Compilation of Legal Text Jokes 2

Lawyer: You say that this woman shot her husband with his pistol at close range?

Accused: Yes sir, that’s right.

Lawyer: Any powder marks on his body?

Accused: Yes sir, that’s why I shot him.

Hehehe, Good reason, I hope you get this.

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Son: dad, is it true that the law of gravity keeps us on the earth?

Father: Yes son. That is true.

Son: What did we do before the law was passed?

Hmm I don’t know either wakikik

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Q. Those who don’t have me, don’t wish for me. Those have me do no wish to lose me. Those who win have me no longer. What am I?

A. L a w s u i t …

Hehehe

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Q. Did you notify the defendant you wanted him to return the car?

A. Yes I sent him a letter to return the car by registered mail.

You could’ve used e-mail nyahahaha

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Accused: But Judge I did it for you.

Judge: What! You did it for me?

Accused: Oh yes, Judge. The last time I was in trouble I promised you that I would never get arrested again – and I was just trying to keep my promise.

Hehehe…

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Q. What is the highest room in a university?

A. The library because it has the most stories

Hehehe

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Judge: You have been appearing before me in this Court for seven years.

Accused: Excuse me You Honor, but is it my fault if you are not getting promoted?

Hehehe

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Q. Do buses run on time?

A. No they run on wheels.

Hehehe

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Q. So after anesthesia, when you came out of it what did you observe with respect to your scalp?

A. I didn’t see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.

Q. Why, was it covered?

A. Yes, bandaged

Q. Then later on… what did you see?

A. I had skin draft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.

Hehehe.

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Witness: Ah-hah.

Lawyer: You have to say “yes” of “no’ so the court stenographer can get it down. Is that a yes when you said Ah-hah.

Witness: Ah-hah.

Hehehe..

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Prosecutor: Where was the police officer in relation to you when you were struck by the car?

Witness: To my left sir.

Prosecutor: How far to your left?

Witness: I don’t really remember, I was getting run over at that time.

Hehehe.

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Q. Why are the tallest lawyers the laziest?

A. Because they are longer in bed than others?

Hehehe

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Father: What did you do at the Law school tonight, son?

Son: Guessing game.

Father: Ha? I thought you had wills and succession?

Son: That’s right.

Nahahaha the son is counting the chicks already in a nest of eggs.

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Mrs. Stevenson: My daughter is at LawSchool. She’s very bright, you know. Everytime we get letter form her we have to go to the dictionary.

Mrs. Johnson: You’re very lucky. Every time we hear from our son, we have to go to bank…

Spoiled Brat wakikik J

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Insured: My car just went under water.

Insurer: That’s OK, don’t worry about it.

Insured: Why not?

Insurer: Your car is completely covered..

Hehehe

 

My twenty second hub to the hubchallenge

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