- Gender and Relationships
How to Make Real Friends and be a Great Friend
“There exists a friend sticking closer than a brother.” --- Proverbs 18:24
(This article contains tips to have enduring friends and provides an answer to the question, "How to build a real friendship"). An enduring friendship is truly essential to the human spirit as food and water are to our body. Whether we are rich or poor, we all need friends, our companions that will pull us through thick and thin. Friends are our constant source of joy that uplift our spirits every time we’re with them savoring moments of unending laughter and getting well with each other. Friends can provide us healthy conversation that expands our knowledge and wisdom. Much-needed advices in times of challenges are readily available when we need them and our friends are ready to give them without hesitation. They wipe away tears when sorrow and loneliness struck like a game called twist of fate. They are our solid anchors when we need stability and troubles lurk. They are our defensive sentinels when foes' slugs are all over the place. Pals, brother, sister, bro, sis or whatever we call our friends they are truly gems, priceless possessions to keep for a lifetime. But modern day living spreads our time & energy thin. Mobility from one place to another and the presence of IT stuffs like TV, DVD, computer, internet & more are affecting our getting acquainted with our friends well. Everyone seems busy at almost all the time. But still, young and old, we need happy and meaningful friendships.
Here are some effective and efficient tips to make real friends and be a great friend:
1. We need to know why we need to have friends. Loneliness is a healthy hunger… a natural sign that we are lacking companionship. Our thirst makes us drink water, the feeling of loneliness enables us to search for a good friend.
2. Adopt positive attitude, don’t feel sorry when others have more or better friendships than you, take good care of yourself physically and emotionally to help boost our chances of finding friend(s). Having a healthy diet, adequate rest, exercises, being neat, clean and well-groomed will immediately transform you to be a more desirable and enhances your self-esteem and self-respect. However don’t emphasize or overly concerned about outward appearance for what the good people are looking for are what lies in the inner person.
3. Communication and sharing are vital to true friendship than good looks and charisma. Empathy is essential in friendship and generosity and love will cover any shortcomings.
4. Just be yourself at all times. People who are genuinely happy, need not to impress others. Jolly people readily accept others as they are, disregarding over minor flaws. Remember, only by being genuine can we enjoy genuine friendship.
5. To have a friend, be a friend. To have real friends or to be an unselfish, giving friend yourself, in short, be a sincere friend. Friendship must be filled with more of giving than about getting. Authentic happiness comes from giving. The individual that receives is happy but the one that gives is even happier.
6. Learn to reach out to your friends. Sometimes our friends meet problems and it is nice to ask and understand them, and do all we can to help.
7. Be a good listener by displaying your interest in what others will say by not making any unnecessary interruptions.
8. Mutual respect. Showing consideration on “others” feelings. If you want your friends to be careful with what will come out from their mouth, you should do the same by being tactful.
9. Do not smother friends. Genuine friendship is neither jealous nor possessive. Allow your friends to enhance and nurture other friendship too. Additionally, consider your friends need for privacy, e.g. married friends need time for themselves, be balanced yet sincere.
10. Do not demand perfection. No one is flawless and we don’t hold any right to ask our friends to be perfect. We must accept our friend’s imperfections and make some adjustments for them, and vice versa.
11. To improve friendship, genuine happiness can emanate from giving yourself, time and resources. Then the reward you could reap is far greater than the effort and sacrifices you’ve poured out. When considering would be friends do not look up to whom you can give advantage.
12. It has been said that friendship doubles our joys and halves our sorrows. Be realistic though, don’t expect that our friends will solve all our problems.
13. Once we have made friends, never take him/her for granted. When apart by time and distance, friends should think about each other, pray for each other and even if they get to see each other once in a blue moon. They can quickly make adjustments with each other.
14. Friends through thick and thin will be always be at your side when difficulty or need arises, and is also important to be there for them when they also need us in times of distress.
15. True best of friends are fast to solve any conflicts and ready to forgive each other, when misunderstandings sprout out like mushrooms. Real friends do not leave their friends because the road sometimes gets rocky and bumpy.
16. By having not selfish motives and with positive attitude, you can acquire real friend.
17. Select friends that have high moral values. When two individuals give potent moral strength to their friendship, they can help each other to grow and their bonds will get even stronger.
18. French Pacôme quips, “ For me a true friend is one who listens to use and speaks kindly words to me but who is also capable of reprimanding me when I do something stupid". Friends will always aid you in the right paths and correct you when you are about to make foolish things.
19. Get to know potential friend up close and personal. To discern someone’s true attitudes requires patience, skill and time. If a person will talk behind your back, will not make a great friend. Be cautious in sizing your friends, those who tends to use people and fond of excessive vices will not make good potential friends.
20. Does common traits important in friendship? To have something in common is vital in friendship to easily understand each other and its best if they have the same basic moral and spiritual values. However,commonness in personality and background is not a requirement in a true friendship, differences in life oftentimes can bring diversity and dynamism to a friendship, Age difference is not hindrance in friendship, the older people will provide experience, wisdom, discernment & equilibrium that young ones lacks. The young guns, on the other hand, provides the energy, exuberance and vitality that could uplift spirits.
My fifteenth (15th) Hub in the HubChallenge...
- How to Feel Good About Yourself When You Don't Have Many Friends
- 50 attributes, traits, characteristics and qualities that you are looking for in a friend
- Why other people find it difficult to have an enduring friendship
- The importance of intimate friendship
- Are you a true friend or not?
- Ways to let your kids or children have friends
- How to Make Real Friends and be a Great Friend