Marry the one you love or the one who loves you?

1. 79

   Rosualdo Ponceposted 9 years ago

   If I have to make a choice, I will marry the one who loves me. What's the purpose of love if I can't love her. A happy marriage is not based on emotion but it is based on application of the available ingredients to make it a delicious thing to take in.

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2. 61

   Omer123posted 9 years ago

   i think to be single is the only solution in this way you can give time to both that s the solution never hurt any body ;(

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3. 90

   Chriswillman90posted 9 years ago

   Those are awful choices if you have to make them because it's a lose-lose situation. Someone will end up unhappy on the other end whether that person is you or your spouse. I would also choose to either stay single or look for someone else that will hopefully love you as much as you love them.
   
   I find that divorces often come about because they're so one sided, and the lack of communication is why one party is often bamboozled when they find out their significant other is filing for divorce.

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4. 59

   nathandrew3112posted 9 years ago

   Out of the two choices, I would rather prefer to marry the one who loves me since it could guarantee that she would treasure me. But that alone would end up getting a divorce due to the fact that possibly we aren't in sync at all.

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5. 64

   M Asif Jameelposted 9 years ago

   I think it's best to marry a person who loves you instead of whom you love because if you are someone's beloved then you'll get love forever but if you are someone's lover then you can be deprived of the love anytime

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6. 76

   Nicole Grizzleposted 9 years ago

   There is no point in being led on. So don't stay in a relationship in which you aren't loved.
   
   There is no point in leading someone on. So don't be in a relationship in which you can't love the person.
   
   So the only thing that can be debated is what the definition of love is, and if someone can "force" themselves to love another.

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7. 63

   Travis Spearsposted 9 years ago

   Seems to me that if you want someone who doesn't want you, that's lust.

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8. 72

   Besarienposted 9 years ago

   The same question is: Marry someone who doesn't love me or someone I don't love?
   
   I believe if I did either one then I would be denying a mutual loving relationship to my spouse, myself, and possibly to both our ideal partners. Why ruin four lives just to be unhappily married?

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9. 0

   vhaywardposted 8 years ago

   The obvious answer is neither. A relationship should not be one person loving without the other loving them back the same way. It will only breed feelings of resentment. You shouldn't get married if you're not committed to the relationship as they are a lot of work. If both people are not totally committed to the relationship what is their motivation to remain when things become difficult? Better to not be in a lackluster love relationship and able to work on yourself or find someone who will love you in the same way you love them.

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10. 52

    peter565posted 8 years ago

    My idea married someone that is (1) a girl that is hot and (2) somebody that is also your best friend.

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11. 71

    androidfanposted 8 years ago

    If it was my choice then I would go for the girl who loves me. I think the you have gotten your answer.

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12. 61

    monia saadposted 8 years ago

    Marriage to someone loves you, of course.It will always trying to make you love. I am sure that with the passage of time will love. Because he will also do all it can even make you happy. On the contrary, it will always feel frustrated because you will not find the other hand, which are worth. Love from my point of view integrated relationship I can not give the length of the line without a return. Even if it is small and a little contrast

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13. 59

    Rituparna Biswasposted 8 years ago

    According to me, love should be reciprocal. Otherwise there will be a slight chances of misunderstandings and fight.

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14. 60

    Peter Wathituniposted 8 years ago

    First, we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one. "What about love? Shouldn't that be the third? You ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
    The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love!
    Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
    Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.
    You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.
    Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.
    Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.
    Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.

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15. 51

    icvposted 8 years ago

    Very interesting question. Both type of relationship has its own benefits as well as some risks. Comparatively I prefer the second one. Because you can adjust yourself than trying to adjust others to us....

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16. 60

    abhishekpandey777posted 8 years ago

    the one who love you as it will give you life time satisfaction in terms of real partner.

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17. 67

    Mihnea Andreescuposted 8 years ago

    None.Reciprocal love and respect are the key to a succesful and stable marriage so I would say that you should marry someone who loves you as much as you do .

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18. 90

    Rachel L Albaposted 8 years ago

    Marry the one you love, marriage is hard enough when you do love your spouse.  If you don't, it's impossible.

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19. 0

    Jonas Rodrigoposted 8 years ago

    I would marry the one who loves me. I don't believe in the movie version of love (you know, the one where true love means loving a person even if every circumstance is against it). I think love can be learned. I could learn to love them. And, just in case, I don't really learn to love, at least the person will be happy because they have me, and I'll be happy too because I'm assured that the person I'm with loves me dearly.

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20. 52

    sushreechoudharyposted 8 years ago

    from my personal experience you should marry the person who loves you so much.By seeing his love you will automatically fall in love with that person.In this world very few people are lucky to get the  right person.But I am feeling very much lucky that I got the person who loves me so much and i too love him so much.If someone loves you ,caresyou and respect you so much even if you don't like him  you will start liking him and love him.So all the best.What ever you will do ,it will be best for you.

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21. 59

    Shiela De Guzmanposted 8 years ago

    It's Really hard to choice from both. hard to Marry someone you don't love and hard to push your self to be married from your love but doesn't love you back. For me i Just only want to feel to love and to be loved. But if this the situation is  then i think i might choose to become a nun. hahha

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22. 71

    choosetoliveposted 8 years ago

    Love is a mutual relationship. It should exist between both to have a long term relationship called Marriage. Love is something we should always provide first to other person rather than expecting from them. This will help in long term relationship.  However to answer the above question, its better to marry someone you don't love to start with. But their true love will transform you one day to care for them.

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23. 49

    akashbdposted 8 years ago

    maybe marry i love you then you It;s too easy to say mutual love. The question really asks us to make a tough choice. If I had that choice on my plate, I'd marry the one who loves me, because I would treat that woman well and with consideration. My love could easily grow, but I wouldn't choose the

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24. 69

    hubsyposted 8 years ago

    Marry the one you love AND the one who loves you, you should be loving the one who loves you back, and that is the perfect  marriage, and if you the one you love marries you then they love you back, that is what you want, you shouldn't have to choose!

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25. 53

    shnaya sehgalposted 8 years ago

    well ! marrying the person who loves you is a better idea because if other person loves you passionately,he /she will definately be there in ups and downs . acc to me a trustworthy and loving partner make a life worth and meaningfull rather  being a failed lover .

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26. 84

    passionatelearnrposted 8 years ago

    Love should be mutual.if the person who comes up to your standards and also loves you then definetly marry her

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27. 80

    alan rajposted 8 years ago

    Its better to marry someone whom you love and whom loves you back(mutual love), but that is not the situation here. Its better to marry someone you love though he/she doesn't love as much as you love if you can adjust with her.it is said she doesn't love as much as you love,not she hates you.

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28. 52

    Hawraa Azizposted 8 years ago

    It is easy to know the answer but too hard to live the reality of the choice you make. I think most of guys will go with "the person who loves you" because they know that this girl will be so good to them and loyal too. But in real life none of them would be able to make this choice and I think it's genetic. in the other side, most of girls would go with "the person you love" because for me I know I will be happy with him no matter what, and I know with the person who I don't love I might think about another and for me I think it will be cheating. But again and in real life, if I used my brain then I would go with "the person who loves me". It is a "heart" or "brain" work that's all. in the end and in my personal opinion to be single is better than cheating even in thoughts, or pretending that you like somebody or that you are happy with him.

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29. 92

    iggy7117posted 8 years ago

    I would say you need both for the relationship to work, if they do not love you then how long will they stay around, if they love you then you need to make it last without love and that you will tire of as well. Seek someone that you find both with and then you have a chance at a lasting relationship.

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30. 0

    lisasuniquevoiceposted 8 years ago

    seriousnuts,
    You don't want to marry someone that you don't love, because if you're lucky you'll be with that person for a long time. I can't imagine sitting across from my husband on a Sunday afternoon and wishing I were with someone else. The years could get really long if that were the case.
    Lisa

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31. 57

    prairielassposted 7 years ago

    I wouldn't choose any of the two if I had a choice. But if I were forced to choose, I would rather marry the man who is head over heels on me. But on my own terms. We may be married and living under one roof, but we are not to live as husband and wife for as long as I'm not ready to love him yet. I'll ask him to give me more time and be to get to know him better and reassess my feelings for him. If he really loves me, he would respect my decision and would be patient with me. Forcing me into doing something outside of love would only make me hate him but if he would court me during the marriage and would be willing to wait for some time, I would certainly fall in love with him in due time.

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32. 59

    roselinsojanposted 7 years ago

    Marry the one who loves you.love&respect each other.

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33. 54

    LydiaPennposted 7 years ago

    This is a tough decision in deed, and because the question never states any mutual attraction, this is defiantly a hard choice. Honestly, I would just stay single. I wouldn't want to be with someone I didn't love, though I'd be greatly flattered at their efforts, but I wouldn't want to love anyone who didn't love me, leading up to why I wouldn't marry a person who I DO love, but doesn't feel the same (or so I'm assuming). Yes, I love this person very much, but why love someone when you can't share it with said person? Wouldn't that just be torture? In both questions you're either the one being neglected, or the one neglecting, and I would never put myself in such a position. I believe there's someone out there who could love you and you could love them, all you have to do is search a little harder.

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34. 52

    Chaitanya Ravalposted 7 years ago

    A person can fall in love thousands of time but only if he wants to. It doesn't matter who is the other one, if you really want to work out, everything is possible. Now please don't say that you haven't ever flirt with a girl or have proposed. If you can do before the marriage, why not after it?
    I agree that having a person who you love for the rest of your life is like heaven. There is nothing beautiful like that. But hey you gotta give everyone a chance. One deserves it.

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35. 46

    Ashish Dadgaaposted 7 years ago

    Dear,
    
    Marry the one you love as you have to spend your whole life with him/her.

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36. 80

    blessedpposted 7 years ago

    Neither.
    Love isn't half the way, it is all the way. Marrying for anything else other than love will never last.

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37. 60

    tracy huffposted 5 years ago

    I think you should love him uncondionally and he should love you the same if not the marriage wont work out there will be no fun times. love should be shared between two people not one.

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