Do you forgive people?

1. 69

   snagerriesposted 14 years ago

   Human beings are not perfect anyway, If your friends or workmates doing bad to you, do you forgive him?
   or you will angry forever or keep inside the heart forever?

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   1. 59

      lady_love158posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm very forgiving... but I don't forget!

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      1. 69

         snagerriesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         It happens..

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   2. 0

      cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      yes. life is short. Time is great for distilling down your anger factor. after a while you just don't care anymore and things that seemed so important once upon a time don't even register on your radar.
      
      except if someone hurt my son. i don't think i could forgive that.

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   3. 77

      thisisoliposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I am very forgiving, however people can go 'too far' with me, after which they are out.

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   4. 75

      schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      you should forgive......unless they are complete jerk and not sorry then you report or avoid
      
      i think.

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   5. 84

      Polly Cposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I usually forgive people. Life's too short to hold a grudge.  However, that doesn't mean I'd let them walk all over me..

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   6. 0

      Surabhi Kauraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I forgive them with the passage of time. I end up with a question, "Do I deserve to be free from that person or that situation?" The answer I get from myself is, "Yes, because I was innocent."
      
      If God can forgive those who commit mistakes, then why not we humans? If we'll forgive them, we'll surely feel the presence of God. 'Forgiveness' is a trait of God.
      
      We are human beings and it is an universal truth that humans commit mistakes. "To err is human." When we do mistakes, we want others to forgive us. Similarly, when they do mistakes, they want us to forgive them. So, one should happily embrace forgiveness.
      
      By forgiving those who have hurt you, you will free yourself from anger, bitterness and ego. Forgiving them, you will welcome and embrace happiness, joy, satisfaction and peace. Alexander pope has rightly said, "To err is human; to forgive divine." Believe it!

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2. 61

   JulesGeromeposted 14 years ago

   People that do me wrong are banned from my life. I don't want them near me. I don't seek revenge, but if the occasion comes, I will do them some harm, probably.

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3. 82

   camloposted 14 years ago

   I used to forgive people easily, but I've found it's better to do as JulesGerome - ban them from my life. If the wrong done to me causes me to lose something, I make sure I get it back - from them.
   I'm talking about deliberate 'wrong-doing', of course, and I've learned that if somebody does it once, they'll do it again.

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   1. 60

      Druid Dudeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You guys obviously have never raised any teenagers

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4. 61

   lxxyposted 14 years ago

   I forgive.
   
   I try to separate a person's actions from their true being.
   
   But sometimes when someone shows me hostile intent over and over, I find it's best to ignore and walk away.
   
   I don't need to fight with someone; it's a waste of their energy and mine.

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   1. 69

      snagerriesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Not bad at all.
      You need the sword of wisdom to dig out the seeds of bad memories.

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5. 0

   DoorMattnomoreposted 14 years ago

   I forgive. If its something that happens over and over, or something very serious, it may end a relationship. But I try my best to not hold a grudge. let them go on, and hopefully learn from their mistakes. Just not make those mistakes in MY life.

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6. 61

   CASE1WORKERposted 14 years ago

   i forgive and forget, being a little absent minded helps

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      sofsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Forgive of course, I don't want to bottle up negative emotion that are harmful to me!!

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   2. 69

      snagerriesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think forgiving is the best option but being absent minded doesnt help.

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7. 59

   pisean282311posted 14 years ago

   i do...

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8. 60

   Joe Badtoeposted 14 years ago

   I usually confuse those that do me wrong by beating myself up and then confronting them whilst my wounds are still fresh by shouting 'why did you do this to me?' they of course can't recall inflicting harm upon me which adds to their confusion, and preys on their mind as the guilt becomes a mountainous region that can't be climbed. This ensures a rapid descent into a haunting and tortured psychosis that requires immediate internment in a secure unit and a daily reliance on pills for several years.
   
   Then my work will be done.

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9. 60

   Chloe Comfortposted 14 years ago

   I too can be very forgiving - up to a point. I will always give someone a second chance but they had not better screw up again because they won't get a third. Forgetting - well, that is a whole other issue

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10. 0

    BRIAN SLATERposted 14 years ago

    you always want to try and forgive, whether you forget only time will tell.

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    1. 69

       snagerriesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       yaa but atleast we can try

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11. 64

    Info Bucketposted 14 years ago

    Usually I forgive them. But now, I am angry with one of my mate for some days.......

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    1. 69

       snagerriesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Yaa but I will suggest you not to drag this for too long

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12. 69

    Cagsilposted 14 years ago

    I have no reason to forgive anyone. I've already come to face the fact that they will make mistakes and accepted them for it.
    
    Therefore, nothing to forgive.

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13. 91

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    I forgive - perhaps too easily.

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14. 65

    Mishaposted 14 years ago

    Right after I kill them
    
    *devilish laugh*

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15. 0

    Uma07posted 14 years ago

    It is never too easy

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16. 61

    Daniel Carterposted 14 years ago

    It took me 45 years to forgive the abuse I lived through. But I forgave. By doing so I freed myself. The chains of hate were finally broken and I was freed.
    
    I don't forgive easily. I carry grudges. I work every day to let that old thinking go and remember how good it is to be free of hate and unkindness. It's a hell of a lot of work. I get tired of it. But I keep trying. It's worth it.
    
    There are some people, however, who will never be more than who they are right now--selfish, users, abusive and more. I cut them off immediately. No use in enabling them.

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    1. 0

       Uma07posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I agree with that Daniel. We can't change people but we can always avoid them.There are some people in my life whom I think I  never  ever will forgive and the sadest part is I cannot cut them off coz they are close to my closest.

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17. 83

    Jewelsposted 14 years ago

    I like the term acceptance over forgiveness.  For me the term forgiveness has religious connotations.    And in some sense forgiving is somehow validating another person's despicable behavior. 
    
    I'm probably mincing words but until I learn to accept the actions of another person, and de-charge the reaction it has brought up in me, then forgiveness won't happen.  thank goodness I've done a lot of de-charging otherwise the festering would be terrible.
    
    Empathy and compassion and the ability to not be a victim helps heaps.

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18. 91

    akirchnerposted 14 years ago

    It all depends to me on the grievance - how bad was the hurt because there all different degrees of hurt. 
    
    It also depends on the apology (if you ever get one).  If it is superficial or made to sound like I made too big a deal of something, then I might forgive, but I surely won't forget. 
    
    I think people should always think about how things look to the other person but that is very Polyanna.  A TRUE apology or a true understanding of how someone feels means more than all the superficiality in the world - or no apology. 
    
    Short answer - I forgive, but I have degrees with which I measure the 'wrong' - and if it is truly uncalled for and the person is arrogant about my feelings - I never forget it.  I try not to dwell on it but I just remember the path we took!

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19. 67

    Beth100posted 14 years ago

    The only person you can forgive is yourself.  The reason is because only you are responsible for your actions, resulting in you being responsible for the reaction.  If one is aware of themselves, one can feel how people are around them.  This provides you the opportunity to choose how you react and act.

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20. 61

    Gypsy48posted 14 years ago

    I have become more forgiving as I have gotten older. Time is too precious to waste on holding grudges.

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21. 60

    fucsiaposted 14 years ago

    I forget in the sense that I never kept alive the anger, but if this person disappointed me,  for me changes the type of relationship. For example if a friend disappoints me, he will no longer have my trust, or must demonstrate his credibility (and will not be easy!)

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22. 77

    skyfireposted 14 years ago

    It's hard to forgive when nobody forgives you.

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23. 82

    Pcunixposted 14 years ago

    I forgive and forget.  Life is too short to fill it with anger.

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24. 0

    Ella90posted 14 years ago

    I forgive easily, but it isn't always as easy to forget, but I try to as everyone makes mistakes and if the person is sorry for what they've done then they deserve a chance to redeem themselves just like I'd hope if I hurt someone they'd give me the chance to make up for it and forgive me

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25. 71

    seanorjohnposted 14 years ago

    I'm more in the business of hoping people forgive me. I dream of the day when I can choose whether to forgive others.

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26. 68

    blondepoetposted 14 years ago

    Forgiving saves your soul.
    
    Don't be hurt and angry for all the days you live,
    Cry your share of tears then let yourself forgive.

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27. 73

    IntimatEvolutionposted 14 years ago

    I have a hard time forgiving. Some things are unforgivable, and there are other times I'm too stubborn.

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28. 68

    myownworldposted 14 years ago

    Forgiving is the easy part, forgetting much harder. Esp. if you've been deeply hurt. Its an effort sometimes, but one must continue to make it. As so many have said, the worse thing you can do to yourself in life is to harbor grudges against someone - it only hardens hearts and fills us with bitterness. And as Milton said, "The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.." 

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    1. 60

       Joe Badtoeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I once held a grudge but it was both cuning and strong and eventually escaped to join a grudge cult.

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