Should i date a Christian

1. 58

   jenny88posted 14 years ago

   Hi
   
   Been chatting to this guy online who is (sounds!!) really nice.
   
   He says because he is a Christian and I am not we cannot have a any kind of future.
   
   I thought I was a Christian, but he is quite sure I'm not.
   
   
   so here is my question
   
   Can a non- christian go out with a Christian.
   
   
   Jenz

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Run like Hell and don't look back.

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      Pamda Manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      He probably is Mr. Usman. Look out.

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      CabinGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      If he is judging you already then dump the relationship, you are who you are, not who he wants you to be, good luck !

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         livewithrichardposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Very well said CabinGirl

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            CabinGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Thanx babes x

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      AsherKadeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think he spoke too quickly and judgementally.Perhaps he should have gotten to know you better.However, without knowing his side any further, I could deduce that he may be refering to the strong Christian belief that as God would state in the Bible, 'do not find a mate where you will be unequally yoked'. In otherwords, do not marry someone who could not share your same beliefs in God and there is truth and logic in that. First, it's not to exclude non-Christians as if they are some sort of vile human filth, but just to say that if you don' agree on basic principals, your relationship will falter and be weak. This could be said on any subject-of any sort.
      Do not be dismayed. I would talk to the gentleman and sy to him that you believe, if true, that God brought you two together to find that opportunity to witness to each other.I time, listen to what he says about God. If he is important to you,so will his religion be. You don't have to agree or become a Christian.But use this opportunity to get to know him and God better. Then you can split ways if necessary. I do not believe it is that time to split now.You haven't given him a chance andvisa versa.

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      Lady_Eposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well, in your Hub "Finding a great Partner".  You actually posted a link to a Singles Christian Dating site, encouraging people to give it a try.  I'm guessing, if you've done that, it can't be a bad thing.
      
      Follow your Heart or ask him how you could be the sort of Christian he is. 

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      Bredaviesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Are you serious? He can't tell you that you aren'ta christian. If you say you are how can he say you aren't. And I don't think religion should really matter that much

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      fishmoxposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well, first off, since you met him online, you don't really know who he is, do you ?
      Like the cartoon says:  One of the great things about the internet is nobody knows you're really a dog.
      
      
      
      Ask him what he means by he is a Christian.  I'll bet my bottom dollar he'll say because he believes in Christ and he accepted Christ and all that crap.  In which case you can tell him somebody else told you his is a "standards" Christianity, not a Scripture Christianity.
      You probably told him you have not accepted Christ as your "personal Savior" which is why he says you're not a Christian, and I think at this stage, you both not knowing yet the color of the other's eyes, talking about the future is rather....corny ?
      
      
      
      You're not bothered, depressed, bewildered.
      I like that.
      You got a good head on those shoulders.
      
      
      
      Take it from this Christian.
      You don't wanna do that.
      It's unfair for you, and for him.
      Suppose you smoke and he doesn't ?  Suppose you like to hold hands and he doesn't ?  Suppose you're waiting for that good night kiss, and he thinks that'll be a sin ?
      Suppose you're in this very crowded restaurant, and he "bows his head in prayer" before eating ?
      
      Trust me.
      You don't wanna do that.
      Ciao.

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      berra10posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes you can but he says you are not a Christian so whye waste your time on him! You will finde some one nice man anny way.

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      Sally's Troveposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Either you are a christian or you are not.  Only you know that.  If you say you are, then you are.
      
      I understand why you would engage with someone who demeans your beliefs this way...perhaps he's seductive, very interested in you, wants to hear you talk, seems to care very much for you, is focused on you.  In other words, he's got your number.  He found something in you that he can tap for his own benefit, which is to make you feel doubtful and inferior, thereby increasing his power and control.  Where's the future in that?
      
      Don't we all deserve someone to lift us up in communion instead of drag us down in subjugation?

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       Drew Breezzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Yes and its best not to talk to strangers online. It would be better if you found a boy you knew and liked, go from there.

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       ryankettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       No! I think that you should most definitely date me instead! You are certainly the prettiest hubber.

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          fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Dude, you gotta do better than that. One thing wrong with that line is - since you're trying to get her to dump a fella she's fallen for, virtually,and date you, just cos you think she's the 'prettiest' wont fly. And also, it totally jeopardizes your chances of making it with another hubber. I mean, you aint gonna be using the prettiest-hubber line again anytime soon.

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             ryankettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Yeah or maybe I was just complimenting a girl on her good looks without any ulterior motive? It's not like I can actually date somebody who lives what... 6,000 miles away? internet dating is not for me I am afraid! I prefer at least a little physical contact!
             
             I am also engaged (that happened in Vegas), to a girl that sleeps in my real life bed most nights, so that would probably make things a little difficult too! I don't think that she would take too kindly to me having a 'virtual' girlfriend.
             
             But still, Jenny88 is without a doubt the prettiest girl on here.... especially with her previous pic.

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             AsherKadeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             
             
             
             smeone needs Dr. Ruth....

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       mwakyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I'am a christian too so I will not try to take sides here bt the word of God says that your are not allowed to marry a non- christian because it may cause some problems in the family for they have different beliefs.

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          ryankettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          My dad was from a catholic family and my mum was from a church of england family, but my mum and dad were not particularly religious so where is the problem? I was neither christened or baptised, and have grown up as an athiest. Do my grandparents think any less of me? of course not. Personally I think that not accepting somebodies opinions and beliefs and taking them for who they are is a very unchristian thing to do. Remember that 'god' is supposed to love us all? why can worshippers of 'god' apply the same principle and love everybody too?

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             JonTutorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             @Ryan My dad was JW and mom catholic... things didn't work out for them... they got divorced... I was baptised... but now I'm skeptic about "God".. although I still believe in some higher power.

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             beautyroseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Don't you think its the right time now for you to have a religion and start believing in God. Remember life too short and Don't gamble to be in hell of not believing that God exist. Cheers

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                ryankettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Don't you think that its about time for people like you to accept the beliefs of others? I don't go around telling believers that god doesn't exist much in the same way that I don't go around telling 5 year olds on christmas eve that santa claus doesn't exist. Personally I think that finding a religion which I don't really believe in would be a complete waste of my time; it would certainly hinder my adsense earnings. I would also have to alter a lifestyle full of 'sin' which I enjoy far too much, all the name of a book which is difficult to understand.

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                   Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Not sure how you arrive at the conclusion 'would hinder my adsense earnings ' from ,but I do at least commend you for your expressing your honests thought re the bible, and you do show you at least have some respect for Christ, by not being fake.

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                      ryankettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      Its quite simple really eaglewiki, worshipping god and reading a very long - almost never ending - book takes a lot of time. Time is money, in order to explore religion in depth I would need to read lots, talk lots and critique lots; if I really wanted to become a practicising religious type then this would require some sort of ongoing regime too. Whether that is going to church/mosque or meditating. They all take up time, and my time is already taken up by two blogs, hub pages, applying for postgrad courses and looking for a job. That is my reason for not wanting to explore religion as a concept and is thus probably the same reason I will never be a believer, unless somebody wants to start a religion called 'The Hub of Entrepreunership and Betterment', I would happily join that - as long as I don't have to give 10% of my earnings to it.

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                         Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                         Interesting persperctive,and does sound exhausting  put that way.

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          beautyroseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          mwaky wrote:

          
          
          For me its ok. But you see if you marry someone of different religion the setting is hard cause like if I'm catholic and your a Muslim we can't be wed unless you convert to catholic as how i understand it.

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       mobilephone guideposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       it doesn't matter. it's still your decision.

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          easyspeakposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          woah mobilephone guide, you look like Jesus...it made your answer sound more weighty.

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       Dr Smarterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Jen, I am glad you raised this question  as it does confuse alot people and arouse alot of emotions.
       Let me just say that even Christian whom claim that they are "Christian" are not the best examples of Christians.
       Remember (very simply) Jesus sat with the rich, poor, sick, criminals, pharisees and so on. Why? not to Judge them but to spread
       the word of God and teach many the error of their ways.
       
       Ok if he is a good Christian and practicing his faith in God he should not be Judging you first and foremost - not his job to.
       He should look into your heart. What he should do and is supposed to do is use a common ground which you both have and
       encourage you, speak life into you, entice you to want to be, I guess, a practicing Christian. And who knows
       a good strong relationship can be create based on faith (faith in Gods word), which is important to serious Christians
       
       to cut things short; check list the below two,
       1. Jen if you are Christian are you saved/born again. That is do you accept Jesus Christ as your saviour?
       2. Its all about intentions. If your intention is to lead a practicing Christian away from God into a life of sin (and yes, sorry,
       it does include sex esp before marriage) then do not go down that road.
       
       Otherwise if good is to come out of the interaction between the both of you, then nothing is wrong with it.
       This is a very simplified response to a very complex matter, at which I have seen relationships end in immense heart ache for both parties
       involved. Be the relationship Muslim vs Christian, Atheist vs Christian, Christian (non) vs "Christian" the underlying principle remains
       the same. I am interested in seeing how you progress feel free to mail me and keep in contact. I love to see relationships work and help create
       them.
       
       And remember many are saved, but few are chosen.... God's words
       
       Best regards
       
       Dr Smarter.

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   jenny88posted 14 years ago

   Mr Usman?

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   fierycjposted 14 years ago

   That's a pretty smart comment there, Asherkade. No kidding.

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      AsherKadeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      TY. I think we should give ppl a chance before jumping in with a judgement. Half of the time, quite truthfully, I think your opinions and that of Panda's stink. Yet, I know that both of you two probably are highly intelligent and creative, wonderful people even if we have different views.

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         fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         You're nuts comparing me with that psychopath, Pamda Man.

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            Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I have to agree with CJ there , Pamda loves to incite, Cj's more of a challenger but treats me with respect ,but maybe thats because Im a female

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               JonTutorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               CJ is my friend too... But calling somebody "psychopath" not cool.... Gotta be used only for hard core criminals.

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                  fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  You're right. But I always call people who're not really psychopaths, psychopaths. Dont mean to. Just do. Lol. But Pamda Man is weird, though. You gotta admit that much, Jon.

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                     JonTutorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     "Weird" is subjective.... for ya I'm "weird" being a Christian.... if I did Budhist meditation.... this world has too many folks... I gotta just look inside... I'm not gonna spend too much time judging others....  unless they're fundamentalists.... spewing hate. 

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                        fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                        Dude, trust me, I come from the fiery bowels of the heart of Africa - I'm like an expert on weird. Okay, you doubt me. Just read the guy's bio. If you still disagree, then I'll concede. Deal?

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                           JonTutorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                           There're some folks who take there animal profiles too seriously... can you explain...what exactly you found so "weird"?... if at all there is such a thing as "weird".

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                              fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                              Jeez man, I concede. You win. If I cant show you cant see for yourself the weirdness of Pamda Man, I GIVE UP.

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                                 beautyroseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                 Actually I want to marry a christian too. But if it happens that I have a date to non christian maybe its ok in the long run I would convince him to convert to my religion hehe . so now who wants to date me? lols

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                                 JonTutorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                 Dude It isn't a game.... we both can be winners... now I'm acting "weird"?

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                                 Pamda Manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                 Dude...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

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                                    fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                    Oooh, PAMDA man...so full of riddles and fun puzzles to solve.

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                                       Pamda Manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                       Oh dude... why is it that everytime you have to get every thread off-topic... Dude, are you a dude? Or are you a dodo? Anyway, I wish you the best of luck in life, dude. I hope you don't overheat, dude.

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                                          fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                          why would I overheat...when I've got PAMDA MAN and PANDAGOD to keep me in check!

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                                             JonTutorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                             Dude we gotta chill out with Samuel Adams... Does Panda God drink Beer?

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            AsherKadeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            sorry, forgive me. I only meant both of you are opinionated....not that you have the SAME opinions
            

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   world of the wiseposted 14 years ago

   I dont advise you, you will always crash, it is better you get someone with similarities

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   Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

   I think he sounded wise to make a choice based on values ,beliefs before either of you got hurt. (thats assuming he was right)
   
   Just look how well the opposites get on in this forum for example

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      JonTutorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Life's gonna be boring..... healthy arguments makes things interesting.

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   KerryRogersposted 14 years ago

   Hello
         You where asking if a non christian should date a christian?  The answer is No .
         If a christian dates a non christian then they are only asking for trouble.

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      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      That's very narrow minded 

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   Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

   Is it the same thing to ask
   
   'Should I date a black man'?

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      fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      No its not. Lol. Every woman ought to date a black man at least once in their life. It broadens their perspective, intellectually...and otherwise.

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         Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         lol , but whats the difference

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         Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Urban legends and myths belong in another forum.

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            Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            ooooo dems is fighting words...im j/k
            
            delete my post Cj , im just playin

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            fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Hmmm, did I hear playerhater...Oh yes, I just did.

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               Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               naw playa! iss awl good

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               Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               me not hater or a player
               
               nope

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         AsherKadeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         LMFAO!!!
         
         
         
         good one fiery...

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            fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            is the above supposed to be a complementary picture of me...first of all, I'm not thin like that, hell no. Second of all, I would never dress so corny. Black leather jackets are more my thing. Thirdly, I would never pose with a bag like that! What is that Western high school look or what? I'm reaching for a paper bag now, I'm about to throw up. Thanks for messing up my morning, Asherkade. You really are a spot - a friggin' Prince Charming!

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   blondepoetposted 14 years ago

   Jenny if there is love between two people their religion, colour of skin is irrevelant.
   I say go shake your groove.!!!!

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   Sally's Troveposted 14 years ago

   Gee whiz, jenny88...do you have something to say to all of this?  There's been some good advice offered in your direction.

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    Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

    Psst BP Petal , I answered you re bikini sizes on my hub hehe, did ya get it g/f ,sorry relised later I should have emailed ,but was late an was tired ( excuses...excuses)...

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    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    Ok - here's comes the mother in me coming out, but I hate to think of any young woman meeting anyone online and considering actually meeting him in person.  It's scary enough when older people meet on sites for that; but young women are the biggest targets for the most common kind of freak.
    
    This person you met may actually be using the Christian thing as an excuse not to date you.  Maybe he never had any intentions of dating anybody and it's all been just talk.

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       beautyroseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Lols actually this my problem now the man who loves me is a protestant while I'm catholic. I don't want to be protestant Just don't know if he wants to be catholic too.

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       Marisa Wrightposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Lisa, I disagree completely.
       
       Jenny, if this person lives too far away for you to meet easily, you should dump him now. A long-distance internet relationship is too fraught with dangers and difficulties to be worth pursuing in the face of obstacles.
       
       If this person lives close enough to meet, you should meet him now.  Don't exchange phone numbers, just agree to meet at a coffee shop in a well-frequented area.  You can't tell if a person is lying on the internet - you have a much better chance face to face.  It will be much easier to discuss all the issues in a real life meeting - and you might find you don't even fancy him anyway!

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    SweetiePieposted 14 years ago

    I would be careful about dating a guy who says he is a really good Christian.  My friend goes to church and she has a great amount of interest in the Bible, but her ex broke up with her just because he thought she was not Christian enough for him.  I really just found the guy to be too judgemental to be honest.  Last year she met a very nice guy that does not seem to have these judgemental tendecies and they are now engaged.

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    ryankettposted 14 years ago

    Haha FiercyCj, you were so right.... Jenny88 is not even the one I had the hots for, it was Jenny30.... thought that she looked like 100% different; now I have told the wrong hubber that she is the prettiest

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    easyspeakposted 14 years ago

    Hi Jenny,
    
    I think the more important question is...are you a Christian.  He's not sure, but you don't sound sure either.  If you are sure, no problem, the guy's an idiot.  But if you're not sure, I think you should pursue that question before you pursue a relationship with a man.  That question is a matter of eternity, you should make sure you have it cleared up either way.
    
    -Easyspeak

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    Earthscribeposted 14 years ago

    Lisa, I'm with Marisa on this one so long as someone -- woman or not -- is prudent in the matter. This is a new era of communication, and many young people are meeting online... in fact it's very common. I met my last girlfriend online, who was 23, and have dated many women thereby. The trouble only comes if someone confuses reality with fantasy, or, what we want not matching up with what is real. That's where naive people can get hurt by not knowing the score. Smart folks investigate, communicate. Victims walk into traps, poor dears.
    
    Jenny, a lot of folks here have spoken with wisdom, while others have, well, just spoken. I think the key is communication -- communication will reveal your compatibility with this person. Marisa pegged it above...

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