Marry the one you love or the one who loves you?

Jump to Last Post 151-200 of 287 discussions (309 posts)
  1. Evil Stepmother profile image61
    Evil Stepmotherposted 10 years ago

    Do not marry anyone until you know where you stand with them and where they stand with you.  Be sure you are both ready to settle down and commit, and make sure both of you can live with your circumstances.

    Do not rush into anything, because what if one of you eventually meets the person who reciprocates your feelings?  A marriage is much harder to dissolve than a dating relationship.  And a  commitment might make you feel trapped in your situation, if it ends up not working for you.

    Marry the person you could make happy and be happy with.

  2. mannyminds profile image60
    mannymindsposted 10 years ago

    Today, loving is practical.Follow your heart and you will not regret your decision.

  3. LadyFae profile image71
    LadyFaeposted 10 years ago

    I rather get married when we both love each other actually.

  4. Jonasdui profile image58
    Jonasduiposted 10 years ago

    It's better to marry someone who loves you rather than marrying the one who does not love you. Though it is complicated but in the end you will learn to love her/him.

  5. myinjuryattorney profile image56
    myinjuryattorneyposted 10 years ago

    for me, it is better to choose th one you love but at the same time the one who loves you. love can't be use if you are just the one who doing it.

  6. rikabothra profile image60
    rikabothraposted 10 years ago

    This is a tricky one... I could say both, but I have been in the same dilemma. I was in a relationship where the guy loved me much more than I loved him, and even he knew it - Later i broke up with him.
    Now i am in a relationship where even though my boy friend would say he loves me as much as i love him, i feel like i love him more. I miss my last relationship at times but I have come to realise you do not need to choose this way. Choose what makes you happier, i feel i'm much happier in my current relationship and want to marry him.

  7. SoleiMarie profile image56
    SoleiMarieposted 10 years ago

    If I would really have to make a choice I would rather choose the one who loves me because I believe that love develops through time. For me it will be an assurance of better future than someone who doesn't love me because I knew that he will do everything to please me rather than me doing things to please him.

    But then, it is still better to marry someone you love and loves you even more.

  8. gracesnyder10 profile image60
    gracesnyder10posted 10 years ago

    I think, and I KNOW this is controversial, that I would rather be with someone who loves me more than I love them. If I had to choose. Loving someone when they don't care about you to the same degree is one of the most painful experiences you can put yourself through. If you then had to marry the person who knew that you loved them more than they loved you, you would spend your life trying to make them love you with the same intensity that you loved them. Would you be able to be yourself? I don't think so. Would they ever come to love you? Maybe. But with someone who loves ME more than I love them, then I know that I am always safe with them. That they accept me for who I am and what I feel. I would eventually fall in love with them to the same degree. If anyone out there has read The Hunger Games, you will see the comparison here. Now one could take my argument and say that if I believe that I would fall in love with the person who loves me more, then whats to stop someone who loves me less from falling more in love with me after awhile. Personally I know myself, I'm sure there are people out there who wouldn't respond to someone loving them, and who would use the other person's feelings to get what they want from them and control them. That I think is my true fear. That in the first scenario I would be controlled by the person I love more than they love me. I know myself enough to know that I would never exploit someone if they loved me more than I loved them, I also know that eventually I would fall in love with them too.

  9. prasan49 profile image40
    prasan49posted 10 years ago

    i will marry the one who loves me...not the one who i love

  10. rembrandz profile image80
    rembrandzposted 10 years ago

    An ideal situation is to marry only if there's mutual love or never. Guess it's naturally a horrible way of life if it's one way.

  11. jake13edward profile image60
    jake13edwardposted 10 years ago

    Either one would not work.If you marry a women you don't love but she loves you why would you even get married.Even if you did you would probably start cheating on her.Same thing if a man marries a women he loves but she doesn't.She would never even marry you in the first place.So either way it wouldn't work.

  12. xXSweetiXx profile image61
    xXSweetiXxposted 10 years ago

    Your happiness is doomed in both scenarios. You must first love yourself, and be satisfied with who you are.

  13. Finn mac Faelan profile image61
    Finn mac Faelanposted 10 years ago

    Skip over the programming and love the one you're with.

  14. Beingbbw profile image60
    Beingbbwposted 10 years ago

    I definitely will marry the person who I may not love but is head over heels on me. Being married for a few years have taught me that most of the time. love alone is not enough to keep a marriage going.

    It's quite lucky to meet someone who feels the same about you from the the beginning but i've learnt that love grows stronger with time and life is too short to waste it in hope that someone will eventually grow to love you when there's someone else who adores me and will do anything for me. If I like this person enough to consider it, i will rather take a gamble on him and live happily than miserably and insecure.

  15. profile image48
    Purple1011posted 10 years ago


  16. amattmill profile image60
    amattmillposted 10 years ago

    Since the question is who would I rather marry, I would marry the one who loves me. Even if I didnt necessarily love her, I know that love could grow in that relationship.

  17. healthfans profile image59
    healthfansposted 10 years ago

    It's all depends,and a hard decision,I want to mary the one who love me and I also love her,otherwise,both would be senseless.

  18. PoliCommandments profile image61
    PoliCommandmentsposted 10 years ago

    If you are going to get married, that love should be shared mutually.  There should not be a choice of one or the other.  That will lead to an unhappy marriage.

  19. Nrjsh profile image64
    Nrjshposted 10 years ago

    I would rather marry the person who loves me because that would give me some trust and i can appreciate the love and may be i can fall in love with the person.

  20. makusr profile image60
    makusrposted 10 years ago

    Marry the person first, then fall in love. As love is blind, make a habit of falling at the same place.

  21. Rehana Stormme profile image72
    Rehana Stormmeposted 10 years ago

    Love is a two-way highway. Both partners need to understand what marriage means, what love means and why they are marrying the person.

    If someone were head-over-heels in love with me, and I didn't love him at the moment, I would seriously consider reasons why I should go ahead and marry him. That's what I would do. You might think differently about it. It's all subjective really.

  22. vianasya profile image59
    vianasyaposted 9 years ago

    Not everything in this world is always in ideal situation. But if I may answer this question, I think marry someone who loves you is the best choice. The person who loves you so much will soon makes you fall in love in time. Ofcourse it's totally hard at the beginning, but then it'll be easy. Especially when both realize that a marriage is a very sacred commitment.

  23. WookieWonderfuls profile image61
    WookieWonderfulsposted 9 years ago

    i really like this question, thank you. just reading through some of the answers in case it swayed my mind into a different direction.

    if i had to choose between the two, id marry somebody who loves me. Possibly because i always seem to do the loving part, until now big_smile
    But if I'm loved by this person theres a small possibility my love my grow.

    If i married somebody i didn't love id feel to guilty for it to even begin to work.

    Of course in an ideal world, it would be mutual.

    Thanks again for your question.

  24. marymina profile image60
    maryminaposted 9 years ago

    I think it is better to marry who loves me and I think will happen with time harmony between me and him

  25. mom0f2 profile image70
    mom0f2posted 9 years ago

    Wow...that's a question.  I would say think long and hard about the reasons you love the one you love.  Why don't you love the one that loves you? You can't make someone love you.  I guess I can't give a answer ...follow your heart.

  26. juiwei2000 profile image61
    juiwei2000posted 9 years ago

    Somebody who you love and love you too.  It should be that simple

  27. JasonLicerioPH profile image83
    JasonLicerioPHposted 9 years ago

    I would marry the one I love because that is the dream. You won't be fully satisfied when you just settle for the one who already loves you.

    It's just like choosing between a fresh fruit on the top of the tree and a rotten fruit that has fallen.

  28. Cat R profile image73
    Cat Rposted 9 years ago

    Out of experience:
    Marry the one that loves you! It's hard to find true love and I've been wrong so many times. If you have a choice, go for both. But finding a good man that loves you for who you are is almost impossible; especially in world were people are superficial!

  29. auge profile image60
    augeposted 9 years ago

    It depends on character. If you are happy to have kids and live with person who you do not love, and you respect him/her and treat as a loved one, so love will not dissapear, then I would choose to marry the one, who loves me. It is safer than marrying the one you love, becouse you are not sure if that person who doesnt love you will not leave you later.

  30. stariswhoiam profile image60
    stariswhoiamposted 9 years ago

    why can't it be both?
    Also, I would choose neither. The love should be reciprocated.

  31. profile image58
    mahmoudmaizposted 9 years ago

    one who loves you can make you love him

  32. profile image49
    kahiyeposted 8 years ago

    it is better to marry the one who loves u becoz some tyms you may fall in love with someone who annoys you, whose face looks and feels pathetic. Despite all of this, there’s something keeping you drawn to them, something that makes you want to protect them from the harsh world. What you fail to realize, however, is that you are the harsh world. You aren’t their noble protector — you are someone to be protected from but it takes a lot of dates, a lot of nights where you question whether or not you are actually a good person, for this to ever resonate with you. When it’s over and whatever love is left is put back in the fridge like a sad plate of leftovers, you will finally understand that you have the power to hurt someone. You can either hurt them or love them and it’s up to you to decide what kind of role you would like to take on in future relationships.

  33. Paolocruz profile image60
    Paolocruzposted 8 years ago

    I'd be forever alone if those are my only options. smile

  34. profile image52
    Craziestwomanposted 8 years ago

    I I will and have married the man whom I love , becoz I never want to be helpless and when I truly love my man , I never have to wait for him to respond. He can change someday .  I feel in control of relationship , coz i love him , this love gives me power and control .i feel respected by my myself . Of course to be love in return is essential but if the choices are only above too , I will take the risk where Iam sincere I know

  35. suzettenaples profile image87
    suzettenaplesposted 8 years ago

    That's a tough one!  Hopefully, the two of you will fall in love or love each other together.  I'd wait for that.  If that's not possible, marry the one that loves you.

  36. priti-hub profile image60
    priti-hubposted 8 years ago

    Marry the person who loves you... The feeling of being loved will make u too fall in love..

  37. arijitm2000 profile image81
    arijitm2000posted 8 years ago

    This is a tough nut to crack. In other words, this is a question that can never have a right or wrong answer, and just in-depth discussion of weighing the two options, even if it were for a poll, you wouldn't have any conclusion to take away from it. I believe love has to be on both sides, sincere, unconditional love for each other to get married, I've experienced the axe myself, so I know that it just has to be both & not mutually exclusive. That is the only equation that determines a marriage of two souls, otherwise have a domestic partnership/live-together relationship & never get married, why ruin 2 lives & the institution of marriage more than its already infamous for.

  38. Rosana Modugno profile image70
    Rosana Modugnoposted 8 years ago

    If those are the only choices, I would rather stay single.  It should be mutual, otherwise, I can't see how a healthy relationship will withstand the temptations of finding someone else to fill in the void left when you initially entered it and accepted those conditions.

  39. C.V.Rajan profile image60
    C.V.Rajanposted 8 years ago

    I would put it this way:
    It is best for you to marry the person who loves you.

    If it were to be really the best, then the same applies to the person who is in love with you (but you are not reciprocating). It means for that person, you are the wrong choice.

    So, where is the solution??!!

    1. Prakash RnP profile image42
      Prakash RnPposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I think it can't have a solution just because love can't be the basis of matrimony.

  40. old albion profile image67
    old albionposted 8 years ago

    Marry the one who loves you. You will both have a happier life. Love is all.

  41. profile image0
    JustCraftyposted 8 years ago

    If these are my choices, I would have to say marry the one who love me but hope that I would also learn to love that person in the near future.

  42. AvineshP profile image60
    AvineshPposted 8 years ago

    Marrying someone you love can be a wise move. Marriage comprises of various elements and 'understanding' is one of the key elements. You are aware about each other's nature and behavior, which really come handy in facing various odd and positive situations that are a part of every marriage.

  43. MrsGray32 profile image60
    MrsGray32posted 8 years ago

    I wouldn't choose either.  If the feeling isn't mutual then I'm not going to waste my time pretending that it is.  Life is too short for that. No reason to be living in the "what if's" and "why did I's"

  44. Stephanie7889 profile image80
    Stephanie7889posted 8 years ago

    Neither! Marry your best friend... you have things in common, and when the lusty part that happens at the beginning of a relationship peters out, you still have stuff to talk about.

    I definitely did this, and I would much rather spend a day driving go-carts and hiking with him than going on sappy dates. He's the best smile

  45. monic-alang profile image67
    monic-alangposted 7 years ago

    This is a complication if you marry the one who love you and you don't then I don't think so that will be nice idea as you'll not be so happy with him or if you marry the one who don't loves you then this also the same situation. I think this is best to find your partner according to your nature. But if have just these two choices and you think you can be happy in future with the one who loves you then that will be nice option...

  46. profile image52
    Undauntedposted 7 years ago

    I read it somewhere that it's not about finding the right person, it's about learning to love the person you found.

  47. profile image51
    marie-12posted 7 years ago

    it's hard to learn loving someone when you don't actually have that feeling, they say love can grow but if you have someone in your heart then it can make you think that it's better to be alone and wait for that love to fade (if it can) than to fool yourself with your own lies .. smile)

  48. SJ9190 profile image56
    SJ9190posted 7 years ago

    I heard many time "Marry a man who loves you more than you love him.” I figured it had to be true.

  49. jeugenejohn profile image49
    jeugenejohnposted 7 years ago

    The right person is waiting for you somewhere, someplace. When the time is right, you will know and mutual love blossoms. Then there is no reason to choose.

  50. MarieAlana1 profile image68
    MarieAlana1posted 7 years ago

    I have married someone who loves me and I love dearly. Love is something that you must work on. It is not something that is a lustful thing or something that somebody is looking at. It has to be a thing that comes from getting to know another person and by having lots of deep conversations with. In order to marry, each person should know from deep within that they love the person. Whether it is more or less than the other person loves the other is hard to explain. When two people truly love each other enough it is an unconditional thing that can not be measured. Each person has got to know that they love the other person no matter whether they are rich or poor, strong or weak, sick or healthy, or even good looking or not. Marriage is a commitment that should not be forgotten.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)