Insults. What is the WORST one you can dish?!

1. 45

   WaffleCheeseposted 14 years ago

   Now I know personal attacks are not allowed. That is not the purpose here.
   
   But really, what is the worst insult you can give someone?
   
   
   Now, this is by no means the worst, but I cannot think of anything more emasculating than to tell a guy: "Why are you such a whiner?"
   
   
   Ouch..... so cutty.

   replyreport
   1. 49

      PirateGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I know what you mean, I am a bit of a tom boy and I hate being called manly !

      replyreport
   2. 60

      lbtraderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Bring on the hype...

      replyreport
   3. 94

      viryaboposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Don't have an answer because i'm not angry enough now. I have to be angry enough to spit fire, and it takes a lot to make me angry!

      replyreport
2. 94

   rmcrayneposted 14 years ago

   "Waste of human flesh."

   replyreport
3. 67

   lrohnerposted 14 years ago

   Oh how atomswifey of you!

   replyreport
   1. 80

      LondonGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      To quote Dr. Johnson, "Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good"

      replyreport
4. 0

   ralwusposted 14 years ago

   You're so dam stupid I bet you would drink wet cement to get stoned!

   replyreport
   1. 45

      WaffleCheeseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      That was actually quite funny.

      replyreport
   2. 81

      shai77posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Love that one :-)

      replyreport
      1. 81

         shai77posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Loved :-)

         replyreport
5. 82

   Uninvited Writerposted 14 years ago

   An old George Carlin one... your breath is so bad you could knock a buzzard off a s**t wagon...

   replyreport
   1. 45

      WaffleCheeseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      your Momma is so fat she has a real horse on her polo shirt.
      
      
      
      And yes, I'm aware I immaturely put a yo momma joke on.

      replyreport
      1. 94

         rmcrayneposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I'm a HUGE fan of Yo Mama!

         replyreport
6. 77

   Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

   Gotta admit I laughed OUT LOUD at yours, irohner.

   replyreport
   1. 67

      lrohnerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      

      replyreport
   2. 60

      Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ME TOO!  Like LAUGHED OUT LOUD!

      replyreport
7. 0

   ralwusposted 14 years ago

   You are afraid nobody will remember you when you're gone. Hah! I can think of several reasons you’ll be remembered. You won't like any of them, but I can think of them.

   replyreport
8. 77

   Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

   Gosh, this is hard. I must be more civilized than I thought....
   
   How about: I should care because.....

   replyreport
9. 77

   Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

   ralwus -- you are channeling samuel clemens!

   replyreport
10. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    Who's he. A dead Poet?

    replyreport
11. 67

    lrohnerposted 14 years ago

    Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory!

    replyreport
12. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    And someone told me you had mud pack once and you looked great for a few days until it fell off.

    replyreport
13. 67

    lrohnerposted 14 years ago

    Ah, you'll never be the man your mother is.

    replyreport
14. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    Hahaha, and you could make an onion cry!

    replyreport
    1. 67

       lrohnerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Ooooops! You dropped your personality!

       replyreport
15. 0

    sandra rinckposted 14 years ago

    Your mother asked for another baby when you were born. lololol

    replyreport
16. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    Oh Saandra, I remember when you were arrogant and obnoxious, but now you're just the opposite:obnoxious and arrogant.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       sandra rinckposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       ar,ar,ar.  I ran into your mother yesterday at McDonalds.  You know what she said? 
       
       Nothing her face was too full to speak.

       replyreport
       1. 0

          ralwusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          hahaha, yeah she was a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

          replyreport
          1. 0

             sandra rinckposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Yeah, that's what he said.

             replyreport
17. 59

    R P Chapmanposted 14 years ago

    your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries!

    replyreport
    1. 0

       sandra rinckposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       lololololol

       replyreport
    2. 0

       ralwusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hmmm, I like elderberries, so did dad, elderberry wine. LOL Well,
       you were such an ugly baby your mother tried to put you up for adoption and keep the placenta.

       replyreport
18. 77

    Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

    LOL Ralwus. Samuel Clemens is Mark Twain!

    replyreport
    1. 0

       ralwusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh yeah, well I had a brain fart I reckon. hehe

       replyreport
19. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    What took ya so long. We missed you, yeah like a, a well we missed you anyway. LOL

    replyreport
    1. 80

       LondonGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Some good ones which could be adapted as hub criticisms:
       
       "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others" Dr. Johnson
       
       "He has delusions of adequacy"  can't remember who

       replyreport
20. 77

    Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

    Oooh. Brain fart -- there's gotta be something workable there.

    replyreport
21. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    OK, Sam Clemens had an inferiority complex... and it's fully justified. When he got old anyway.

    replyreport
22. 81

    Tom Cornettposted 14 years ago

    One by Pam Grundy...."I wish I could buy you for what you are worth and sell you for what you think you are worth!" 

    replyreport
23. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    MM tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in her nose. Is that dumb or what?

    replyreport
24. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    Tom Cornett may not look like much, but believe it or not he shows up many of the great thinkers of our age. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating. But at least he's disproved Darwin's theory of evolution.

    replyreport
    1. 81

       Tom Cornettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       And I can make toast too!

       replyreport
       1. 45

          WaffleCheeseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          ha!

          replyreport
25. 80

    LondonGirlposted 14 years ago

    "Are you trying to be funny?" - my Dad reckons that's about the worst.
    
    Some of my faves:
    
    1. Dorothy Parker was always good value, saying about Katherine Hepburn, "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B", and in a book review, "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
    
    
    2. "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
    
    said by someone I don't know or can't remember, about President Nixon
    
    3. A Victorian one:
    
    ""He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts; for support, rather than illumination"
    
    4. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"
    
    Churchill
    
    5. And, about an actor, "he played The King as if someone was about to play the ace"

    replyreport
26. 82

    Uninvited Writerposted 14 years ago

    Dorothy Parker had the best insults

    replyreport
    1. 80

       LondonGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       She did indeed - I think it was her book review column that said about Pooh Bear, "Tonstant Weader frowed up"

       replyreport
    2. 88

       Bibowenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Wasn't she the one who, when told that Calvin Coolidge was dead, said, "But, how could you tell"?

       replyreport
27. 76

    Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

    Well if they send one man to the moon
    Why cant they send them all there

    replyreport
28. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    All great one LG.

    replyreport
29. 0

    sandra rinckposted 14 years ago

    most of the insults I know are likely to get me banned.

    replyreport
    1. 76

       Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Well just leave out the f? in  fruitcake

       replyreport
       1. 0

          sandra rinckposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I almost blew cheeseburger chunks.

          replyreport
30. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    Well now we can't have that can we? censor them a wee bit then.

    replyreport
31. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    Haha Well you had a brain transplant, but the brain rejected ya.

    replyreport
32. 76

    Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

    If you sold your brain ,it would be worth millions ,mint condition even!
    Its had no use

    replyreport
33. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    It's been a slice of heaven ladies and remember, good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.
    
    Aand Sandra, a bad day of fishing always ends in a good night's drinking. Right? bye all peace, CC

    replyreport
    1. 0

       sandra rinckposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Till next time.

       replyreport
34. 59

    ScarletRyan1970posted 14 years ago

    Where exactly did you come from?
    Your Mother's a - NUS.

    replyreport
35. 74

    thranaxposted 14 years ago

    Your actions remind me of whatever causes that smell in the bathroom.
    
    (say that to someone and half of them won't even take it as an insult due to the lack of understanding what was said)
    ~thranax~

    replyreport
36. 0

    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    I've tried to wean myself from delivering insults--used to get way, WAY too much enjoyment out of the process--but will post one referring to me, stated by the prettiest girl in our high school class (on whom I had an enormous crush and never dared ask out), and overheard by my best friend:
    
    "That Fred Baker may not be bad looking, but GOD what a personality!"    All true!  When you're a 17 year old, testosterone laden, afraid-of-pretty-girls, egotistical, bronc and bull riding young cowboy, that WILL put you in your place!

    replyreport
37. 60

    geminimoonposted 14 years ago

    m***** f****** t**** s****** b*** b***** b**** !

    replyreport
38. 82

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    Banjo Patterson has few equals when it came to insults.
    I put them in a poetry hub, but could not put them here. Too Blue!!!

    replyreport
39. 60

    dutchman1951posted 14 years ago

    Oh Crap! That round thing on your shoulders is your face?

    replyreport
40. 88

    Bibowenposted 14 years ago

    Some of the sharpest are H.L. Mencken's choice words for FDR. Historian Paul Johnson records that Mencken called FDR the "'Fuhrer,' the 'Quack,' surrounded by 'an astonishing rabble of impudent nobodies,' 'a gang of half-educated pedagogues, nonconstitutional lawyers, starry-eyed uplifters and other such sorry wizards.' His New Deal was a 'political racket,' a 'series of stupendous bogus miracles,' with its 'constant appeals to class envy and hatred.'" (History of the American People, p. 762)

    replyreport
41. 68

    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    "I'm really Pleased To Meet you... So many times I've wanted to ask you how long you've suffered from Achne"

    replyreport
42. 88

    Bibowenposted 14 years ago

    It appears that, while others drank from the fountain of knowledge, you only gargled.

    replyreport
    1. 76

       Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I like that one , I want it mounted on my wall in BOLD letters

       replyreport
43. 68

    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    If the fresh taste of knowledge offends you; then please try the raw fish!

    replyreport
44. 60

    dutchman1951posted 14 years ago

    Was you Mother a contorshionist?
    Your Head is stretched so Big!

    replyreport
45. 46

    shamelabboushposted 14 years ago

    Will quote from the Ice Age: You're a disgrace to nature!

    replyreport
    1. 0

       ralwusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       hehe Well it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

       replyreport
46. 69

    JulietduPreezposted 14 years ago

    Crumbs, I can't think of one insult!

    replyreport
47. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    Think girl, think. hehe
    You are useless on top of the ground. You should be under it inspiring the worms.

    replyreport
48. 49

    BadCoposted 14 years ago

    The best part of you ran down yer fathers leg !

    replyreport
49. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    He obviously doesn't suffer from split personality. I mean, if he did, why would he use this one?

    replyreport
50. 49

    BadCoposted 14 years ago

    I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

    replyreport