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This is how I always felt too. Nice guys and girls end up better off because they don't leave a trail of hurt, vengeful people behind them. Making enemies everywhere never pays off.
I would love to hear about that psychology lecture you mentioned. Can you tell me more about it? To me, kindness is a great attribute in any person. Especially in a partner...it makes them that much more attractive. GREAT ANSWER - voted up.
It's on itunes U - the TED Psychology course. It is the audio file entitled Paul Bloom on Sex, George Clooney, and other Pleasures. They discuss some really interesting stuff.
Thanks for your courage in sharing this story so honestly. We all hear this idea, but to hear a story of the actual moment of insight and change is inspiring.
Too true. Welcome, my loving sister.
Yes, there are comfort levels of kindness according to those around you.
Being "nice" is just the tip of the iceberg...there's a lot more to it. If someone is just trying to be nice for appearances, as you mentioned, are fooling themselves. Being loving & honest is important...being nice/kind goes right along side.