Limericks - Limericks - Limericks

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  1. Paraglider profile image92
    Paragliderposted 15 years ago

    RedElf - you've the lightest of touches -
    Your humour (inverted) too much is!
    If you bide your time
    for the one-thousandth rhyme
    we'll proclaim you the limerick Duchess!

  2. profile image0
    LEWJposted 15 years ago

    More Etti For Kagal

    Perhaps you saw Johnny Confetti
    The guy with the bowl of spaghetti
    Get up from his seat
    To pile on the meat
    To find that the pot was'nt ready

    1. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      With only fifteen more to go
      our travelling limerick show
      is near consummation,
      the best in the nation
      (and everywhere else, don't you know!)

    2. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      There once was a Romeo M
      Whose lady was quite a fair gem
      He swore  "Juliette
      I'll never forget"
      Then ran off with Sushea Kym

    3. scarytaff profile image67
      scarytaffposted 15 years ago

      I wish I could stop all this blather
      about limericks, I know I would rather
      Be lying in clover, getting a leg over
      No more limericks and blather - I'd Father

    4. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      A pirate with feminine parts
      Familiar with feminine arts
      Makes Egypt King Tut-less
      The western world what-less
      A ship captain rip up his charts

    5. scarytaff profile image67
      scarytaffposted 15 years ago

      If I were a pirate, I know
      I'd be good and incredibly so
      I'd rob and I'd rob
      drink rum like a slob
      but go to bed when my mummy said so

    6. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      The waves are a terrible bore
      so the typical pirate, ashore,
      to set his soul free
      from the weeks on the sea
      will rush to the handiest whore.

    7. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      And if he is happy to spend
      his silver, she's sure to extend
      the best of her wiles
      so that, in a short while,
      he will come to the stickiest end...

      (whoops!)

    8. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      And when he is more or less sated,
      his appetites dulled or abated,
      she'll show him the door
      knowing he'll come back for more
      in the evening when he's celebrated.

    9. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      I've brought it to nine-ninety-five
      and that's where I'll leave it, for I've
      no wish to conclude
      my own thread. That's no good.
      Is there anyone out there alive??

      home straight, guys - go for it!!

    10. Shalini Kagal profile image56
      Shalini Kagalposted 15 years ago

      Where oh where is the Limerick Lord
      Don’t you think it decidedly odd
      To race to the finish
      Of the 1000-mark wish
      Without earnestshub’s presence aboard!

      1. GeneralHowitzer profile image62
        GeneralHowitzerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        earnestshubs seems missing
        and left us guessing
        earnests the amicable
        makes other amiable,
        my pal sprout out like a mushroom now...

    11. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      I dug myself out of religion
      (like teaching Shakespeare to a pigeon!)
      It's more fun in here
      with the crew and good cheer
      than to bother religion a smidgin.

      1. GeneralHowitzer profile image62
        GeneralHowitzerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Good thing your out in that thread,
        for misunderstanding now is widespread,
        Hubpages fellas are now divided,
        Hope we will be all guided,
        By harmony and love for hubs and hubpages...

    12. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      Some forums are thoroughly naff,
      hounds waiting to pounce on each gaff.
      It's not like that here
      in this place of good cheer
      where we all hang around for a laugh smile

    13. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      It's time for the big number post
      the space was reserved for our host
      but as Paraglider
      has left the decider
      to us it is time for a toast!

    14. Cranoo profile image60
      Cranooposted 15 years ago

      There's a place called Limerick in Ireland wink

      That's what attracted me to this post thinking it was a discussion about Limerick city.

    15. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      With limericists in cahoots
      we've finally gathered the fruits
      of this greatest ever
      collective endeavour
      (and bored everyone else to their boots!)

    16. GeneralHowitzer profile image62
      GeneralHowitzerposted 15 years ago

      Grats paraglider for the 1oooth replies in this thread and you too earnestshub for doing the honor of posting the 1oooth of paraglider's...

      Nice thread here and hope it will hit few thousands more...

    17. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      Ah let them be bored if they choose
      We limerists have nothing to lose
      we make up our rhyme
      in nano's of time
      while appearing in some other ruse

    18. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      You're right. It's a use for the spare
      old neurons just languishing there
      awaiting their chance
      to take part in the dance
      and if others are bored, we don't care!

    19. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      "What's troublin' you Farmer Brown?"
      "Can't get this horse into town
      I struck him but once
      But he, like some dunce,
      Keeps tossing me off to the ground"

    20. profile image0
      papajackposted 15 years ago

      An old man from Oklahoma,
      Coined verses while in a deep coma,
      But awake from his dream,
      He had no memory gleam,
      The verses had left his old dome-a.

      Aye yi yi yi,
      In China they don't eat much chili,
      So let's have another verse,
      That's worse than the other verse,
      Then waltz me around again Nelly.

      He then climbed a mountain that he knew,
      In search of a wise man or guru,
      He said, "pay your bills",
      Or come live in these hills,
      And stay in a cave like me boo hoo.

      Aye yi  yi yi,
      In Juarez the tacos are zesty,
      So let's have another verse,
      That's worse than the other verse,
      And ladies please don't get too testy.

      He then met a gal from West Texas,
      Who had a real cute solar plexis,
      He suddenly learned,
      That his rimes had returned,
      But they were all rated with exes.

      Aye yi  yi yi,
      The memories this brings are delightful,
      So let's have another verse,
      That's worse than the other verse,
      And see that we never get hateful.

      He married that gal east of Dumas,
      They had 15 kids that's the rumas,
      Each night they would add,
      A new verse that would pad,
      To their copy of the Karma Sutra.

      Aye yi  yi yi,
      This honors some old vets I served with,
      They'll ne'er sing another verse,
      Or utter a nasty curse,
      But sang long and loud as we shared a fifth.

    21. Shalini Kagal profile image56
      Shalini Kagalposted 15 years ago

      Now wasn’t that really quite a ride
      Swimming against the usual forum tide
      One thousand limericks
      In two months is slick
      It’s what you’d call a limerick landslide!

      1. profile image0
        LEWJposted 15 years agoin reply to this
    22. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 15 years ago

      we posted our one thousanth prize
      now reaching higher, with stars in our eyes
      all trying to be famous
      from Andy to Zamus
      busy writing our 5 line suprise!

    23. RedElf profile image91
      RedElfposted 15 years ago

      Paraglider, I am devastated;
      For the 1000th limericks I waited;
      But my program went down,
      And I missed out the crown,
      "Late Lady-Past-Due-Date" I'm rated.
      wink

      1. RedElf profile image91
        RedElfposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        But the record was not mine for breaking;
        Honest Earnest a tribute was making;
        His hub rightly shows
        Where the crown truly goes -
        'glider, yours, for this brave undertaking!

    24. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 15 years ago

      I say it with a writers pride
      I am in for the twenty-ten ride
      at just 3 a day
      we can do it our way
      5 original lines, done in confident stride.

      1. profile image0
        LEWJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Then it's on!

    25. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      I know of a flying Dutchman
      An excellent airborne clutchman
      'Tis truly a treat
      To sit near their seat
      When the cockpit's run by suchmen

      1. earnestshub profile image70
        earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        It's easier now we have LEWJ
        we'll get more limericks each day
        we all should get goin
        the limericks flowin
        let the limericks flow if you may!

    26. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      I'll bet e.h. can learn us
      To publish hubs that earn us
      At least 69
      Or four sixty-three times
      The number of fans who discern us

    27. Epsilon5 profile image70
      Epsilon5posted 15 years ago

      When pictures are one thousand words,
      and limericks are written by birds,
      it's not something you've bought,
      we'll give you the thought:
      sheep don't always gather in herds.

    28. osws_bluemoon profile image60
      osws_bluemoonposted 15 years ago

      A girl by the name of bluemoon
      Once stayed up past midnight til noon
      Reading all of this thread
      'stead of sleeping in bed
      Now she's bags neath her eyes like balloons

    29. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      Her brother whose nick was Buffoon
      Kept staring so hard at the moon
      His feet and his head
      Leapt up out of bed
      And parked in the nearest lagoon

    30. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      I wish I were closer in time
      with the others who rhythm n rhyme
      I'm not a failure
      I live in Australia
      it isn't an actual crime!

    31. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      Are we keeping to limerick time?
      we need three a day to be prime
      and meet our joint goal
      climb the top of the pole
      while sucking a lemon and lime!

      1. dutchman1951 profile image60
        dutchman1951posted 15 years agoin reply to this

        a young american ladd traveling in OZ
        stopped way out in the Red for a pause
        when a Rue hopped on buy
        and exclaimed with a sigh
        they'll let anybody out here by god!

      2. profile image0
        LEWJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        I'm hating a lemon and lime
        They're bitter and tart all the time
        I'd like somethin' sweet
        While patting my feet
        And adding more rythm n' ryhme smile

    32. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      A camel in our red outback
      became tired of being a hack
      he through off his rider
      then offered her cider
      he kept in a fluffy backpack

    33. Paraglider profile image92
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      I see that it didn't take long
      for the thread to come bouncing back strong.
      We had a brief rest
      at the one-thousand test,
      but now we are back in full song!

    34. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      We're rolling along fairly well
      the numbers have something to tell
      we enjoy ourselves writing
      limericks enticing
      with paraglider, our pal.

      1. dutchman1951 profile image60
        dutchman1951posted 15 years agoin reply to this

        an experimenting youg maiden named Alice
        tried a dynamite stick for a phalic
        it went off with a boom
        and as smoke filled her room
        three fourths of her a** fell in Dallas!

        1. profile image0
          LEWJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          A horny young maiden named Alice
          Chose a dynamite stick for a phallus
          It went off with a boom
          And as smoke filled the room
          Three-fourths of her @ss fell in Dallas!

    35. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 15 years ago

      A Nun from the Old Diocese
      Told a young Priest, she'd caught the disease
      So He told the Abbott,
      Who said she must kick the habit
      Of Spending all day on her knees!

    36. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 15 years ago

      There was a young Chef at the Dinner
      who proclamed that His Beans were much finer
      and he'd laugh with a hoot
      as he'd start out to  toot
      then finish baking his Fartada- in B minor!

    37. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 15 years ago

      A Big Blood Hound named Officer Bently
      Kept digging in the hole, quite intensely
      until He uncoverd the Bod
      The Old Man hid in the Yard
      said I thought this thing smelled- quite immensely!

    38. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 15 years ago

      A very sad man from Milwaukee
      Said why won't my gal talk t' me
      When his friends pointed out
      that he's quite the mean lout
      He said oh my now I see.

    39. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 15 years ago

      A homesick young sailor at sea
      Said "I see land" with much glee
      Til he looked once more
      and saw it wasn't the shore
      and wailed Oh woe is me!

    40. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      A hungry young sailor Mahoney
      Was eatin' up all the baloney
      His shipmates, suffice,
      Thought  "This ain't so nice"
      And stared at his face all stony

    41. osws_bluemoon profile image60
      osws_bluemoonposted 15 years ago

      Mahoney cried 'What is the matter?
      Help yourselves to a share of my platter.'
      So they all tucked right in,
      washed it down with neat gin.
      Now the sailors are drunk and much fatter.

    42. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      Then ship Captain Jo came along
      With gin-soaked vocals so strong
      They shook the whole ship
      With D-flats that slipped
      But all spent the night there in song

    43. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      I once knew a don named Juan
      Who loved his fun in the sun
      From week to week
      And cheek to cheek
      He steadily stayed on the run

    44. elisabethkcmo profile image81
      elisabethkcmoposted 15 years ago

      I've noticed that in the hub forum
      some conduct themselves with decorum
      and then there are some
      who just wanna have fun
      guess it's better to wow 'em than bore 'em!!

    45. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      Of Lady Fluellen

      I know of a Lady Fluellen
      Who made a livin' from sellin'
      She rolled in the snow
      Not too long ago
      With who and how long I ain't tellin'

    46. marcofratelli profile image81
      marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

      Well my limerick lover's affair
      Has left me in a state of despair
      It's a kick in the gut-bag
      I'm a take off my name tag
      Ultimatum: it's me or it's Pierre

    47. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      Of Pierre

      I knew of a boy Pierre
      With caterpillar hair
      He played with his toys
      And all other boys,
      Who always managed to stare

    48. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      'Twas once upon the Isle of Wight-
      My daily water not in sight-
      I popped a pill
      That made me spill
      All dam day, all dam night

     
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