Compilation of Legal Text Jokes
" A Laughter a day keeps the doctor away."
Here are some legal jokes / text messages that will somehow make you laugh wakikik...
You can use the contents of this hub as text jokes or text messaging jokes to your friends and relatives. Hope you like it though...
Four kinds of SLOGANS
Preacher: I pray for all.
Lawyer: I plead for all.
Doctor: I prescribe for all.
Plain Citizen: I pay for all.
… from an American Airlines Ad:
Why waste time on land and sea? We can fly you directly to your office.
An open letter:
I was wondering if I could stay with you for a couple days. Everybody’s so angry at me and I really need a friend.
Osama Bin Laden
Judge: Do you know the import of your oath taken in this proceeding?
Witness: Yes, sir, it means that if I am to lie I must stick to it.
Dad: Son, You are grounded, or better still you should be placed behind bars.
3-Yr. Old Son: Okay, I agree to be placed behind CHOCOLATE bars.
Son eventually growing up to be 16 years old:
Dad Son: You are grounded, or better still you should be place behind bars.
Son: Okay, I agree to be put behind every JAZZ bar.
A practitioner parked his Expedition outside the Ocean Park Restaurant, went into the restaurant and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, accompanied by the best champagne.
A lawyer-friend approached him and expressed surprised at seeing him there. “It’s my wedding anniversary,” said the practitioner.
Trying to avoid a long conversation on the subject, the friend said, “Are you keeping well?”
“I’m OK said the practitioner, “But business, I mean my practice is terrible. I’m losing a fortune with all these bills piling up.”
His friend pointed out that things couldn’t be all that bad if he could still afford to eat at OceanPark.
“But last year, I could afford to bring my wife,” he replied.
Wife: I’ve been to the hairdresser’s, darling.
Lawyer-husband: Were they closed?
Dad: What do you want to be when you pass the Bar son?
Son: A Judge, Dad.
Son: Because they stop thinking after their appointment to office.
Atty. Holmes: I have a clever wife.
Atty. Jackson: Mine finds out, too.
Law student asking girlfriends hand for marriage: I want your daughter, sir, for my wife.
Judge who happens to be the father of the girl: I am not willing to make the exchange.
Three aging college professors were discussing great personalities:
“If I had the choice,” said the Philosophy professor “I would like to be buried with Plato, the greatest philosopher the world has known.”
“And I,” said the Fine Arts professor, “would choose Michelangelo, the greatest artist of the Renaissance.”
They looked at the Law professor. He said. “I’d like to be buried with Pamela Anderson.’
The others were startled: But she isn’t dead yet.
“He grinned and replied: Neither am I.”
hehehe i hope you know the dagger in this joke...
A lawyer who was about to embrace a sexy young thing was caught in the act and was asked:
“What were you doing?
“Ah eh… My wife says that I’m a great lover. I would like to get a second opinion.
Traffic Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I said myself, 65 at least.
Woman Driver: I don’t think that’s quite fair. I think this hat makes me older.
This is my 17th hub in the hub challenge
My other thought-provoking and compelling hubs
to Make Your Girlfriend Love You (Even More)
Men are prone to heartaches, and like women they cast doubts about the sincerity and love poured on them by their girlfriends. If you have a girlfriend dont be too sure that youll keep her for good,...
to Pass the Civil Service Examination in the
The Civil Service Examination that is given in the Philippines is indeed a tough nut to crack; the passing rate over the years had dipped drastically, no thanks to the high 80% mark, one should hurdle. The...
Conservation of the World's Rarest Bird of Prey,
the Philippine Eagle
If the American Bald Eagle is the symbol of United States' free-wheeling and vibrant democracy, the Philippines has its own emblem for her national sovereignty and freedom as well. The mighty Philippine...
- Ways to Save
Our planet is indeed gasping for breath right now, our harmful pollutions is indeed choking her slowly and continues to stripped her with her ozone layer. I think it is about time to give our timely response...
Finest Places and Beaches in the Philippines
The Philippines is so blessed with nature's bounty, and some of these can even be likened to paradise hidden and spread throughout her majestic archipelago. Many believed that most great places are somewhat...
Some Foreigners Prefer Marrying Filipinas
the other lass in other countries if not beyond compare. Their smile will indeed lighten up your day as if they put you in clouds with a very light feeling, dismantling your worries for a great while, could...
Historic Inauguration of Benigno Noynoy Aquino as
the 15th Philippine President
The Philippines, a nation which is hungry for a real change now have another President inaugurated this June 30, 2010, with hopes high that poverty will be minimized if not totally eradicated and genuine...
Natural Wonders, Wealth and Sceneries of Amazing
The Philippines is certainly a dot in the world but teems with enormous and seem infinite treasures. With her majestic rolling mountains, hills and volcanoes, rainforests that is embellished with wonderful...
Importance of Sports in Your Kid's Life
What is elementary life without sports? Probably boring and lifeless as it is. Sports is vital in the very young lives of your kids for it gives them a lot of things to learn about life aside from...
Philippine Wildlife :: Rare Animals in the
(This is a tribute to the planet we call home since she will be celebrating her birthday in the days to come and this is actually first of two parts.) The Philippines is indeed a haven for wonderful animals...
to Pass the Board Licensure Examination
(The original contents of this hub was accidentally deleted, hayz, I dont have an idea why it was deleted maybe I could be the culprit or someone deleted it when I forgot to sign out, still this is a blessing...
for Freshwater Fishes
Aquarium fishes whether tropical or saltwater are indeed a nice sight to see. Exhibiting unusual behaviors, flashing different colors, coming in a wide array of different shapes and sizes aquarium fishes are...
Causes and Effects of Climate Change in our Planet
Just a month ago, a powerful typhoon the worst ever perhaps in my province literally took us by the storm. Wow, the typhoon was so destructive and devastating that the tremendous damage it had made will...
to be a Sports Editor or a Sports Writer
(Editor's Note: This Hub contains a brief story and insights on how to be a sports editor or sports writer). Sports writing has its own distinct identity, very interesting and yet enjoying. It has dimensions...
to Make Real Friends and be a Great Friend
An enduring friendship is truly essential to the human spirit as food and water are to our body. Whether we are rich or poor, we all need friends, our companions that will pull us through thick and thin....
is Better Private School or Public School
School is an institution where our kids well learn a lot of things that could help them become more responsible and productive citizens in our society. It is the place where education is given importance as...
Index Your Blogs or Hubs
Your blogs or hubs may take a month or perhaps longer before it will be indexed in various search engines (Yahoo, Google, Bing etc.), and this may keep your write-up(s) at bay. Instead of waiting for the time...
that Should Not be Offered to Pets (Rabbits,
Hamsters or Birds)
I already produced a hub about foods that shouldnt be eaten by dogs, titled, The Foods Your Dogs Shall Not Eat, and this article endeavor to tackle more foods that are not good to your pets such as birds...
World's Favorite Animals
Animals are indeed a treasure to human beings they usually give us ohs and ahs, when we see them perform awesome tricks in circus, give us thrills when we see them in zoo being fed by caretaker or simply by...
- How to Save
our Planet Earth
In 1992 World Summit held in Rio de Janeiro, getting rid of pollution was the main agenda as well as making our planet healthy amid industrial progress. However the ratification and implementation of this...
to Avoid Stress, Tension and Pressures
With the recent economic turmoil, stress seems to disrupt and affect the way of life of most people. People nowadays are worried about the security of their tenure in work, health, their children's needs and...
Awesome Nutritional Benefits of Asparagus
It is not just a delectable treat as asparagus proves to be one of the most nutritious vegetables one should regularly eat. It is in abundance of vitamins, minerals and nutrients that are beneficial to...
to prevent and treat insect bites
Kids love to play outdoors but sometimes dangers lurks, or in plain words they are not safe since they are expose to various bugs that can be harmful. Insect bites when inflicted to your kids skin...
- A List of Unusual
Most of us are seemed to be in awe with animals especially when we have some of them as our well-loved pets. Cuddly and affectionate, these wonderful creatures give us joy when we are with them and even...
of Filipino Jokes and Funny Text Messages
Filipinos are known for their sense of humor, an attribute that keeps them afloat and strong amid very difficult problems and tough challenges. Filipinos derives some of their strength and persistence by...
Quezon Pahiyas Festival
The Philippines culture and heritage is indeed rich yet very diverse, this is apparent with Pahiyas Festival, which is held in Lucban, Quezon, Philippines every 15th day of May. Tens of thousands of...
the Philippine Wildlife World Record Holders
(Second of two parts) The diversity of the Philippines in terms of marine life and flora and fauna is truly spectacular as it is lavished with interesting features that will truly sets them apart from the...
of Inspirational Quotations for Text
... Ready for Anything (a one of a kind book that contains principles that is built to enhance the productivity of individual's life and work). The book is tailored to tackle and topple the rigors of work...
to be an Effective and Efficient Teacher
.... reward but for self-fulfillment and doing things that are ought to be done. Teaching is not just a profession, it should be utilized as a powerful way of touching the lives of the children, always...
The 2010 FIFA Soccer World Cup will kick off this coming June in South Africa and everyone is seemed upbeat with it. I whipped out this article that is teeming with different perspective and attacks to loosen...
Role of Electronic Components in Our Daily Life
This is My 100th hub and it is a tribute to the field of endeavor that was my "Bread and Butter," for the past several years, that is Electronics. Electronics - Almost everything that surrounds us has direct...
- 60 Reasons Why
You Should Love NBA
One of the only three nations that treats basketball as a national sport and past time (the other two, the Serbia and Lithuania), the basketball-crazy Philippines was once a powerhouse in Asian basketball in...
- Most Annoying
My friend once quoted "We work to live not we live to work." I was wondering what he means by this, after pondering for few days I realized that, earning a living is indeed essential for the income we...
- How to Ask a
Girl For a Date
What separate a man from the boys; one of the answer perhaps would be marrying the girl of his dreams after tough grind from years or months of courtships and maintaining affectionate relationship. However to...
Eating and drinking are always present in celebrating various occasions such as birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and etc. After festivities however what happens next. The hangover causes can be attributed...
Floods and Typhoons in the Philippines
An average of 20 typhoons hit the Philippines annually. Some of these typhoons ignited soil erosion and deadly raging flashfloods, which resulted to tragedies in the country that killed numerous people and...
Splendid Philippine Festivals
(Author's Note: This Hub is a certified HubNugget and will focus on Pahiyas Festival of Quezon, Strawberry Festival of La Trinidad, Dagupan City's Bangus Festival, Panagbenga Festival of Baguio City, Pintados...
is the Greatest Boxer of All Time Muhammad Ali or
Few decades ago, the planet witnessed the heroics of Muhammad Ali in the boxing ring. Alis rise to the pinnacle of the sports was mercurial and truly inspirational. He was an immovable force with...
Camarines Sur, The Site of Five Survivor
What does Fiji, Thailand, Australia, Indonesia, Palau and Philippines in common these countries already played hosts to different Survivor editions (United States and or other countries). A reality TV...