When is a hug more than a hug between a man and a woman who is NOT his wife?

1. 54

   Shairyposted 7 years ago

   I thinks hugs and touching should be for the husband and wife. You can say hi without grabbing someone.

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2. 73

   Omar Eldamsheetyposted 7 years ago

   For me it is always over the line  ... a long hug means more than just a greeting .

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3. 61

   noeylabposted 7 years ago

   I think it depends on the culture and country that you are in and also on the person doing the hugging..

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4. 84

   S R Gibby-Brownposted 7 years ago

   It totally and completely depends on the personalities and the culture of the three people. In some cultures it is totally okay for affection such as a kiss on the mouth or cheek. If the woman or the man is from a culture like this then I think the wife has nothing to worry about. However, if none are from a culture where this is common, it depends on the personalities of the people. If they are friendly, affectionate people who are into platonic kissing, then it should be okay. UNLESS it makes the wife uncomfortable. In which case it is the wife's responsibility to tell her husband that kind of affection is weird to her. Then the couple can have an adult conversation to figure out how to fix the situation. If the wife is uncomfortable and she says nothing, then how is the husband to know she thinks he has gone over the line?

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5. 60

   MichaelMcNabbposted 7 years ago

   The answer is not up to public scrutiny.  If it is appropriate to him and also to his wife that he only does a quick somewhat cold hug that is their relationship and it's the same if it's the opposite.  That decision is up to the married couple.  The opinions of relatives, friends, social communities like this simply do not matter.  You'll also notice that the opinion of his wife was intentionally placed second to his decision.  He is free to do as he likes even if she doesn't approve.  The individual comes before the relationship.  It is not up to one person to discipline another when we are adults.  If she does not approve of his behavior than it is up to her to either end the relationship or to learn how to deal with it in an appropriate manner.  One has to wonder why she would have made the choice to be with someone whom she doesn't approve if that's the case.

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6. 87

   Ed Schofieldposted 7 years ago

   I think it crosses the line if he's 'happy to see her' as Mae West put it. All kidding aside, all human behaviour must be judged in its context. For example, a woman can take off her bra on the beaches of St. Tropez, that is contextually fine. A woman should not take off her blouse and bra in the elevator at work. Read S.I. Hayakawa's works on Semantics. (be warned: his books are a lot drier than my stuff. If I wrote it, it might come out a few shades grayer.)

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   1. 87

      Ed Schofieldposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      And in the animal kingdom, there is also something to be observed. I tried to hug my first lab, she gave me a warning bite (softly delivered) on the nose. After a few months of having her in the house, and establishing our bond, it was fine with her.

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7. 52

   Sissy Bunchposted 7 years ago

   It's obvious if there is anything between two people long before any hug began. Chemistry is the giveaway. Very strong element between two people, it can't be hidden and usually is obvious to everyone else except the two people in question. They know but are the last to acknowledge it's existence.
   In this case a hug will only aggravate an already uncomfortable situation.
   Any case, if there's been a breech of trust that one has experienced in a relationship, they may or will never be able to accept hugs of or to anyone they're in a relationship with.
   On a personal note, my husband is not a hugger & frowns upon it concerning married individuals. We're married now 25 yrs, but experience with his 1st marriage, changed him. He has experienced infidelity during that time & as you can imagine, it has changed how his views on subjects such as this. Regardless of how wonderful our lives have been & remain, he stands firm concerning this matter.

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   1. 69

      shon1121posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Bad experiences count for a great deal.  It must be terrible to be cheated on.  Sorry that your husband suffered that..but then he may not have met you!

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8. 69

   Fiorenzo Arcadiposted 7 years ago

   It takes a lot of guts for a man to kiss a woman on the mouth in front of his wife.

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9. 52

   Cher43posted 7 years ago

   Out of the respect for his wife the husband should not be hugging other women.

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10. 0

    GalaxyRatposted 7 years ago

    In my opinion, it is wrong to kiss on the lips or hug from behind if you are not a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend. Hugs that are frontal, never really thought about it. And other touching actions I think are wrong depending on the person and that person's relationship with the one they are hugging, touching, kissing, etc.

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11. 69

    Timothy Haywardposted 6 years ago

    Totally agree with Rosa, cultural backgrounds will have influence the act of hugging because different social norms are involved. I will always remember I met this Spanish girl who kissed me on both cheeks while giving me a big hug and it did make me feel a little uncomfortable being British.
    
    Prolonged hugging, in my opinion, is perfectly fine because If I haven't seen an old friend for months regardless of gender a long hug is acceptable. I like how some responses are gender biased "it depends on what the woman accepts as hugging" I disagree entirely, men can be selective with who he chooses to hug.
    
    For me, it's a mix of cultural background, religion, dependent on situational context and what the person means to the individual and personal preference (who I will hug) and the influence of hugging in front of others (Ex. hugging an attractive girl in front of your partner).

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12. 59

    silkywayavenueposted 6 years ago

    I think it depends on the situation  but there must be a good reason why any man would hug another woman in front of his wife.
    
    1) She may be the wife of the man's friend
    
    2) She is a close friend of the couples
    
    3) She is a close friend of the man which the wife of the man knows about
    
    These situations can call for close warm hugs which is fine. Adding kisses in these setting I think is also fine since there are no boundaries being crossed.
    
    But the kisses must be confined to the cheek area and not on the mouth or on the neck.

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13. 63

    Drewdermontposted 6 years ago

    I doubt there is a man alive that has ever thought a hug to be betraying his wife or cheating somehow. If so, that relationship has far bigger intimacy problems than the husband hugging other women.

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14. 91

    Deborah Minterposted 6 years ago

    It probably depends on who he is hugging or kissing. A relative, or someone else....

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15. 92

    m-a-w-gposted 6 years ago

    I don't like to touch many people, just uncomfortable in general.  There are 6 people I would hug on a regular basis.  My wife, daughter, son, mother, mother-in-law, and my mother.  I kiss all of them but my mother-in-law generally on the lips.
    I am willing to give someone a hug if that is their style, but it is a chest up only.  There are situations that I understand hugging is appropriate and if it means more to that person than my discomfort (and I care for them in any regard) I will hug them.  If I hugged a person or kissed them on cheek or lips, I don't think my wife would care because she knows I love her and am committed to our marriage and we both agree on where lines are that we are comfortable with. 
    Now, she has several friends that hug when they come over and will hug them.  It would probably make their gathering more comfortable than to make a fuss about it, so understanding that I don't really care.
    Overall, those comfort levels are for everyone to decide for themselves

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16. 59

    Helen Bea Kirkposted 6 years ago

    This is a great subject! I'm sure wars have begun because of the blurred line of a hug. The farther out society drifts away from courtesy and manners, the more relational bloodshed will occur.
    The very thing we are instructed (by courtesy ) to do when greeting the opposite sex - particularly in front of a significant other - is proceed with caution. We are not mind readers therefore non of us knows the emotional baggage the person we are about to hug is carrying. They may construe your hearty hug as a green light to more interpersonal space invasion. Conversely, if you 'cold fish' hug, that same person - they may walk away intensely disliking you.
    This big bag of hugging worms gets worse! What about your significant other's perceptions of the hug? Were you too aggressive with your squeeze? Were you too distant? Any hug that causes one of the participants or anyone who witnesses the hug, to blush or get the air knocked out of them is inappropriate. Best to create your own safe "logo hug". Use it on everyone except your significant other or children - they should get the 'endearing hug' that warms them to their toes.

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17. 49

    Derek Upshawposted 6 years ago

    I have a female friend who has on 3 occasions I feel gave me signs of something more than a hug.
    1. Attending a party we hugged when I arrived. After the two second count I went to let go and she was still hugging. It didn't dawn on me until a few days later.
    2. At a Funeral we hugged again this hug was longer this time she kissed me between the neck and ear area. I think all the emotions of the funeral sparked that one
    3. On Friday night we seen each other we hugged and this time she rubbed my back afterwards.
    
    I don't know if I am just looking into this wrong or maybe there is some interest. My plan next time we hug is to place my arms a little lower and see what happens.
    Any other suggestions are welcomed. Just nervous. Maybe it's her culture to be a hugger but she doesn't hug everyone like that.

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    1. 91

       Deborah Minterposted 6 years agoin reply to this

       Perhaps....you should look back and see if she gave you other sighn s during your friendship..... Or if she exclusively is affectionate during hugs.

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18. 58

    Kezia Clarkposted 6 years ago

    In My Opinion, A Hug Is Not A Hug Anymore When It Turns Into Kisses Before or After The Hug.

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19. 69

    shon1121posted 6 years ago

    Social etiquette is so bloody confusing.  A keen reader my head was filled with the classics, romance et al from a young age!  My family had quite traditional values and living in a small town was very sheltered.
    
    I appreciate the individual but a trend in interests has meant a high proportion of male friends. The lines can blur and minds of each sex work differently.  I have been regularly more afraid of my male friends girlfriends jealousy and have been on the receiving end of nastiness throughout life for tomboyishness etc....
    
    I no longer care so much about consequence nor feel I need to justify self to anone.  I have drifted from some good friends but at my stage at the moment, there is more guys I would call friends than girls.  They are mostly single.
    
    It is hard to quell feelings for a member of your desired sex if you are just friends or had a romantic history however brief (especially if lonely). But total honesty is vital for all parties invalved.  Grudges are terrible things, I would not wish to lose out on being friends with someone I care about if it can be sorted.
    
    Good question

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20. 53

    ChadCrouchposted 6 years ago

    Depends on the people involved and what their culture is like.

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21. 67

    Larry Fishposted 6 years ago

    Debbie, last summer my wife and I attended my 50 year high school reunion. I hugged a lot of women at that event last year. Some of them I was really attracted to in high school. I think after 50 years my wife didn't pay much attention to it. She said once that I spent
    all day hugging the old hags, hahaha.  Yes, we are all older now,
    but I think at any age when a man hugs a woman in front of his wife it has to be done with common decency. A kiss on the cheek is fine,
    a kiss on the lips is not. It is just my opinion, but that is the way I
    feel.

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22. 61

    Kathe Jonesposted 6 years ago

    Doesn't it depend upon how long you hold the hug? I remember hugging the wife of a friend not too long ago, and she smelled so good I did not want to let her go. Her perfume was so seductive that I might have ended up in bed with her had there been an opportunity.

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23. 52

    Alfred Simorposted 6 years ago

    Hug is a feeling which convey love to anyone but as love has many shapes like parents, childrens etc..
    But when i say i hug to my girlfriend then it produces special feelings in me which i am unable to express.

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24. 43

    Deon Christieposted 6 years ago

    I think it's a question of space and body language. Nothing "Inappropriate" will be signaled, when nothing exists to signal from. A hug is more than a hug when it raises eyebrows, the sub conscious is not blind.

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25. 60

    UnTalk Therapistposted 6 years ago

    Yes, depends on the culture at large, but also on the "culture" of the marriage. Each couple establishes its own boundaries, expectations and levels of trust. Beyond that– talk about it when you are in cool, calm, collected "genius" brain, not when you're in impulsive, survivalist "crocodile" brain.

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26. 60

    teddi6posted 6 years ago

    I'm a firm believer in sharing a brief hug or a kiss on the cheek. However, in the interest of professionalism I would avoid hugs and kisses in the workplace. 
    
    I work in a male dominated industry and I could imagine the line going out my door for morning hugs.
    
    Sadly, we've become a society that fears physical contact and the judgements that might follow it, expecting the worse.
    
    As a single woman I will admit that I have had to add qualifiers to my theory, as some men tend to hug with purpose, or far too tightly a grasp. I've figured out ways to lock my elbows to weaken their embrace.
    
    Mind you, I speak only for adults. When it comes to children, there should be no physical contact. Some parents are quick to force their young children to give an uncle, or a grandfather, or aunt a hug. That behavior indoctrinates a child to believe they have no choice as to who touches them. That could easily set a precedent following them throughout their future lives.

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27. 48

    Elsa Berhaneposted 6 years ago

    Prolonged hug that is not a wife is unnecessary and it definitely sends a wrong message or there something b/n the two, and need to be addressed and stopped!

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28. 51

    ohidul islamposted 6 years ago

    Men  and women aren't allowed to hug as friends? I don't think that's a rule at all! Especially young people these days happily hug their opposite-sex friends, or kiss on the cheeks. And a quick closed-mouth kiss is not "mater. its just depend on the woman or on the situation

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29. 56

    Bsrsk Srikanthposted 6 years ago

    Its fine as long as everyone involved is cool about it

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30. 0

    RTalloniposted 6 years ago

    This interesting question with so many answers is particularly important to examine in the socio/political climate we face. With accusations surfacing on both left and right it's crucial to be honest about the details surrounding both the accusers and accused.
    
    It's mind boggling that the truth about how very different men and women are is ignored even as women spouting equality are dressing like streetwalkers to get men's attention. Men are afraid to be honest about how women dress actually affects them. Women are believing the lie that they can dress and behave provocatively but not have to own the consequences of it.
    
    How does all this apply to the question? Well, there are several issues to consider and it's critical to know that we are speaking generally here, knowing that individual circumstances have specific details
    
    If a wife does not understand the truth about men's responses to provocative dress and behavior they will believe the lie that a man is just hugging or kissing another woman. A man certainly may simply give a quick hug to another woman as a greeting, but his responses to the situation are still different than a woman's.
    
    Forced to constantly ignore their responses to women who dress provocatively men can quickly become stressed. Having no outlet for honest discussion about the issues they can become angry, sometimes not even understanding why they are angry.
    
    To keep this short, it's time for both men and women to be honest with themselves about the issues and then to honestly listen to each other about what they face with the intent of caring more about others than themselves. Understanding the layers of this is what can lead to respectful relationships and protection from the perversions that inflame the perverted.
    
    Yes, this concept goes against popular culture, but when we care less about that we can be more honest with ourselves and each other. The effect of that will be a protection for everyone, young and old.

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31. 57

    bluesradioposted 6 years ago

    Hugs are a part of a lot of society's cultures...so no problem with a Hug, now if it's winds up turning into some pinching of body parts or other more aggressive action, then it's crossed the line....

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32. 60

    paradigmsearchposted 4 years ago

    Hugs where there is body contact only above the waist is generally considered socially acceptable and is considered a norm and no big deal. A full-body-contact hug usually means there is more at play, but doesn't always mean it is sexual in nature.

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33. 62

    Larrycodeposted 3 years ago

    In turns big when either both parties needs a shoulder to lean on

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