For A Bookworm Like Me.....who are they calling a nerd?
It's too bad young people have to be concerned with these things. There's a line from a song in the musical, La Cage aux Folles (which, if anyone doesn't know, is about gay guys; but the song pretty much applies to everyone). The song is, "I Am What I Am", and the line I love is, "I am what I am, and what I am needs no excuses." It's hard to keep that kind of thinking in mind when you're dealing with classmates, but one of the best ways to be accepted for whoever you are is to keep that kind of thinking.
Of course, reality is that at least while you're in a school setting, thinking that way but dressing "mainstream" (as it applies to what's "in fashion") does make life easier. Amen
- Crazdwriterposted 14 years ago
0 Valerie, I agree that we shouldn't care about what other people think and we shouldn't dress to conform; but there are realities to being a student in school setting, where people aren't grown-up and where almost everyone is insecure; and sometimes life for young people can be easier if they wait until they're not in school (either at the end of a school day or once they graduate) to disregard something like "what's in fashion" and do their own thing.
When I got out of school I felt as if I finally could be free to wear what I wanted (often a skirt, in a time when girls and women would "brag" that they "don't own a skirt"). I was never someone to wear absolutely everything everyone else "always wore", but I will admit to making sure I never wore anything that "nobody else wore" or that only the "uncool kids" wore. Yes, I conformed to some degree (fashion-wise); but within the realities of a school setting sometimes that can make the difference between being someone who "generally belongs" and someone who feels isolated from his peers. I'm not in favor of people conforming when it comes to their values, ideas, or interests; but with something as simple as what ones wears to school; even if I, as an adult, believe we should all wear what it is right for us (and even if I think its unfortunate kids in school have the "issue" of "what's in fashion" for young people); I saw how life was for kids who made no effort to generally wear the kinds of stuff other kids wore in school.
My daughter wouldn't wear some of the "extreme" things her classmates wore to, say, high school; but in general, she wore the stuff that was fashionable for kids her age. In any group or social setting there are ways people often adjust their behavior to what fits the situation. I'm as big a non-conformist (and so are all three of my kids) as anyone, but I don't think it's a bad thing for young people (in school) to learn (as my daughter did) how to dress in fashion while still choosing the items that are right for them. It may stink, but there's a social/emotional "survival aspect" to it, as there is in many institutional settings. I'm not advocating extreme, robot-like, conformity in the way students dress - only not wearing anything so weird or out of style it makes them get made fun of. (I think, maybe, there's a Hub we could write about this. ).vampiregurl, you should write a Hub about your own experiences and/or your ideas about what schools or others could do to try to improve the situation.
I got through school without anyone "making fun of me" (ever) or saying anything negative (at least to my face or within my ear shot; I don't kid myself that there will always be someone who has stuff behind people's back). I think that was partly because I so looked so young (really, really, young and small) the more "sophisticated" girls didn't see me as a threat, the nice boys weren't about to make me fun of me, and the otherwise tough boys seemed to know I was someone who minded my business (some of the even seemed to enjoy making me laugh).
There's no doubt about it that I was careful not to wear anything that would be too different from the kind of stuff "everybody" was wearing; and I made sure I didn't make self-righteous, disgusted, face when someone would act up or be a clown. I never pretended to be someone other than myself, but there's no doubt about it I kept a low profile for that "self". The trade-off for all that minding-my-business and not wearing anything that would get me made fun of to my face was the I had a pretty positive experience in school. The other side to it, though, was maybe I got at least enough respect not to be made fun to my face precisely by being myself (even if I did mind my business and have a "live and let live" attitude). I do think when young people select items of clothing they like from whatever is out there that's reasonably within what's in fashion at school, they send a message that they see themselves as "one of the group", rather than as someone who wants to attract attention to themselves or emphasize that they don't want to be a part of the group. That may not be great in post-school life, but while people are dealing with a group of people who aren't grown up yet, there's something to be said for sending that message that one sees himself as one of the group (not a loner, not superior, not an oddball, etc.)- sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago0
Great - I know I'll be among the readers.
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