What would you have done differently?

1. 67

   ienjoythisposted 11 years ago

   
   Looking back, are there any moments in your life that had the potential to change your life immensely but you walked away from it?
   
   For me, I had the chance to study abroad for free but passed it up because of a relationship. Silly, silly me.

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   1. 58

      ElSeductorposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I have blown many great opportunities in my life in all areas.  However, nothing good comes from dwelling on the past.  All we can do is keep moving forward. 
      
      R

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2. 0

   Motown2Chitownposted 11 years ago

   I had an opportunity to get a college education at no charge, in exchange for teaching in the state of Alaska for four years when I finished.  I didn't take it because I was afraid to be that far from home. 
   
   Yup.  I could kick myself for it now.

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   1. 67

      ienjoythisposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Michele, that is so common.  The fear of being away from those we are close to and leaving our comfort zone is difficult. All we can do is learn.

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      1. 0

         Motown2Chitownposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         True.    Thankfully, I have learned much from that experience.  Of course, every now and then, I wish the opportunity would come along again.
         
         Oddly enough, I've moved about a trillion times in my lifetime.  Now, there's nothing in the world that would hold me back from a chance like that.

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3. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 11 years ago

   I was offered a directorship at my last job.   I was hesistant to take the position because I felt that I lacked experience.   I am cursing myself out each day for not taking the position.  However, I am retired now, #$%^%!@ !

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   1. 67

      ienjoythisposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I, too, have been been in situations where I felt under-qualified. However, I have learned that taking on a new challenge and growing in a new area is what is important! Congratulations on your retirement!

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      1. 83

         gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you my dear.

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4. 71

   moronkeeposted 11 years ago

   This a thought provoking thread.I had the chance to get married to the one I loved in my twenties but it was messed up by a bunch of religious liars who broke  up the relationship.
   Thanks for asking.

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5. 61

   fpherj48posted 11 years ago

   ienjoythis.  This is one of those questions that causes people to really dig deep.  As for women and "relationships," coming between them and an opportunity......we're famous for that, unfortunately.   That usually happens when we're young and starry-eyed.   When the relationship goes south and the opportunity has long since past us by........That becomes Lesson #1, in the maturing process, as we kick ourselves in the butt for a little while.
   However, I am a firm believer in all things being as they should be....as they are meant to be...at any given time.  While it may be helpful to remember a lesson-learned and the result and consequences.....it is senseless to continue to beat ourselves up or hold on to regret.   Moving forward, a little smarter and a lot stronger, is the key to achieving a life, we can be proud of and satisfied with.
   I could mention any number of situations of years past, that may have made an enormous difference in my life, but, the fact is, we really can't know anything for certain.   Many things that seem to have been a mistake or error in judgement, could very well have been a blessing in disguise.
   For all of the choices we made and the ones we did not make.....I say, "Que sera, sera....."  .....Peace.

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6. 74

   Kangaroo_Jaseposted 11 years ago

   No. None. Absolutely no regrets.
   
   I would not be the individual I am now, knowing (or thinking I understand) what I know now through my past experiences. Decisions are made by us all the time. Some are good decisions, some are bad. Each and every one through hindsight is a lesson to learn.
   
   I am a happy person with who I am and happy to live in my own skin, through all my good and bad decisions I have made thus far.
   
   I love and cherish that major impacts on life that have come through personal choice or planned by me. When opportunity from outside sources is presented, if I walk away from that choice, at least I know that I have past experience to help me understand that choice.
   
   In life, we definitely are what we choose

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7. 93

   Gordon Hamiltonposted 11 years ago

   Ienjoythis,
   
   I almost actually answered your question (very briefly considered it and would have done so honestly!)
   
   I then stopped and looked at your recently created (emphasis on recent!!!) profile...
   
   Want a major article that will take your freelance journalist career to new levels? I'll give you it - but please negotiate terms via HP staff who will have the capacity to contact me directly...
   
   Nice try...

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8. 67

   ienjoythisposted 11 years ago

   Gordon,
   What message are you trying to convey, exactly?
   Sarcasm? Evasiveness?
   Either way I think you missed the point of my thread.

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   1. 61

      fpherj48posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      ienjoythis.......re: "Gordon"....     What??   HUH??   Excuse me?   I do not understand this babble.....what in the name of Caesar, is this in reference to?   "Nice try?"   HUH?  If someone wrote this to me, I would request an explanation.  It seems completely unrelated to your post.

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   2. 0

      Sarra Garrettposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      He seriously did!  WTH?

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9. 0

   Sarra Garrettposted 11 years ago

   I would have never gotten married to my sons father!  I should have joined the military at 18 and not 30.

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10. 67

    ienjoythisposted 11 years ago

    @Paula:  Your insight is wonderful and very wise. Replies such as yours were what I was hoping for.
                    You do live and learn. And become stronger. I have looked back and seen decisions I may and realize now that I probably should have done so differently. But, you learn. And you move forward with new knowledge.
    
    @Sarra: So maybe you didn't join back when you wanted to, but you joined! You still did it. And that is what matters most. Cheers to you.
    
    @Kangaroo: I like your philosophy. No regrets. Everything happens for a reason. While it is the more difficult of the attitudes to keep, I do have that mentality often.

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11. 71

    Monis Masposted 11 years ago

    Several years ago I was offered a job in Sweden, with perks like housing, horseback riding etc. My employer even offered to pay for my driver's license (it's pretty expensive in Poland), and to wait until I get it. And I backed out. I don't even know why, since I had nothing going on in my life at that time, just a crappy job and a broken up engagement... Maybe I was too afraid?
    Anyway, sometimes I think about it, how my life would have played, but I have no regrets, since a year later I decided to "conquer" a wonderful country of the USA. And it was my decision, and mine only, nobody had to convince me.
    Everything happens for a reason...
    

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    1. 67

       ienjoythisposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Monis, how wonderful!! I'm really liking these "no regrets" attitudes. Everything does happen for a reason. Happy for you.

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12. 61

    lilmamakimposted 11 years ago

    I used to think that if I could change anything, I would change having been with my ex husband of 21 yrs. It was 21 yrs of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. I was terrified of him. But when I think about it now, as horrible as it was, it made me into the strong woman I am today. The only thing I would change about it if I could, is the amount of time it took me to find the courage to stand up for myself, and say enough is enough, and walk away. I only regret that it took me so long to find the courage to get away. I did have a child with him, and that I could never regret. So I no longer think that I would change having been with him, only how long it took to get away. As others have stated, things happen for a reason. If I had never married him, I wouldnt be where I am now, with the wonderful man Im with now. I forgive him, but I will NEVER forget, and I will NEVER allow it to happen again. I have also been able to help a couple of other women in the same situation, something I could not have done if I hadnt experienced it myself. That alone plus my child, makes it all worth it!

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    1. 67

       ienjoythisposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       lilmamakim, you are an incredible woman. Your heart is now incredibly strong and it sounds to me like you're living the life you deserve. Much respect.

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       1. 61

          lilmamakimposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          Thank u ienjoythis, I am definitely stronger now. (what doesnt kill us, makes us stronger, right? : )     and for me, the important thing is that I learned things about myself I may never have known had I not went through it all. I made a difference in a couple of womens lives who were going through the same thing. That is the most awesome feeling in the world!

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13. 0

    Beth37posted 11 years ago

    My hat's off to you lilmamakim.

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    1. 61

       lilmamakimposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Thank u Beth, my reply above to ienjoythis, is meant for you too. I just want you ladies to know, that we ALL have something to give to others through our own experiences. If we can help just ONE person, then it has been worth the hurt, and struggle we endured. I believe God has a purpose for all of us, and that is why we go through painful things in life. We learn valuable life lessons, and we can turn tragedy into triumph. What might have happened to those 2 women if I hadnt been there? I believe with all my heart one of them would be dead by now. Her husband was a monster! It took me 2 long hard years to turn her thinking around, and to gain the courage to get out. He even tried to pull the bully scare tactics on me, but I am wise to their ways now : ) it didnt work. He had raised his hand to me and told me if I didnt leave his wife alone he would "teach me the same lesson he teaches her" I simply smiled, stared him straight in the eyes, and told him, go ahead and try it, I promise you, I will have you locked up for a very very long time! He tried to stare me down with that evil look on his face, and I never backed down. True coward that he was, he broke eye contact first, and tried to then just shout threats at me, as I walked away laughing at him, with his wife by my side. : ) God is soooooo good! Lol...

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14. 0

    Sarra Garrettposted 11 years ago

    Can I just have a doover?

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15. 0

    JustCraftyposted 11 years ago

    I quit college to get married and see the world.  I wish I had finished college to be an attorney before I got married then I could have already been retired.  Kick myself because the career field I in now I will retire when dead.

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    1. 67

       ienjoythisposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Hmm.. very interesting. I've been contemplating leaving college but I might as well finish my degree because I am so close. I'd never quit to get married but to see the world, no question!

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       1. 0

          Beth37posted 11 years agoin reply to this

          good for you ienjoythis

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16. 63

    Globetrekkermelposted 11 years ago

    I would have loved to be a travel journalist and a multi lingual expert.But coming from the country I come from, opportunities in these fields were  rare or non -existent. So ,i ended up in the medical field.

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17. 61

    lilmamakimposted 11 years ago

    @ Ienjoythis and Beth37...Thank you. I am much stronger than I ever thought I could be. Its a fantastic, freeing, feeling. I wish I could reach out to every woman on the planet who is going thru this, and help them find their strength too. They DO have it, they just dont know it yet. And just for the record, I know, there are some men who also have abusive spouses. Its more rare, but it does happen. I would say the same to them as I would say to any woman. "No matter what the spouse/mate says to you, YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT, AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT." You did not "make" them do it!!! Lord, I so remember that phrase! "You pushed me to do this!" A classic line from an abuser, they blame you for what they did. The warped psychology they use is so incredibly subtle over a certain amount of time, that you are trapped into this vicious cycle before you even realize it! Sorry, Im preaching on my soapbox again, lol...I really just wanted to say thanks ladies!

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       Beth37posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Im glad you found your strength and Im glad you're encouraging others... you never know what kind of a difference you might make in someones life.

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18. 77

    brimancandyposted 11 years ago

    When I was 17, I was very interested in working for Disney. So, I wrote a letter to the employment department at Disneyland in California, and I received a nice letter and application, from their employment recruiter. I believe her name was Anita, and, I filled out the application, and mailed it back, along with a nice thank you letter.
    
    A couple weeks later I received a letter back from her saying that I had been hired, and I needed to report to their employment office to be assigned housing, and be fitted for uniforms. I was so excited I told my dad about it, and he says. What are you going to do? Walk to California? I'm certainly not going to take you there. I even tried to talk him into getting me a bus ticket. And he said No.
    
    So, I had to write her back, and tell her that I could not come. I cried for days, because I so wanted to work there, and, I'm sure it would have been an educational experience for me. I also hated my dad for not even trying to help me out.
    
    She wrote me a letter back, and said sorry you can't make it. Try again in a couple years, maybe things will be different, and wished me the best of luck. I of course did not try again, because I still had no way to get there. But, I am sure I would have loved it. And, I'm sure life in California would have been sweet!

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       Beth37posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Thats sad, Im sorry. You never know though... parents have ways of protecting their kids from all sorts of drama and dangers by that one word "no."  You might find out one day he did you a great favor.

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    2. 67

       ienjoythisposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I'm sorry that things did not work out. But everything happens for a reason! I'm sure you have people in your life now whom you are very thankful for and who may have not come along if you did move to California.

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19. 78

    MickeySrposted 11 years ago

    I would have stayed in school, gone on to college, and prepared myself more to provide for the family I so looked forward to enjoying - as it is, I virtually quit school in 7th grade and stopped going altogether by 10th grade . . . I'm not a dope and I've always done well at the crappy jobs I've had, but I know I could have planned and prepared myself for an actual career that would have provided more for my family.

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20. 0

    Moeskyposted 11 years ago

    This question comes up so often and I can understand how some people can feel they messed up their past lives - especially when valued relationships have been lost due to wrong choices. But really - you just can't do anything about it so what's the point of dwelling on the past? Everything we do wrong or right is a chance to grow, get wiser, understand more - and we always make the decision that we feel is the right one at any one time - so you wouldn't change it even if you could go back. The big fault is to keep on making the same mistakes, and not learning or not believing that it could ever get better or that you can change. And if you like who you are and how your life is at this moment, then you have to remember it's all those wrong turns that got you here.

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21. 0

    Miriam Weissmannposted 11 years ago

    Looking back, there's nothing I regret that much. But let's face it, it's never been a bed of roses. I've had to take the good along with the bad like everyone else. Like most of us, there's been more bad than good, but who's complaining? I gave birth to two strapping lads and I've still got a husband to support me. Who could want more? A daughter would have been nice, but we've probably got too many male chromosomes between us. I suppose the one thing I do regret is that I once put my stockings on back to front and didn't get the job. Yes, I'd have done that differently. But life's been kind otherwise.

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22. 91

    davidlivermoreposted 11 years ago

    My mother just passed away today, and I didn't realize until today that I wasn't as close to her as I wanted her to be.  Would it have changed my life immensely?  I don't know.  But I think i would have made better decisions.

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23. 78

    Kasmanposted 11 years ago

    I think for me is the moment I moved from California to another part of the country because of a decision my father made about our relationship.  He told me to renounce Christ and embrace islam because that side of my family is muslim.  I could have chosen differently but I chose to say no.  My life changed forever.  Because of that decision, I haven't seen my brother, 3 sisters, or my father in over a decade.  It's such a long story of the details but this is the summary of it.

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    1. 0

       Beth37posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Be encouraged. God will restore the years the locust have eaten. You chose wisely.

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       1. 78

          Kasmanposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          I wouldnt choose differently.

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