Limericks - Limericks - Limericks

1. 0

   LEWJposted 15 years ago

   Professor  McQuirk
   
   I thought I'd go off to college
   And get me a little knowledge;
   Professor McQuirk
   (That ridiculous jerk)
   Flunked me for 8 years solid!

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2. 0

   Ghost32posted 15 years ago

   Professor McQuirk had a brother
   A meticulous curve-grading mother
   I made him look bad
   He's still mighty mad
   He failed when he graded me "Other"
   
   The class was the cutting of meat
   In Ag we must pass or repeat
   When I would not kill
   His rage tried to spill
   But still he went down to defeat
   
   I told him I'd hunted before
   And slaughtered good cattle and more
   But kill for a grade?
   Not how I was made--
   He stomped and he spit on the  floor
   
   It insulted what he thought was good
   He'd have flunked me then if he could
   But curve as he did
   Through that class I slid
   Took a "C" and got out of the 'hood!

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3. 70

   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   I wish we could write a lot more
   limericks to help the score
   of the poets enjoyment
   of rhyme-word deployment
   it's enjoyable right to the core!

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4. 60

   kwaltersposted 15 years ago

   If there were some eternal Internet
   With a hubber named Marie Antoinette
   If she let them eat cake,
   Would it truly be fake,
   Like some electronic silhouette?

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5. 93

   Paragliderposted 15 years ago

   I've not been around for a while
   but see we're still rhyming in style.
   It's better than fighting
   and quite as exciting
   as drenching the Forums in bile!

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6. 59

   teendadposted 15 years ago

   Please forgive my lack of ability
   When I'm asked to write some poetry
   I'm not blessed with the talent
   But I'll post and be gallant
   That I'll be panned, is a distinct possibility!

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7. 0

   LEWJposted 15 years ago

   Professor McQuirk was so fat
   His head hardly fit in his hat
   He stuffed out his belly
   With strawberry jelly
   And biscuits and all such as that.
   
   For certain he shined his best
   At the National Pie-Eatin' Fest
   Where he shocked a million
   Outdone civilians
   By beating their Champion guest.
   
   I hear that McQuirk is retired
   From his post so highly desired
   But for Turkish cuisines
   And for eating the Dean
   I really do fear he was fired!

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8. 70

   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   I'm back with a few words to say
   I went riding my bike on this day
   I ran out of puff
   Said I've had enough
   so went off to sleep in the hay.

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9. 93

   Paragliderposted 15 years ago

   There was an old codger whose spider
   was hungry for sex. He denied her,
   insisting she ought to
   be celibate. Not to
   distress her, he shot her and fried her.
   
   Her ghost (for they have them) returned
   to haunt him. She taunted - You spurned
   eight legged advances,
   d'you fancy your chances
   surviving the shade that you burned?
   
   He said (I know this is pathetic)
   I thought you were peripatetic,   
   bestowing your favours
   on shakers and ravers
   alike - you were always athletic.
   
   She said - I was certainly pliable
   my suppleness quite undeniable
   but wasn't I worthy
   of something less earthy
   than redefinition as friable?

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   1. 70

      earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Definitive! Superb! Bravo!

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10. 80

    marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

    I'm off to Brisbane for work
    My boss over there's a big jerk
    But the city is ace
    Fell in the love with the place
    But the job just gets me beserk
    
    I'm a train ride away from the coast
    I might see Steve Irwin's ghost
    At Australia Zoo
    Feeding kangaroos
    So cool! (I don't mean to boast)
    
    Then down at Surfer's Paradise
    At the beach there, to be quite precise
    All the ladies are hot
    Showing off what they've got
    So discreetly, I'll try to look twice!!

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Beautiful work Marco!

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11. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    I'm tired, it's late, I have flue
    there is little I feel I can do
    but try to write one
    be a son of a gun
    and stay in the chair with some glue

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12. 80

    marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

    Thanks mate, but I feel a bit rusty
    All my rhymes are a little bit dusty
    It has been a while
    So I'm not versatile
    Like when snot can make boogers, some crusty

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    1. 93

       Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       A wonderful turn at the end
       from Marco, our flexible friend.
       Some say he's a bit
       of a wonder with wit
       and some say he's quite round the bend!

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       1. 70

          earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          A twisted mind I can handle
          to Marco I can't hold a candle
          funny and witty
          honest and gritty
          I'm happy to pass him the mandle.

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13. 69

    SparklingJewelposted 15 years ago

    Oh, what glorious fun
    To make such limericky pun
    It's lasting effects can be thrilling
    And often uncontrollably chilling
    But I shall not shun them, not one

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14. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Time for another limerick.
    
    I copied this from myself. I originally put it in the incredibly silly religious forum.
    
    You'll notice that in megalomania
    the people all think they are brainier
    The sad truth is they
    washed their brains right away
    which leave them a little insaneia

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15. 0

    Ghost32posted 15 years ago

    Earnest, I look in the mirror
    The reflection looks queerer and queerer
    I washed out my brain
    It went down the drain
    Yet still I look highly superior!

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I looked in a mirror one day
       they had to take it away
       is that really me?
       I don't wanna see!
       I won't look again if you pay!

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16. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    The limerick thread is so quiet
    I'm thinking of starting a riot
    of words like dissuasive
    and be quite evasive
    then make up a word just to try it.

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17. 0

    Ghost32posted 15 years ago

    If we need to make up a word
    Perhaps we could use Hagathird
    Which stands for the type
    Who is so full of tripe
    He shakes like a featherless bird

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I remember the ball bearing bird
       It is said that it's never been heard
       I think that is crazy
       the bird is so lazy
       and probably dumb as a turd

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       1. 0

          Ghost32posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Okay, just one last bad rhyme
          Though truly I've not got the time
          That bird bearing balls
          Is bouncing off walls
          And making the cuckoo clock chime

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          1. 70

             earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Salutations ghost. you are one very funny dude!

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18. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Ghost we're both on 92
    is there somethin we should orta do?
    if we stay the same digit
    it will make me fidget
    then write one hub more than you do.

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19. 0

    Ghost32posted 15 years ago

    I care but so little for score
    And care to build my new home more
    When we're in the house
    And chase out the mouse
    Hub Rank won't be such a bore
    
    Which brings me to sadly confess
    The clock on the wall is a mess
    I've got to sleep now
    Or by the dawn, Wow!
    I'll curse Limerick's bawdy address

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20. 58

    Sexy jontyposted 15 years ago

    can anybody tell me what is meaning of Limericks

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       A limerick is a poem with 5 lines.
       It is very complex in a way, as the first second and fifth line has about nine syllables and the the third and fourth lines usually have five or six syllables and rhyme seperately, and that is why they can be changed a little from the formula but not much.

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       1. 58

          Sexy jontyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Hey earnest thanks ...... you are very impressive .....

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          1. 70

             earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Most kind, thank you, and I think I feel a limerick coming on!

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21. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    The day has been long and hardworking
    although I had no time for shirking
    I found enough time
    to do one more rhyme
    to keep my limerick mates smirking.

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22. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    It has reached that time of the day
    when I'm heading off for the hay
    I'll grab me some kip
    then lickety split
    I will dream of whatever I may!

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23. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    working all day is a drag
    less time for being a dag
    so when it gets tough
    I shout "thats enough"
    then come here to suck on a fag.

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24. 0

    Ghost32posted 15 years ago

    That last line Earnest has written
    Could well get a gay fellow smitten
    I know you'd not mean it
    But me, I would screen it
    Before a great writer gets bitten!

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    1. 69

       VacationAustraliaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Fag don't mean that in Australia
       or else I am headin for failure
       You guys talk funny
       just like bugs bunny
       if I wanna talk dirty I'll mail ya!

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25. 61

    Dee Dee MonSherieposted 15 years ago

    I see here our Ghost Understood
    That Ernest was referring to wood
    Inept I may be
    It occurred just to me
    That a cigarette is sucked as it should!

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26. 69

    VacationAustraliaposted 15 years ago

    It is so long since I posted here
    the thread is near dead now I fear
    It is a real shame
    with no one to blame
    so I'll add one and not shed a tear!

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    1. 67

       prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       it is not yet dead my dear,
       it is just starting to appear
       dont just disappear
       you get more everytime you appear

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       1. 70

          earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          prettydarkhorse you're a dear
          we sure need some help around here!
          some of the rhymers
          are only one timers
          when I want to rhyme for a year.

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27. 69

    VacationAustraliaposted 15 years ago

    Since prettydarkhorse came to write
    we could win the limerick fight
    to keep alive
    rhyme that can thrive
    when written with love and not spite.
    
    It's time to do it again
    I don't mind the limerick pain
    limerick first aid
    by a pretty young maid
    is welcome as summertime rain!

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28. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    I should try to make one that's funny
    maybe starring a riotous bunny
    who loses the plot
    when he sits on the pot
    producing a substance that's runny.

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29. 69

    VacationAustraliaposted 15 years ago

    Writing all day is good fun
    but after the writing is done
    I need a rhyme
    to help pass the time
    so now I'm delivering one.

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30. 0

    Brenda Durhamposted 15 years ago

    Said the girl to the knight in her fantasy,
    Are you a vision, or real to me?
    He said well it would seem
    that I'm just a dream
    'Cause I'm here and then gone, you see.

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31. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Brenda it's good when you rhyme
    you should do it all of the time
    a giggle amuses
    it seldom confuses
    while making our time usage prime.

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32. 69

    VacationAustraliaposted 15 years ago

    I love a good rhyme or nice prose
    or a limerick sharp on it's toes
    if it's nippy and bright
    it suits me alright
    I can whistle it out of my nose.

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33. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Hey there you limerick lover
    come out from under your cover
    spin me a yarn
    about an old barn
    that houses a psychotic plover.

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34. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    I hope that this thread hasn't died
    We near reached the sky then it fried
    Lets do it again
    come take up your pen
    and do a quick verse on the side.

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35. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Where are the limerick mob?
    Are they at work in their job?
    They should all be here
    to drink the free beer
    and carry on like a yob!

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36. 92

    Bibowenposted 15 years ago

    Who started this line again?
    Just someone who's dying to be read.
    Just rhyming away
    when it's a work-a-day
    He deserves a smart smack on the head.

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37. 0

    cosetteposted 15 years ago

    There once was a young man named Eenis
    Who had quite a substantial penis
    Earth girls thought him a bore
    'Cause with their toys they did score
    So he hopped the first rocket to Venus.

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38. 0

    cosetteposted 15 years ago

    There once was a hubber from Minsk
    Who thought all online lovers were finks
    Until the right man did beckon
    And said cool words like "reckon"
    Now her thoughts are in blues and in pinks.

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39. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    a limerick is a kind of wine
    that leaves hangover everytime
    may one drink it
    may one smell it
    everyone returns to this shrine

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40. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    limerick rock on every occasion
    i made those in personal vacation
    the events rocked
    everyone shocked
    how hubchief became a limerickation

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41. 61

    Sara Tonynposted 15 years ago

    I'll give it a try what the heck
    My keyboard I'll hunt and I'll peck
    But I must confess
    I started to press
    And now it's a pain in the neck

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42. 80

    marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

    Aha, someone found this thread!
    I've been searching so long, like I said
    I love me a rhyme
    (Almost all of the time)
    When I don't, I just write hubs instead...
    
    But alas! All those hubs are in verse!
    Like some Paddy has put me a curse...
    HubChief, don't go makin'
    up words, Sara's achin'
    Show me a limerick in reverse!

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43. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 15 years ago

    Bill was the best,
    Even in a vest,
    Dam you Monica
    You are a pest

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44. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    limerick went so far
    that hub mob forgot this shining star
    I am bringing it back
    to continue the stack
    and write these hotricks with high bar

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45. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    I've so missed this fabulous thread!
    Although it deprives me of my marvelous bed.
    I miss my limericians
    they're crafty technicians
    but don't let that go to your head.

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46. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    hub mob getting to limricks page
    crafty limricians back in shape
    some more to come
    in this empty drum
    keep enjoying this delicious cake

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47. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    The limerick's cake tastes of chocolate
    my indulgence I have to admit.
    Our art's misunderstood
    if only people could
    taste from our marvelous wit.

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48. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    limricks are a special taste
    does not attract people in haste
    needs attention
    not to mention
    its not merely cut and paste

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49. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    Someone once tried the cut and paste
    Paraglider was stunned and defaced.
    Put an end to it fast
    we were all aghast
    that limerician was quickly replaced.

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50. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    good to know about this history
    paraglider is true twistery
    we'd keep it alive
    till everyone jive
    limricks have their own chemistry

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