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How do you accept failure?

  1. Jynzly profile image73
    Jynzlyposted 5 years ago

    The biggest killer of self-esteem and self-confidence is constant and consistent failures in any endeavors. Cherished dreams of becoming that person or kind of personality you want to be, doing what you really want to do and be a success in that field, wonderful plans of having those expensive material possessions, winning some important competitions, becoming the wife/husband of the love of your life...the list could continue to infinity; when you had done your best and had exerted all your wholehearted efforts for all or any these, as the case may be,  to come true and in the end you still fail, what will yo do?

    1. Will Apse profile image88
      Will Apseposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      In England we say f*** them all. I hope this isn't offensive. It is true.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Will Apse,
        No, any honest answer cannot be offensive no matter how you say it for as long as it is not intended to offend. I can understand your feeling, actually, your statement is a perfect answer to my question; it connotes some strong feeling. My fiance, Collin who died of cancer in 2008 in which I personally took care of him till the end, was an English ex-merchant sea man and a "professional beer drinker", well that is another term I give for an alcoholic. He was a typical one too to say what you just had said; given the situation.

    2. GNelson profile image82
      GNelsonposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      You only fail if you quit trying.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        GNelson,
        I agree. Hadn't Thomas Edison proved it.

    3. Jason Marovich profile image87
      Jason Marovichposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Keep after your dreams, even if you feel that you've failed to achieve them up to this point.  There are some amazing stories, even today, of people that had to find their way through a 'maze', bumping up against the dead-ends, and then turning around and finding a new way through.

      That being said, bumping your head against a wall repeatedly, without the willingness to turn around and make a new go at the maze, is folly.

      To give up on one's hopes and dreams is to accept that which will never please you.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Thank you Jason, that is actually a very encouraging comment you got there. I myself at present is in the situation where I want to give up on something; that's why I posted this topic, I am really serious to get a sincere answer that I can ponder on; perhaps some encouragement.

    4. profile image60
      injurylawfirmsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Failure makes us strong, keeping this in mind helps

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I am listening to the side who had accepted that failure does exists but making it as a stepping stone to try again as opposed to the contention of Pearldiver that Failure is a just a state of mind. I am actually looking into how these two  reasoning can reconcile.

    5. sparkster profile image92
      sparksterposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Without failure we would not learn from our mistakes.  Failures are necessary in order to learn how to succeed.

    6. Bendo13 profile image84
      Bendo13posted 5 years ago in reply to this

      You have to learn from your failures and in a way it turns them into stepping stones... you learn what works and what doesn't and how to work around the mistakes you made in the past.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Bendo13,
        That was my point of view when I raised the question; I never thought that I had been too assuming that everybody would acknowledge the validity of failure. For me failure is to night as success is to daylight.

    7. NatalieSack profile image60
      NatalieSackposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Believe it or not, I let myself wallow--for a little while.  I let the self-deprecating voice have its rant and tell me I'm no good and will never amount to anything, etc., until I feel like I've mourned my "loss."  Then I consciously shut off that voice and remind myself that if I am not failing I am not trying hard enough.

      For me, this method effectively addresses both the emotions that come with disappointment and the rekindling of the creative spirit I need to try again.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Natalia Sack,
        Yes, each of us experienced some sort of down flow sometimes, it's nature's way of seeing and making a difference. Everything in nature works in opposites; and human as we are, we also have some share of disappointments at times. It's in how we rebound that counts; and to rebound is a personal thing. That was supposedly the point in my question.

    8. phillippeengel profile image33
      phillippeengelposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Failure is inevitable. What if a person does not have any failure in their lives? Being impervious to failures is as good as being dead as a doornail. Through failures, we can rectify our mistakes and make ourselves more perfect and wiser. We should focus on the future rather than the past.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        That's a lot of sense in that statement philippeengel, and this is how my mind flows too. Acknowledgng failure in the first place and changing the mind and situation after the realization...that's logical...but some people won't acknowledge its existence...to my surprise, though they have they are entitled to their point of view...I agree with you though.

    9. Dave Mathews profile image60
      Dave Mathewsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      One can never be a failure so long as one tries their very best.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        One does not necessarily be a failure as a person if he fails in some of his dreams or plans, or whatever it is that he desires. To fail is different from a failure. A failure is the person who doesn't even realize that he is such...a failure is a liability in a given society. But to fail is characteristic to to an achiever who may have failed 10,000 times in his attempts but had finally succeeded in one that catapulted him to greatness, such as Thomas Edison..

        1. Dave Mathews profile image60
          Dave Mathewsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          You can only be a failure if you fail to at least try.

          1. Jynzly profile image73
            Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Exactly.

    10. avorodisa profile image89
      avorodisaposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      We are only able to change very little as far as our life is concerned. Taking actions can be good but there are situations where we have no influence or very little impact. Then what matters is our attitude. We live in a success-oriented society, we are conditioned to not make mistakes, to set goals and to achieve them, but the other side of it is that we cannot accept the failure. From the start we need to admit that we might fail in whatever way. Another strategy is that we can refuse to participate in an affair that we feel is doomed to failure. This does not mean that we do not have to take any actions at all. We must try to be creative, loving and patient whatever we do and avoid any destructive actions.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Hi avorodisa,
        Such inspiring principle concerning life; there's a lot of depths and wisdom in your statements and that is exactly what any sensible person should embrace. Life is everything that we experience, we are made to embrace everything in life, happiness or pain, success of failure...To embrace the whole of life is to demonstrate courage and to evolve into the complete person that each is meant to be.
        Thank you so much avarodisa.

    11. profile image34
      daisy73posted 5 years ago in reply to this

      it is a nice article

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I agree, daisy73.

    12. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image92
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 5 years ago in reply to this

      The way to view failure is to be realistic.  If you understand that if you don't have the appropriate skills you shouldn't try to be something you're not.  This lessens your chances for failure.  And even if you are good at something, you should understand that there will always be someone better.  Just because someone is better that does not make you a failure.  Watch America's Got Talent sometime.  So many people go on that show that have zero talent...of course they're going to fail...but they aren't being realistic.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        TIMETRAVELER2,
        I see the point, but even then, to try and to fail on one specific thing does not make one a complete failure; they may fail in one thing but there is always something else where they are good at.

    13. couturepopcafe profile image60
      couturepopcafeposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      "when you had done your best and had exerted all your wholehearted efforts "

      Then you haven't failed. If you are intelligent enough to come to a realization that something is generally unattainable at the moment, be flexible. Move on to another area which may better prepare you for the original goal.

      In the 1930s and 1940s, everyone who had access to a movie theater thought that life on the screen was the way life should be. Movies were full of glamorous women and debonnaire men, beautiful clothes, and perfect lives even with the trial and imperfection of the movie plot.

      Today, it's the same. Music moguls, stars and reality tv make the real world seem seedy by comparison to the lifestyles of the rich and famous. People strive for the unnattainable instead of growing their own gardens and preparing themselves to be successful. Success doesn't come by making a YouTube video. Shows like Idol and The Voice are rare opportunities and within reach for anyone. America is a level playing field in that regard. But if you don't work at your craft, success will never come. Focus.

    14. paradigmsearch profile image84
      paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I'm going through this right now. Brick walls wherever I turn. It really drags a person down. I just keep plugging along...

  2. Pearldiver profile image87
    Pearldiverposted 5 years ago

    I NEVER Fail.. I don't allow that mindset to ever undermine my objectives or my positive attitude/focus... No Matter What!

    If you are happy to accept 2nd best in your life then that will always be the anchor that holds you to never achieving the best! smile

    And OP... You asked a Question.. I have answered your Question honestly and as it relates to MY Life... I don't expect people on the internet to understand or believe that what I am saying is correct.. but it is and anyone can achieve anything, if they are prepared to commit fully and realistically to their goals!

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Yes, I admire your strong willpower and positive mindset. Not everybody though have such courage as you have and that is the reason why the word "Failure" exists. I know that it can only be true if we accept it as true in our personal situation. Thank you so much for your honest answer; I asked the question because I really need sensible answer this point of my situation.

      1. couturepopcafe profile image60
        couturepopcafeposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        If a person has never had a success, no matter how small, they do not know that success is possible. Set small goals and learn what it takes to succeed, even in a small way. Build on that feeling and make your goals attainable so you don't set yourself up for failure.

        1. Jynzly profile image73
          Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          couturepopcafe,
          There is no such thing as " a person has never had a success"...the fact that a person is still alive is a sort of success by itself; the only thing to do is t "count your blessings or acknowledge little successes no matter how insignificant they may seem; by counting your blessings, or acknowledging success more goals and plans will be created and more successes will pile up and the better a person will regard himself...

    2. sparkster profile image92
      sparksterposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I once said to parents of a friend of mine "we all mistakes sometimes".  His mother said "oh, we've never made any mistakes".

      I suppose it depends on what you actually consider to be a mistake.

  3. SomewayOuttaHere profile image61
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 5 years ago

    ...failure?...hmmmm........how about 'several attempts to succeed'...to me, failure sounds more like regrets in life

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      SomewayOuttaHere,
      Actually, you guys are a great encouragement to me so far. I thank you for reminding me that failure is just a state of mind.

  4. sunasia22 profile image74
    sunasia22posted 5 years ago

    There is no success without failure.  It's through failure that we learn to stand up again after failing.  We usually don't succeed everytime we try to do something .As long as your dreams are still there then you can manage to start all over and find something else to do.  You can accept failure if you understand the word success.

    1. Pearldiver profile image87
      Pearldiverposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Clearly many who will Never Succeed will believe your statement... perhaps you do as well..

      However if you take the time to understand the horse you plan to ride.. then you don't have to waste your life dusting off your butt and trying to convince another horse which YOU haven't taken the time to understand, to let you try riding again!

      You DON'T Have to Fail to know how to succeed... the cliched belief that you promote was coined to provide acceptance of 2nd place by those who failed! Sorry to be so blunt... but it all comes down to understanding horses and why they let you ride them, without falling off! smile

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Pearldiver,
        I am really curious about your way of thinking, let me ask you about your take on what Thomas Edison said that he knew 10,000 ways that won't work and he was referring to 10,000 failures because he needed only one success.

        1. Pearldiver profile image87
          Pearldiverposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          To understand my rationale, methodology and experience, you must understand what I write... you will find that I know my onions and horses.. I have owned and trained many successful racehorses and onions respond the same way.. if you can get them to speak without making you cry! big_smile

          I am a Kiwi... we, as people don't fear success like others do... that's why we excel in sports, extreme sports, dairy produce, horse breeding, yachting, mountaineering, music, IT developing, movies and digital media etc. We are World Champions at Many Things. There are only 4 million of us and we are 1000s of miles away from the rest of the world, so we don't think the same as others and we 'Just Do It!' and don't make excuses! That's why we succeed! We don't believe that we can't do what we set out to do! End of story! That's who we are as people! smile  That's why others think we are arrogant - we also tell it as it is! smile
          It was a Kiwi who conquered Mt. Everest. Who split the Atom. Who designed the Touchpad... Kiwis were first to give women the vote... We are unique.

          1. Jynzly profile image73
            Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Okay, it's good to be proud of one's country; patriotism is commendable but remember too that every culture is valid, there's no such thing as the best culture; we don't compare people, if you think you are unique, everybody is unique too. Ethnocentrism is the "sin" of the past and that led to genocide in the extreme once granted the opportunity and the power to execute. We can only allow each person wherever he is in this wide universe to live his own truth without necessarily be despising his ways because we think he is lower than human. I am just expressing my opinion in the best that I can muster for humanity's sake. I think that I had mentioned before that my late husband of 10 years was  a Kiwi too and my fiance for three years was English; these relationships gave me the insights of ethnocentrism at work.
            Thanks for the answer though.

            1. Pearldiver profile image87
              Pearldiverposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              I wasn't Flag Waving and I think you Missed the Point.

              When anywhere is 12,000 miles away from the rest of the world it is unique, merely because it will not evolve in the same way as 59 neighbors within a 12,000 mile radius! Now before you tell me that you know Kiwis as people, based on 1 Kiwi..believe me you don't. To understand them, you must understand the place.. it is called GodsOwn.. for a reason!

              The POINT was... Kiwis are Unique not only because they have evolved on a set of far away islands, but also because from a work or business success/failure perspective - They (Kiwis) have a hardwired mindset that they DON'T believe that they CAN'T Do something.. therefore they just do it.. without the fears that others, who have evolved differently have! - We THINK Back-the-front, laterally if you like... and that gives one the edge against basic, conventional thinking.   
              - Now THINK before you jump here.. I said earlier "If you understand the horse, it will let you ride without falling off!" - Conventional thinkers don't consider that logic as being relevant! Yet that is exactly how the horse considers it!
              Perhaps my post is too lateral for you to understand! I certainly don't feel the need to justify the fact that kiwis do not think the same as many other people... Aussies and Kiwis think in a similar way! But THAT IS part of the Uniqueness and a major reason why we excel in what we do generally.

              Now... if you do understand what I have said here.. then you will be able to see why your ex was a kiwi (re attitude and confidence) and it might give you the insight into some of the things you may not have understood... smile

              1. Beth100 profile image84
                Beth100posted 5 years ago in reply to this

                smile

                I too, think back-to-front (no dirty thoughts here folks).  That's how I approach all things.  I see the solution and place the steps to solve it; not place the steps in order to solve it.  Perhaps that is why I never fail or believe in failure. 

                Hey PD!!  smile  xo

              2. Jynzly profile image73
                Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                I don't claim to understand specific culture especially when they speak in puzzles or in some subjective matters in a cultural and subcultural viewpoint specific to them. I can also talk about specific Filipino pride and culture which you have no knowledge about and which you won't understand. If your intention is to bully me or to make me appear like an idiot because I got zero knowledge about your horses and what you're talking about..then you succeeded, but it does not make me an idiot or less intellectual than you and mal-educated...nobody knows everything... the confidence and attitude of anyone who knows something but undermines any other knowledge that he knows nothing about is parochial and is discriminatory. I was only asking about a universal concept on failure; not in the point of one culture that thinks that any culture that can not measure up to his standard is already considered mediocre.
                I don't need to argue. I allow you to reason the way you do. In Logic, the Law of Subalternation states "What is true to the particular cannot be true to the universal"

                1. psycheskinner profile image80
                  psycheskinnerposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                  I don't think there is any implied insult in a person saying how one person or group of people deal with the issue you raised. It is kind of what you were asking for. Cultures differ. We can learn useful stuff by looking at those differences--especially if done in a positive way that accepts different approaches as equally valid.

                  1. Jynzly profile image73
                    Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                    The issue I raised was specific to one's reaction to a particular sort of failure such as failing the National Board Exam repeatedly; the question then was "what will you do" in this given situation. I did not expect that most if not everybody here would not consider it as failure; and like I said, I was learning. The argument about culture and "insult" came in when aside from not accepting as failure, I had a follow up question to pearldiver about his take on Thomas Edison's 10,000 failures before he finally succeeded...in which instead of answering that question pointblank he discussed on the superiority and uniqueness of his country; and then the misunderstandings had continued.
                    But then i don't mean to offend but I do have the tendency to question the answers I receive if that is not what I originally meant to hear; I am listening to the answers and I give my response too, That is the way you as people from other cultures respond, this is also how I (a different culture from yours) respond. Rest assured I don't mean to offend.
                    I apologize to all if I may sound offensive, I never intend offense to anyone.

  5. Disturbia profile image59
    Disturbiaposted 5 years ago

    I don't know that I actually "accept" failure per say. I try not to set unrealistic goals or have unrealistic expectations. I also understand that I can't and don't always get everything I want. So I take what I can get and make the most of it. As long as I know I have given it my best shot, and done the best I can do, I don't feel I've failed. If I really want to achive a certain goal, I will just keep trying different ways to get it until I've run out of options, and I don't feel bad when it's time to quit because I know I've done my best. I think too many people beat themselves up with negative thoughts. If you think you are a failure, you will eventually reach that goal and become a failure.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Disturbia,
      Very accurately spoken (written). Yes I agree that Failure is a state of mind; and to be trodden down by such state of mind then we will be defeated. Just like what sunasia said, once we acknowledge a "seeming failure" then that's the time we rebound and be more creative to really achieve our goal. But it's sad to say that lots of people take failure personally and accept it to punish themselves.

    2. dmop profile image78
      dmopposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I must agree with Disturbia and psycheskinner the reality of your goals is most important in regards to success or failure. To me, failure is defined by the people around us, but only when we as individuals accept it as failure does it become such. We may experience failed attempts, but if we continue, is it really a failure? I personally have experienced many failed attempts, but have never experienced a failure. It just seems like to strong of a word to let myself believe in.

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        dmop,
        That is a good explanation; I am learning something here; I realize that most of those who commented in this topic are successful people. I know a lot of people who would even tell themselves "I don't amount to anything, everything I do fails." I am really amazed and feel revived again with the answers and discussions. Like I said, I was in the brink of discouragement when I posted this question in hubpages forum. I am into something and had been doing everything in one year now but everything  was just not working as I expected. I used to have everything easy but this one is tough. Thanks for your thoughts.

  6. psycheskinner profile image80
    psycheskinnerposted 5 years ago

    I make sure that most of my goals are realistic, so that over the long run I succeed more than I fail.  That makes the failures seem less important.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      psycheskinner,
      That's a really good attitude. I think I can agree that failure is a state of mind hence it can be changed.

  7. Beth100 profile image84
    Beth100posted 5 years ago

    From my own personal perspective, failure does not exist.  For me, every attempt is a success because I walk away with something that I did not have before.  It is with this new knowledge that I build upon to continue forward towards my goals.  Failure, in my mind, is giving up.  Never trying.  You may as well as lay down and die. 

    As I was once told, you can move a mountain rock by rock, no matter how large it is as long as you continue to keep on that task, focussed and dedicated.  Eventually, when you stand up and look, the moutain will not appear before you where it once stood, it will appear where you have placed it. 

    Failure, for me, does not exist.  smile

    1. Pearldiver profile image87
      Pearldiverposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Absoltruitily Right Beth... and the same works on moutains as well! big_smile

      1. Beth100 profile image84
        Beth100posted 5 years ago in reply to this

        smile  I think I've moved a few mountain ranges in my time.  lol  my kids are like me, as well as their dad.  There is no stopping us!  My youngest at 6 has no fear -- he'll jump out of an airplane just because he knows he can.  smile 

        I love how you think and are.  That's what makes you so great!  smile


        GTG.  Talk to you later -- enjoy your Friday!  smile

        1. Pearldiver profile image87
          Pearldiverposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Thanks Beth... Canadians do have a similar mindset in many ways.. you are right and maybe that connection came from times spent together in wars and Greenpeace etc. I appreciate your explanation as it is was a much shorter version of what I was trying to say in a book big_smile

          You take care Buddy have a good weekend and take him sky diving with a helmet video... you will love it... believe me.. big_smile  (after that sinking feeling has worn off! big_smile ).. Bye Beth.

    2. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Beth100,
      I was talking about a specific failure such as three attempts for an interview to get the job position you really wanted but you were denied or rejected every time...or another situation such as you took a National Board Exam, three times in a row; you really desire to pass this year because it is a prerequisite to the only job position that you would be very interested to have; but you failed the exam every time and the exam is once a year only. How do you call this situation? Is it not a failure? Of course I cant try again for the nth time until I pass eventually, but realistically, I had experienced certain failure along this line. If I won't consider it a failure then I would keep hoping for another endeavor...but then it would just be an evasion to your true desire.

      1. Beth100 profile image84
        Beth100posted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Unfortunately, you did not state this clearly in your OP.  As a result, we have posted what we thought was an answer to your question.  As I have interpretted your question as you had written it, I responded with a personal perspective.  In light of this, I believe that many of us have answered based on your original OP.

        No one here intends to be superior to any other person.  We are all just stating what we think/feel. 

        Now, to answer your question more specifically.  No, it is still not a failure.  Why?  Track back and discover where the issue lies on your answers for the exam.  For example, is there a professor you can speak with who can clarify what is being sought in the question?  Learn from the exams that you have previously taken -- discover what your weak points are.  Then work on these weak points until you are confident that you know the material inside and out. 

        Also consider your learning style.  Everyone learns in a different manner.  Perhaps the retention of the information can be more successful if you learn with a different method. 

        When you trip and fall, you stand up, dust yourself off, look around and see what it was that tripped you.  Learn from it and proceed forward.  With this attitude, there is no failure.  There is only continuous self growth and success.

        Good luck on your decision!

        1. Jynzly profile image73
          Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Beth100,
          I am surprised that nobody here see the question as I meant it. I had elaborated it such as this... " doing what you really want to do and be a success in that field, wonderful plans of having those expensive material possessions,"... which could cover a lot of situations that did not succeed in the first, second or next attempts; I thought that I won't need to give a specific an example for it to be understood.
          Also I don't understand why you should say "No one here intends to be superior to any other person.  We are all just stating what we think/feel.  " When I looked back to my comment to your response there is nothing I said to you specifically that would trigger you to say such...I did imply such to my answer to Pearldiver specifically because of the tenor of the discussion we had, but not to you...Now I am beginning to see some light here...This is another good example of not only individual diffences but most of all, cultural differences. I now see myself as being alone and all of you...whoever your companions are...know each other and would answer in behalf of everybody's approval. I am new here and I do not know how things work here...I am learning for sure and learning for me is a challenge.

          1. Reality Bytes profile image90
            Reality Bytesposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Welcome to HP smile

            Failure for me is not an option. You only fail when you give up. I don't give up.

            I have never craved material possessions, I acquire what I can afford.  I have also succeeded to accomplish everything I have set out to complete.  Some things are just not finished yet.

            1. Jynzly profile image73
              Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              Reality Bytes,
              That is such a commendable attitude I hope that majority of the people think the same way. Thank you for that comment.

          2. Beth100 profile image84
            Beth100posted 5 years ago in reply to this

            There is one thing that I dislike the most about communication via computers:  you lose the emotional/human side of the conversation. 

            I did read the conversation between you and PD.  I am not choosing sides -- merely trying to point something out.  Misundertandings and the way things are typed can easily be misconstrued to convey the wrong meaning.  I'm Canadian -- I like peace and do what I can to keep it.  smile 

            The beauty of life is that we are all learning, all the time.  Growth never stops -- life is dynamic.  If we have the mindset that we are dynamic (always learning, changing and growing), there is no room for "failure".  "Failure" is a mindset.  It is a way of looking at ourselves and choosing to believe (or not) in what others have taught us.  It is very much along the nature of "the glass half full versus half empty" attitude. 

            I believe that you can achieve what you strive for. 

            You are not alone.  Not here on this site or anywhere else on this planet.  Open your heart and eyes.  Every person you meet has a purpose in your life.  They leave something behind for you, but you have to see it and accept it.  "Failure" is the same.  "It" happens for a reason but you have to "see" it and accept it in order to move forward.  "Failure" is not the best choice of words for your situation.  You have not failed. 

            Think of it this way.  You have come across a barricade that stretches across your path as far as you can see on your left and right.  When you over the barricade, you can see the path you want to take.  The question is:  do you walk along parallel to the barricade in the hopes of an opening or do you look at the barricade and find the weak spot and turn that into an opening? 

            Neither answer is a "failure".  Failure, in this case, would be to sit down and never attempt to enact a solution.  It's better to walk miles and miles in the hope of an opening than to never try.

            Keep trying.  It will come together.  Persevere -- that is what makes success.  You can do it.  Follow your heart; it is never wrong.  Remember, you are not alone.  smile

            Stand tall, chin up and keep going forward.  You can do it!!!  smile

            1. Jynzly profile image73
              Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              Thank you for such realistic point of view. I can understand fully what you mean and actually even with Pearldiver's viewpoint of "failure" I was already convinced. I am a Filipina and Filipinos are known to be loving and warm-hearted, I am for peace too. I am sorry for the misunderstanding. I admit my mistakes once I see and perceive the pure intention.

  8. psycheskinner profile image80
    psycheskinnerposted 5 years ago

    IMHO the kiwi attitude a lot to do with having to get the job done regardless.  You succeed or you fail, hardly matters, you just keeping going until the job is done because no one is going to do it for you. And no one is going to give you much sympathy if you complain.

    1. Pearldiver profile image87
      Pearldiverposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Yes... Well said.. Thanks for that PS big_smile

  9. profile image0
    Home Girlposted 5 years ago

    With grudge!
    http://www.pic4ever.com/images/tantrumsmiley.gif

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Home Girl,
      I can understand, once we fail there is some grudge but then we can try again.

  10. aware profile image72
    awareposted 5 years ago

    if you have never failed . chances are you haven't  tried. instant success is mostly a myth.    try try again,

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      True, aware...I agree with you.

  11. sabrebIade profile image81
    sabrebIadeposted 5 years ago

    I have this as my desktop....

    “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
    ― Muhammad Ali

    Also...
    “Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong.”
    ― Muhammad Ali

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      sabreblade,
      Wow! Such inspiration...to ponder on such statement.

  12. aware profile image72
    awareposted 5 years ago

    endeavor to persevere. that's Lincoln

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      aware,
      Yes, if Lincoln did not have such values in perseverance he wold not be that great...he is an authority to such statement. Thank you for sharing.

  13. Lady_E profile image82
    Lady_Eposted 5 years ago

    Learn from it and see as experience - move on.
    Otherwise, it will keep you down.

    Also, don't expect it (because you've failed so many times)
    we attract what we think.

    Finally, when it happens for you... You will be on a roll of success
    and will have the biggest smile. smile

    Take Care. I really wish you well.
    Elena

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Lady_E,
      I like your "we attract what we think"...that is really true.
      Thank you so much. God bless you too, Elena; by the way I like your poems, they are lovely...the rhymes yes.

  14. aware profile image72
    awareposted 5 years ago

    I accomplished many things . just to show someone that said i couldn't, that i can, call it a grudge, then call them and thank them for the push

  15. aware profile image72
    awareposted 5 years ago

    you only fail if you stop writing. thats a ray brad quote. its a keeper

  16. profile image0
    ecoethicalveganposted 5 years ago

    Our lives are the sum total of everything we do and say, it's personal to each one of us, and it isn't 'just' about failure, it's 'my' story it's 'your' story it's 'our' It's a story about our achievements, our failures, the sad times, the happy times, the boring times, and the times we cherish.

    Tomorrow there will be new challenges, step up to them, take them on, and if they don't work out the way you'd like, it's ok, no one has everything, you are not alone, you are in good company.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Hi ecoethicalvegan,
      I know that this response is very late, I have not seen your wonderful comment....such truth you are saying there. I most agree with you.

  17. ar.colton profile image86
    ar.coltonposted 5 years ago

    Just pick yourself up and keep on rolling. Life will find it's symmetry in the end. If it doesn't kill you it may not necessarily make you stronger, but you're still alive to fight another day.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      ar.colton,
      Thanks for these inspiring words from you.

  18. sunasia22 profile image74
    sunasia22posted 5 years ago

    We usually have different point of views about accepting failure and it is nice that we have some fun discussing about it.  I understand that PD is not agreeable with my statement I posted 14 hours ago which eventually resulted in some misunderstandings in this forum. I respect his belief that failure is just a state of mind, and I admire him for that he never fails, anyway, we all have different opinions and beliefs. To keep the forum clean, fun and constructive, we must respect the opinion of others, even if you don't necessarily agree with them (as stated in the forum rules).

    You've got here a great topic Jinzly! Thank you very much for answering PD's comments which really are reactions to my statement and how you were convinced with the different point of views of accepting failure which fellow hubbers have pointed out in this forum.

    Peace to all of us!  Enjoy!smile

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      sunasia22,
      Thanks for the compliment. I was just being presumptuous when I asked that question...not thinking that there are people who cannot accept the validity of failure. My mistake.
      Thanks for your contributions to this discussion.

  19. profile image60
    injurylawfirmsposted 5 years ago

    Yes, people have different views on failure if or whenever experienced. It should be taken as a learning lesson for us I believe. It actually has some conclusion.

    1. Pearldiver profile image87
      Pearldiverposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Good Answer... it does create a conclusion, albeit not always the preferred one.

    2. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Hi injurylawfirms,
      I had left this forum for some days, am back now and it happens that your comment is the one that fell in my mail. There has been a great discussion from the question I posted but I think there were just some misunderstanding. Next time I will make myself clear when I ask a question.
      I did not ask whether they believe or not on the existence of failure; I was assuming that everybody accepts failure as a valid word and condition, so my question was what will they do if they fail...assuming that failure does exist.
      Thank you for the comment.

  20. Evan G Rogers profile image79
    Evan G Rogersposted 5 years ago

    by getting used to it.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Hmmm...sounds fair enough Evan G Rogers

  21. Hawkesdream profile image68
    Hawkesdreamposted 5 years ago

    In the film 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' there is a song that explains how each failure leads you to success. Failure is only a failure if you think it is.
    Here is the link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GND10sWq0n0

    I hope it helps

    1. kaliskadavis profile image60
      kaliskadavisposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Deleted

      1. Jynzly profile image73
        Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        That is actually a very good principle there kaliskadavis

        1. kaliskadavis profile image60
          kaliskadavisposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Deleted

          1. Jynzly profile image73
            Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            kaliskadavis,
            You deserve the recognition.

    2. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I have not gone to the site yet, but thanks for the suggestion Hawkesdream.

  22. Tams R profile image86
    Tams Rposted 5 years ago

    Thank failure. It is the opportunity to learn and begin again towards a path of achieving new and unrealized dreams.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Tams R,
      That's more realistic Tams...Thanks for the contribution.

  23. winbo profile image57
    winboposted 5 years ago

    positively.. With a big smile.. Bcz failure is the pilar of success

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      winbo,
      Agree.

  24. natures47friend profile image67
    natures47friendposted 5 years ago

    So failure should build on more success. I have yet again tried for another job in a technical field that I was very interested in , got an interview, but alas...not a second interview. Now I'm thinking I am too old and destined to clean old peopless houses. But at least, whatever I do I do 110%.It is sooo disappointing to have failed again. They say it is who you know, not what you know to get what limited jobs there are at the moment. This forum has been extremely positive so I will try keeping my chin up and maybe not apply for science jobs in the future so I cannot be gutted each time. I look at missing jobs as a lotto. They have a lot of applicants, pull a name out of a barrel or hat and you either win or not win. Perhaps it is not meant to be and I should not push it. Applying for jobs as a parent is frustrating. But look at Thomas Edison....if he could do it...then....we all can.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      natures47friend,
      That's a good attitude, just continue doing what you truly believe in, persist until one day the universe will bw to your will. Good Luck.

  25. iholland95 profile image60
    iholland95posted 5 years ago

    Honestly, I just take failure as it comes. It happens in life and when it happens to me, I just learn to move on in life and forget about it instead of dwelling on it for a long time.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      iholland95,
      That's  a good attitude, and it is also good to know the cause of the failure so that we won't feel bad about; after all it's not us who are failures, it's the things we do or desire that cannot happen yet in a given time.

  26. Bldg an Architect profile image72
    Bldg an Architectposted 5 years ago

    Don't.  Go down fighting in a blaze of glory.  Sometimes that's what it takes to succeed.  If you still don't, at least you gave it everything.

    1. Courtney Leah profile image60
      Courtney Leahposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      That's true Bldg, sometimes the fight actually makes winning the prize worht it.

  27. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image92
    TIMETRAVELER2posted 5 years ago

    I completely agree, and that was my point.  People who want to succeed need to be realistic.  You are never going to earn a Ph.D if you have an IQ of 80, but you can graduate from high school and find a meaningful and fulfilling life and not feel like you've failed.  We all have different talents and if we use them we can indeed be successful on various levels.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      TIMETRAVELER2,
      You are perfectly right. Excellently put.

  28. vocalcoach profile image93
    vocalcoachposted 5 years ago

    My Daddy used to say, "Nothing is good or bad. It's thinking that makes it so."
    I have learned that failure is simply a state of mind. In other words, how can I fail, if I'm learning? I can't.

    Even rejection is in the mind of the beholder, so to speak. I may "fall down" a few times, but will always get back up and continue forward.

    The word failure doesn't have to be a negative word. We can choose to see it as a possitive force.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      vocalcoach,
      The way you answer my question is exactly what I expected to read. Perfect articulation of your thoughts and concepts of failure. How can you be wrong? Yes failure can be translated as "a learning process."
      Toddlers may stumble down in their first attempts to get up and make the first, second, third steps...but they learn to walk eventually...there's no other way to grow but to stand up and try again after some falling or stumbling.

      1. rLcasaLme profile image49
        rLcasaLmeposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        ditto that smile

      2. couturepopcafe profile image60
        couturepopcafeposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I'm sure you've heard the famous quote by Thomas Edison. When asked by his apprentice how he could have tried and failed so many times and continue to go on trying, he replied, "Why, man, I haven't failed. I just know 2000 things that don't work." Brilliant.

        1. Jynzly profile image73
          Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          couturepopcafe,

          That is one example of a positive mental attitude...counting only success and disregarding what did not work..."what did not work" is just another way of saying "failed", but I notice that lots of people are scared of the word "failure, failed" saying it in a mild manner to make them feel better...we got to face facts squarely...accept those that did not work or those that fail as facts because it is the only way to learn and to move on.

  29. amithak50 profile image60
    amithak50posted 5 years ago

    I go to island and forget everything than come ..or just f***k it off!

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      amithak50,

      Yes, there are situations that we just have to give ourselves a break...our life is most important after all. Good answer.

    2. Courtney Leah profile image60
      Courtney Leahposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Yeah, I agree. The more you distract yourself from thinking about crap, that's the better things get. When you concentrate on your problems, it's like you are getting popcorn and watching the sad movie all over again.

  30. cynthtggt profile image77
    cynthtggtposted 5 years ago

    The thing to understand is that ALL people have gone the same way.  When you grow and understand this, one of two things happen:  1) you do what you want to do anyway and hope your efforts pay off (a great financial risk), or 2) doors and windows open you never noticed were there and one or the other contains YOU in it.  The dreams of youth are always the same as yours - and there are some aspirations that are met - but it does not mean that the same dream cannot be met in other creative ways.  The important thing is that you dream it.  It builds character essential to greet the unexpected.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      cynthtggt,

      Such wisdom...and I like the "The important thing is that you dream it.  It builds character essential to greet the unexpected."

    2. Courtney Leah profile image60
      Courtney Leahposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I like!

  31. Courtney Leah profile image60
    Courtney Leahposted 5 years ago

    What is failure? We all have expectations, but just because we don't reach them, it doesn't mean that we have failed. It may mean that it just isn't for us, and time is something to consider too. For example, you said that you have failed if you didn't marry the person of your dreams. Honey, if I married the person of my dreams I would not be happy today. And I know many others who have experienced the same thing. Take home message: everything happens for a reason. And we'll understand things better by and by!

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Courtney Leah,
      You remind me of my own experience about not marrying the man of my dreams; Joe Araneta was my first love and I felt so bad, even got discouraged in life when I found that we cannot marry because of some serious reasons..(not in the same religion)...We did not marry but it doesn't mean that I cannot marry another man anymore and that I cannot be happy in my marriage just because he is not my husband. Some things are meant for us, some are not; what's important is our attitude and outlook in life.

      1. Courtney Leah profile image60
        Courtney Leahposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Yep

  32. dallas93444 profile image37
    dallas93444posted 5 years ago

    Failure is a definition of an event. A "failure" can be a building block, rather than a stumbling block... We get to decide.
    Most of us experience similar things, our reaction to them defines who we are...

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      dallas93444,

      Such a way to put it into words! Perfect.
      Thanks for sharing.

    2. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      dallas93444,

      I quoted your answer and cited your id in my new hub; I hope you don't mind.

  33. profile image65
    logic,commonsenseposted 5 years ago

    I have never accepted failure.
    I have failed, but know that it is only temporary and another tact is needed.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      logic,commonsense,

      Your statement which is "I have failed, but know that it is only temporary..." is an acknowledgement of failure though you are also aware that it won't stay long.
      There is an existence of failure but it is an individual's choice to either accept or reject it and turn it into opportunity.
      Thanks for the response.

  34. profile image0
    Vrijdag Pagesposted 5 years ago

    Failure is the inspiration and desire to want to learn more, or should be. If you fail at something try it again, and again. There are times when we say 'nope, can't be asked," but that is a negative energy being passed out so we don't get one back in. I just look at it as there is room for improvement and it can be done. Nothing is impossible.

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Vrijdag Pages,

      That is actually a very sensible and logical point of view about failure. In this sense we can focus on success rather than at failure.
      Thanks for such comment.

  35. dallas93444 profile image37
    dallas93444posted 5 years ago

    Thanks for asking, but I have no problems with you quoting me. My life has been one of doing, rather than wishing I had done it. It is not for the faint-of-heart. The rewards are greater as is the "downsides..." 
    My life experiences has taught me what I told you... the "hard way." I have no regrets. My life is enriched beyond my expectations. I have retired three times, made fortunes, lost fortunes and etc...
    I have learned "things" I own, or do not own does not define who/what I am. I have learned the importance of living today, not yesterday, or tomorrow...

    1. Jynzly profile image73
      Jynzlyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      dallas93444,

      Wow! Such Wisdom. Thank you again.

 
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