Barack Obama Jokes

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   

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      pisean282311posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   The theme of President Obama's State of the Union address was "Win the Future." It was much more inspiring than the original theme: Beat the rerun of "Top Chef."  - Conan

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   

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      Julie2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      HOLY S#IT!

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   Butterfly101posted 14 years ago

   Lol

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   President Obama had a Super Bowl party which featured food from both Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, which explains why he tested positive for diabetes the next morning. - Conan

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   At President Obama’s Super Bowl party, they had cheeseburgers and deep-dish pizza. So much for Michelle Obama’s healthy eating initiative. - David Letterman

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   President Obama urged private businesses to hire more workers. He didn’t realize that only the government hires more people than it needs. - Jay Leno

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    Stevennix2001posted 14 years ago

    O'Bama has to get to his next big agenda that's so important that it takes priority over all things including the economy...meeting another sports player/team for no other reason than just to meet with them.  sure, other presidents only met with players and teams after they won a title, but not o'bama.  he'll just meet with any old player or team for the sure hell of it.  screw taking care of the country.  he has to worry about making press appearances with sports figures. 

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Joe Biden announced plans for a $53 billion train system. To offset the cost, they’re raising the price of a train ticket to $53 billion. - Craig Ferguson
    
    Okay, so it was about Joe not the Big O, it's almost the same thing.

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama unveiled his new budget, including $1 trillion in spending cuts, which Obama called the most painful choice he’s ever made. Then he looked over at Joe Biden and said, “OK, 2nd most painful choice.” - Craig Ferguson

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    First lady Michelle Obama told "Regis & Kelly" she was expecting jewelry on Valentine's Day. She said it wouldn't be anything extravagant because Barack tends to be responsible when he's spending his own money.  - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

    The Obama economy is so bad that the Chicago mafia is thinking of laying off Judges.

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    Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

    The Obama economy is so bad that Chris Matthews' leg now tingles at the thought of Joe Biden.

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       Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       
       
       Good one Brenda!

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama has appointed AOL founder Steve Case to the White House jobs council. Hiring the founder of AOL is expensive, but Obama got a CD-ROM in the mail that offered 100 free hours.  - Jimmy Fallon

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    The Discovery space shuttle crew received a call from President Obama, who said, “You won’t believe what’s going on with Charlie Sheen.”  - Conan

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Mexican President Calderon told President Obama that the United States must do more to reduce the demand for drugs. Obama said, “We got Charlie Sheen off cocaine. What more do you want us to do?”  - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama said he was always getting in trouble when he was in middle school. In fact, Obama said he talked so much during class, the teacher had to take away his teleprompter. - Jimmy Fallon

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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       Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       thanks for making my day with this fk, as these comic strips are just too funny. 

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama went on ESPN to announce his NCAA tournament picks. Or, as Japan put it, “Really?”  - Jimmy Fallon

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       Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       it's interesting for a guy that's supposed to be so busy handling and cleaning up bush's mess; while worrying about the problems over in Japan and Libya.  Yet, he still has enough time to make his personal ncaa picks.  where does he find the time?  

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          Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah Steven, you do have to wonder how Obama prioritizes

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama told Americans not to worry about the radiation from Japan — as he left for South America.  - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    A New Jersey school named after President Obama is closing because of low enrollment. That explains the school’s new education plan, “No Child Left . . .”  - Jimmy Fallon

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama is facing criticism for going on ESPN to pick his NCAA brackets when there are more important issues on his agenda. When he heard this, Obama said, “Wait . . . Was today my fantasy baseball draft?”  - Jimmy Fallon

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    andrebreynoldsposted 14 years ago

    It seems that almost everybody here hates Obama.

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    The situation is deteriorating in Libya and Japan and the stock market is collapsing worldwide. President Obama finally took decisive action. He named Duke, Kansas, Ohio State and Pittsburgh as his Final Four.  — Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    For Lent, some people give up meat, and some people give up drinking. President Obama gave up conferring with Congress.  - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama returned home from Latin America but the door to the Oval Office was locked when he arrived. Now the U.S. is at war with a door.  - Jimmy Kimmel

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama had to use another door to get into the White House yesterday after he got home and the entrance to the Oval Office was locked. When he couldn’t get in, Obama said “Holy cow, is it 2012 already?”   - Jimmy Fallon

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    We’re fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we’d be fighting if President Obama hadn’t won the Nobel Peace Prize.  - Jay Leno

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       Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama has to cut his trip to Latin America short because of the situation in Libya — and to check on his NCAA brackets.  - Jimmy Kimmel

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama is cutting his trip to Latin America short by a few hours because of the situation in Libya. So to everyone who said Obama didn’t care about Libya, you’re wrong. He cares three hours worth.  - Jimmy Fallon

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    We know more about President Obama’s basketball picks than his plans for Libya.  - Jay Leno

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    Stevennix2001posted 14 years ago

    Barrack O'Bama says:  Vote for change!
    
    (what most people don't read in the fine print, "vote for change.......for the worse!)

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       Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Stevie, we have to vote for change...we don't have any dollars left. Pa-rum-pum!

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          Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          yep, that's about the size of it alright.

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    President Obama is doing business in Latin America this week. I guess regular America isn’t good enough for him anymore. - Jimmy Kimmel

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Remember when President Obama said we can’t fight two wars and vowed to change our policy? Well, he did. Now we’re fighting three wars.  - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Obama said we will send economic aid to Libya to help the Libyan people reach their dreams. And if that works, they’ll try it here.  - Jay Leno

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    gogetter4uposted 14 years ago

    there writing a story on books & lit & writing...it's funny & people r adding 2 it 2c how far its goes. go to lets write a story..tell us what's next in the story...this is a good way to get known... have fun..

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    

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