Do you know how to forgive? Can you forget?

1. 60

   anancelesteposted 12 years ago

   Do you know how to forgive? Can you forget?
   
   It's rather easy to say I forgive you,but is it always so?
   
   

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2. 61

   Pollyannalanaposted 12 years ago

   We have to forgive for our own selves and peace of mind. Forgetting is a bit harder and  I am not sure even a good idea. Of course you cannot dwell on the offense or forgiveness would be impossible but why get bit twice?

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3. 72

   donnaisabellaposted 12 years ago

   I thought I was a very forgiving person until husband-wife issues drove me to the edge where I realized how unforgiving I would love to be! It was when standing on that precipice and driving at pure un-forgiveness that God reached into my heart with the scripture that says we are to forgive our brothers 70x7. It was not a new scripture to me but God helped me understand that day that actually when we forgive we are saying that we are forgetting what the other person did and moving on to treat them like they never did it. I gave myself to be taught by God and without having to say too much, it was a miracle that has happened in my life that I look forward to teaching about soon someday! When I forgive, I forget and I do not let the subject remain in me. I have learned profound life changing lessons.

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4. 60

   Tmonicaposted 12 years ago

   I can say I have learned how to forgive but that did take me awhile, I think some people can forgive easier then others. It is a lot harder to forget things that may have hurt you in some way.

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5. 59

   Austin Dawurskposted 12 years ago

   Kennedy once said, "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
   Forgiveness is hard to achieve, especially when trust is broken. But it is something to strive for. The way I forgive someone is I get up the nerve to talk to them. I explain to them my issue with them and try to work it out. Some time it isn't a good conversation, but it always ends out better than before. I forgive them for anything they did, but I never forget what they did.

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6. 92

   Faceless39posted 12 years ago

   Forgiving was an important lesson to learn, especially to keep my sanity.  But forgetting isn't really an option.

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7. 95

   cat on a soapboxposted 12 years ago

   I agree that forgiveness, however difficult, is a necessity if we are to have successful relationships. Sometimes we have to think of our own weaknesses and shortcomings to do so. Most deserve another chance.
   It is also important to draw the line with those who take advantage repeatedly and expect forgiveness with no intention of improving bad behavior.   Forgetting is something I've never been able to do. I have a great memory!

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8. 59

   C.V.Rajanposted 12 years ago

   When I forgive somebody, I think so high of my magnanimity  that I never forget it!

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9. 37

   edhanposted 12 years ago

   I know when people says I forgive you but still unable to forget. My wife happens to be one of those who bears grudges even though when said forgiven.
   
   Fortunately after many years of telling her that it is time to let go and be happy when you forgive someone. So finally now she fully understand what I am trying to tell her. She is able to let go of her anger once she has forgiven the person.
   
   Ask yourself this question whenever you got angry and thereafter forgiving someone but still can't forget about it - Does it makes you happy? Or does it gives you joy? Most of the times the answer will be heartache or sadness. So if you forgive and forget, will you be happier? Now my wife can truly tells me that she feel relieved and happier without remembering those bad memories.
   
   So, it may takes time but it will happen one day when you are able to let go.
   
   For me, just like when my parents passed away, I find myself hard to let go but eventually I understand the cycle of life and let it go. This is the same thing that I am teaching my kids to be able to forgive and forget as to let go of that feeling.

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10. 56

    zzronposted 12 years ago

    
    
    I think we should always forgive others as we would want others to forgive us. It doesn't matter what it is. Sometimes it can be hard to do but we can do it and a great burden is lifted from us for doing so. We should never forget our learning experiences.

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11. 60

    Rachel Richmondposted 12 years ago

    This was a lesson that was kind of hard, yet in my personal experience I've learned the more I forgive, the more I 'see' the lesson.  The item(s) I forgave/forgive don't carry such a memory of hardship or trauma, which (at least for me) I have been able to 'forget' per se.  It created room for new and exciting things to come forward since I learned that lesson - it stopped a cycle of "this always happens".  What a great question. Thanks!

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12. 64

    Pixienotposted 12 years ago

    Many have heard the phrase "Forgive and Forget." Good solution? Hard solution?
    What we really want to know, is how to move forward. Forgetting something that hurts on a consistent and daily basis is NOT EASY folks. Nope! Not easy!
    First of all... read more

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13. 57

    athena2011posted 12 years ago

    I have learned how to forgive over the years and I think that being able to forgive is beneficial to us as well as we no longer have that toxic feeling built up inside of us.
    
    Forgetting is another story. I don't think we can forget something for which we have to give forgiveness, and that is probably a good thing so that we learn from things that have happened in our past.

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14. 60

    nightwork4posted 12 years ago

    i rarely forgive. to me forgiving someone who wrongs you is like saying to them that it's ok to do it again. i don't dwell on what others did but i don't let it go.

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    Phoebe Pikeposted 12 years ago

    Simply put- Forgiving is accepting what happened. You may not like what occurred, but human nature has flaws which makes life more interesting. Forgetting is not forgiving. It is not accepting it. Often you can forgive and simply not bring up the past.
    
    The easiest way to forgive is to ask why you feel hurt. Often it will show that it is a selfish reason dealing with self. "He hurt MY feelings.", "She insulted ME"... see a trend? You can forgive when you realize that life is too short for bitterness and we should simply move on.

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16. 72

    lone77starposted 12 years ago

    Yes! And the essence of forgiveness is "letting go!"
    
    That can include forgetting. The object is not to be attached to the ball-and-chain of resentment.
    
    When I first experienced true forgiveness, it included forgetting. For 33 years I had forgotten. My bliss was so complete that the perpetrators could have done whatever they wanted to me and I wouldn't have cared. I was no longer a victim.
    
    I was no longer "ego." And thus no longer vulnerable.

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    Sunnie Dayposted 12 years ago

    Forgiveness is a choice that we do for ourselves and others. It is not always easy but that is when healing can begin.

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18. 77

    CloudExplorerposted 12 years ago

    Ever since I were a child I had the ability to forgive, and I believe it all began when my brother used to pick on me. 
    I learned quickly that the only remedy for stopping his unfair sibling rivalry behavior of abusiveness was to forgive him for it, it seemed to bring him to tears each time I used such a powerful tool.  Till this very day, I use this awesome technique, which also is god like in character, and it works wonders through all my communications with people, relations, relationships, and my travels or experiences in life.
    Good question, it truly does work and it has done the job for me each time, changing my destiny as well after making things appear much more positive quickly after forgiveness was rendered.

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19. 59

    NiaLeeposted 12 years ago

    forgive yes, now people can make you forget if they really change their behavior, if they are really different from what hurt in the past. I f not, you feel like you are forgiving somebody who doesn't care and will do it again, so, save yourself.
    Knowing how good it feels to be forgiven helps forgive.

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20. 61

    YvetteParkerposted 12 years ago

    Forgiveness is a choice not to allow the actions or deeds of others to cause you to harbor grief, strife, and animosity towards them or others. Once you make the choice to forgive and ask for forgiveness; the healing process begins.
    
    Those emotions and pains of the past become just that...the past. But it doesn't happen overnight. It is again, a process. You know when you have truly forgiven when the name or sight of the person no longer cause you to cringe or cause negative emotions to flare.
    
    Forgiveness delivers you from the baggage, scars, and wounds of others and allows you to move forward. It also frees them from the guilt of their actions.
    
    You will still have memories, so forgetting is probably impossibe. But the reaction to those memories will be different.

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21. 61

    Dave Mathewsposted 12 years ago

    It is very quick and easy for me to forgive someone, BUT, forgetting is not always that simple as lessons are learned and might require reminding.

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    dmopposted 12 years ago

    We all make mistakes and deserve second chances, but forgiving can be extremely difficult for many people. Many people can't seem to be empathetic of others, yet they always expect it in return. I am a very forgiving person, perhaps too much at times, but my empathy prevents me from holding grudges, because I know my own faults.

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23. 74

    Maddambutterflyposted 12 years ago

    I think that forgiveness is something which we NEED to do for our own sanity and peace of mind! Forgetting however is a whole other issue. I can forgive but I feel that if I forget I am destined to repeat my mistakes!

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    xethonxqposted 12 years ago

    I know how to forgive...whether or not I choose to do it is a different story. Forget? Hmmm..that really depends on the egregiousness of  behavior that occurred.

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    aisha91posted 12 years ago

    I can easily forgive but to forget is a different matter. No matter how I tried to forget and bring back things like the past, I just can't. To be polite and civil to the one who hurts me or broke my trust is the best thing that I can do. Assuming I forget sooner or later but the fact that the situation which once I have shared with that special person/friend/people in my life can no longer be repaired.

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26. 62

    TheRealJohnMillerposted 12 years ago

    Forgive, but never forget. Still, allow others to make amends.

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    cicsomumposted 12 years ago

    It depends... If someone did upset you but had no intention, then there is nothing to forgive.
    If the intention was to upset you, Then it’s either out of love or hate
    So, the real question is, would you forgive someone who hates you?
    I say NO
    Forgiving is overrated. Many people ask the same question, but deep down everyone know, we do stuff because of reason, everything we do, is because of some kind reason. We call other people hypocrites and egoists but everything we do is motivated by some reason, even when you donate to charity, we are being egoists. We do good to feel better about ourselves and it isn’t wrong to like helping others, it’s about the reason why we do this – to feel better about ourselves, which is the definition of egoism.  Reason, point, motivation is why we do stuff.
    So what would be the point in forgiving someone who hates you?

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28. 69

    soconfidentposted 12 years ago

    depends how big the situation is to you, it can be kinda hard to forive and very hard to forget

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29. 70

    Alastar Packerposted 12 years ago

    One may not be able to forget but its best to 'Put it all behind you, 'cause goes life goes on, you keep carrying all that anger, it will eat you up inside' as Don Henley says.

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