Limericks - Limericks - Limericks

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  1. profile image0
    LEWJposted 15 years ago

    Professor  McQuirk

    I thought I'd go off to college
    And get me a little knowledge;
    Professor McQuirk
    (That ridiculous jerk)
    Flunked me for 8 years solid!

  2. profile image0
    Ghost32posted 15 years ago

    Professor McQuirk had a brother
    A meticulous curve-grading mother
    I made him look bad
    He's still mighty mad
    He failed when he graded me "Other"

    The class was the cutting of meat
    In Ag we must pass or repeat
    When I would not kill
    His rage tried to spill
    But still he went down to defeat

    I told him I'd hunted before
    And slaughtered good cattle and more
    But kill for a grade?
    Not how I was made--
    He stomped and he spit on the  floor

    It insulted what he thought was good
    He'd have flunked me then if he could
    But curve as he did
    Through that class I slid
    Took a "C" and got out of the 'hood!

    1. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      I wish we could write a lot more
      limericks to help the score
      of the poets enjoyment
      of rhyme-word deployment
      it's enjoyable right to the core!

    2. kwalters profile image60
      kwaltersposted 15 years ago

      If there were some eternal Internet
      With a hubber named Marie Antoinette
      If she let them eat cake,
      Would it truly be fake,
      Like some electronic silhouette?

    3. Paraglider profile image93
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      I've not been around for a while
      but see we're still rhyming in style.
      It's better than fighting
      and quite as exciting
      as drenching the Forums in bile!

    4. teendad profile image61
      teendadposted 15 years ago

      Please forgive my lack of ability
      When I'm asked to write some poetry
      I'm not blessed with the talent
      But I'll post and be gallant
      That I'll be panned, is a distinct possibility!

    5. profile image0
      LEWJposted 15 years ago

      Professor McQuirk was so fat
      His head hardly fit in his hat
      He stuffed out his belly
      With strawberry jelly
      And biscuits and all such as that.

      For certain he shined his best
      At the National Pie-Eatin' Fest
      Where he shocked a million
      Outdone civilians
      By beating their Champion guest.

      I hear that McQuirk is retired
      From his post so highly desired
      But for Turkish cuisines
      And for eating the Dean
      I really do fear he was fired!

    6. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      I'm back with a few words to say
      I went riding my bike on this day
      I ran out of puff
      Said I've had enough
      so went off to sleep in the hay.

    7. Paraglider profile image93
      Paragliderposted 15 years ago

      There was an old codger whose spider
      was hungry for sex. He denied her,
      insisting she ought to
      be celibate. Not to
      distress her, he shot her and fried her.

      Her ghost (for they have them) returned
      to haunt him. She taunted - You spurned
      eight legged advances,
      d'you fancy your chances
      surviving the shade that you burned?

      He said (I know this is pathetic)
      I thought you were peripatetic,   
      bestowing your favours
      on shakers and ravers
      alike - you were always athletic.

      She said - I was certainly pliable
      my suppleness quite undeniable
      but wasn't I worthy
      of something less earthy
      than redefinition as friable?

      1. earnestshub profile image70
        earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Definitive! Superb! Bravo!

    8. marcofratelli profile image80
      marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

      I'm off to Brisbane for work
      My boss over there's a big jerk
      But the city is ace
      Fell in the love with the place
      But the job just gets me beserk

      I'm a train ride away from the coast
      I might see Steve Irwin's ghost
      At Australia Zoo
      Feeding kangaroos
      So cool! (I don't mean to boast)

      Then down at Surfer's Paradise
      At the beach there, to be quite precise
      All the ladies are hot
      Showing off what they've got
      So discreetly, I'll try to look twice!!

      1. earnestshub profile image70
        earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Beautiful work Marco!

    9. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      I'm tired, it's late, I have flue
      there is little I feel I can do
      but try to write one
      be a son of a gun
      and stay in the chair with some glue

    10. marcofratelli profile image80
      marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

      Thanks mate, but I feel a bit rusty
      All my rhymes are a little bit dusty
      It has been a while
      So I'm not versatile
      Like when snot can make boogers, some crusty smile

      1. Paraglider profile image93
        Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        A wonderful turn at the end
        from Marco, our flexible friend.
        Some say he's a bit
        of a wonder with wit
        and some say he's quite round the bend!

        1. earnestshub profile image70
          earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          A twisted mind I can handle
          to Marco I can't hold a candle
          funny and witty
          honest and gritty
          I'm happy to pass him the mandle.

    11. SparklingJewel profile image69
      SparklingJewelposted 15 years ago

      Oh, what glorious fun
      To make such limericky pun
      It's lasting effects can be thrilling
      And often uncontrollably chilling
      But I shall not shun them, not one

    12. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      Time for another limerick.

      I copied this from myself. I originally put it in the incredibly silly religious forum.

      You'll notice that in megalomania
      the people all think they are brainier
      The sad truth is they
      washed their brains right away
      which leave them a little insaneia

    13. profile image0
      Ghost32posted 15 years ago

      Earnest, I look in the mirror
      The reflection looks queerer and queerer
      I washed out my brain
      It went down the drain
      Yet still I look highly superior! lol

      1. earnestshub profile image70
        earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        I looked in a mirror one day
        they had to take it away
        is that really me?
        I don't wanna see!
        I won't look again if you pay!

    14. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      The limerick thread is so quiet
      I'm thinking of starting a riot
      of words like dissuasive
      and be quite evasive
      then make up a word just to try it.

    15. profile image0
      Ghost32posted 15 years ago

      If we need to make up a word
      Perhaps we could use Hagathird
      Which stands for the type
      Who is so full of tripe
      He shakes like a featherless bird

      1. earnestshub profile image70
        earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        I remember the ball bearing bird
        It is said that it's never been heard
        I think that is crazy
        the bird is so lazy
        and probably dumb as a turd

        1. profile image0
          Ghost32posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Okay, just one last bad rhyme
          Though truly I've not got the time
          That bird bearing balls
          Is bouncing off walls
          And making the cuckoo clock chime

          1. earnestshub profile image70
            earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Salutations ghost. you are one very funny dude! lol lol

    16. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      Ghost we're both on 92
      is there somethin we should orta do?
      if we stay the same digit
      it will make me fidget
      then write one hub more than you do.

    17. profile image0
      Ghost32posted 15 years ago

      I care but so little for score
      And care to build my new home more
      When we're in the house
      And chase out the mouse
      Hub Rank won't be such a bore

      Which brings me to sadly confess
      The clock on the wall is a mess
      I've got to sleep now
      Or by the dawn, Wow!
      I'll curse Limerick's bawdy address

    18. Sexy jonty profile image58
      Sexy jontyposted 15 years ago

      can anybody tell me what is meaning of Limericks

      1. earnestshub profile image70
        earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        A limerick is a poem with 5 lines.
        It is very complex in a way, as the first second and fifth line has about nine syllables and the the third and fourth lines usually have five or six syllables and rhyme seperately, and that is why they can be changed a little from the formula but not much.

        1. Sexy jonty profile image58
          Sexy jontyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Hey earnest thanks ...... you are very impressive .....

          1. earnestshub profile image70
            earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Most kind, thank you, and I think I feel a limerick coming on! lol

    19. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      The day has been long and hardworking
      although I had no time for shirking
      I found enough time
      to do one more rhyme
      to keep my limerick mates smirking.

    20. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      It has reached that time of the day
      when I'm heading off for the hay
      I'll grab me some kip
      then lickety split
      I will dream of whatever I may!

    21. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      working all day is a drag
      less time for being a dag
      so when it gets tough
      I shout "thats enough"
      then come here to suck on a fag.

    22. profile image0
      Ghost32posted 15 years ago

      That last line Earnest has written
      Could well get a gay fellow smitten
      I know you'd not mean it
      But me, I would screen it
      Before a great writer gets bitten! lol

      1. VacationAustralia profile image67
        VacationAustraliaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Fag don't mean that in Australia
        or else I am headin for failure
        You guys talk funny
        just like bugs bunny
        if I wanna talk dirty I'll mail ya! smile

    23. Dee Dee MonSherie profile image60
      Dee Dee MonSherieposted 15 years ago

      I see here our Ghost Understood
      That Ernest was referring to wood
      Inept I may be
      It occurred just to me
      That a cigarette is sucked as it should!

    24. VacationAustralia profile image67
      VacationAustraliaposted 15 years ago

      It is so long since I posted here
      the thread is near dead now I fear
      It is a real shame
      with no one to blame
      so I'll add one and not shed a tear!

      1. prettydarkhorse profile image64
        prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        it is not yet dead my dear,
        it is just starting to appear
        dont just disappear
        you get more everytime you appear

        1. earnestshub profile image70
          earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          prettydarkhorse you're a dear
          we sure need some help around here!
          some of the rhymers
          are only one timers
          when I want to rhyme for a year.

    25. VacationAustralia profile image67
      VacationAustraliaposted 15 years ago

      Since prettydarkhorse came to write
      we could win the limerick fight
      to keep alive
      rhyme that can thrive
      when written with love and not spite.

      It's time to do it again
      I don't mind the limerick pain
      limerick first aid
      by a pretty young maid
      is welcome as summertime rain!

    26. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      I should try to make one that's funny
      maybe starring a riotous bunny
      who loses the plot
      when he sits on the pot
      producing a substance that's runny.

    27. VacationAustralia profile image67
      VacationAustraliaposted 15 years ago

      Writing all day is good fun
      but after the writing is done
      I need a rhyme
      to help pass the time
      so now I'm delivering one.

    28. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 15 years ago

      Said the girl to the knight in her fantasy,
      Are you a vision, or real to me?
      He said well it would seem
      that I'm just a dream
      'Cause I'm here and then gone, you see.

    29. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      Brenda it's good when you rhyme
      you should do it all of the time
      a giggle amuses
      it seldom confuses
      while making our time usage prime.

    30. VacationAustralia profile image67
      VacationAustraliaposted 15 years ago

      I love a good rhyme or nice prose
      or a limerick sharp on it's toes
      if it's nippy and bright
      it suits me alright
      I can whistle it out of my nose.

    31. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      Hey there you limerick lover
      come out from under your cover
      spin me a yarn
      about an old barn
      that houses a psychotic plover.

    32. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      I hope that this thread hasn't died
      We near reached the sky then it fried
      Lets do it again
      come take up your pen
      and do a quick verse on the side.

    33. earnestshub profile image70
      earnestshubposted 15 years ago

      Where are the limerick mob?
      Are they at work in their job?
      They should all be here
      to drink the free beer
      and carry on like a yob!

    34. Bibowen profile image94
      Bibowenposted 15 years ago

      Who started this line again?
      Just someone who's dying to be read.
      Just rhyming away
      when it's a work-a-day
      He deserves a smart smack on the head.

    35. profile image0
      cosetteposted 15 years ago

      There once was a young man named Eenis
      Who had quite a substantial penis
      Earth girls thought him a bore
      'Cause with their toys they did score
      So he hopped the first rocket to Venus.

    36. profile image0
      cosetteposted 15 years ago

      There once was a hubber from Minsk
      Who thought all online lovers were finks
      Until the right man did beckon
      And said cool words like "reckon"
      Now her thoughts are in blues and in pinks.

    37. HubChief profile image75
      HubChiefposted 15 years ago

      a limerick is a kind of wine
      that leaves hangover everytime
      may one drink it
      may one smell it
      everyone returns to this shrine

    38. HubChief profile image75
      HubChiefposted 15 years ago

      limerick rock on every occasion
      i made those in personal vacation
      the events rocked
      everyone shocked
      how hubchief became a limerickation

    39. Sara Tonyn profile image61
      Sara Tonynposted 15 years ago

      I'll give it a try what the heck
      My keyboard I'll hunt and I'll peck
      But I must confess
      I started to press
      And now it's a pain in the neck

    40. marcofratelli profile image80
      marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

      Aha, someone found this thread!
      I've been searching so long, like I said
      I love me a rhyme
      (Almost all of the time)
      When I don't, I just write hubs instead...

      But alas! All those hubs are in verse!
      Like some Paddy has put me a curse...
      HubChief, don't go makin'
      up words, Sara's achin'
      Show me a limerick in reverse!

    41. theirishobserver. profile image59
      theirishobserver.posted 15 years ago

      Bill was the best,
      Even in a vest,
      Dam you Monica
      You are a pest

    42. HubChief profile image75
      HubChiefposted 15 years ago

      limerick went so far
      that hub mob forgot this shining star
      I am bringing it back
      to continue the stack
      and write these hotricks with high bar

    43. profile image0
      wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

      I've so missed this fabulous thread!
      Although it deprives me of my marvelous bed.
      I miss my limericians
      they're crafty technicians
      but don't let that go to your head.

    44. HubChief profile image75
      HubChiefposted 15 years ago

      hub mob getting to limricks page
      crafty limricians back in shape
      some more to come
      in this empty drum
      keep enjoying this delicious cake

    45. profile image0
      wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

      The limerick's cake tastes of chocolate
      my indulgence I have to admit.
      Our art's misunderstood
      if only people could
      taste from our marvelous wit.

    46. HubChief profile image75
      HubChiefposted 15 years ago

      limricks are a special taste
      does not attract people in haste
      needs attention
      not to mention
      its not merely cut and paste

    47. profile image0
      wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

      Someone once tried the cut and paste
      Paraglider was stunned and defaced.
      Put an end to it fast
      we were all aghast
      that limerician was quickly replaced.

    48. HubChief profile image75
      HubChiefposted 15 years ago

      good to know about this history
      paraglider is true twistery
      we'd keep it alive
      till everyone jive
      limricks have their own chemistry

     
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