Would you take a family member to Court, if they could not repay a debt owed to

1. 61

   Lady_Eposted 11 years ago

   Would you take a family member to Court, if they could not repay a debt owed to you?
   
   (I can’t because it could ruin our relationship.)

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2. 42

   unknown spyposted 11 years ago

   No I cant.. Since they are a family member, we should settle the problem as a family too.

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3. 0

   msorenssonposted 11 years ago

   No...I don't believe in debt between family members and friends to begin with...If I were the one personally giving the money..

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4. 80

   Seeker7posted 11 years ago

   I can only speak for my own family as we are very close. I would never take any member of my family to court. Anything like this we would settle ourselves and in private.

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5. 37

   ZIa Ahmed khanposted 11 years ago

   No, this is not the way family member should be treated. First  i will try to solve the difficult situation the member is facing and wait for my reward on the day of judgement HereAfter.

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6. 61

   jencooperposted 11 years ago

   No.  I would never loan an amount of money to a family member, or anyone else for the matter, that I would need to see back.  I just assume it as a gift and if they do repay it, that is just a bonus.

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7. 60

   Aris Budiantoposted 11 years ago

   No, money is not really a big issue, family always comes first. If they could not repay make it as a gift.

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8. 61

   MickSposted 11 years ago

   I only loan money to family and friends.  Once it is gone I consider it to be dead money that will probably have no return and is so, a gift.  Taking someone to court who can't, rather than won't, repay, is not going to miraculously give them the ability to pay.

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9. 60

   girlgonestrongposted 11 years ago

   You framed the question based on the fact that they "could not" repay a debt owed.  If they really couldn't pay back the money then why would you take them to court?  The only reason would be to get a judgement against them and thrash their credit so that you could levy wage & tax return garnishments and bank account levies and stuff....that would just be plain evil and would poison your relationship with not only the, but everyone else in the extended family who they would blab to, as your actions would be seen as abusive, whether you consider them to be or not.  Not a good choice.

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10. 74

    tarkishatposted 11 years ago

    I'm gonna be real as only I can be. It depends on how much money and how close a family member it is. If it's a sister, mother, brother, or child. We should be able to handle that within the family. Now if it's In-laws, cousins, aunts, uncles or etc. They asses are going to be on Judge Joe Brown, cause I will be getting my money back. Don't borrow it if you don't plan on paying it back. If you can't afford to pay it back, how about babysitting, washing my car or running errands in order to pay back the debt you owe. Don't just act like I gave you the money, acknowledge my generosity and be appreciative.  Act like I'm the electric company and pay your bill, if not I'm cutting you off, family or not.

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11. 86

    SidKempposted 11 years ago

    Why take anyone to court if they truly can't repay the debt. Now, if they can, but won't, that's another story.
    
    In addition, I once had a very good lawyer advise me that it never made sense to go to court (except small claims court) for anything worth under $50,000, because all the money would go to the attorneys.

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12. 60

    JanHeathposted 11 years ago

    I have experienced this at a distance and my experience is that the only ones who benefit from this situation are the lawyers and their costs can very quickly eclipse the amount in dispute.  If there is a decision to go to go to court then lawyers need to be chosen very carefully and research carried out on whether there is a reasonable chance of the possible gain equalling the (pretty much certainly high) cost.  There is also the cost to family relationships (which you have mentioned) and these can be far wider than the conflict with the family member with whom there is an issue.   Ultimately though everyone has to make their own decision about where the value does, or doesn't, lie in going down this path.  For myself, I wouldn't.

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13. 58

    iefox5posted 11 years ago

    Not, family is family. Money is not as important as family member.

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14. 71

    theseusposted 11 years ago

    Definitely not..
    
    Settle it amicably but don't drag that family issue to the Courts. At the end of the day, he/she is not just an ordinary debtor but a family member.

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15. 61

    cheaptoysposted 11 years ago

    no way. maybe you can try to resolve this through other means.

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16. 67

    Clive Donegalposted 11 years ago

    I don't lend more than I can afford to kiss off. The one time I broke this rule, lending thousands to a family member when I was very low on money, I didn't see a penny. Taking the person to court was not, for me, an option. But I leared and that and he never got another penny from me for any reason.
    By the way, he said that he shouldn't pay me back because his (now ex)wife told him he didn't owe me anything.
    If he "could not" pay me back, it would not have been an issue for me.

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    1. 61

       Lady_Eposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Sorry to hear about that Clive but somehow in life, you will get your money back through another source. Karma.

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17. 70

    dashingclaireposted 11 years ago

    When I give/loan money to a family member, I don't expect it back. So I only give what I can afford not to get back. I have said no on occasion because of that. If I get it back, it's a nice surprise.

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18. 59

    Chance Brittposted 11 years ago

    i agree with sidkemp on the whole if they can repay it but dont point, but i would also take in mind what the family member is to me, how they treat me, what i did for them, and if i have enough respect for them to not take them to court.

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19. 81

    Becky Katzposted 11 years ago

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20. 82

    Catherine Kaneposted 11 years ago

    If they can not repay it, taking them to court won't change anything except put them further in debt, make it less likely that they can pay me back and poison our relationship besides
    
    I'm with folks who don't loan money unless they can afford to lose it.
    
    Have you considered mediation?...

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21. 63

    Sheepsquatchposted 11 years ago

    If they couldn't pay you, why would you take them to court? It would cost money to hire an attorney and they still couldn't pay.

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22. 60

    Diane Woodsonposted 11 years ago

    I think Sid Kemp is correct. If they were wealthy and took my money yes I think I would have to hire a lawyer if that's the only way to get the money.

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23. 0

    BethDWposted 11 years ago

    Absolutely not. Like many of the people who have already responded, I would never 'loan' money to a family member if I was going to need that money back. I would help out a family member with a gift, and if they chose to pay me back in the future then that's a different story. But finances should never jeopardize familial relationships.

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    1. 60

       Diane Woodsonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       what a nice person!

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24. 81

    Becky Katzposted 11 years ago

    My sister is the executor of our mothers estate. Our mother died nine years ago. The estate is still not settled and she owes me a house. I am about to take her to court.

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    1. 61

       Lady_Eposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Aaawh... It's a pity it came to that, but that is a situation that will also benefit your kids. I hope it's sorted amicably in the long-run. Good Luck.

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25. 71

    CR Rookwoodposted 11 years ago

    I never loan money to family unless I am prepared to give them the money.

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26. 69

    grinnin1posted 11 years ago

    No. I think to keep things uncomplicated, you should never 'loan " money to a family member. If you want to help out, and have the means to do that, it is better to give them the money. If it's money you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't be loaning it in the first place, because then soon you'll be taking out a loan from another relative!

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    1. 59

       Chance Brittposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       very true i agree fully

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27. 72

    Pandapocalypseposted 11 years ago

    As SidKemp said, if the person was truly unable to pay then no.  However in the case of someone choosing not to pay when they had the means, absolutely yes.  I love my family dearly, but the idea that a certain group of people should receive defferential treatment because you happen to share the same DNA doesn't hold much water with me.  Family members can be just as abusive as strangers, and should be held to the same standard if the need arises.

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28. 60

    gabgirl12posted 11 years ago

    Unfortunately, this is why when it comes to family, I rarely do business with them unless I know they are trustworthy. In my family, we don't owe, we just give each other what's needed without expecting anything in return. Or we make a fair arrangement with something that we owe, that we can't pay.
    
    Here's an example. I wouldn't sell a car to a family member, but I would to someone who isn't because I would write an agreement and that person would have to pay me before taking the car.
    
    With a family member I would just give them a 'car' if I still owed and couldn't catch up with the payments. That would obligate them to transfer it to their name and they'd have the obligation to finish paying it. It would be beneficial to them because they wouldn't have to pay a lump sum, plus I can relax and pay other bills or finance another car. 
    
    I don't think I would ever want to be in that situation with a family member. Owing sucks for menial bills, and for family it is no different. When someone is trustworthy and you know they are proven to have done some good business, then I would go for it, but not for someone who 'never' pays up.
    
    I think in drastic situations, if I knew the person was paying me 'something' every month I could work with that. But again...it would have to be a serious emergency.

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29. 55

    Linds Blairposted 7 years ago

    No would not I got cash gave to me by my aunt 7year ago and my cousin got me lifted and they did not care about her could not even come up for the funeral I had to do everything my self

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