Why do we judge men and women so differently when it comes to cheating on their spouse?
is it because of the reasons they give or simply their gender....
I am not sure, Is it because we have a different point of view of the man, interms of the phallic symbol and is it because we end up blaming women as the weaker of the sexes and should have been more determined not to cheat.
Funny, I never recognized that there was a difference. I just think that it is a matter of from what point of view you see the problem. Neither male or female cheaters are going to receive a free pass or a ticker-tape parade.
I was told by a guy once, the reason he thought women cheaters are thought of as worse, because they receive the man (physically) she allows him inside her, lets himself go inside her, (sorry no pretty way to say it) kind of like you can't blame someone for knocking on the door, but it's your door you don't have to open it.
But anyway it was letting someone have access to inside your body, makes women worse.
I've always thought both sides are equally wrong. Sorry such a weird answer but for some reason it seemed to make a strange sort of sense to me.
I don't know if I judge them differently. I think both show that the person has done something extremely hurtful to someone they are supposed to love.
They are both equally as bad.
Generally guys are thought as bad, cheaters etc but Iv seen just as many girls doing the same, so I dont think thats the case. Girls will very rairly admit they cheat. If they talk about an ex they will mostly say that he dumped me because of xyz but very rarely will they admit having an affair to any of their friends etc.
I don't think there's a difference. I'm curious as to what you think the difference is.
Personally, I try not to judge anyone. Especially in matters which are really the private business of the participants.
Something about "Judge not, lest ye be judged.." ?
But I'd be interested in knowing what you base this assertion on anyway.
Life is unfair. The world is unfair. And like everything else, cheating is no exception. If it is a woman who cheats on his husband, then the whole society is against her. It is viewed as immoral and an act of a whore. Forgiveness at this point is impossible especially if the man is a chauvinistic and narrow-minded. On the other hand, if it is a man who is caught cheating over his wife, the rest of the world will say," Ah, He is a man. He will not lost anything. This is a symbol of his manhood and masculinity." Forgiveness is difficult to achieve but is not that impossible.
Simply put, this is a matter of gender.
Thank you for the opinions. I ask this question because I have seen some very different points of view in emails from readers and in discussions I've had on this topic. It does seem that a woman gets judged a little more harshly and that people are more tolerant of a man cheating on his spouse (almost like "it's just what some of them do"). I know of a few situations where a woman has cheated, left her marriage and in two of the cases she left the children behind with her husband to relocate with the new partner. These women were torn to shreds by many people and they called them names I can not repeat here. Maybe my question is more about why women are judged more harshly when they leave the family for an affair partner but men everywhere are not raising their own children full time and that is somewhat accepted. There definitely is a bias I think, I try not to judge but as a mother myself I can't imagine leaving my child behind for any reason. The thought alone greatly disturbs me.
I need more thoughts on this so I can write a fair article on the subject. I was asked by one of these women why she was judged so harshly when men do it all the time. She still sees her children and has a strong involvement in their lives but she also gets a lot of backlash for her decision.
this is what we call double standard..but for me even do im a woman..i think it's more worst when a woman do the cheating thing..cos women are suppose to be more naturally better than man lolsss..and woman makes a good difference in this world,well i believe that..so when a woman cheat,she is at her worst state...
2nd thing is..mostly guys cheat cos of sex..some women cheat not only on sex aspect but it is more on emotional one..so thats very devastating thing on guys part..it will hurt their ego like omg some other brotah hit my girl hahaha.no guys even girls specially on guys part..would love someone to dip a chicken leg on their gravy aside from them...it is not a free taste thing hahaha...whatever cheating is cheating period and its absurd:)
Usually, the common perception is that women cannot do wrong though we have many examples going the other way round. Being a woman I feel it is extremely sad to judge by the gender because women are taking the advantage of the whole practice.
Personally I feel being a third person I should not judge and judging simply on the basis of gender is sheer foolishness.
cheatlierepeat, I think your comment brings up a different matter. I supsect both men and women are looked down upon for betraying their significant other or spouse. Women however do run the risk of getting a worse wrap if they become pregnant and attempt to pass the child off as being that of the man they are (suppose to be tied) to. The other scenario you mentioned concerning women who (leave their children) as they pursue a new relationship is also looked down upon is also looked down upon far worse.
Society is use to having the man move out of the household and playing the role of weekend parent. (Women) in particular look down on other women that leave their children behind with their father. My guess is "tradition" plays a major role in how we view this scenario. A mother's love has always been more valued than a father's love. Just look at the difference in how we honor them on their "hallmark days". There is no song titled, "Sometimes I Feel Like A Fatherless Child..." Maybe it's the bond of having the child come from the mother's body that causes us to believe it's more devastating for her to leave the child behind. The responsibility of parenting should be equal. I don't think there is a double standard when it comes to cheating but there is one when it comes to which parent moves away from the children.
I believe the society has made it a norm as men are considered to be free and unrestrianed in pursuing their selfish desires.
Even the culture and traditions of some lands do not hold any grudges or shun these practices especially when it comes to the men-folk.
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