Why Would Someone Keep You Close and Ignore You?

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   Misbah786posted 2 years ago

   Something I've never understood in my life is why some people end relationships without telling any reason. Do people truly forget about their friends, love, relationships, and so on? What makes it so simple for anyone to cut themselves apart from someone so abruptly and unexpectedly?
   
   Is it a good idea to pursue after someone who intentionally ignores you, for example, a really close friend/love? Why would someone keep you close and ignore you? Do they want you to leave them alone but don’t want to say so? What would you do in such a situation?
   
   Note :~ The question has nothing to do with me, but I just want to understand what we see all across the world on a daily basis. I've never understood the reason behind such acts.
   
   Thank you so much! 

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      Jodahposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, Misbah this seems to happen a lot. Especially with technology as it is now..everyone has smart phones and communicates through text messages. I have heard of so many break ups just sent via text, not even in person, or friends blocking one another on social media without an explanation. If it was me I would just need to know the reason so I could move on without constantly wondering “why?”
      Perhaps some end a relationship because they have done something they are embarrassed about or ashamed of but don’t want to admit or take responsibility for it.

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         Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you so much for your very kind and thoughtful response, John.
         
         Perhaps some end a relationship because they have done something they are embarrassed about or ashamed of but don’t want to admit or take responsibility for it.
         
         Personally, I believe that if they simply end a relationship because they have made a mistake that they are embarrassed or ashamed of but refuse to accept responsibility, such people take their relationship for granted and have a great lack of understanding/awareness and patience in their relationship.
         
         You are absolutely right about technology; it does play a significant role at times. I, too, have witnessed numerous similar cases.
         
         This statement of yours touched my heart, and I believe I would feel the same way:
         
         'If it was me I would just need to know the reason so I could move on without constantly wondering “why?”
         
         "Why?" is a very heavy word
         
         Sending Blessings to you!!

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            Jodahposted 2 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks my friend. Glad you liked my response. Blessings back at you.

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               Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

               

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Misbah
      It's hard to say without knowing the details, but it sounds like a narcissist personality.
      
      They say they love you one minute and then discard you when something better comes along.
      But they'll be back..they always return to those they love...just to hurt them again.
      
      It's like being with a child who can't make up his mind.
      
      It's not a reflection on the one who gets left behind brokenhearted...it's their own way of life.
      
      Like they don't know how to care for another person & when they get too close...they panic.
      
      Cell phones don't help. There's always other people with temptation just around the corner.
      
      It's important to not let it bother you.  Take care of oneself & do what's best for you.
      
      Give only what you get...don't go overboard.

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         Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

         What a brilliant response, Bredz.
         You made some very great points about narcissists.
         
         They say they love you one minute and then discard you when something better comes along.
         But they'll be back..they always return to those they love...just to hurt them again.
         
         
         I personally feel bad for such people. May God give them Peace of mind so that they can live with others in peace and harmony.
         
         Take care and keep smiling!!
         
         Blessings and Love to you!!

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      ChitrangadaSharanposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Hello Misbah!
      Thank you for drawing attention to these very important relationship issues in the modern World. Valuable inputs from the fellow authors in this thread.
      I agree, that we see troubled relationships much more, than in earlier times.
      We can blame it on technology partly, but I do believe that the general attitude of people has changed over the years.
      There is more impatience, more jealousy, more (false) ego, more competition, and less forgiveness, less adjustment, less forbearance, less tolerance etc. etc.
      One thing is sure, you can have control on your own behavior, and not on other's behavior. So, it's better to focus on that.
      If someone is behaving strangely, we should not waste our time on them, after few attempts to make the matters amicable.
      On a positive note, there are still more good and caring people around, and the number of negative people is much, much less.
      I am sorry to know that your father is unwell. My prayers for his speedy recovery.
      Take care. Best wishes to you and your family.

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         Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Chitra Di, what a beautiful and wise response.
         
         One thing is sure, you can have control on your own behavior, and not on other's behavior. So, it's better to focus on that.
         If someone is behaving strangely, we should not waste our time on them, after few attempts to make the matters amicable.
         On a positive note, there are still more good and caring people around, and the number of negative people is much, much less.
         
         Your words are full of wisdom and very true. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me.
         
         Dad is back home now. Thank you so much for your kind prayers. God bless you and your family. Ameen!!
         
         Blessings and Love as always

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   Gianella Labradorposted 2 years ago

   Hi Misbah! Hope you are doing well.
   
   Personally, I think a person wouldn't leave someone that easy. It's not like we decided to buy something and throw it away just because we felt like doing so or we instantly had a change of heart. There must be something that has happened, it could be a turning point for either one of the party , or a driving force that made one completely ignores and leave someone.
   
   But believe me, one that truly loves, can not truly ignore someone whom they truly loved for a couple period of time. It's never easy to let go and set someone free in the pursuit of someone's happiness.
   
   Before someone leaves, it must have already been well thought of. There must have been some signs he/she, they(lgbtqi+) have shown their partners before they drift apart. You could even notice some  changes in their behavior if they are slowly starting to distance themselves from you.
   
   Maybe, leaving someone without notice isn't a solution to the problem and a person might just be trying to get away from it. But sometimes, it could be just the closure they both needed.
   
   One has to leave, otherwise they'd keep hurting each other further. Especially if relationships are getting worse and toxic each day.
   
   If a person started feeling alone in this relationship when it's supposed to be 'it takes two to tango' kind of thing and when it seems the boat is starting to sink and he/she is the one who's not gonna survive, you'll just be surprised how much pain he/she have battled deep within and how much time it took him/her to finally decide what's best for the relationship and the value of his/her worth.
   
   It doesn't usually happen in just a snap  that one day you were both so in love with one another, with all the cuddles and giggles, then the morning after the love is gone and the other has gone completely different like a total stranger you've never met before.
   
   If that's the case, girl, you might have met someone who is runaway from a facility that takes care of mentally challenged and psychiatric patients. Call some help immediately! Lol.
   
   Kidding aside, I leave you a  quote:
   
   "Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize you lost the moon while counting the stars."
   
   What does this mean?
   
   Sometimes in life, we tend to get busy
   with so many other things thinking they are so important and benefitial to all of us. What makes us sustain the material things we need, is what keeps us busy and work hard to earn more. The things we maybe prioritizing now, may actually have no value later on once we reached the end of this journey of life.
   
   Think about the people and the things we are unconsciously neglecting, one that truly matters if we come to think of it. It's our family, loved ones, and special someone. Time will always never be enough. But it is up to us how we'll make use the best out of it. It is now that we must come to realize that we are all running out of time. Anyone in your circle could be leaving soon and would be saying goodbye on its way to our Creator's kingdom. That we never know, but we still got time to make them happy and feel loved.
   
   Life has been taking a toll to almost everyone around the world with the crisis and mental struggles along with other health complications other individuals may be having.
   
   If we are to choose what kind of person we must be to others each day we live in this time of day, learn to be loving, and more compassionate. If we can talk so casual without having to raise our voice to one another, without having to cause an argument or fight, without having to be so harsh with our choice of words, and without getting to be that kind of person we totally hate. One who is psychologically abusive, verbally abusive, physically abusive, and a total complete jerk toxic person.
   
   Let's give each other a favor in making each other's day happy and less toxic/problematic. Brighten up someone's day and you'll also find yourself looking forward for better days with a smile on your face.
   
   It's a long way, but if we could help each other, we could try and make this world a little less stressful than it already is.
   
   
   Sorry for the long response, Misbah.
   Got so into it again.
   
   Blessings to you and Sending so much Love!
   
   Regards.

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   Gianella Labradorposted 2 years ago

   It's kind of similar to people who take their own lives too. From an external point of view, you might think he/she has gone insane for taking his or her own life and that its a sign of being a coward to face the real problems and their fears. You might be thinking what could be the reason of a sudden death and turn of events. He/she died without a reason or signs or notice that it would soon happen is usually a statement one would make who failed to notice and realize the reasons beforehand when the signs were pretty much obvious. We just often turn them into blind eye thinking they don't have the capacity to do such thing and they aren't hell serious about it. But to tell you honestly, they can and they will if no one will stop them.
   
   There must be some warning signs and changes in their behavior, that they are already planning to do the act.
   For example, giving away one of their most valuable item, one they'd always treasure and would not let anyone touch or borrow but for some reason they are ready to give it away.
   
   Farewell cryptic messages. They'll tell you things you must be doing in life to be successful. Reminders and Life lessons you must hear before they decide to leave. Like, " I hope you pursue your dreams and be successful, make us proud, always be happy." It's like the person is already saying she/he will no longer be there to witness it once you've achieved all that.
   
   When he/she suddenly starts teaching you to do things on your own when they usually do it for you on their own accord and pleasure. Like, what would you do if they are no longer by your side? Can you handle the sudden lost of their presence? People who are suicidal would make ways to prepare the other person for the huge storm that's about to come. But it is only when the storm comes, they'll come to realize everything. The premonitions, the what ifs and what nots, what have gone wrong, the mishaps, regrets, pain, signs and warnings, which would all broil down to a one powerful mental breakdown.
   
   Often, it's already too late when we realize the value and importance of the people we truly love. We often disregard how valuable their presence and worth are when they are around, and miss them ever so dearly when they're gone for a while or in this case, they're gone for good. There's no more second chances to reconcile and make amendments to the damage that has been done for it's already too late.
   
   Again going back to the quote:
   
   "One day you might wake up from your sleep and realize you lost the moon while counting the stars."
   
   We tend to always fight over mistakes, count the faults and flaws, notice what's always wrong, get mad over a bad day, but how often do we appreciate the little things? Recognize our achievements? Give thanks for all the blessings? No matter how small or trivial our progress and achievements are they should still matter and be given more of importance and attention. Remember how often you'd be frustrated over trivial matters, and how fast are you to notice mistakes and flaws of others. Why not be the same for the great things happening in their lives? Congratulate them and acknowledge even small progress cause it's still progress.
   
   Pay attention to how often you laugh and be able to sustain a good and positive mood for at least a day more than how fast you get mad and frustrated to little things. Improve that and promise you, it'll change your life.
   
   I've been suicidal for a couple of months last year. I know how it is to be in darkness and to bottle up things inside, not knowing how to tell everyone how I've been doing. It was a tough and long journey. But acceptance and self forgiveness was the key that paved the way to set me free.
   
   After being hospitalized, I come to realize how much I have wasted so much of my life into darkness and sadness along with so much anger and hatred in my heart.  But everyone is growing old. Everyone is  a patient of each kind. Everyone needs love, care, and assistance. Everyone has grown tired, exhausted, and stressed out in the past 2 years of this crisis.
   
   It's best to forgive and never let anger  and hatred ever devour and take over you again. If it's possible to never let anger and hatred into your heart and mind as there must be completely no longer space for it, the better. We all should try to live only entertaining prosperity and happiness. If its something that would stress us out and be problematic, forget and stay away from it. Don't be too hard on yourself as it is also you who will suffer in the long run. If it's not favorable for you, compromise and end the argument as fast as possible.
   
   Don't ever let stress and problems be the reason to end your own life. There are tons of things in the world to explore, to enjoy, and to look forward to. List a few that you wanna do for the next few days, weeks, or months. So you've got reasons to wake up each day and live your life properly until the day comes to tick a completed bucket list.
   
   Blessings are always on the way, make sure not to block it and receive it with open arms. But before that, keep in mind to disinfect and wear your mask on for safety.

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   Pamela99posted 2 years ago

   I think John may be right about technology being a factor. I think it is very hard to understand what motivates some people. Maybe they have been very hurt by someone in their lives. I don't really have an answer.
   Love and blessings Misbah.

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      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for your very kind response, Pamela. I also loved John's answer.
      
      Take care and stay blessed. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
      
      Blessings and Love as always!!

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   Misbah786posted 2 years ago

   I am sorry. I will get back to this discussion later. At the moment I am not able to respond to this forum discussion. My father is in the hospital because he is suffering from some serious health issues. Please keep him in your kind prayers and thoughts.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Misbah
      Please be with your Father.
      
      I'm sending you prayers and Hugs.
      
      Bredz

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         Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Sending Hugs and Blessings to you as well.
         
         Lots of Love

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   Jodahposted 2 years ago

   Oh, Misbah sorry to hear that. Praying he will recover soon. Take your time. Your father is more important than this discussion.

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      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      You are very caring and kind friend, John. Thank you so much!!
      
      May God continue to bless you and your loved ones abundantly. Ameen!!

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   Gianella Labradorposted 2 years ago

   Will be praying for your father Misbah, Insha' Allah. God works in miraculous ways. Just hold on tight to his promises. Everyone here is one with you in praying for all the best for your father's health condition.
   
   Keep Safe Misbah. Covid is still around the corner and its quick to transmit.

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   Pamela99posted 2 years ago

   I am very to her that Misbah. I will be praying for his full recovery.

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   Peggy Wposted 2 years ago

   Will pray that your father will recover from whatever has him currently in the hospital, Misbah.  Also, in reading the comments, Gianella has added much to this conversation.  So glad that you are in a better place, Gianella.  May that long continue!  Sending prayers and blessings to you and Misbah.

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      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much, Peggy. May God continue to bless you in abundance

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    Misbah786posted 2 years ago

    Thank you so much for your kind prayers John, Peggy, Pamela and Gianella. His condition is stable now but is still in hospital. I am grateful to all of you for your kindness and support. Much Gratitude!
    God bless you all. Ameen!
    
    Gianella, your comments on this post are very interesting and thoughtful. I appreciate your positive attitude towards life. May God bless you abundantly. Ameen!

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       AliciaCposted 2 years agoin reply to this

       I hope your father's condition continues to improve and that he is soon released from hospital, Misbah. Best wishes to you and your family.

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          Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

          Thank you so much for your kindness and support, Linda. He is doing much better now and is back home now. God bless you and your loved ones. Ameen!!

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    Vladimir Karasposted 2 years ago

    Misbah dear -- Statistically, one in every five Americans has some personality issues, and I don't know if it's any different elsewhere in the world. They all nicely fit under that universal umbrella of "NO ONE IS PERFECT".
    Thus, unstable people make unstable relationships, as simple as that. It's useless to ask why, unless we are in business of psychotherapy. A phrase like "developing cold feet" comes to mind -- "now I like you, now I don't", but people can go quite creative in making it diverse putting their own emotional signature on it.

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

       The thought...narcissist comes to my mind.
       
       I think they get so close to having what they want that they tend to become frightened...afraid of change.
       But like you say...No One Is Perfect.
       
       
       

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          Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

          Bredz, this one is really harsh. I guess on our own souls as well but sometimes very important as well
          
          Blessings and Love!!

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             Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

             Sometimes...we need to do this & be a bit harsh.
             
             It may seem cruel with no compassion & it's just not who we want to be, but the other one is taking you for granted.
             
             He thinks you will always be there no matter what he does...this helps in the long run for them to realize what a gem they had.
             
             It's not easy to do when you are a kind and caring person, but there are a few people in life that you have to treat this way.
             
             God knows your heart and will help you when it hurts your soul.

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                Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

                This is really tough but I think you are 100% right.
                
                God bless you always!!

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                   Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

                   I'm sending Angels your way...I pray your father will be okay now that you have him back home.

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                      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

                      Thank you so much, Bredz. He is doing much better and is back home now. God bless you and your loved ones. Ameen!!
                      
                      Sending you Blessings, love, Kisses and Hugs!!

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                         Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

                         Great news Misbah

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       Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

       Loved your response, Mr. Val.
       
       "now I like you, now I don't", but people can go quite creative in making it diverse putting their own emotional signature on it.
       
       This is a cruel game in relationships but yes no one is perfect.
       
       Blessings to you!!

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    Misbah786posted 2 years ago

    When I saw him having a fainting episode, I was so scared. And it was as if my entire world had turned upside down. Now I am feeling relaxed. He is back home by the Grace of God. Thank you so much for all your support and kind prayers. I am so lucky to have friends like you. Thank you so much Bredz, Linda, John, Pamela, Gianella, Peggy, Chitra Di, and Mr.Val.
    
    God bless and protect you and your loved ones. Ameen!!
    
    Much Love and Blessings!!

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

       I'm so glad your Father is back home.
       Make him take it easy for awhile & you give him a big hug from me.
       
       Still sending you & your family prayers.
       Love
       Bredz

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    Gianella Labradorposted 2 years ago

    That's great news Misbah! God is still good! Prayers are stronger when you have people to help pray. You aren't and will never be alone in no matter what battle life brings you and your family. We are one with you to pray and help you.
    
    Always believe blessings are on its way.
    
    Sending Love and virtual hugs Misbah!

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       Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

       You are a very kind and beautiful soul, Gianella. God bless you with good health and success. Ameen!!
       
       Stay well and happy!!
       
       Blessings and hugs to you too.

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    Gianella Labradorposted 2 years ago

    I too have recently been hospitalized for almost 3 weeks due to Covid and other health issues that needs to be checked. I know how difficult and worrisome it can get. Especially at the Covid ward were patients can't be with a family member. But I was so blessed that patients who were soon to be discharged assisted and took care of me like their own child. Even the nurses were so kind and friendly. When I got a little stronger after a few days, I started helping out older patients as well with little ways I can. Since nurses and doctors are short staffed and they don't come as often to see if there's any emergency or urgent action needed, I helped the mothers in the ward since most of them are patients who are not allowed to stand up as they are most likely prone to accidents. I take small favors like reclining or declining their beds, help them open water bottles, help them with their food, etc. I sometimes also take the initiative to help the nurses remember the names of the patients, and whats their case. Its a return of favor to their service as frontliners. It's little but it helps.
    
    
    In these tough times, prayers are the only thing that kept me going. Many have prayed for me, now I'm blessed and thankful, prayers too are the only thing I could offer for everyone that may need it just like I did.
    
    I'm still on recovery period, and there's no answer and name yet for what my condition really is. It seems I have to explore another set of medical departments. I have learned a lot of medical terms and tests all throughout almost 4 months on this journey finding out what's the problem and what's going on in my body. There's more to figure out, there's more to find out. It's exhausting but I know I will soon get close to the truth.
    
    In God's Grace. In God's will be done.
    
    I continue to pray at the same time trying to be a blessing to others and make them happy. If people gets happy because of my efforts and hubs, I'm more than happy too. Even if Life is tough and I'm on a rough and winding road.
    
    There's still tons of things to be thankful and happy for.

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       Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

       I love your positive attitude towards life, Gianella. May God bless you and your family abundantly.
       
       Much Love!!

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          surovi99posted 2 years agoin reply to this

          Misbah, I totally missed this discussion. I was very sorry to hear that your father was ill but I am glad to know he is back from the hospital and doing well. May your parents long live. My best wishes and blessings for you and your family. Ameen.

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             Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

             Thank you so much for your kindness, Rosina. He is doing very well now. Alhamdulillah!!!
             May God bless you and your family. Ameen!!
             
             Much Love!!

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