- HubPages»
- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
Compilation of Legal Text Jokes 2
Hope you like this hub...
A continuation of my first hub titled "Compilation of Legal Text Jokes".
Lawyer: You say that this woman shot her husband with his pistol at close range?
Accused: Yes sir, that’s right.
Lawyer: Any powder marks on his body?
Accused: Yes sir, that’s why I shot him.
Hehehe, Good reason, I hope you get this.
-----------
Son: dad, is it true that the law of gravity keeps us on the earth?
Father: Yes son. That is true.
Son: What did we do before the law was passed?
Hmm I don’t know either wakikik
-----------
Q. Those who don’t have me, don’t wish for me. Those have me do no wish to lose me. Those who win have me no longer. What am I?
A. L a w s u i t …
Hehehe
------------
Q. Did you notify the defendant you wanted him to return the car?
A. Yes I sent him a letter to return the car by registered mail.
You could’ve used e-mail nyahahaha
----------
Accused: But Judge I did it for you.
Judge: What! You did it for me?
Accused: Oh yes, Judge. The last time I was in trouble I promised you that I would never get arrested again – and I was just trying to keep my promise.
Hehehe…
-----------
Q. What is the highest room in a university?
A. The library because it has the most stories
Hehehe
-----------
Judge: You have been appearing before me in this Court for seven years.
Accused: Excuse me You Honor, but is it my fault if you are not getting promoted?
Hehehe
-----------
Q. Do buses run on time?
A. No they run on wheels.
Hehehe
-----------
Q. So after anesthesia, when you came out of it what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
A. I didn’t see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q. Why, was it covered?
A. Yes, bandaged
Q. Then later on… what did you see?
A. I had skin draft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
Hehehe.
-----------
Witness: Ah-hah.
Lawyer: You have to say “yes” of “no’ so the court stenographer can get it down. Is that a yes when you said Ah-hah.
Witness: Ah-hah.
Hehehe..
-----------
Prosecutor: Where was the police officer in relation to you when you were struck by the car?
Witness: To my left sir.
Prosecutor: How far to your left?
Witness: I don’t really remember, I was getting run over at that time.
Hehehe.
-----------
Q. Why are the tallest lawyers the laziest?
A. Because they are longer in bed than others?
Hehehe
-----------
Father: What did you do at the Law school tonight, son?
Son: Guessing game.
Father: Ha? I thought you had wills and succession?
Son: That’s right.
Nahahaha the son is counting the chicks already in a nest of eggs.
-----------
Mrs. Stevenson: My daughter is at LawSchool. She’s very bright, you know. Everytime we get letter form her we have to go to the dictionary.
Mrs. Johnson: You’re very lucky. Every time we hear from our son, we have to go to bank…
Spoiled Brat wakikik J
-----------
Insured: My car just went under water.
Insurer: That’s OK, don’t worry about it.
Insured: Why not?
Insurer: Your car is completely covered..
Hehehe
My twenty second hub to the hubchallenge
My other thought-provoking and compelling hubs
- How
to Make Your Girlfriend Love You (Even More)
Men are prone to heartaches, and like women they cast doubts about the sincerity and love poured on them by their girlfriends. If you have a girlfriend dont be too sure that youll keep her for good,... - How
to Pass the Civil Service Examination in the
Philippines
The Civil Service Examination that is given in the Philippines is indeed a tough nut to crack; the passing rate over the years had dipped drastically, no thanks to the high 80% mark, one should hurdle. The... - The
Conservation of the World's Rarest Bird of Prey,
the Philippine Eagle
If the American Bald Eagle is the symbol of United States' free-wheeling and vibrant democracy, the Philippines has its own emblem for her national sovereignty and freedom as well. The mighty Philippine... - Ways to Save
Mother Earth
Our planet is indeed gasping for breath right now, our harmful pollutions is indeed choking her slowly and continues to stripped her with her ozone layer. I think it is about time to give our timely response... - The
Finest Places and Beaches in the Philippines
The Philippines is so blessed with nature's bounty, and some of these can even be likened to paradise hidden and spread throughout her majestic archipelago. Many believed that most great places are somewhat...
- Why
Some Foreigners Prefer Marrying Filipinas
the other lass in other countries if not beyond compare. Their smile will indeed lighten up your day as if they put you in clouds with a very light feeling, dismantling your worries for a great while, could... - The
Historic Inauguration of Benigno Noynoy Aquino as
the 15th Philippine President
The Philippines, a nation which is hungry for a real change now have another President inaugurated this June 30, 2010, with hopes high that poverty will be minimized if not totally eradicated and genuine... - The
Natural Wonders, Wealth and Sceneries of Amazing
Philippines
The Philippines is certainly a dot in the world but teems with enormous and seem infinite treasures. With her majestic rolling mountains, hills and volcanoes, rainforests that is embellished with wonderful... - The
Importance of Sports in Your Kid's Life
What is elementary life without sports? Probably boring and lifeless as it is. Sports is vital in the very young lives of your kids for it gives them a lot of things to learn about life aside from... - The
Philippine Wildlife :: Rare Animals in the
Philippines
(This is a tribute to the planet we call home since she will be celebrating her birthday in the days to come and this is actually first of two parts.) The Philippines is indeed a haven for wonderful animals...
- How
to Pass the Board Licensure Examination
(The original contents of this hub was accidentally deleted, hayz, I dont have an idea why it was deleted maybe I could be the culprit or someone deleted it when I forgot to sign out, still this is a blessing... - Aquariums
for Freshwater Fishes
Aquarium fishes whether tropical or saltwater are indeed a nice sight to see. Exhibiting unusual behaviors, flashing different colors, coming in a wide array of different shapes and sizes aquarium fishes are... - The
Causes and Effects of Climate Change in our Planet
Just a month ago, a powerful typhoon the worst ever perhaps in my province literally took us by the storm. Wow, the typhoon was so destructive and devastating that the tremendous damage it had made will... - How
to be a Sports Editor or a Sports Writer
(Editor's Note: This Hub contains a brief story and insights on how to be a sports editor or sports writer). Sports writing has its own distinct identity, very interesting and yet enjoying. It has dimensions... - How
to Make Real Friends and be a Great Friend
An enduring friendship is truly essential to the human spirit as food and water are to our body. Whether we are rich or poor, we all need friends, our companions that will pull us through thick and thin....
- Which
is Better Private School or Public School
School is an institution where our kids well learn a lot of things that could help them become more responsible and productive citizens in our society. It is the place where education is given importance as... - Fast
Index Your Blogs or Hubs
Your blogs or hubs may take a month or perhaps longer before it will be indexed in various search engines (Yahoo, Google, Bing etc.), and this may keep your write-up(s) at bay. Instead of waiting for the time... - Foods
that Should Not be Offered to Pets (Rabbits,
Hamsters or Birds)
I already produced a hub about foods that shouldnt be eaten by dogs, titled, The Foods Your Dogs Shall Not Eat, and this article endeavor to tackle more foods that are not good to your pets such as birds... - 10
World's Favorite Animals
Animals are indeed a treasure to human beings they usually give us ohs and ahs, when we see them perform awesome tricks in circus, give us thrills when we see them in zoo being fed by caretaker or simply by... - How to Save
our Planet Earth
In 1992 World Summit held in Rio de Janeiro, getting rid of pollution was the main agenda as well as making our planet healthy amid industrial progress. However the ratification and implementation of this...
- How
to Avoid Stress, Tension and Pressures
With the recent economic turmoil, stress seems to disrupt and affect the way of life of most people. People nowadays are worried about the security of their tenure in work, health, their children's needs and... - The
Awesome Nutritional Benefits of Asparagus
It is not just a delectable treat as asparagus proves to be one of the most nutritious vegetables one should regularly eat. It is in abundance of vitamins, minerals and nutrients that are beneficial to... - http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Perform-Well-at-Work
- How
to prevent and treat insect bites
Kids love to play outdoors but sometimes dangers lurks, or in plain words they are not safe since they are expose to various bugs that can be harmful. Insect bites when inflicted to your kids skin... - A List of Unusual
Pets
Most of us are seemed to be in awe with animals especially when we have some of them as our well-loved pets. Cuddly and affectionate, these wonderful creatures give us joy when we are with them and even...
- Compilation
of Filipino Jokes and Funny Text Messages
Filipinos are known for their sense of humor, an attribute that keeps them afloat and strong amid very difficult problems and tough challenges. Filipinos derives some of their strength and persistence by... - Lucban
Quezon Pahiyas Festival
The Philippines culture and heritage is indeed rich yet very diverse, this is apparent with Pahiyas Festival, which is held in Lucban, Quezon, Philippines every 15th day of May. Tens of thousands of... - Meet
the Philippine Wildlife World Record Holders
(Second of two parts) The diversity of the Philippines in terms of marine life and flora and fauna is truly spectacular as it is lavished with interesting features that will truly sets them apart from the... - Compilation
of Inspirational Quotations for Text
Messaging
... Ready for Anything (a one of a kind book that contains principles that is built to enhance the productivity of individual's life and work). The book is tailored to tackle and topple the rigors of work... - How
to be an Effective and Efficient Teacher
.... reward but for self-fulfillment and doing things that are ought to be done. Teaching is not just a profession, it should be utilized as a powerful way of touching the lives of the children, always...
- http://hubpages.com/hub/FIFA-Soccer-Funny-Images-or-Pictures
The 2010 FIFA Soccer World Cup will kick off this coming June in South Africa and everyone is seemed upbeat with it. I whipped out this article that is teeming with different perspective and attacks to loosen... - The
Role of Electronic Components in Our Daily Life
This is My 100th hub and it is a tribute to the field of endeavor that was my "Bread and Butter," for the past several years, that is Electronics. Electronics - Almost everything that surrounds us has direct... - 60 Reasons Why
You Should Love NBA
One of the only three nations that treats basketball as a national sport and past time (the other two, the Serbia and Lithuania), the basketball-crazy Philippines was once a powerhouse in Asian basketball in... - Most Annoying
Work Habits
My friend once quoted "We work to live not we live to work." I was wondering what he means by this, after pondering for few days I realized that, earning a living is indeed essential for the income we... - How to Ask a
Girl For a Date
What separate a man from the boys; one of the answer perhaps would be marrying the girl of his dreams after tough grind from years or months of courtships and maintaining affectionate relationship. However to...
- http://hubpages.com/hub/Alcohol-Treatments-Hangover-Remedies-and-Tips
Eating and drinking are always present in celebrating various occasions such as birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and etc. After festivities however what happens next. The hangover causes can be attributed... - Worst
Floods and Typhoons in the Philippines
An average of 20 typhoons hit the Philippines annually. Some of these typhoons ignited soil erosion and deadly raging flashfloods, which resulted to tragedies in the country that killed numerous people and... - The
Splendid Philippine Festivals
(Author's Note: This Hub is a certified HubNugget and will focus on Pahiyas Festival of Quezon, Strawberry Festival of La Trinidad, Dagupan City's Bangus Festival, Panagbenga Festival of Baguio City, Pintados... - Who
is the Greatest Boxer of All Time Muhammad Ali or
Manny Pacquiao
Few decades ago, the planet witnessed the heroics of Muhammad Ali in the boxing ring. Alis rise to the pinnacle of the sports was mercurial and truly inspirational. He was an immovable force with... - Caramoan,
Camarines Sur, The Site of Five Survivor
Editions
What does Fiji, Thailand, Australia, Indonesia, Palau and Philippines in common these countries already played hosts to different Survivor editions (United States and or other countries). A reality TV...
