Please hear me this is o no doing from HP. I am furious lawyers approached them to deliver a warning of lawsuit for my hub.
Specifically my daughter has no mother.
I was asked to remove all names pertaining to my x's family. As a writer I should have known better than to state anyones full name without prior consent.
This was fine with me,, I would revise, republish.
I spoke to my x to confirm I had done so but he further added he would take serious action if my daughters name was mentioned anywhere including comments. To keep the hub I was to use an alias name for her and delete all 400 comments.
This was driven given he had full custody and was looking out for her safety given my followers were clearly crack heads and a grave danger for criminal activity towards my daughter. Further action will be taken if her name is mention anywhere else in my writings. I have not been a mother to her in a decade and legally hold no regard in any respect about her. This includes reviewing 4,000 comments, 647 fan comments, hubtivity, features, interviews and hubs.
I decided to unpublished finally as how can I express my truth to a false identity. 4,000 page views, 400 comments, scored 100, 17 front page features and dozens of featured articles. But mostly her.
I wrote from my heart and healed somewhat in truth, found comport in you and validation to speak freely.
Everything happens for a reason and I hope I know one day I will know this one also.
I really want to thank you so much and let you know why it is now unpublished. Silenced.
She (my daughter) needs truth and it will come when it's suppose to. How, who knows.
Not need be decided today
Sorry about the hub I'm creating here but I had to say something, I owe you at least that.
You should also keep a copy of your original post on this forum, and most of the other comments to show your daughter in later years. Also keep copies of ALL the comments on your original hub so your daughter can read these too in the future.
Have you ever considered fighting for part custody of your daughter now you are "clean" for so long?" That would be great and you would get a chance for your daughter to get to know you for herself. Plus it would really pee off your ex and his family!!
For future articles /hubs perhaps always keep in mind fictious names are safer for everyone involved many authors do this already.
To Your Best Life
Very disappointed at reading what is happening. I didn't think things could get this serious, and i wish you all the best.
You are a very strong person, you will come through it all and succeed in the future. It's a pity people are always trying to cause problems for others in society. Kicking them while their down or becoming jealous of other people's success.
Don't worry, an old English saying 'what goes around comes around!'.
I'm terribly sorry to hear about what happened to you. I for one always loved your writings, and I think it's a tad ridiculous that you're being forced to unpublished your hubs. I can understand the changing names part, but not the whole part where they want you to delete all the comments as well. I mean, you have no control over what people comment, so why should that be a condition too. Oh well, maybe it's just me since I don't have a law degree to know what's legal and what's not, but I do know what seems right and what's wrong. And this whole ordeal your having to go through sounds wrong. maybe im naive for saying that, but that's just my two cents on it. i hope you'll be okay lyrics.
Jesus... This is so ridiculous.
Honey, If you do decided to re-publish and use an alias, You know that theres going to be another 400+ comments on it!
No one has the right to attack you the way I feel you've been attacked. And for that, I am sorry.
Love you Kimberly. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to
Keep your head up!
Well, it should have happened sooner or later. I feel for you Kimberly, but looks like there is not much you can do here at that point in time. Store comments somewhere for yourself, change the names, and republish. I think that is the best course of action for now.
We are with you ♥
Or print it all out (and I mean everything). Store it somewhere for safekeeping then give it to your daughter on her 18th birthday. I know this will take some years but legal or not, unpublished or not, she needs to know that her mother loves her and wrote something for her when she was still young.
So sorry to hear that Kim . You were brave to let it all out and heal yourself in the process. Hope this will not set you back. Keep writing and healing. We're all rooting for you.
I will email you on monday. if thats ok?
Life can suck, youll be ok. Small minded people cant relate.
This is so unfortunate, I'm sorry it happened this way Lyric. Yes, definitely keep a copy for the future.
Hi Kimberly! I haven't been on-line for at least a week or so, and saw the thread tonight for the first time regarding that ill-natured, insesitive comment. I looked for the Hub, but couldn't find it ... now I know why.
I'm really sorry all this is happening to you. It sounds as though Misha might have a good idea, although I'm sad that you've had to unpublish in the first place.
There's still so much ignorance in the world, in spite of all the education we receive.
I'd love to help in any way I could, and I sincerely hope you find a solution.
I thought it was a beautiful lens.
Definitely print it out and keep it to show her when she's an adult.
So sorry you are going through this.
Your all right. I'll always have it published or not - then I can keep it forever
you all have a way with great means to simplify and put things in perspective
enough on this
let's highjack this thread
tic tac anyone?
Sorry to hear this, but as others have said. keep a copy. Your fans know the truth about you, so no more needs to be done.
To share your experience is truly couragous, and it helps others. Anyone who stops you is just plain selfish. (I picked up what the article was about from the thread on that comment, in case you're wondering)
So sorry to hear this Lyrics, but x's can cause all sorts of problems....If we let them...Keep a copy for your daughter for when she is older. Take care and keep writing.
Wow I am sorry to hear that you are going though even more crap, Lyrics. I hope that you do keep the comments, the nice comments and do as the others say print out everything. *hugs*
Kim, I know you're tired of talking about all this. You have my support, and the support of the hundreds and hundreds of people that care about you here.
That really sux but I'm glad I was able to read it and comment before it was unpublished and I'm certain there are many many more here that feel the same. It took guts to write it and it takes guts to own those words and for that I'm proud to be your fan. Maybe someday you'll publish something similar in print and your daughter will find it and know the woman you wanted her to know.
I just saw your e-mail to me. This is terrible but can be overcome. Take the advice you have been so freely given. Print it all now! and remember, If the weak hand, that has recorded this tale, has, by its scenes, beguiled the mourner of one hour of sorrow, or, by its moral, taught him to sustain it - the effort, however humble, has not been vain, nor is the writer unrewarded. I am here for you. Let me know if you want to talk. Love ya........
I disagree with everyone else.
If I were you, I would open another HubPages account using your real name. Then I'd republish the Hub under that account, just not mentioning actual names.
Unfortunately you can't transfer the comments, but then I'm sure everyone will pitch in to comment anyway.
The thing is, provided your daughter knows who you are, the fact that the Hub exists against your real name will mean she can find it some day. And people who know you, will know exactly who you're talking about.
lyrics- Its inspiring to see you stay strong. I am currently not in a similar situation but a situation in which I feel so helpless and down.
We just need to stay positive in knowing that one day, it'll out work out and we'll be in a better place to understand and get over it.
I' sorry to hear about this and it's unfortunate for both you and your daughter. I agree with the suggestions above, especially Marisa's. Big hugs for you. You know I'm here for you. xox
One step forward, ten steps back. Healing is never linear, is it?
You are so brave, so talented, and so loved here.
You have every right to write your truth.
Given everything you've already endured from your ex and his family, I would think it's not worth it to "test" this threat. It's real.
But... I love the idea of printing out the Hub with comments to save for your daughter.
I also agree that opening a new HP account under a new name and reposting it -- with "guilty" names disguised -- is a great idea (Marissa - you are brilliant). Not just for you, but for the THOUSANDS of readers who deserve to benefit from your story!!
Hugs and much love to you, MM
Kim...she will find you...time to take it higher...God is waiting for you....I tried to warn you of who it was...you did nothing to jeaporidize..someone is just controlling and keeps a watchful eye. Peace.
Hi Kimberly, This is sad to know that all these are happening to one of my favourite hubbers. Am writing this with a heavy heart. The only thing I can say at this point is that am right behind you here from Nigeria (i wish i could be there to see if i can physically help)
Cheers sweet heart
Your ex and his family just seem plain evil Kimberly, I am not even sure they have the legal right to make you unpublish your hub as the content being true leaves you not having breached any laws surely!! Why don't you follow Marisa's advice and republish it under a different name, but to be sure that you haven't given too much away change the names just ever so slightly, e.g. I did something similar on one of my hubs, and changed the name of a man from his real name "Steve" to "Stephan", and a woman's name from "Joy" to "Joyce". That way anyone with a slight brain or knowledge of you and your situation can work out who it is referring to for themselves.
By the way, doesn't all of your followers being called "crackheads" constitute slander (if spoken) or libel (if written). Golly, we could all sue your ex for this and bankrupt him and his family in compensation
Lyrics although the written word has tremendous power your love and emotions are more powerful. Nobody can take the truth away from you and unpublishing the hub does not change anything. Your daughter will learn more from you than what she could have from the hub. When you speak to her face to face she will see the pain, suffering and love much more intensely than had she read the hub.
Be strong - it's the only way you will be able to live to tell her the truth!
By all means keep all of your material in a safe place, published or unpublished, preferably with backup. Who knows; you may win the Lottery one day and have the means to go kick these people around the Looney Tunes in court. (Truth being a time tested defense...if you've got the coin to play the game.)
And you never know. The time COULD come when your daughter comes into your life as an adult, asking, "Why didn't you--?" At which point, your response of , "Let me show you something...." could make all the difference.
Anything Pam and I can do, as always, just yell.
P.S. I qualify as being able to comprehend at least a little of what you're going through. My 2 biological daughters are now in their forties (the younger turns 40 in July) and have been estranged to since they were young children. There are signs that might finally be cracking, but far from any guarantee.
Sorry to keep chipping in here Kimberly, but I am so mad for you right now that I can't switch off. I was going to suggest you ask all the people who supported you on the original hub to email you their thoughts and testimonials on the content of that hub and your situation and personality. You could then print these off and keep a stack of them ready to not only show your daughter in the years to come, but also as evidence for any court case against your Ex with regards to his slander of us Hubbers, and as character recommendations for you to prove your suitability for part custody of your daughter.
I certainly wouldn't delete your 400 original comments from the hub, and no matter how long it takes I would go through them comment by comment and only delete the ones that call your daughter by name. I would then be inclined to republish it with the relevant edit's made to the main text, and possibly an explanation at the bottom of the hub about why you have been forced to make certain changes, along with a link to this forum thread. See what they can do about that!!
He can't make you delete 400 comments if they don't break any laws!
I was going to suggest exactly this... republish the hub after taking out the name mentions etc. but definitely keep a copy of all the comments on the hub and both threads too.
Sorry you're going through a rough time Lyrics.
Here is a giant Mom hug for you
While I sympathize with your plight, I feel real names should never have been written. By doing so you open yourself up for just this kind of reaction, not to mention, possible legal ramifications. A story, true or otherwise, can always be told without using real names. Just my opinion.
Hope things work out for you.
Maybe this thread should be deleted and Lyrics should do what she has to do, without seeking advice in the forums.
Kimberly.... This is absolute BS.
Unless a Court Order has been made to 'gag' you legally.... the rest is irrelevant; and as such; you have no legal obligation to react to it. I suggest you take the time to learn your legal rights, before you allow any EX bluff you with such Crap.
You stand your ground! ...... This sort of rubbish was quite predictable given the earlier actions of the spy who rattled your cage with her comments (DB...Whatever). Trump the BS Legally Yourself... you will find you have more power (and Rights) than you think! Ask a Real Lawyer instead of getting sucked into this.
Kick Arse .... Don't Conceed to BS Games.
Kimberly, it is 2.50pm in Ireland and I am just joining the forums as I had a busy day. I am gutted that your honesty and integrity has been challenged in this way. I enjoy our fun and games on the threads and it is with heartfelt saddness that I read about what has happened to you.
You have been one of the great motivators to me here on the Hubs and I hope that your strength of character prevails in this situation. I said to you last week on this topic and I say to you again, let the Devil take care of his own.
Continue hubbing knowing that you have many friends and supporters here. God Bless.
Unless they are accusing you of defamation, I don't see how they can do anything to you. Your X has custody as I recall, so, if you have somehow lost all legal powers over the child, he can require you to remove last name reference to your daughter if she's a minor (might not even be able to do that), but but beyond that, I don't think they can do anything at all to you. Sounds like he's bullying you with the lawyers.
I'm not a lawyer, but I've taken enough writing courses covering that sort of thing to know that libel is only libel if it can be proved libelous, which has lots of components and is not easy to do at all - truth is hardly a concrete thing when it comes to memoir (which is essentially what you have written). It is also expensive to prove libel. If, on the other hand, the events are true, they cannot legally require you to stop telling your own story, which by the nature of human life includes other people. Your memories are YOUR memories. You cannot be silenced in a land of free speech so long as you are not defaming anyone. It's your life, you own your version of the story. Period.
I think they tried to bully you and it worked. I'd take out last names (if there are any, which I don't recall there being) and tell him to go F- himself. Let him take you to court.
Here Here, and you should listen to Shades Kimberly, he is probably the wisest and most articulate Hubber I have EVER known. Truly!!
Oh, and just a quick PS, I don't think your ex would want this to go to court as your daughter is bound to find out at some point in time that he sued her Mother for writing an online article about how much she missed and loved the daughter that was taken from her and KEPT from her. Can you begin to imagine how much she would end up resenting her Father for this, even hating him in the long run?? I don't think he will want to take that chance somehow.
Also Kimberly, if you don't have a restraining order against you, can't you contact your daughter by simply making contact directly with her, after school or whenever, and explaining things gently to her, in other words telling her how much you do love her, and you will be waiting when she is ready to contact you?
Actually given that you have published the truth your right to expression and free speech is guaranteed by the Fist Amendment to the United States Constitution. This provision precludes anyone or any court from silencing your words whether written or spoken.
In that you have published the truth, stated names are of no consequence and no breach of truthfulness has been committed nor have you associated any of these persons in a libelous fashion.
That you are located in Canada should not be of consequence since the publishing platform is based in the United States and such protections are afforded you. I cannot advise you as to how the laws in Canada pertaining to this situation are applied, however from the little you have described it appears those attempting to silence you have libeled the community you are associated with and specifically those whom supported you in the forums and in commenting.
I am not addressing the specifics of your hub, but the protections offered the work of authorship. For, if you can be silenced, we all could be.
HUGS Kimberly, Since you unpublished already I hope you did secure a copy so that someday your daughter can read it.
Stay strong Lyrics...you little girl will someday know the truth! xoxoxoxoxox
Republish the hub, only this time take out all photos and names. This little girl will recognise who you are when she is old enough. I didn't want to join in before, but I thought the person who commented on your hub was correct.
Her immediate family, the ones who dumped you, had her best interests at heart. I know you do too.
You are a better person than you were then; you weren't in any fit state to look after yourself, never mind a child.
Now, you'd be a great Mom!
But please, protect your child's identity online, for her sake.
Lyrics - Stay strong and do your duty as you see it. We are with you thick or thin... Be true to yourself and your daughter she will appreciate that in her time. Love ya and lots o hugs kiddo...XXOO
So sorry to hear this, Lyrics. Must be heartbreaking enough to not have your daughter with you.
Keep writing. Keep all you can for her when she's older. She WILL appreciate it and understand how much you really cared for her all through the years.
I honestly see your point but as a mother I would not have ever published my child's name for fear of his/her safety we should always think before you write it could be detrimental to another person, I wish you the best , save it to give to her when she is older.
I think now you realized that who trolled on that hub. one thing you can do is make pdf of your hubs and keep the comments that way.just keep the hub with modification.
no matter what happens,hubbers are with you.
Lyrics, I respected that you shared your story but I to am a mom and using a child's name could have serious consequences. I do not know truly what the ripple is between you and your ex and there could be more to this , there is always two sides two a story but try to focus on getting your rights back and do not focus on what happened. Everything you share on here is public and could be used against you. I understand that you wanted to share your thoughts, feelings but look at what has occurred. I know you love your daughter but be responsible, close this thread and focus on seeing her, save your thoughts for when she is an adult, don't try to destroy who she is but love her for who she is going to become, she is a part of you and that cannot ever be taken away from you. You can do it!
I agree with the general consensus here-save it for her and give her your writings when she's of age. Stay out of the courts!
I came back and this has weighed heavy on my heart please do not be offended by what I am about to say but this is on my heart. Although you had to share your story about what happened with your daughter, yes you recieved a lot of comments and hits but putting her name on the Internet was negligent. I don't know if you did it to let people know or if you were trying to harm your ex but in either case this thread and writing about her may allow you to not ever have any contact with her no matter how hard you try. A mother takes into consideration her child's safety, the child's peers who may read it and what the reprecussions could be if they found out what his/her mother was really like. The comments and rankings should not be a factor and honestly this thread letting all of us know about what you are going through truly should not have been posted. I realize I am going to peeve off some fellow hubbers with my thoughts and I may upset you, but I am a mom to and have not nor would I ever share my child's information this thread could also hurt you for letting the entire Internet World know what he has done. Our child is more important then rankings and comments, slow down before you post, think about what you are doing. I am only going to be honest and I apologize if my thoughts may upset others on hubpages but this is only my perception on the matter and I again would recommend to close this thread or you could suffer consequences in the long run. If you truly love her fight for her , but do it privately if you should win. You may then write about all that you went through and all that you felt without any consequences.
I apologize but I cannot sugar coat my thoughts.
I don't recall Kimberly mentioning her child's surname in the hub though, and first names are hard NOT to duplicate in the world, i.e. it is unlikely to give much away to general public readers as a first name is not normally unique.
I do also feel it is important that the evidence is on record as to how Kimberly has been treated by her ex, and what people think on the subject. A judge may well see this thread and the comments as a positive, rather than simply condemning her based on what her poisonous ex and his family are saying.
Personally to do nothing seems to be as good as giving up to me, and then he wins, and the only two people really miss out are Kimberly, and her daughter not knowing the love her Mother held for her, or how her Mother was treated. Just imagine how awful Kimberly's daughter might feel if she had been told her Mum abandoned her, when actually she didn't know that never happened, and her own Father was actually lying to her, (as well as now panicking like mad that his lies may be found out if their little girl reads the hub in question).
What would you do in Kimberly's situation??
I do also feel it unfair to suggest Kimberly wrote this based on "getting comments" and "rankings", as I am sure this was the last thing on her mind, and she simply needed to get this off her mind and "out there" in order to feel better and vindicated as to the suffering she had endured from her former partner and his family.
Sorry, but that is just how I feel on the subject.I would fight to the bitter end to keep 'the truth' out there.
Your child is with you, and Kim has lost hers.
I think you should THINK before posting.
Because what you say is harmful.
Your case it's not Kimberly's. In fact it's not a case.
Just think what terrible thing is, not to be able to see your daughter, maybe never more. Not able to hug her or kiss her.
don't you have feelings ?. And can't you imagine that ??
I don't have to think before I publish they are only my thoughts, our child is adopted and I do have friends who do not see there child! I called my friend who is walking in the same shoes and per (Evie) she said she honestly would have not ever did such a thing which could have been detrimental to her daughter who she has not seen for 14 years so I am only expressing my opinion just like everyone expresses theirs. I am not going to sugar-coat my feelings it is simply not necessary. I knew I would get a behind chew but I to am entitled to my thoughts and if you read it, it also says that I apologize to those who it may offend which many people would not apologize. You remind me of my sister she likes to smack me on the hand every now and then too. lololo
Why don't you keep your opinions to yourself then, if you know you're going to hurt feelings ??
I really don't understand you.
i would never do something like that in a delicate case as this one.
Did you even read what I wrote? Was anyone delicate about what I felt when I wrote about Haiti? I was delicate to her I just expressed my opinion , I do realize she loves her daughter but sometimes, someone has to be honest and not sugar coat it. Everyone here seems to have a way with blasting people but God forbid if AE says something that does not side with someone. I read her hub and I felt her pain but many of us also told her to remove the name. I love Lyrics but my words stand and I will not change my thoughts and when a person truly cares for someone they tell them the truth and not lie to them about what they think. That is what a true friend does!
You have hurt people's feelings in delicate situations go back and read some of what you have wrote to others in past threads. You have mocked them, hurt them so my words were apologetic I just expressed what I had felt because that is what a true friend would do.
AEvans, you are right. I also warned Kimberley, much earlier, to delete her daughter's real name and birthdate in the Hub, because of internet predators.
I didn't think of the damage it might do to Kimberley's quest to regain access to her daughter, but I now think you have a good point. Clever lawyers have a nasty way of twisting words to suit their case. So perhaps I shouldn't have suggested republishing.
Marissa, don't beat yourself up over it yes those clever lawyers are ruthless my friend (Evie) dealt with them. I would have closed this thread and not allowed any more comments because they good and the bad could be used for or against her. Attorney's are corrupt! Well not all of them but many
I have a hard time with you suggesting lyrics did it for ratings and comments. I have talked with her off hubpages and I can tell you, NO WAY! People sometimes write because it is the only way they know to let go. All my hubs are personal.
We know he can, and we can assume at least his lawyers are!
Personally I think it is a shame that this censorship is being brought in, especially on a story which has touched so many.
Hi thisisoli, sorry, can you quote the post you were answering to as I am struggling to work out which one it was, but am guessing it will be a good response
just some thoughts here, in lyrics OP, I don't see that she asked anyone for advice or opinions and yet we've all said something, because we care about her.
maybe this is best left for her to make her own best choices.
I have never mocked a mother that lost her child !
Show me where!
Do you think I care what you say ?
I don't. Really !!
and don't bring Haiti in this thread. You weren't sensitive at all. That's why everybody post against you.
and a true frien would have talked to her in private, just as I have done !
Lyrics knows what I'm talking about !
so don't tell me about true friends. Pleaseee !!!
I did not mock her so you cannot discredit me what I told her is what she did by placing her child's name publicly was wrong and did not mean to hurt her feelings. Not all posted against me, some told me to stand my ground and if you do remember I apologized for being so angry. I honestly do not care what you think and I do not care if you are concerned, I do not care what you think about my comment either. You choose to find comments that go against the grain and then try to argue, you see Tantrum I adore you too no matter how naughty you can be. But just like you I am entitled to say what I feel so it was not harming her go back and read the thread it was telling her what I would not have done and what she should do so that she can see her daughter. Sharing your feelings on the internet based on what Country you reside in could lead to very detrimental effects. What are you going to do if her ex drags her through the mill? The laws are different? Are you going to pay for a defender? If you cared you would not believe that this thread is going to protect her. I personally wish for her to see her daughter but she did not listen to many of us even when we said to change the name, so I cannot comfort someone who will not listen especially after so many of us said to correct it! Sorry I cannot and will not do it, so be mad all you wish I still love you anyway.
'I honestly do not care what you think and I do not care if you are concerned, I do not care what you think about my comment either. '
And then :
'you see Tantrum I adore you too no matter how naughty you can be.'
You 'adore' me ,but you don't care what I say !
Let's not get dramatic ! This kind of 'Adoration' is not for me, thank you ! It makes me feel very unconfortable.
I admire you but again I do not care what you wish to say about my comment, who is uncomfortable the person wishing to try to sway the other side? Or the person who just replied? In any case although we may not always agree I still adore you anyway.
I can't believe you lot.
I have just come out of Hospital, and have just read what has happened to Kimberley.
I cannot believe what I am reading here.
All she has done, has advised her fellow hubbers of what has occurred. She has opened up her hearts to all of you, you who have been thee 100% behind her when she posted her hubs, especially that one.
From what I am reading, some of you are telling her what to do, others are saying what she shouldn't do and the rest are telling what a bad thing she did by posting this article. When all she has done has spoken from her heart, and this can't have been easy for her to come before you all like this, and reveal something that is obviously ripping out her heart in so many ways. Did you ever stop to think that Forums is like a telephone in a way, she is seeing everything you are saying, backwards and forwards amongst yourselves.
I too have been an intimate friend of Kimberley's since I joined Hubpages, and even though I have not been too active on this site, mainly because of illness, I have read a lot of things. I have only every thought of her as someone going through a very tough time, fighting many battles along the way, and needing our support a lot.
I am sure Kim is going through hell right now wondering how this is all going to turn out. She did not write this hub with any malicious intent to get back at anyone. As anyone of you who knows Kim would realise. In fact, none of us do this, we write anything as personal as this from our hearts and what pain we are feeling at the time sometimes has to come out in that writing.
I myself am crying at the moment writing this, but I just could not sit back and see this bantering going back and forth, knowing that my dear friend is also seeing this.
Please, all I am asking is that you consider her feelings in this and give her some space and time to heal from this upsetting and very frightning news. I am sure that Kimberley's daughter loves her mother very much and with all her heart.
I do agree that her husband has treating her appallingly in this regard, but what goes around comes around and he will get his just deserts.
I am not doing this to get on the wrong side of any of you, I value all of your friendship's too much for that, I just wanted you to all put yourselves in Kim's place, and think how you would feel seeing what was happening here.
I do hope you will understand why I felt I had to say all of this and not hold it against me. love Beautybabe.
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