Barack Obama Jokes

1. 0

   SirDentposted 14 years ago

   I really like this one.
   
   http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1127018/o … t_kissing/

   replyreport
2. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   The turkey that President Obama will pardon this year for Thanksgiving will come from California. The spokesman for the turkey said it doesn’t need a pardon, it needs a job.  - Jay Leno

   replyreport
3. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   President Obama has a tough decision to make this week. Which turkey does he pardon — the thanksgiving one or Charlie Rangel?  - Jay Leno

   replyreport
4. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   In Portugal, Obama pointed out that his dog, Bo, is a Portuguese Water Dog. That’s a good way to make friends — “Hey, you know who’s just like you people? My dog.”  - Jimmy Fallon

   replyreport
5. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   President Obama has a children’s book. It’s called, “How the Grinch Stole the Midterm Elections.”  - David Letterman

   replyreport
6. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   President Obama is doing an interview with Barbara Walters that will air the day after Thanksgiving. Walters will ask Obama how he plans to stop the fighting in the Middle East, while he'll ask her how she plans to stop the fighting on “The View.”  - Jimmy Fallon

   replyreport
7. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   In the latest Harry Potter film, Harry loses his friends, has to battle overwhelming evil forces, and hides in exotic foreign places to avoid public scrutiny. I’m sorry, that’s President Obama.  - Jay Leno

   replyreport
8. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   

   replyreport
9. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   

   replyreport
10. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama received 12 stitches in his lip after being elbowed in the mouth during a basketball game. Out of force of habit, he blamed George Bush.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
11. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama announced a two-year pay freeze for all federal employees. This means the next time the TSA agent is reaching into your pockets, he’s looking for spare change.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
12. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama made a surprise visit to Afghanistan. Nobody knew he was going — except for the WikiLeaks guy.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
13. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Obama was going to have a meeting with Afghan President Karzai about the country’s corruption, incompetence, and the wasting of American tax dollars. And that’s just what Karzai was going to lecture Obama about. - Jay Leno

    replyreport
14. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

    replyreport
15. 0

    Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

    Two words.
    
    Barney Frank.
    
    'nuff said.

    replyreport
16. 60

    jokeapptvposted 14 years ago

    those are some funny jokes.

    replyreport
17. 0

    Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

    If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.
    
    Apparently Obama has poor eyesight, 'cause this Nation wasn't broken until he stepped into the limelight.

    replyreport
18. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama’s pledge to have the most transparent administration in history has come true. Thanks to WikiLeaks.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
19. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama went to Afghanistan over the weekend. He dropped in, shook a few hands, and left within an hour. It’s like me at Thanksgiving.  - David Letterman

    replyreport
20. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    It looks like the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthy will continue thanks, to the courage of a strong Republican leader: Barack Obama.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
21. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    In fact, Obama changed his slogan from "yes, we can" to "yes, we cave."  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
22. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    I’ll give you an idea how bad it is for him now. Now Democrats want to see his birth certificate.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
23. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama has reached a deal with Republicans to extend the Bush tax cuts, in exchange for extending jobless benefits. Republicans in Congress say they’re thrilled with the tax cuts, while Democrats leaving Congress say they’re thrilled with the jobless benefits.  - Jimmy Fallon

    replyreport
24. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    According to a report, the worst drivers in the country are in Washington, D.C. Republicans can only turn right, Democrats can only turn left, and Obama is weaving all over the place.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
25. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Do you know that president Obama is into re-gifting? In fact, he just gave the Republicans the tax cuts he inherited from President Bush.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
26. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    According to a new poll, 51 percent of Americans feel that their lives were better two years ago before President Obama took office. To which President Obama said, “Join the club.”   - Jay Leno

    replyreport
27. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    It was a year ago that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. It’s the only thing in his presidency he hasn’t blamed on George W. Bush.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
28. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama is reportedly trying to quit smoking, but he can’t get the 60 votes in the Senate to make it happen.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
29. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

    replyreport
30. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

    replyreport
31. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    After signing the law, President Obama said our government shows it is serious about setting a good example for children’s health. Then he went outside to smoke a cigarette.  - Craig Ferguson

    replyreport
32. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Do you believe those numbers all across the country? Five in Iowa, 13 in Wisconsin, 22 in Washington. And that's just President Obama’s approval ratings.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
33. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama showed up 20 minutes late to a press conference. It was the longest he’s kept everyone waiting — well, unless you count the past two years.  - Jimmy Fallon

    replyreport
34. 60

    tobey100posted 14 years ago

    Haven't got a new joke but did see a bumper sticker with Obama's profile that said "Does this bumper sticker make my car look bigger?"

    replyreport
    1. 67

       Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       That's a good one.

       replyreport
35. 0

    Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

    Obama had the wording changed in the health "care" bill so that "mentally retarded" would become "intellectually challenged".   Nothing really wrong with that except that he's fitted into a broader agenda to re-define everything.
    
    So, going by that example, I guess Obama really isn't an immoral putzy usurper;  he's just "morally and patriotically challenged".

    replyreport
36. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Two feet of snow in the Midwest. But the good news is, these are the first shovel-ready jobs Obama has come up with since becoming president.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
37. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    A new survey finds that although his approval ratings are low, President Obama is still ahead of the most prominent Republicans. Have you seen his tax plan? He is the most prominent Republican.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
38. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama met with leaders of 60 American Indian tribes. I don't want to say the country's in bad shape, but he offered to give it back to them.  - Jay Leno
    
    The president was honored by the Indians with his own Indian name. They now call him, "Dances With Republicans."  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
39. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama read his new children’s book to a classroom of second-graders in Virginia. It did not go well. Fifty-nine percent of the kids disapproved, and 83 percent of the children felt the story was headed in the wrong direction.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
40. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama said he walks his dog Bo on the White House lawn, but sometimes he has to scoop up Bo’s poop. They probably should find someone else to do that. If there’s one thing Obama’s not good at, it’s cleaning up a mess that was left for him.  - Jimmy Fallon

    replyreport
41. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Obama and Hu had a private dinner the night before. When Obama tried to pick up the check, Hu said, “Your money is no good here.” Obama laughed, and Hu said, “No, really, your money is no good.”  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
42. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. The world leader with the funny name, who grew up in Asia, said he enjoyed meeting President Hu. - Conan

    replyreport
43. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Chinese President Hu Jintao was hinting that China may not loan the U.S. any more money. President Obama is now talking to him about a reverse mortgage.  - Jay Leno

    replyreport
44. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    In the State of the Union address tonight, President Obama focused his speech on how to bring prosperity back to America. It basically involves all of us convincing Oprah we're her half sister. That's the plan.  - Conan

    replyreport
45. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Obama wants to freeze government spending for the next five years and then in year six have a huge party and blow all of it.
      - Jimmy Kimmel

    replyreport
46. 0

    Stevennix2001posted 14 years ago

    Barrack Says:  My approval rating is so bad that I have to get other ex presidents like Bill Clinton to propose tax cuts for me.

    replyreport
    1. 67

       Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       That's a good one Steven!

       replyreport
47. 60

    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    

    replyreport
48. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

    replyreport
49. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

    replyreport
50. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

    replyreport