Can Long Distance Relationships survive, realistically?

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   Naeh816posted 13 years ago

   Time apart does not bring you closer together; despite what fairytales, movies and books tell you but being clingy doesn't help either. Distance cannot fill the void of actually having that person there with you but it can make the heart grow fonder. There's an upside and downside to long distance dating: it tests how committed you are but it can also test your emotional and mental capacity. I think if a relationship IS long distance, seeing each other as often as 4 times a month (if that) is deemed necessary and texting each other good morning/night will build up that anticipation to see each other.

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      LarasMamaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You should write a hub about it

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      Kerkedijkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I skype with my husband of 29 years every night and it helps. We have done everything to be together but sadly his work involves lots of travel and my travelling with him is not possible. This is all quite new to our situation, my heart has broken a few times in the struggle but I trust him and love him so much, we have to make it work for now until he finds another job and a better solution. I believe anything is possible if you try hard enough but it is not easy. Nothing easy in life is worth having though. Wishing you lots of strength and hope. Kerkedijk

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         skylar.wishwash33posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Try going to sleep with both of you having your skype on.  It's not the same as being in the same bed as them, but it feels like the closest thing.  I know it sounds corny but it really helps to feel a closeness during a time you feel really alone.

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      pinkboxerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I survived this and eventually married my military husband. It takes an incredible amount of effort. Your love will certainly be tested.

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      lady_love158posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I had a long distance relationship once, but it didn't last... after all, a girl has needs you know! heehee

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         Bimbieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         i'm in a long distance relationship with my high school first n ever love, we haven't seen each other for years but we keep in touch........i don't want to ever leave him even though i feel lonely some times, i'm 21yrs,i sometimes want to be held,touched kissed n all, but the truth is,he loves me for who i am and not what he see or wants. i really want it to work between us.

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      Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I wrote a hub about my/our long distance relationship.
      
      Yes they can survive,but like most relationships ,you get what you put into it

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   Urbane Chaosposted 13 years ago

   Long distance dating is about as difficult as bench pressing a hippo.  There are those that can do it, I just don't see how.

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   AdeleCosgroveBrayposted 13 years ago

   It depends on the personalities of those involved.  For example, some people have jobs which entail being away from home - such as those in the armed forces, journalists, film crew, oil rig workers, fishermen etc.  If one partner can't cope and/or doesn't have an independent life of their own then perhaps this might be an issue. 
   
   You might, however, fairly argue that this should have been considered before getting involved as a couple.
   
   If you're talking about holiday romances surviving the distance of many miles, then forget it and move on.

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   Originposted 13 years ago

   It depends on the people involved. Some people can handle it, and some cannot.
   
   It does help that we have modern day conveniences that make the long distance relationship smoother, such as free internet calling, free video calling, emails, forums, etc. Sure it doesn't take the place of actually being in the same room with the person, but at least it helps.

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   Shil1978posted 13 years ago

   Realistically, the chances of a long distance relationship surviving is quite slim. Ultimately, though, it depends on the people involved - how much they trust each other, how much the relationship means to them, what they want from the relationship, what their goals are, etc.
   
   Its not beyond the realm of possibility though. As I said, both the individuals concerned need to have the same goals and expectations and resolve to stay in the relationship.

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   Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

   I find that anything more then 7 inches is problematic for me

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      Nemps7posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      ... 4 inches for me : ( hahaha

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   Kerkedijkposted 13 years ago

   I just wrote a few hubs about my distance relationship with my husband of 29 years. We have always been together but recently, his work has posted him abroad and I have tried to move with him to make a home in Germany but that too sadly did not work. He was simply absent for most of the time. His work requires him to trave and this is all very new to our lives. Right now, we will just visiting one another when he is around. I gave up my job so that we can be together when possible. It is not an easy life, I have struggled a few times but I realise that I need to stay in the homeplace and we will both commute between Ireland and Germany. He will try to change his job but in the current economic climate of recession, it is not easy. We love one another so much but have to live apart together and we have to make it work and it will......

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      be strong together.  my exhusband travelled a lot, was away a lot; it was hard but we became stronger together as a result.  it wasn't the reason for our breakup tho - it was much more complicated.  and now he's lost but still travelling and can't seem to stay still for long.
      
      I'll check out your story.
      
      Peace!

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   Zenith of Emotionposted 13 years ago

   I can say that from personal experience they CAN last. I had a relationship with someone who lives in New Zealand (while I live in Western NY) for about two-and-a-half years. Perhaps that isn't much, but we survived that long, and even after breaking up, we still act a lot like a couple. I think one thing people have to consider is what is the most mature and intelligent choice. I can say that my relationship became to stifling in that it didn't allow the exploration of life and the growth I needed, and it wasn't benefiting him in those ways either. I did manage to give him more confidence in himself, but in the end, we're both the same kids (even though we're technically adults) we've always been, and that needs to change. But just because you aren't together doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship failed. If you get anything positive out of the break-up, or the freeness it gives you, then I'd say that for all intents and purposes, that stepping stone in your life has succeeded in performing its duty.
   
   Personally speaking, I'd rather continue a friendship with a love long-distance and be able to grow and still appreciate them, than force myself into something I can't fully commit to due to needing physical affection or something your partner can't provide. I think emotions can develop quite firmly no matter how far away you are, but if you're able to be friends and then come back to romance once you're both in the same general area, then I think that's probably the best route of action.
   
   Still, I wouldn't tell anyone to not take a chance just because it might fail. The bigger the chance you take, the larger the success could be. Holding back from a long-distance relationship just because you aren't sure it'll work due to the distance is simply silly in my eyes. We don't even know if our face-to-face relationships will work out, why worry so much about one with someone you can't physically touch?
   
   I also think long distance relationships promote the need for communication, which is something a lot of relationships are lacking at this point in time, and communication is a key point in any relationship - even if it's a relationship between yourself and someone you greatly dislike. Every gesture, step, word, sound, etc you make gives off a certain feeling, and when you are able to express yourselves through words and develop your ability to communicate on the base level of conversation, I think that's a key skill to have for useage in anything later on in your life. And later on in your relationship, if not right now.
   
   The main thing is to not run away from problems, address them immediately, or pre-empt them by discussing what could go wrong and expressing your emotions on the topic. Again: communication.
   
   In any event, I wish anyone who decides to partake in a long distance relationship luck and would simply say to keep in mind that words can have just as strong an impact as a gesture or touch... you just have to know how to use them the right way.

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      Kerkedijkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thank you for this response, its great! I identify with so much of what you have said here - we skype every evening so our contact is as good as f2f can be. The only way we can change the situation is for hubby to change his job and I just hope thats possible in the future. Many thanks

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   alexandriaruthkposted 13 years ago

   yes but you should also have a plan for when you will stay together
   
   tehcnology helps and make the most of it,
   
   chat online, skype etc and sending a message in chat just asking him how he and she is, provide support and endearing words
   communicate constantly and tell him/her about your feelings about it if you are lonely etc
   
   True love endures

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      Zenith of Emotionposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      In response to your last three words, all I have to say is "Indeed"

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    divacratusposted 13 years ago

    Like everyone else already mentioned, it all depends on the people involved. I personally believe in long distance relationships because I am involved in one now myself -- and I am pretty happy! There are so many ways of keeping in contact nowadays - Skype, GTalk etc. The one thing (important one at that) amiss would be his/her physical presence... but you can always plan when and where to meet next. For me, distance always makes the heart go fonder!

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    ThoughtfulSpotposted 13 years ago

    Sorry I don't have time to read back, but I just wanted to say that I know they can work because my husband and I had one.  We were in a long distance relationship for 4 years.  This fall (knock wood ) will mark our ten year marriage anniversary.
    

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    alternate poetposted 13 years ago

    yes long distance relationships are the BEST !    I have been divorced nearly 10 years now and stay approximately 3000 to 4000 miles away from her at all times.

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    optimus grimlockposted 13 years ago

    it depeds on how far apart you are. how strong are the people involved. if you dated before it became long distance. Most of the time it starts off ok then dies. Me and my fiance dated for 8months and she lived an hr away(not far). Now she lives with me(ya I got skills lol).

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    samson22posted 13 years ago

    Hi. I think you'd find my hub on LDRs useful. Please take a look. I might possibly be in one soon. http://hubpages.com/hub/Long-Distance-R … ow-to-Deal

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    kompassposted 13 years ago

    Though many people believed that distance makes the heart grow fonder but i personally did not subscribe to that because out of sight at times could be out of mind  and if you are planing to have LDR think twice before you do.

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    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    it depends on the lovers and how much work they put into it.  the key here is communication.  as long as the two always manage to work to try to talk to each other whenever they can, then it'll work.  however, if not, then it's easy to lose track of them.  trust me, i know. 

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    ediggityposted 13 years ago

    Yes it can last, love knows no distance.

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    Triple Fposted 13 years ago

    I am in my first relationship and it is long-distance. It's only been two months and a bit so far, and we have only managed to meet up three times in that space, but we are working quite well I think - we text good morning and goodnight and a lot during the day, and talk on Skype whenever he doesn't have work and I don't have extracurricular stuff (so between two and four times a week usually), and when we meet up we go out together and just enjoy being together. It works well, though I would like to see him more

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    Otto23posted 13 years ago

    Lots of factors going into the possibility of maintaining a long distance relationship. It's a combination of eachother's willpower, inner strength, love for eachother, empathy, and communication. Oh, and let's not forget patience
    
    I've had my fair share of LDRs and I won't say that it's been easy, however it has made me stronger and given me a much stronger willpower for the person I trully love.
    
    I promise you they work.
    
    Remember... "Love is patient, love is kind, etc..."
    
    Lastly, if someone is willing to be patient with you, then they're worth your time

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    maecy15posted 13 years ago

    both should really insert effort to make the relationship work.

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    Rare Jewelposted 13 years ago

    I think anything can survive if you are willing to put the effort into it. I have tried long distance relationships before, but will not ever do it again. Been there and done that, and that is just not for me. But, I say go for it to those who can make it work, it takes commitment and patience.

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    jokeapptvposted 13 years ago

    i  think its great your trying. its not easy but its worth it .

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    thick03posted 13 years ago

    Yes I personally believe long distance relationships can work depend on the person. I have been in a long distance relationship and we ended up getting married 2 each other this year. It depends how much the man/woman love, trust, respect, commitment, patience and comminucation with each other. We comminucated with each other 2 times a day everyday, we sent each other sms messages all day and nite till one of us fell asleep, & we chatted online with each other. Now we are married and I would not trade that for nothing in the world because I truly love him he is my other half...he completes me. So every one is differently when it comes 2 a long distance relationship but it is basically it can work out.

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    mikelongposted 13 years ago

    Over the summer my girlfriend was in Europe and Africa, she came back for a couple weeks, and since mid-September she has been in Washington D.C....
    
    We miss each other, but modern technology plus a great trusting bond keeps us going....
    
    Only a couple more weeks to go...

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    ItsThatSimpleposted 13 years ago

    Long distance relationships can definitely survive. As long as you have communication, relationships can stay stable. It does depend on the needs of individuals to an extent. Some people may just not be happy in a long-term relationship because of the distance and for them it may simply not work. It really comes down to individual choice.

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    mygrantsposted 13 years ago

    Yes only if you want it to survive - if you can get out of yourself a bit and pro-actively become empathatic - everything can not only survive - but grow and thrive !!

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    lrohnerposted 13 years ago

    If you're young and in love, LDR can be the kiss of death. If you're older and married, they can be a lifesaver.

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       HattieMattieMaeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I think for my experience we just see it as practice for marriage. It is emotionally, spiritually, mentally hard some times, and of course you want to be together physically, but that is how I think you know whether it is true love, you don't walk away because it is hard, but endure the test of time. I believe once we are together physically it will only enhance our relationship because we have already gone through something very challenging that most people don't even survive when it is long distance. If you really want to be together, and love each other you work hard together to make it work, and have been doing for three years, and probably another year or so. It takes time to get everything in order financially, physically with your life belongings, whether you have children, and how old they are, there are many priorities that have to be put in order, so it's not something you just run off and do in hurry. You also want to be wise and make sure the relationships is a good one.

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    mayjdyposted 8 years ago

    Long-distance relationship work according to age and places. It is successful more among people above 30.

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