Marry the one you love or the one who loves you?

Jump to Last Post 201-250 of 287 discussions (309 posts)
  1. amiebutchko profile image76
    amiebutchkoposted 8 years ago

    It's gotta be mutual.  That is why finding the "right one" is a challenge!  If you want to be happy, you have to marry the right person.

  2. Sundeep Kataria profile image67
    Sundeep Katariaposted 8 years ago

    It is a tough choice. Just like the essential of a good communication is a two way process, love too has to be both ways for a marriage relationship to be successful.

    Well if you think that you can love, care and can establish compatibility with the person who loves you then marry that person, otherwise NO.

  3. profile image0
    YoungMistakeposted 8 years ago

    I would just stay single. Agreeing with someone I don't love but is head over heels for me will make me look desperate. And marrying a person  who doesn't love me back will make me look like a martyr.

  4. Prakash RnP profile image43
    Prakash RnPposted 8 years ago

    I believe love and marriage are irreconcilable with each other. Love matches, as I view it, are only travesties of marriage. The reason is simple. Any guy, even a penniless person or one on the unemployment dole, can make a good, even the best, lover. But in order to make a worthy husband, he must be a truly rich man. And by 'truly rich' I mean so rich as to be able to ensure the social and financial security, in addition to decent living, of his wives and children, as well as decent upbringing of the kids. Such a 'truly rich' guy is in my view a true lion of a man. We men, barring the insignificant few such as Mr Bill Gates, Mr Sachin R Tendulkar, etc, pitifully lack the capacity needed in order to deserve to be reckoned a lion of a man. Another serious point against the institution of matrimony is it is basically anti-feminine. It is so because feminine freedom is incompatible with this time-honoured institution simply because a free woman can't assure the paternity of her kids, and because matrimony is just reduced to a farce without such an assurance from the woman. For these reasons, I'm of the opinion that indulgence in the luxury, which is truly a silly, useless, and senseless luxury, of marriage and family or travesties in the name of marriage is unbecoming to a civilised human.

  5. profile image53
    Ash259posted 8 years ago

    It's definitely a tough choice because it's often difficult a change the way your heart feels towards a person and vice versa.If you do choose the one who you do not love but loves you,over time you may begin to feel love towards that person and, as for the person that you love but does not share your love,that person may refuse you no matter how much you profess your love to them. In the end,it's your decision to make. Good luck!

  6. HimanshuKatiyar profile image61
    HimanshuKatiyarposted 8 years ago

    i think the answer is marry the one who loves you..

  7. khalandar hs profile image59
    khalandar hsposted 7 years ago

    To be HONEST, I will choose the one who loves me,there's a advantage here, here i play the important role and everything depends on me.i can live happy life by loving her back or i can be happy by knowing there's someone for me,
                    But when comes to the 'one i love' everything depends on her there will be no 'ours' it will always be her's. I may regret my whole life for being in her life and for not giving her a wonderful life.

    1. Prakash RnP profile image43
      Prakash RnPposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Do you really expect to be happy if you can't love her or if she happens to be polyandrous and indulges in multiple liaisons?

  8. Gary Guion profile image38
    Gary Guionposted 7 years ago

    according to me its best to marry with one one who loves you.
    Its always tough to live with some who doesn't love you.

  9. alka suri profile image61
    alka suriposted 7 years ago

    Never break anyone trust in life specialy in love life marry to tat person who loves u more and  value more than like a this situation u should marry to that person to whom u given a promise to marry

  10. dp2web profile image61
    dp2webposted 7 years ago

    According to me Love should be mutual. You both should love, care and understand each other for awesome present and future. One side love will not work for longer period.

  11. Hui (蕙) profile image59
    Hui (蕙)posted 7 years ago

    For me, "I love" is necessary, but he got to love me too, otherwise, I wouldn't marry, which maybe the first reason I am still single until today.

  12. Harishprasad profile image79
    Harishprasadposted 7 years ago

    The word' love' has lost the real meaning in today's world. In a moment, we say we are in love, the next moment ,we part our ways. Love to some is a mere physical attraction and nothing else and just passing time with each other,having a physical touch ; and then everything is over. Wealth plays an important role in making artificial love with one another and getting into a relationship,marriage including. In such circumstances, thanks your stars that there is a guy who sincerely loves you only for the sake of you and not for anything else. Also, it is a GOD's grace upon you that you are a natural lover and possessor of such love that seeks nothing in return, not even love. In such a scenario, it does not make any difference if you marry the one you love or the one who loves you as one of you has assimilated love totally into the recesses of his/her heart, mind and made it's imprint on the soul as eternal.

  13. MargaritaEden profile image73
    MargaritaEdenposted 7 years ago

    Mary the one you love AND the one who loves you as well.

    1. Prakash RnP profile image43
      Prakash RnPposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Suppose the one that  truly loves you and is loved by you too doesn't have the capacity to make a worthy hubby , then?

    2. MargaritaEden profile image73
      MargaritaEdenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I don't have that dilemma smile but if you want to answer that question that would be interesting.

    3. Prakash RnP profile image43
      Prakash RnPposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Margarita, may be yours is an exceptional case. And the exception proves the rule, doesn't it?

  14. padmendra profile image44
    padmendraposted 7 years ago

    The best person for you to marry is someone who loves you, cares for you  because a caring person will always provide you safety, better way of living and of course would become a good father as well. The person you love might be a useless person and not suitable to be your husband and such kind of person has no determination in any of the words he says.

  15. Dave Wright profile image73
    Dave Wrightposted 7 years ago

    Neither.  Both of you must love each other with all of your heart and souls, and be committed and dedicated to each other and to God.

  16. the street writer profile image57
    the street writerposted 7 years ago

    marriage is a contract so if only one person signing it it wont become legal.
    like that both people need to love each other..then only it became a real marriage.
    give love and get loved that should be the slogan for the marriage..

    its better not to marry some one who loves you but you don't.'

    and not even try to marry some one whom you love but he don't.

  17. mohd ismail profile image55
    mohd ismailposted 7 years ago

    marry the one you love must,because if u marry the one you love, you can be happy throughout your life.
    if you are worrying  to marry a person you love means,maybe you are in love with a person who loves you the most,think about it.

  18. profile image56
    Jay Ravikumarposted 7 years ago

    If you live with a person who loves you, your life will be happier than you think!

  19. profile image52
    DennyMinnposted 7 years ago

    I would rather marry the one i love , but the precondition that he also  like s me .

  20. profile image52
    LindsayJennposted 7 years ago

    I will marry the one i love , though I love him more than he love me , I will be willing to marry with him , so as not to regret .

    1. Prakash RnP profile image43
      Prakash RnPposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Suppose the one you really love is lacking in the capacity to make a worthy hubby, then?

  21. Lilanie Ang profile image60
    Lilanie Angposted 7 years ago

    Love need not to be equal in amount but the mere presence of love is enough to grow a relationship. Love is like a plant, you need to water it everyday, pour some fertilizer and nurture with sun kissed love to keep it alive. Just like in a relationship, no matter how good the foundation is but without the preventive maintenance of keeping it alive, surely it will still go down in the long run.

    Therefore, I would go marry the one I love though he doesn't love me as much as I do. It would be an extra effort for me to make that person love me more and stick to me. It would be selfish to choose the one who loves me whom I don't love at all.

  22. TREVOR ASHER profile image61
    TREVOR ASHERposted 7 years ago

    How long do you want it to last? Do you want a divorce in six months or six years?

  23. Ann810 profile image77
    Ann810posted 7 years ago

    Women should definitely marry the one that loves her, because women love men easily than a man can love a woman. Plus the marriage might last forever when a woman marries a man that truthfully loves her.

    1. Prakash RnP profile image43
      Prakash RnPposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      But, I'm afraid, you've missed the most important point that not all men possess the capacity to make a worthy hubby.

  24. profile image56
    Horizonsowideposted 7 years ago

    One should always marry a person who loves you. It can really make your life beautiful and meaningful being with a person who can understand you and love you as who you really are.

  25. kerlund74 profile image75
    kerlund74posted 7 years ago

    I should absolutely go for the one I love! I have lived in a marrige where I stopped loving after 10 years. Last 5 years he loved me but I didn't love him back. I will never be in that situation again.

  26. Lauren Amy Smith profile image57
    Lauren Amy Smithposted 7 years ago

    Marry the one who loves you, I think love would develop naturally.

  27. paki1 profile image60
    paki1posted 7 years ago

    my with who loves you and you love also because life is very long and difficult these days care each other if you love one then you will take care lots its mean both side love will take care lot lot lot

  28. dailytop10 profile image87
    dailytop10posted 7 years ago

    None of the love. Marriage should only be in the picture if a couple loves each other truly and equally. Keep in mind that it's a lifelong dedication. You should only marry once you are certain that your partner is someone worth keeping through thick and thin, and that he/she feels the same way towards you.

  29. cebutouristspot profile image73
    cebutouristspotposted 7 years ago

    how can you measure love ?  I will marry the person I can lived and be happy with.

  30. Nigham AFZAL profile image61
    Nigham AFZALposted 7 years ago

    Marry the one who loves you...he/she at least knows the importance of you...But one will definitely prefer the one he loves...

  31. Kathleen Odenthal profile image90
    Kathleen Odenthalposted 7 years ago

    You should be able to have both. I dont think it would work one way or the other.

  32. shanice whitter profile image76
    shanice whitterposted 7 years ago

    Go with the one that loves you and learn to love that person because at the end of the day if the person you love cannot provide you with care and that same love.It doesn't make sense to waste your time.

  33. prosetrainee profile image60
    prosetraineeposted 7 years ago

    Marry YOUR dreamlover unconditionally?

    I believe a couple should marry, if they love each other mutually. And share many qualities. What is love? Is it defined by instinct or impulse?

  34. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 7 years ago

    Strange question.  I'd be interested in what you believe you will discover via the comments you receive.
    Since marriage is most definitely a 2-way street, it's sensible to expect LOVE to be as equal as possible.
    Hopefully there are not a whole lot of people marrying someone they only love "a little bit"...nor marrying someone they are fairly sure is not completely in love with them.
    As for "head over heels,"...I'm afraid I'm a bit beyond those drastic and dramatic emotions.  I can certainly describe my first "young love" in those terms, but then.....we were BOTH head over heels, so that's a good thing.
    NOW, at this age and stage of my life, I cannot imagine marrying again for any reason in the world.  I've been widowed for 16 months.....just beginning to adjust to living solo once again, doing fine and have no intention to try to "fix" anything that isn't broken....LOL.....
    If by any are asking this for yourself....because there is someone you love deeply.....and another someone who adores you..and you're trying to decide which one to marry, here's some sage advice from my maternal heart.  You'll get over #1 if he does not love you as much....and #2 will get over you, as soon as some woman loves him more than you do......If I were you, I'd find a third choice!   (smile)

    1. Faith Reaper profile image84
      Faith Reaperposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Great advice, Paul!  I agree 100%.

  35. Asheida profile image59
    Asheidaposted 7 years ago

    I moved my head around for a little...that's quite a question. I would prefer stay single. When I think of marriage; I think of love and happiness in all their capacities. I want to share love and receive it, it should be mutual particularly for marriage.

  36. profile image51
    tirtabuanaposted 7 years ago

    I would rather to The women loves me and then i love her too . There must a balance mutual give and take from the two different side .

  37. donwilsoon profile image61
    donwilsoonposted 7 years ago

    If you marry someone you don't love you will be unhappy for the rest of your life. Think about that- you don't want to be like crying every day. don't you?

  38. Atul Dahiya profile image80
    Atul Dahiyaposted 7 years ago

    In my opinion, love is not constant and marriage should not only be based on love but there are other aspects to it too. Even if all the other aspects are in favour, it should be based on both the partners loving each other, rather than one of them loving the other. However, over the years, it is the mutual trust and respect for each other, that keeps a marriage going and not love. Love has different meanings for different people and is not constant.

  39. profile image0
    jonaiveposted 7 years ago

    I'd marry someone who loves me, rather than someone I love but doesn't love me back. For me it's the option which minimizes pain, for my part at least. People just really want to be happy and sometimes we can't help being selfish. Even if I'm not sure whether time will make me love that person or not, at least I can be sure that the person I'm with is loving me. And, in some ways, they will be happy too because they're with the one they love.

  40. Karen Ranoni profile image40
    Karen Ranoniposted 7 years ago

    Marry the one who is stable, loving and loves you the most.

  41. lostohanababy profile image57
    lostohanababyposted 7 years ago

    Definitely , I would marry the one 'I love', that would be by choice.  Marrying someone who loves me but I may not feel the same about them.  Would start off my life with them very precarious and I would probably have some major problems fro time to time in that marriage.  Use good judgement on who and why you are marrying someone!

  42. wingedcentaur profile image79
    wingedcentaurposted 7 years ago

    Is there no Door #3? I suppose that by asking this question, you are presupposing that there is not? Is not waiting for a Door #3 to appear an option? If this is not an option, why is it not an option? Does the urgency have to do with your 'biological clock' (window of time within which you can safely bear children)?

    If this is the case, isn't the real issue: 'When can I bear a child or children of my own? If that is the issue, you are not really---in 'this day and age'---really dependent upon choosing between Door #1 and Door#2 for a 'mate' or 'life partner' or 'spouse' or 'significant other' or 'husband,' are you?

    But suppose that child-bearing is not an issue for you. I return to my original question: Why can't you simply wait for Door #3 to materialize?

    Take it easy!

  43. Sweetpea Flur profile image59
    Sweetpea Flurposted 7 years ago

    Love is a complex emotion and to make it simple is our mission in life. Honestly your choice is all that matters and if you're happy with it then live with it. I mean if your decision of marrying the person you love or the other way around makes you happy then why complicate things. Regardless of who you choose to marry, still the very thing that boils down is the HAPPINESS you will feel every moments you spend with each other. The memories worth remembering and to cherished for. It's the result of your decision that really counts.

  44. Ben716 profile image86
    Ben716posted 7 years ago

    Marry the person you love and who in turn loves you. If you love and another person and she doesn't love you, your relationship won't be interesting and adventerous. The same case with a person who loves you but you do not love him. It is a two-way, love you love me.

  45. hunter sakura profile image60
    hunter sakuraposted 7 years ago

    I think you should always marry for the right reasons.You should marry someone you  love because  unrequited love is awful.Marrying someone because they love you more than you do is a selfish reason.Love should always be reciprocal.

  46. profile image33
    Malky Leboposted 7 years ago

    An ideal soul mate will love you But you should love him/her as well.
    One person always loves the other more in a relationship.
    But if both do not love each-other and the feelings are not mutual the relationship is set up for disaster.

  47. profile image52
    VBrimleyposted 7 years ago

    Surely, marry the one that loves you. Its a delicate decision to make, yet on one hand rationally easy. You can learn to love and appreciate someone that loves and adores you.  Here's the thing there are different kinds of love therefore when making a decision to marry the one that loves opposed to marrying the one that you love, know that its likely that a sacrifice of love's passion in the relationship will occur.

  48. profile image48
    lexi Brantonposted 6 years ago

    You should marry the one you love because you need to be happy. If you love someone lean towards them because you c an marry someone that loves you, but are you really happy? Most likely not. That's what I believe follow your heart.

  49. Shrikant6989 profile image82
    Shrikant6989posted 6 years ago

    I think this question itself is ambiguous.Let me answer why I think its ambiguous.
    Lets consider  the person who loves you:
    Now in this case you have a choice whether to marry this person or not because there is high probability that the person loving you is ready to marry you.So you decision to marry this person will solely be based on your compatibility in terms of likes dislikes and whether you think your marriage can last the test of time.

    Now the second case:
    The person whom you love may not be loving you and may not be interested in marrying you.If you are good enough to convince the person then my friend I woud suggest you to marry him/her.

    This is my honest and straight forward suggestion.No diplomatic answer to please the audiance.I hope this helped smile

  50. profile image0
    MrDanielAbramposted 6 years ago

    I would marry the one I love because I love them and want to be with them.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)