My Urge for Sex Is Dead For Her

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   Hurbermichaelposted 12 years ago

   I got someone whom I love so much, she used to drive me crazy but nowadays things are changing. I am not unfaithful, I do not want to get another girlfriend but I no longer get sexually appeal to her. We have tried doing new things and variations but no way! I have even gone for counseling. It hurts for me to say this but it is real. Sometimes I have to replay am with someone else… Don’t judge me. Help!

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ....oooohhhh...that's a tough one to deal with...maybe a different sex therapist will help....i don't have any answers

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         SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         here's the problem ......i just noticed the other thread 
         
         "My ex-girlfriend wants to have sex with me badly. She is in a relationship but she says she does not mind. I am temped to give in because she said she is not after a relationship but just a moment. I am confused."

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      Daniella Lopezposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It could be a chemical issue. You might be suffering from a chemical imbalance that is causing you to feel this a way. Or perhaps she is different. Does she not take as good of care of herself as she used to? If so, perhaps you should try taking her out more or doing more things with her. This will encourage her to keep up with her looks and appearance better.

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         Hurbermichaelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         No she has not changed at all, she is am amazing lady. I guess the problem might be me. Thanks Daniella for your insightful thoughts

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            JenJen0703posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Low testosterone, maybe?  I have hear that men can have that problem when they get older.  Might be worth asking the doctor about.

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      wonderful1posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It sounds like a rebound type of relationship you are in. You shouldn't play with someone's emotions by stringing them along if you still have feelings for someone else. I've been in that place more than once, and the guys who broke my heart were so remorseful. Don't punish yourself that way, or let someone get hurt unnecessarily. It will haunt you, trust me.
      
      Take time off from relationships to reflect, figure out why you can't move on. See a therapist if you have to. There are ways to empower yourself so that you're not stuck in limbo-land wishing something would happen when it's not meant to be.
      
      On a positive note, it's honorable that you have such deep feelings for someone. That is a gift. Save it for someone who will notice it, and cherish you for it. Good luck.

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         Hurbermichaelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks so much. You make a lot of sense Wonderful1. I truly jumped to a relationship after a breakup. This lady has been so amazing to me but my body does not seem to work the magic.

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            couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Is this you in the avatar?  You look like a goodlooking guy.  Often, goodlooking people have an easier time getting into bed with the opposite sex.  Maybe you should get to know someone reeeeeaaaaalllly well before hooking up.  It messes with everyone's mind when there is no real trust and history between two people.

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      galleryofgraceposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You were never in Love you were in lust -now the lust is gone!

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         Hurbermichaelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Hurting truth, I must say

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      V Qisyaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think that's love. I guess it's just companionship. You just needed someone to talk to especially when you're down.
      
      The person could be the most wonderful, the most beautiful but if your heart says NO, then no one can stop. Lie not to your own self or anyone. It'll hurt you more each day.
      
      Give yourself a break. It's better to cry now rather than suffer later on.
      
      Living with someone whom you don't truly love ? Nope, I don't think so ;D
      
      True love comes from the heart...words and actions.
      
      Good luck

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   Cardisaposted 12 years ago

   Maybe you are still in love with the EX?!

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      Hurbermichaelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      We just separated because she was insecure. We did not hate each other though I made a choice not to go back to my ex

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         couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Remember this about (most) women if you remember nothing else.  Women don't separate sex and love the way men do.  So if you have sex with a woman before there is history and trust, before she gets to know the real you and trusts you, she will be insecure about you leaving.

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   TLMinutposted 12 years ago

   Or just tempted. Your mind can't handle the unfaithful for no reason part but if "it's just not working", you can be with your ex, think that's somehow renewed your sex drive and that it "turned out to be a good thing". Minds are devious and the body likes to follow along.

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      Hurbermichaelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      So do i see a sex therapists or what do i do. The mind is devious but deep emotions which are beyond our control come from it.

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   vcoburnposted 12 years ago

   I would never judge you. What have you tried? Are you attracted to other women?  When your having sex what are you thinking about?

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      Hurbermichaelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I have been in two relationships before, sometimes I think about those women. I am human

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   Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

   have you tried subtle spanking in a affirmative, no-threatening way?

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      Hurbermichaelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, that is great. I like it

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         couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Greek One meant have you tried spanking him.  If you like that then - problem solved.

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   calpol25posted 12 years ago

   Maybe some time away from each other would be a good idea, you need to get intouch with yourself and try to understand yourself, something inside your subconcious is bothering you, but some time to yourself to reflect and meditate might help you confront wht ever it is inside that your not wanting to confront. Just a thought hope it helps

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      Hurbermichaelposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      What you are saying makes a lot of sense. I am planning to go for a holiday from 15 December to Chrismas day alone.

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         calpol25posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Its a good idea and will help you to reach inside yourself and sort things out. I hope it goes well and I hope you get the answers you need.

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   Hurbermichaelposted 12 years ago

   I will try next time.

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   lyndseydnormandposted 12 years ago

   Sex is has to be your common ground and anyone who tells you its not important has a boring sex life, just like you. Passion can overcome any obstacle, its time to shop around, find someone who lights your fire. Just to kiss someone and feel the heat coming off the others body, the sweeping glance, the slow soft touch of someone your passionate for can END WARS. Hey but I am single and loving it!

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   LeanManposted 12 years ago

   There could be a lot of advice out there to help you "getloveforever", or just "true love"..

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    wixorposted 12 years ago

    It sounds like you no longer "sexually appeal to her."
    
    You need to look yourself in the mirror and discover the reason why she is not attracted to you anymore.

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