not believe the things I heard at his funeral from "caring" Christians.  If I would have had the presence of mind to strangle them, there would have been no jury in the world that would have convicted me.

            It's actually one of the reasons I bear such animosity against the "preaching" Christians.  I actually felt worse for my then estranged husband who was a devout atheist.  The "come to Jesus so that you can see him again" line was about the most insensitive and cruel mind-f*** that I had ever heard in my life.  I actually pulled the pastor who was doing the service aside and told her if she made ONE attempt at conversion during the eulogy or uttered the words "he's in a better place" I would happily beat her to death.  For my ex-husband that was basically saying "Being nowhere is better than being alive".

            I dislike my Ex... Intensely... but no grieving parent should have to deal with that.

            1. wilderness profile image93
              wildernessposted 12 years agoin reply to this

              I understand completely.  I have not gone through that garbage with my child, but have heard it at other funerals for people I loved.

              The only excuse I could ever come up with was that it was kind and thoughtful for the believers in the crowd that had suffered the same loss as I had.  Rationalizing it maybe, but it kept me from walking out.

    2. Dave Mathews profile image62
      Dave Mathewsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You are discussing Roman Catholic practices here. This is the practice of the Catholic. I agree that it is wrong for the parents to force their beliefs upon an innocent baby like that, BUT, it is done more for the parents to be perceived as good Catholic Parents than for how the child is to be perceived.

      I was raised and brought up a Catholic, and it was not until my confirmation that I actually started to read the Holy Bible and learn just how wrong it was to have been treated that way. By then though it was a little late for the damage had been done.

      Since then though as I have grown in "Christianity" I have openly spoken against such practices both to priests and to fellow parishoners, and I remain in association with the church to try and correct that from within.

    3. livelonger profile image86
      livelongerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I was baptized and received first communion, and neither had any meaningful, lasting effect on me. I don't think any of those religious-cultural rituals do.

      The only danger is the sort of fire-and-brimstone scaremongering that some extreme religions use to instill emotional obedience. Fortunately, my parents did not bring me up with that nonsense (which is really a form of emotional abuse).

      Whether any of us like to think so or not, any parental effort to instill religious beliefs are not necessarily permanent, especially if they run counter to the values that the child has herself.

    4. Philanthropy2012 profile image82
      Philanthropy2012posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Of course it's not fair, but look at it from the perspective of the church or Islamic state: "how else will we get people believing in it without conjuring up proof?"

    5. profile image0
      Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      **********************

      I think a parent should show their religion to their child by living it. When it comes down to it the child should choose their own religion because being forced can make them insincere. What good is that?

    6. prettydarkhorse profile image62
      prettydarkhorseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think that it is ideal if that is the case, wait for them to have their own decisions. But in reality, the parents are the caretaker of their children (assigned by the society) and it is in the home where we are first socialized. It is in some ways advantageous if the family are one in activities. The parents values are transferred to the children and it works that way. As they grow older when they go outside their homes, school and community, they widen their horizon and they can see better and decide for themselves. That what happens to me, my parents are strict Catholics.

    7. AnnaCia profile image78
      AnnaCiaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I do not think that by baptizing, doing the first communion and confirmation are negative in any way.  These steps are taken when children are under the guidance of their parents.  It is true that there are parents or catechists who do not understand the meaning and put their children thru these events just to follow a tradition in their family.  In may case, I went thru every one of these events, but I learned why.  My parents always told me that later one in life I could follow any religion, but that their responsibility as parents was to guide me.  I am thankful they did that.

    8. buckleupdorothy profile image69
      buckleupdorothyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well, if your family is a part of that community, it wouldn't be fun to be excluded because you aren't old enough to make your own decision. I think it's great to include children in any community their family is a part of, and  if the child thinks differently when she's older there's no reason she needs to be bound by her parents' decisions. People participate in religious communities on so many different levels and in so many different ways that it's just as easy to condemn parents for making their kids wait until they can make up their own mind as it is to condemn them for forcing their own religious beliefs on their impressionable offspring. I suppose you really have to see what's going to work for the child in question and let them change their minds or adjust their opinions as often as it occurs to them to do so.

  2. WD Curry 111 profile image58
    WD Curry 111posted 12 years ago

    Personally, I believe that each person has to accept or reject faith on their own. Sometimes this is a confusing process. Parents can only teach what they know. They should be respected for doing just that. Parents should remember to give their children room to hear or draw a blank on their own.

    If you are a devout person of faith, then you won't let your remorse over a wayward loved one ruin dinner.

    Atheists. Why worry. If it isn't real, it can't hurt you.

    1. Eric Newland profile image59
      Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly. Part of religious freedom included the right to raise your child as you see fit. Eventually everyone either makes their parents' faith their own or rejects it. Even the Amish understand that; they made it an official part of their adulthood initiation.

      1. Philanthropy2012 profile image82
        Philanthropy2012posted 12 years agoin reply to this

        So would it be just to teach my children that murdering your enemy is okay from a young age, on the premise that it is my right of religious freedom to do so?

        Then we wait for him to decide whether it is morally appropriate or not? Children trust their authority figures, ingraining ideas into their head will mean just that.

        Why is it only when one hears the extreme of what they are saying, that they realise the consequences.

        To teach a child that which is wrong from a young age has no relevance to freedom.

        1. profile image0
          Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Since you can't definitively say that anyone is wrong on a spiritual level, your assertion is a little flat. Attempting to throw out extreme and bizarre examples doesn't add weight to your argument.

          1. Philanthropy2012 profile image82
            Philanthropy2012posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Pardon?
            "Part of religious freedom included the right to raise your child as you see fit"

            Who are you to tell me that my examples are extreme or bizarre? YOU just said that "you can't definitively say that anyone is wrong on a spiritual level".

            I think you've been a little religiously insensitive there Emile R, you have just offended my family's religion and their lineage up to the first man. I urge you to apologise!

            These are examples of my life, who are you to label them things.

            Drawing a line on what is "extreme" and "bizarre" is exactly what you said cannot be done. Which was precisely my point. It is your argument that falls flat. Think it through.

            1. profile image0
              Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

              lol

              I've insulted your family? Ok. So you come from an extreme and bizarre family. Then, wouldn't it follow that you insulted your family first?  Or was your bizarre and extreme example not offered as a reason why people should not be allowed to raise their children with their own values?

              My point doesn't fall flat, except to someone so emotionally opposed to religious freedom that they find it difficult to think straight. smile

              1. Philanthropy2012 profile image82
                Philanthropy2012posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Extreme is the word I used, BIZARRE is frankly offensive Mrs R!

                Your point falls completely flat because "religious freedom" has no restraints. It can be anything, it is subjective.

                By your logic, no one can say anything about anything as long as they pretend it's part of their "religious freedom"

                Ridiculous. lol

                1. profile image0
                  Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  We have laws. We all must abide by them. Anything that falls within the limits of these laws is legal, no matter how much allowing others the same freedoms you probably demand might offend your delicate sensibilities. smile

                  1. Philanthropy2012 profile image82
                    Philanthropy2012posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                    Pahaha, laws are fickle, in some countries, you are not allowed the vote. Beating your wife is acceptable, stoning to death is acceptable.

                    Argument from law, is flawed smile

                    What you mean to say is morality. We should abide by morality, and not pseudo powers from above wink

  3. BLACKANDGOLDJACK profile image73
    BLACKANDGOLDJACKposted 12 years ago

    Of course a newborn has no clue what's going on during baptism Pope style, other than they don't like being sprinkled with water when they are taking a snooze.

    Atheists should be so easy to wake up.

  4. MelissaBarrett profile image59
    MelissaBarrettposted 12 years ago

    I do my very best to not expose my children to ANY religion until they are old enough to decide what is right for them.  It's remarkably difficult to avoid it, but I do what I can.

    1. WD Curry 111 profile image58
      WD Curry 111posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Sure! You are teaching your children all you know . . . nothing.

      1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
        MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        *Smiles* I would rather teach my children that I know nothing then teach them opinions as facts.  One sends them seeking for answers themselves... the other leads them to believe they have knowledge that they don't.

        So... do you have kids and what are YOU teaching them?

        1. WD Curry 111 profile image58
          WD Curry 111posted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I'm teaching them how to keep their steel pots clean.

          1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
            MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            That's good... because if you impart all of your knowledge too them they MIGHT be able to get jobs as dishwashers.

            1. WD Curry 111 profile image58
              WD Curry 111posted 12 years agoin reply to this

              Or trolls on HubPages.

              1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
                MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Yes, I could see that career for your children as well.  Assuming you stopped teaching them religion long enough to teach them how to read and write.

                1. WD Curry 111 profile image58
                  WD Curry 111posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Give it up. You can't hang. Never start a fight with a stranger.

                                     http://s1.hubimg.com/u/5987032_f260.jpg

                  Here's a picture of one of my daughters. She just won some national competition for fitness models. I taught her to eat right and get plenty of exercise.

                  The worst thing about being raised by me? You end up with the impression that men can be trusted. Was your father in the same class?

                  1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
                    MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                    Actually, my dad is a retired Sergeant First Class from the U.S. Army. I am his only child and the only girl (and youngest child)in my family. He and my flock of male cousins (mostly military/police backgrounds) taught me that the men in my life better damn well be trusted or they weren't likely to be untrustworthy for long.

                    Nice stab in the dark, but I am and always have been a daddy's girl.

                    Sorry, being attracted to women doesn't mean that I am a man hater.  I LOVE men.

      2. Philanthropy2012 profile image82
        Philanthropy2012posted 12 years agoin reply to this

        WD Curry, and as far as religion and our creation is concerned, we certainly all do know nothing! Unless of course you've cracked the code and haven't shared?

        Selfishness is frowned upon Mr Curry!

  5. extended-stay profile image60
    extended-stayposted 12 years ago

    In my own point of view, faith is very far from religion. Religion, this is composed of imposed things. Let's say the church would want us not make a sin by stealing, to prove that you are a part of a religion, you would follow it. There are many instances when people do a thing just because that is what his religion dictates him to do. If you only do something unwillingly, then that is not faith and I think that is a misconception in religion. Not all people who follow their religion are faithful. I firmly believe that religion is a choice. I know so many people who do not have any religion at all but it does not make them lesser people. On the other hand, so many people appear to be so devoted in their religion but they keep on doing bad things. Worse is, they sometimes make their religion as a cover up to do bad. If ever I will have children someday, I would let my children understand religion first and I would let them decide on their own. This is a choice. This should never be enforced since it would underestimate the understanding of a human mind.

  6. powered2020 profile image61
    powered2020posted 12 years ago

    Its natural for a child to adopt whatever beliefs their parents hold, be they religious or non religious. All children are indoctrinated by their parents and their environment into thinking a certain way.

    Organized religion with a doctrine is easy to attack by others who do not believe the same, however not believing in a God etc is still a belief system too.

    1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
      MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No, not all children  are indoctrinated by their parents to believe one way or another.  I have my faith but only one of my kids (now an adult) could tell you anything about my religious beliefs.

      Not believing in God is not a belief system.  The idea of God, in my experience, is only brought about by exposure to another with the idea.  There is no belief system.  Just a slate left blank until they are old enough to choose what to write on it.

      1. powered2020 profile image61
        powered2020posted 12 years agoin reply to this

        When I refer to indoctrination, I simply mean the way that children are taught values, beliefs, culture etc from their parents - not necessarily something consciously engineered.

        And your perspective on religion is a belief system whether you recognise that or not. The idea that you are providing you children with a blank slate is not very realistic, unless you actually raised them in a lab or something.

        1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
          MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Well, two of my children have chosen a faith and neither of them chose mine.  Their religion fits their personality and they are confident in their beliefs... so -so far- my little experiment seems to be working.

        2. wilderness profile image93
          wildernessposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          What, then, is the "belief system" of the agnostic?  The religious believes in God, the atheist believes there is no God, but what is the belief of the agnostic?  What "system" does (s)he adhere to?

          1. powered2020 profile image61
            powered2020posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            But both believe, do they not? Believing in nothing is still belief. Defining oneself as an agnostic requires a person to hold a certain philosophical perspective on life's experiences which can be described as a belief system. I think you may be under the impression that belief is synonymous with faith or religion?

            1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
              MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

              I'm not sure "I don't know" can be defined as a belief system.

              1. powered2020 profile image61
                powered2020posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Perhaps you may like to research agnosticism some time as it's a little more than "I don't know".

                1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
                  MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  We're you intentionally trying to be condescending?  If you were please let me know as I can then be appropriately ironic.

                  But let's- just for a second- pretend that you somehow have knowledge that I don't.  It's a stretch, but I'll work at it.

                  So would a child raised without exposure to any religion (or atheism) be agnostic?  If so, how would they have those "life experiences" to form that "philosophy".  They couldn't be considered any religion, they couldn't be considered atheistic...and according to you (oh wise one) they couldn't be agnostic either.

                  So, since (also according to you) everyone has a religious belief system... then how would theirs be defined?  I await your wisdom with baited breath.

                  1. powered2020 profile image61
                    powered2020posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                    Apologies if I offended you. I only mentioned agnostic in reference to the post by 'wilderness', and was referring to a person who has consciously taken that philosophical position - not a person (or child) who is simply non-religious.  And I never said that everyone has a religious belief system, just a belief system. You're pretty good at condescension too you know:)

  7. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

    ...in response to the title of the post - how about after they die?...i had a flippin' idjut of a friend...(i've forgiven him)..say to me that he hoped my husband accepted god before he died.....arggggghhhh!!!....but, for some flippin' reason, i managed to get past his strong over the top christian beliefs at a very, very difficult time...he's flippin' lucky!...i'm gonna see him in a week or so...he better not say anymore crap...or i'll have fightin' words for him!  Michael had his beliefs, but...they just weren't over the top kind of beliefs...or the right ones...whateva!!!!!!  i can't believe how patient i can be with people....but, you only get one chance to mess up with me!....when you are a very good friend.

    1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
      MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      There should be some kind of pamphlet available when you enter funeral homes... something like "Funeral etiquette for idiots" or "How not to put your life in jeopardy at the hands of a grieving loved one" or even "Shut up and offer a damn casserole."

      1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
        SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        lol...yup...i think you are onto something there MB!...i just don't get it....people are people...and some say the stupidest things at the wrong times...however good friends should know flippin' better!...he gave me a flippin' book on some of his very strong beliefs too...i recycled it!  FO! i said to myself....still i'm patient...what's wrong with me?...too many years of being good friends i guess...he went through a divorce and became 'hard core' in his beliefs..funny, he didn't have any when he was married.....i get what happened to him.....but.....leave me alone....however, .he better be on his best behaviour when i see him...big_smile

  8. profile image0
    erickcbposted 12 years ago

    I was raised to be Christian. I went along with it for awhile. then I started hating church as I got older. people forcing me into something never worked. I ended up becoming atheist. then I got into philosophy and now I believe in a different higher being than most people and don't follow anyone. my connection to my God is intensely personal and that is enough for me. my deepest question is if I had never been given the idea in the first place of a God or Creator, what would I believe? say if I was stuck on an island somewhere since birth. I think If someone could do it we would get a better idea of if religion and spirituality come naturally.. just my two cents worth.

  9. pisean282311 profile image62
    pisean282311posted 12 years ago

    obviously not

  10. roxanne459 profile image80
    roxanne459posted 12 years ago

    First, thank you for composing this forum!
    I have always wanted my children to grow into free thinking, independant, strong people. When my oldest daughter was very young, I spent more than a year exploring different religions and going to as many different worship places that I could. I learned a lot! All of my children have come to me with questions about religion begining about the age of 6 and I teach them about all the different beliefs I know. This is a continued learning proccess for me because you really never know everything about even one religion much less many. It's totally worth it for me though. This topic is very common at my house and I feel that it will give my children the benefit of making an informed decision so they will know that they have found the best fit for them. I don't want to raise sheep who blindly follow anything or anyone because of fear.

    1. VendettaVixen profile image68
      VendettaVixenposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You're welcome.
      That seems like an excellent idea. I'm sure your kids really appreciate you letting them follow their own religious paths in life.

  11. profile image0
    Emile Rposted 12 years ago

    Inasmuch as some deem it dangerous to instill children with their values, it might be safe to abdicate your parental responsibilities and let the little tikes come to their own conclusions. Some great examples of how that turns out can be found here. 

    http://www.smashinglists.com/10-feral-h … y-animals/

    1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
      MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      *grins* there's a slight difference between forgoing religious training and letting your children go feral.

      1. profile image0
        Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Well, I think you and I know that. Some of these others have me worried. I think they would prefer feral children to well mannered little angels who have the shame of being raised by parents that teach them a prayer to say at bed time.

        1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
          MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Well, it's a closer decision than you would think... but I guess I'd go with the indoctrinated children.  I still think it's a mild form of abuse (sometimes actually quite severe depending on the circumstance) but that's just my opinion... (and the opinion of the occasional FBI agent that has to raid a compound)

          1. profile image0
            Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Well, we need to put the conversation into perspective. You are talking about fringe groups within religion and; it sounds like specifically Christians. What percentage of people who profess Christianity fall into that group?

            If we agree that this small percentage is raising children barely more able to cope in the real world than the one we found with a family of goats, then we open a hell of a can of worms. There are so many people raising children outside of the bounds of what we consider the'correct' way to raise them....should we pass laws? Confiscate the poor little brats before they are forever ruined?

            It's a ridiculous conversation. Parents have rights and responsibilities. They raise kids the best they can and when the kid grows up they can step back and reevaluate.  No one has.the right to tell a parent the right way to raise their kids as long as it is done within the limits of the law.

            1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
              MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

              Calm Emile...

              I raise my kids the way I choose to... everyone else gets to do the same.  I have opinions on why I wouldn't do it their way and I'll discuss them but-in the end-it falls on the parent to choose how to screw up their children.

              And, to me, there is absolutely no ethical differce between Christianity, Islam, Satanism etc for the purposes of this conversation.

              1. profile image0
                Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                And that is the point to remember. We all screw our kids up to a degree. I'm not going to get on a high horse and complain about the  average religious person when it comes to raising kids.

                1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
                  MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  *smiles* but you will discuss it openly and honestly, giving reasons for your opinions?  And if someone finds your honest opinions to be offensive you will not give one gram of a fudge... right?

                  1. profile image0
                    Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                    I love fudge. You made me lose my train of thought for a minute there.

                    Yes, I love the discussion. I simply hate it when the left side starts sounding as rigid as the right and obviously have no problem speaking out about it. I actually respect your approach to child rearing. I'll be honest, when my son was little I didn't put much thought into it. If he asked a question, I answered it. If a friend invited him to church, even the crazy ones, I let him go. I don't fear religion because one should follow their heart. Had his led him there, I would have been cool with it.

              2. WD Curry 111 profile image58
                WD Curry 111posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Congratulations, that is one of the top three most ignorant statements I have ever heard on a forum.

                The other two:    "We don't breathe air to live."

                                            "You can't prove that you exist."

                1. MelissaBarrett profile image59
                  MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Then please do enlighten me on the ethical distinctions within the scope of the current debate.

                  1. WD Curry 111 profile image58
                    WD Curry 111posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                    Like I said, it was ignorant.

            2. Philanthropy2012 profile image82
              Philanthropy2012posted 12 years agoin reply to this

              Ah hah, it needs to be within the limits of morality, not the law, and certainly not religion. That requires free through, unbiased creative thinking, and logic.

              Not selfish moronic blind guesses.

              1. profile image0
                Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                What are laws, but a loose fence that extends beyond the boundary of our moral values? A fence that allows us all the freedom to follow our own paths in a semi controlled environment so we can hopefully live our life in peace.

                I hate to tell you this slick....but a person with no morals by your standards can survive in our country well if they conduct themselves within the limits of the law. It's one of the downsides for those who think the pony they ride is a high horse.

                1. Philanthropy2012 profile image82
                  Philanthropy2012posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  It is both foolish and self-centred to assume that it is always about your country that I'm talking about.

                  The law does well in 'our country', but there are 195 other countries out there in the world, each with their own flawed legal system.

                  It is pathetic to tell the people of those countries that they should abide blindly by the law and tell them what they're doing is okay smile

                  Merry stoning everyone!

                  1. profile image0
                    Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                    Yes. Judging from the illogical train of thought in your posts preceding this one, I can see why you might think telling people to mind their own business is stoning. Since you have admitted to being an American, perhaps it would be best to ensure that your opinions would actually be useful if acted upon in your own country. If they are foolish here, imagine how foolish they would be perceived in societies you don't understand. Or, do you think you have the right to complain about the way others outside of this nation conduct their business? Hilary? Is that you?

  12. profile image0
    brotheryochananposted 12 years ago

    age of understanding is important.
    There is a difference between doctrine and christian lifestyle.
    Parents should be an example of godly lifestyle, purporting good godly principles, like honesty and fairness, love etc.

    But when it comes to teaching their child about God coming in the flesh and being crucified for their atonement of sin. This is just not right. The child is to young to understand any of that. Sure its correct doctrine, but what is doctrine to a 6 yr old?

    Let them be children. Teach them correctly godly ways but leave out the heavy stuff for when they are older. By seeing your christian example of godly lifestyle they will inquire themselves into your beliefs and this is proper.

    Taking a young child to church when they are nursing or prone to crying is unnecessary - get a sitter. Focus on church and time with each other (husband, wife) without distraction.

    Enrolling an older child in sunday school with all their talk of satan is, to me, inappropriate, even if i did believe in a literal fallen angel named satan. But this is heavy stuff that children should not be bothered with.

    Teach them at home when they naturally inquire but live the Way that they may see and be intrigued.

    As they get older bring them into the doctrines gently - don't try to fear them up with catholic hell ideas.

    you can't force people to be christian, even offspring. IF they want nothing to do with it then just love them. They may return to it later in life.

    1. WD Curry 111 profile image58
      WD Curry 111posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hey, I'm with you. Crying babies are like the will of the Lord. They should be carried out

  13. vector7 profile image60
    vector7posted 12 years ago

    First, humility and boldness established here. I'm not being pushy, but I am certainly not budging under any condition as my wisdom is based on the knowledge of my Lord Jesus Christ the Rock upon which I stand and build my house on.

    Fair? Force on the child? Is the fact of the adult leading the child in the first place because the adult knows best all but lost here?

    Well said it was that if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.

    I know Jesus Christ lives and has saved my soul from Hell, whether anyone here likes it or not has no issue, for it is my child, and I love that child more than any of you will.. Shoot - I love all of you even if I don't like your choices, I still love you.

    And you think because someone else we Christians call 'blind', and for a reason at that, doesn't like religion or Jesus or God or can't believe.. that I'm not not going to instruct my child to be righteous, do good, and follow the untouchable doctrine of my Lord and God Christ Jesus?

    No, I'm sorry for anyone willing to bow to an idol of self, tv, a man named buddha, or anything else they put before Christ.. I won't follow, and so long as my child requires my services to live He will revere God almighty as God deserves. Call me whatever you want.

    That doesn't change people's option to choose anyway you nuts.. lol If you were raised in a church that's Christian you'd know they will choose on their own in the end anyway. They all leave the church [well most..] around teenage age anyway because they have 'freedom'.. But the fact is I came to God because I need Him. And so does everyone else whether they believe in Him or not.

    If you build a lamp, forge a light bulb and then set it in the house.. It's USELESS without sustenance.. Sustenance that we call electricity.. Which is energy - extracted from God's universe might I add.

    The life you have relies on death of another living being every day, like it or not a sacrifice must be made to sustain your body and life.. Plant or animal - SOMETHING will DIE for YOU to LIVE... End of story. God is the giver of life, and it is Him that sustains all of us, with or without admission from the partaker of the energy from that dead being.

    God sustains me, and my child, and deserves credit and reverance.. And I won't desert my Father in Heaven no matter what anyone else believes. I have life in Christ, and the sacrifices you eat every day are just temorary and imperfect at that meaning you will still ultimately die.. Christ gave the perfect sacrifice, and eternal life - not temporary.

    These are things my child WILL KNOW.. And if he ends up rejecting Christ I will still love Him. But I will not push him towards Hell and tell him atheists are right.

    No.. I KNOW what I know. They have theories they cling to for their satisfaction..

    Call me whatever you want, my children will understand good, and be punished for doing evil. They will not be casting harry potter spells, or cooking frogs to speak to spirits.

    You can call someone else a hypocrite, but forget calling me one. I know my God is real, my Lord and King Christ Jesus lives and because He lives I will never die.

    You will see my dead body, and I will be looking at you while I'm going to be with Christ.

    And my children will know the truth, because they may all hate me and my Lord Christ and His teachings. I for one will not change or do against God's will because human beings don't believe in Him anymore.

    Peace and love from the Father above,

    -v7

  14. wilmiers77 profile image60
    wilmiers77posted 12 years ago

    Good start!  If not rich, living in an up scale neighborhood, attending a sheltered and monitored school, than the kid is living in a high risk territory; exposed to drugs galore. A faith helps to resist pier pressure, and if necessary, kick the habit. Most all drug recovery centers apply the concept of a higher power.

    What does it hurt to chrism or baptist an infant. Person's believing that religion is going to hurt a child's mind is misinformed or badly mistaken. Btw, tell me some of the consequences that it shall have on their lives?

  15. Druid Dude profile image59
    Druid Dudeposted 12 years ago

    I think it best to start the brainwashing earlier than birth, so we propped a P.A. system up near my wife's belly during pregnancy. Dinged if the lil bugger didn't come out singin' "God Bless America"!!!smile

    1. profile image0
      Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      lol

  16. LailaK profile image70
    LailaKposted 12 years ago

    I think that I see everyone's points of view and I have to admit its a very hard question. I am from a very religious family myself and yes I guess my religion was pre-determined for me. However, I think that religion is important in a child's life because most kids like to have certain rituals and routines; so I dont think that there is anything wrong with that. But I believe that parents should allow their kids to explore other religions and not interfere with what religions their child's friends follow. I mean like I said, I am from a very religious family, however my parents do not mind me having friends from faiths other than mine. I started reading the bible and talking to an acknowledged bible expert about certain verses and my parents didn't even mind. My brother went and met a priest at a church to learn more about Christianity and its denominations and still my parents didn't mind. So I think that flexibility is key here. Religion, no matter what kind, is beautiful. And knowing more about it makes it even more beautiful. Yes, I dont see anything wrong with pre-determining a child's religious beliefs, but its certainly wrong to force the kid into their own bubble of religion and not allow them to explore other faiths. Also, if the child wants to convert to another religion, parents should discuss the decision with their child and let them take it. I hope that I made myself clear.

 
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