RedElf - you've the lightest of touches -
Your humour (inverted) too much is!
If you bide your time
for the one-thousandth rhyme
we'll proclaim you the limerick Duchess!
More Etti For Kagal
Perhaps you saw Johnny Confetti
The guy with the bowl of spaghetti
Get up from his seat
To pile on the meat
To find that the pot was'nt ready
With only fifteen more to go
our travelling limerick show
is near consummation,
the best in the nation
(and everywhere else, don't you know!)
There once was a Romeo M
Whose lady was quite a fair gem
He swore "Juliette
I'll never forget"
Then ran off with Sushea Kym
I wish I could stop all this blather
about limericks, I know I would rather
Be lying in clover, getting a leg over
No more limericks and blather - I'd Father
A pirate with feminine parts
Familiar with feminine arts
Makes Egypt King Tut-less
The western world what-less
A ship captain rip up his charts
If I were a pirate, I know
I'd be good and incredibly so
I'd rob and I'd rob
drink rum like a slob
but go to bed when my mummy said so
The waves are a terrible bore
so the typical pirate, ashore,
to set his soul free
from the weeks on the sea
will rush to the handiest whore.
And if he is happy to spend
his silver, she's sure to extend
the best of her wiles
so that, in a short while,
he will come to the stickiest end...
(whoops!)
And when he is more or less sated,
his appetites dulled or abated,
she'll show him the door
knowing he'll come back for more
in the evening when he's celebrated.
I've brought it to nine-ninety-five
and that's where I'll leave it, for I've
no wish to conclude
my own thread. That's no good.
Is there anyone out there alive??
home straight, guys - go for it!!
Where oh where is the Limerick Lord
Don’t you think it decidedly odd
To race to the finish
Of the 1000-mark wish
Without earnestshub’s presence aboard!
earnestshubs seems missing
and left us guessing
earnests the amicable
makes other amiable,
my pal sprout out like a mushroom now...
I dug myself out of religion
(like teaching Shakespeare to a pigeon!)
It's more fun in here
with the crew and good cheer
than to bother religion a smidgin.
Good thing your out in that thread,
for misunderstanding now is widespread,
Hubpages fellas are now divided,
Hope we will be all guided,
By harmony and love for hubs and hubpages...
Some forums are thoroughly naff,
hounds waiting to pounce on each gaff.
It's not like that here
in this place of good cheer
where we all hang around for a laugh
It's time for the big number post
the space was reserved for our host
but as Paraglider
has left the decider
to us it is time for a toast!
There's a place called Limerick in Ireland
That's what attracted me to this post thinking it was a discussion about Limerick city.
With limericists in cahoots
we've finally gathered the fruits
of this greatest ever
collective endeavour
(and bored everyone else to their boots!)
Grats paraglider for the 1oooth replies in this thread and you too earnestshub for doing the honor of posting the 1oooth of paraglider's...
Nice thread here and hope it will hit few thousands more...
Ah let them be bored if they choose
We limerists have nothing to lose
we make up our rhyme
in nano's of time
while appearing in some other ruse
You're right. It's a use for the spare
old neurons just languishing there
awaiting their chance
to take part in the dance
and if others are bored, we don't care!
"What's troublin' you Farmer Brown?"
"Can't get this horse into town
I struck him but once
But he, like some dunce,
Keeps tossing me off to the ground"
An old man from Oklahoma,
Coined verses while in a deep coma,
But awake from his dream,
He had no memory gleam,
The verses had left his old dome-a.
Aye yi yi yi,
In China they don't eat much chili,
So let's have another verse,
That's worse than the other verse,
Then waltz me around again Nelly.
He then climbed a mountain that he knew,
In search of a wise man or guru,
He said, "pay your bills",
Or come live in these hills,
And stay in a cave like me boo hoo.
Aye yi yi yi,
In Juarez the tacos are zesty,
So let's have another verse,
That's worse than the other verse,
And ladies please don't get too testy.
He then met a gal from West Texas,
Who had a real cute solar plexis,
He suddenly learned,
That his rimes had returned,
But they were all rated with exes.
Aye yi yi yi,
The memories this brings are delightful,
So let's have another verse,
That's worse than the other verse,
And see that we never get hateful.
He married that gal east of Dumas,
They had 15 kids that's the rumas,
Each night they would add,
A new verse that would pad,
To their copy of the Karma Sutra.
Aye yi yi yi,
This honors some old vets I served with,
They'll ne'er sing another verse,
Or utter a nasty curse,
But sang long and loud as we shared a fifth.
Now wasn’t that really quite a ride
Swimming against the usual forum tide
One thousand limericks
In two months is slick
It’s what you’d call a limerick landslide!
we posted our one thousanth prize
now reaching higher, with stars in our eyes
all trying to be famous
from Andy to Zamus
busy writing our 5 line suprise!
Paraglider, I am devastated;
For the 1000th limericks I waited;
But my program went down,
And I missed out the crown,
"Late Lady-Past-Due-Date" I'm rated.
I say it with a writers pride
I am in for the twenty-ten ride
at just 3 a day
we can do it our way
5 original lines, done in confident stride.
I know of a flying Dutchman
An excellent airborne clutchman
'Tis truly a treat
To sit near their seat
When the cockpit's run by suchmen
It's easier now we have LEWJ
we'll get more limericks each day
we all should get goin
the limericks flowin
let the limericks flow if you may!
I'll bet e.h. can learn us
To publish hubs that earn us
At least 69
Or four sixty-three times
The number of fans who discern us
When pictures are one thousand words,
and limericks are written by birds,
it's not something you've bought,
we'll give you the thought:
sheep don't always gather in herds.
A girl by the name of bluemoon
Once stayed up past midnight til noon
Reading all of this thread
'stead of sleeping in bed
Now she's bags neath her eyes like balloons
Her brother whose nick was Buffoon
Kept staring so hard at the moon
His feet and his head
Leapt up out of bed
And parked in the nearest lagoon
I wish I were closer in time
with the others who rhythm n rhyme
I'm not a failure
I live in Australia
it isn't an actual crime!
Are we keeping to limerick time?
we need three a day to be prime
and meet our joint goal
climb the top of the pole
while sucking a lemon and lime!
a young american ladd traveling in OZ
stopped way out in the Red for a pause
when a Rue hopped on buy
and exclaimed with a sigh
they'll let anybody out here by god!
I'm hating a lemon and lime
They're bitter and tart all the time
I'd like somethin' sweet
While patting my feet
And adding more rythm n' ryhme
A camel in our red outback
became tired of being a hack
he through off his rider
then offered her cider
he kept in a fluffy backpack
I see that it didn't take long
for the thread to come bouncing back strong.
We had a brief rest
at the one-thousand test,
but now we are back in full song!
We're rolling along fairly well
the numbers have something to tell
we enjoy ourselves writing
limericks enticing
with paraglider, our pal.
an experimenting youg maiden named Alice
tried a dynamite stick for a phalic
it went off with a boom
and as smoke filled her room
three fourths of her a** fell in Dallas!
A Nun from the Old Diocese
Told a young Priest, she'd caught the disease
So He told the Abbott,
Who said she must kick the habit
Of Spending all day on her knees!
There was a young Chef at the Dinner
who proclamed that His Beans were much finer
and he'd laugh with a hoot
as he'd start out to toot
then finish baking his Fartada- in B minor!
A Big Blood Hound named Officer Bently
Kept digging in the hole, quite intensely
until He uncoverd the Bod
The Old Man hid in the Yard
said I thought this thing smelled- quite immensely!
A very sad man from Milwaukee
Said why won't my gal talk t' me
When his friends pointed out
that he's quite the mean lout
He said oh my now I see.
A homesick young sailor at sea
Said "I see land" with much glee
Til he looked once more
and saw it wasn't the shore
and wailed Oh woe is me!
A hungry young sailor Mahoney
Was eatin' up all the baloney
His shipmates, suffice,
Thought "This ain't so nice"
And stared at his face all stony
Mahoney cried 'What is the matter?
Help yourselves to a share of my platter.'
So they all tucked right in,
washed it down with neat gin.
Now the sailors are drunk and much fatter.
Then ship Captain Jo came along
With gin-soaked vocals so strong
They shook the whole ship
With D-flats that slipped
But all spent the night there in song
I once knew a don named Juan
Who loved his fun in the sun
From week to week
And cheek to cheek
He steadily stayed on the run
I've noticed that in the hub forum
some conduct themselves with decorum
and then there are some
who just wanna have fun
guess it's better to wow 'em than bore 'em!!
Of Lady Fluellen
I know of a Lady Fluellen
Who made a livin' from sellin'
She rolled in the snow
Not too long ago
With who and how long I ain't tellin'
Well my limerick lover's affair
Has left me in a state of despair
It's a kick in the gut-bag
I'm a take off my name tag
Ultimatum: it's me or it's Pierre
Of Pierre
I knew of a boy Pierre
With caterpillar hair
He played with his toys
And all other boys,
Who always managed to stare
'Twas once upon the Isle of Wight-
My daily water not in sight-
I popped a pill
That made me spill
All dam day, all dam night
by Rupert Taylor 2 weeks ago
The closest I get to poetry is the noble limerick. Here is one from my fevered brain. I'm sure fellow versifiers can do better - much better.A Yankee website called HubPagesPublished stories written by sagesIt was bought out by TAGThat gave not a shagAnd, gobbled up all of our wages
by Amieazing 15 years ago
I only ask because everyone I've come accross so far is from America... I am from england. HI PEOPLE I'm a newbie......
by Lynda Gary 15 years ago
Hi Hubbers,I hope I'm posting my introduction in the correct place; if not, someone point me in the right direction?So far, I'm psyched over this site. Though there are tons of warnings "out there" for "serious" writers to stay away from these types of sites, I have a...
by FaisalKhan2121 13 years ago
I say thank you Panda for helping to restore quality content to search engine results. Hubpages definitely has gotten better-- the spam is gone and the cream is rising to the top. Also, I'm making more money than I ever have in the four years I've been on Hubpages so I'm a very happy...
by Pete 8 years ago
Isn't posting a "limerick" that is NOT a limerick actually false advertising??I have bit my tongue for quite a while now about all the "limericks" that get posted on Hubpages which are NOT true limericks. They may be poems, but they are NOT limericks because they do not...
by Bob Green Innes 13 years ago
I ran out of space on my blog when I tried to put up a 15,000 word essay (about 125k). Sigh. Thus the topic. I'd heard about HP awhile ago, a little tickled at the idea of making a few cents instead of nothing. In trying to get up a test hub, I read the stuff on subdomains,...
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