When is a hug more than a hug between a man and a woman who is NOT his wife?

1. 69

   chaitanyasaivbposted 10 years ago

   Basically, it is not advisable for any person, to hug another woman, if he was already married. Because, after marriage, women wants her husband, to give all his love to her only. So, When ever, he tries to hug a woman, it really hurts her, whether her husband kisses the other woman or not. There is no different in kissing on the neck or on the mouth. Doing things like these will arise some problems. Better to avoid such things.

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      IslandBitesposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Generalizations. I am a woman and I don't mind when my husband hugs other women. And I obviously don't get hurt by that, neither my husband when I hug other men.

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   2. 69

      chaitanyasaivbposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You have better understanding of the both. So, You both, never mind, when you hug other men, or your husband hug other women. But, Some people, can't take it any more, when their spouse, hugs someone else.

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   3. 74

      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Again, avoiding it keeps it from the potential of hurt feelings.  A marriage sometimes can handle some types of contact, but many cannot.  Thanks for commenting!

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2. 0

   ShujinkoDegusposted 10 years ago

   When the waist is touched, the limit is pushed.

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   1. 74

      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed!  Thanks for commenting!

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3. 71

   brakel2posted 10 years ago

   I once kissed and hugged an old boyfriend who came to my brother's funeral.It was a long time since we had seen each other.. My husband was there and thought nothing of it. It depends on on the people involved and the circumstances, Our family is devoted to hugging and kissing as are many of my friends. Hugging and kissing and touching gives everyone a good feeling, Maybe it is the German and Irish background. I know in some cultures or countries this might be inappropriate behavior.

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      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Funny but my husband would FLIP if I even hugged an ex!  He gets "grumbly" if I even chat with another man.  He had no problem with the situation.  People and circumstances make a world of difference.

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4. 76

   Naveed Ahmed 624posted 10 years ago

   Hug between a man and a woman who are not married to each other depends upon the society we live in. It is the culture, religious beliefs and norms that guide us about the particular behavior we have to abide by in the society. As a hubber here expressed amazement at the comments of some people who regarded such hugging as inappropriate.
   
   As I can say that in my culture and religious teachings, it is unimaginable to hug an opponent sex person (no matter whether in the presence or absence of wife). It is a sin to do so in Islam. The reason being that it paves the way towards sexuality and attraction for the person of the opposite sex. I know some people would say that they have no sexual intimacy or feelings when they hug their friends of the opposite sex, but it would be worth mentioning that such acts are only the cause of developing intimacy and thus further feelings / behavior.
   
   So Islam discourages the path towards evil from the very start, acknowledging (and declaring in the Holy Quran too via Sura 4: Verse 28) that man was created weak. Meaning that he call fall prey to evil practices easily as compared to acts of Good nature.

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   1. 74

      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for commenting.

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5. 0

   Pam Birchfieldposted 10 years ago

   As a general statement: Before getting jealous, remember that one of the two people are initiating. One may feel obligated to hug as to not hurt the others' feelings. Strangely enough, the man (in this case) is less worried about how you feel and more worried about how the "stranger/acquaintance" feels. Personally, if I feel obligated, I do an "ass-out" hug and do not hold the hug more than a second. As for a real hug, I believe that hugging a woman that is "in range of interest" is inappropriate and rude, regardless of if the spouse is in attendance.

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   1. 74

      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Pam, I agree...I hadn' thought of it that way actually!  You are also correct...it should be regardless of the spouse's presence.  Thanks for commenting!

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      indy500livestreamposted 9 years agoin reply to this

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6. 0

   MrDanielAbramposted 10 years ago

   I would say prolonged hugging becomes an issue. Also any other physical intimacy.

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   1. 74

      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Daniel, I agree. A quick hug between even practical strangers can be okay, but prolonging it opens up problems.  Thanks for commenting!

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7. 0

   moviesreviewsposted 10 years ago

   Depends on how well you know the person. I doubt you can cross the line to much with just a hug.

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   1. 74

      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      If it was only a hug....I can see it being totally harmless.  I feel the kiss on the neck took it over the top.  Again...situations are so the key.  Thanks for commenting!

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8. 69

   Neil S Hallposted 10 years ago

   A hug is more than a hug when it lasts too long, when it is accompanied by more than one or two quick kisses and when hands wander...

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      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree!  Thanks for commenting!

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9. 60

   MonkeyShine75posted 10 years ago

   I'm not married, and don't want to be at this time, because I am career oriented
   
   But members of the opposite sex should only hug a single woman if they are good, and confirmed platonic friends, or if they are dating
   
   I feel that no married person should hug another person of the opposite sex at all, unless they are related to one another
   
   Married people should not do anything that would hurt their spouse, or give people a reason to talk. They should always keep the vows they made the day they got married, Married people shouldn't put their selves in a place that they could be tempted away from their spouse

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   1. 74

      prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      So right!  Thanks for commenting!

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      MonkeyShine75posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you

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      indy500livestreamposted 9 years agoin reply to this

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10. 75

    Dana Lovrekposted 10 years ago

    Imagine how a sister and a brother would hug. It's short, there are no hands in inappropriate places, and a kiss on the cheek is perfectly acceptable because it is a greeting sign of affection without intimacy. In my personal opinion (and experience), that is a perfectly acceptable hug between two people of the opposite sex that does not offer suggestions or offends any other parties.Besides, if two people don't have feelings towards one another (so a friendship hug), then the hug will naturally be quick and in a greeting manner. 
    
    However, it does also depend on the person involved in the situation. If my husband and I happen to run into his ex-girlfriends while out and about, it's not unlikely for them to attempt to lean in with a hug, more as a territorial gesture at me that "they were there at one point and shared intimate moments." Also, if there are women who have a crush on or feelings towards your significant other, a hug would certainly be inappropriate because that the person with the feelings is attempting to use a hug as a means of control and getting closer to that person, usually. It sends wildly mixed signals, and can lead to future issues as boundaries slowly get crossed.
    
    There are definitely ways that two people can share hugs without offending a spouse or significant other. And more importantly, if there is discomfort for any reason, always communicate with your significant other.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       You are SO on target!  The situation, the degree of intimacy, the culture, the spouse are all reasons to keep it "in check" and make sure to keep the communication clear.  Thanks for commenting!

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11. 61

    Reinventing Rachposted 10 years ago

    A simple hug between a man and a woman is not a cause for concern. I believe a woman knows, prior to the exchange of this hug, if her man is under suspicion for doing something he should not do!

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I agree that she at least should know!  Thanks for commenting!

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       indy500livestreamposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       http://indy500livestream2015.com/

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12. 62

    Amit Garaiposted 10 years ago

    I think it is not a common matter.. . but as i have noticed since now.. no man hugs another women in front of his wife so tightly or closely if the relationship between the couple is not working out properly... Because if the relationship is really working out then there is no need to hug another woman in front of her which makes her embraced or sad .. It is the open challenge for the woman :"Please doubt me" or "go to hell!!"...

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       It can become a "chip" played in a gamble between partners!  Good point!  Thanks for commenting!

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13. 71

    Kratikaposted 10 years ago

    a hug and a kiss on the cheek is okay but if you do anything more than that, you are definitely crossing the line.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I agree.  Thanks for commenting!

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14. 68

    Biomedicalposted 10 years ago

    You can feel it. If you are the one hugged, you know. This is more true if the feeling is mutual.
    If your husband is hugging another, then I would watch for these signs:
    1. Focuses on hugging this woman in social events. Will seldom fail to hug her.
    2. Behavior toward this female differs from behavior toward other ladies.
    
    * One important caveat is this: Beware the influence of the enemy... getting into your head, creating false fears.
    
    However, if there is a question in your mind, you should 100% be against the two of them spending any time together alone.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I agree.  It would be easy for imagination to get carried away!  Thanks for answering!

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15. 66

    evancatposted 10 years ago

    When the question has to be raised if it is innapropriate or not.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       So true.  Thanks for commenting!

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16. 0

    Joshtheplumberposted 9 years ago

    The heart knows. Your heart always knows when you cross a line. But that little feeling of discomfort is all the consequence you need.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       It's true. The heart which cares does know. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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17. 50

    GizSleepposted 9 years ago

    Well background would certainly play a factor but if we're presuming it's just between two friends then I think a lingering hug could be perceived as inappropriate to a degree.  After all, a hug is a simple gesture but I consider it to be more "holding each other" than "hugging" after a few seconds - but a kiss on the cheek is acceptable when greeting, however the mouth seems slightly over the top.

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18. 48

    Angelesqposted 9 years ago

    This happened to me tonight. It lead to a huge blow out which may end my engagement. My fiancé myself & his mother were exiting a Ruby Tuesday nearby his hometown (we both live in NY) we were visiting for the holiday. On the way out he stops to hug a girl that is the hostess, did not introduce me, I do not know her only that I have seen her around a few times at the restaurant and think she went to his highschool. (10 years ago!)
    Well, I was upset, not as a point of jealousy or insecurity but as a sign of disrespect and lack of honor. I feel that 5 weeks before our wedding he should be preparing to act as a married man and represent to the world our commitment. Hugging strange women by married men is really quite disrespectful in my opinion. I feel society has gone so far to blur lines that good people are relying on bad ideas and behaviors of others to justify their own actions. I think my fiancé really was disrespectful to me tonight. Particularly bc he was not apologetic once he knew it upset me and he even led things to a huge argument in front of his family. He was going on about not trusting him when this has very little to do with trust and everything to do with respect. I read some of these posts out loud to him but he just insists they are all written by "women" who are scorned. I think this is a pretty clear mistake and he should have apologized but that is not what happened. I was pretty angry when this happened. I found it incredibly bizzare & I do not know why on earth he needed to hug this girl. Ultimately I think a husband shouldn't really hug someone his wife wouldn't hug. Keep hugs reserved for very close friends and family and provide handshakes for acquaintances. People over emphasize so much that trust is in place so your partner doesn't have sex with someone else, but I don't think the line should be drawn at that point!! I really think women should be comfortable to set boundaries regarding respect and associated acts of respect that surpass just the "but nothing happened" school of thought. Are we not worth more? I feel slighted & because of the resulting fight my relationship may be over and our wedding may not even happen. Where has the notion of respect and honor gone? He should have introduced me as his future wife not wrapped his arms around some woman I do not know. #sad #offended #cantsleep

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    1. 51

       frumpletonposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Maybe I am meaner than you are.  You ever heard of fight fire with fire?  Well, how about hugging and kissing one of HIS friends in front of him?  I'll bet he won't like that, much.

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       Nudelyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       He shuld've behavd betr, BUT, don't dump him. Hug YOUR ex- boyfrnz, etc. Not as paybk, but becuz all pepl shuld hug all pepl. A woman @ my wrk touchz me constantly. I like. Its a sign of intimcy, but we don't hv designs on ea other. Don't b insecure!

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19. 0

    janikonposted 9 years ago

    I think it all depends on the situation and the people involved. There are friends of mine whom I feel comfortable hugging and some I do not and would not even think of touching them.
    
    Personally if I don't know the person and we are meeting for the first time I would prefer they do not hug me but if I'm saying hello/goodbye to a friend I don't think it's wrong if I hug them (as long as they are comfortable with it)
    
    I think it becomes more than a hug when someone becomes uncomfortable with it.

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20. 81

    Rachel L Albaposted 9 years ago

    When it lasts for more then 5 seconds. lol Also if there is touching in other parts of the body.

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21. 82

    prettynutjob30posted 9 years ago

    Anything long, or too close, is not something I would want my husband to do. I definitely wouldn't go for him kissing another woman on the cheek, except for a family member.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       I am that way as well!  Thanks for reading and responding!

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22. 67

    CARIBQUEENposted 9 years ago

    A hug is not a hug when it becomes uncomfortable and you need some distance between both parties

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       It truly is different when in creates discomfort in your relationship.  Thanks for reading and commenting!

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23. 61

    vipinbehariposted 9 years ago

    I think there is no line as such, nor any onlooker, may be a spouse, has any right to draw a line or raise  a brow to determine the duration, intimacy, back pat, or whether it should be followed by kiss or hand shake. It  is entirely the prerogative of two persons who have an urge to hug. It is spontaneous act and done reflexively mostly without prior contemplation.
    As a ambassador of Couch Surfing I have hosted about 500 travellers from all over World. Believe me, it is a very natural act, and let it be so, lest next time I would be conscious about all the statistics brought up here.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       I find it interesting that precluding even a spouse from a determination of appropriateness of intimacy seems to be acceptable to you or anyone for that matter. Freedom for intimacy with anyone....does not define a committed marriage.

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       Nudelyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Ultimately, even in the smallest measures, we need to get from life the best it has to offer. Sometimes there's reward in self restraint. Other times a gesture deemed over-the-line by one, may be just the amount of comfort required for the 3rd party.

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24. 61

    betty janet davisposted 9 years ago

    Most of us can sense when a gesture of affection makes us feel uncomfortable; a prolonged hug, a lingering kiss, especially on the mouth, seem more romantic than general.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       It is true that most have learned the social norm for the level of appropriateness.  Some have not learned, sad to say!  Thanks for reading and responding!

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25. 71

    choosetoliveposted 9 years ago

    In India, except the wife or mother or sister we never hug any other woman. I believe it depends on different culture followed in respective countries.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Many cultures do accept many levels of "hugging", however, I find that respecting the relationship brings in its own level of appropriateness of any type of touch.  Thanks for reading and commenting!

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26. 54

    Mian Mohsanposted 9 years ago

    if they are lovers so they can hug , but islam do not allow these activites..

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Christians would not condone it either.  Lovers should reserve this level of intimacy for private as well. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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27. 81

    the rawspiritposted 9 years ago

    Depends on the relationship of the two people hugging. But more important the husband should always know what kind of hug may cause his wife pain if he should give that type of hug to another woman. If he loves his wife or girlfriend he will make sure he does not hug another woman in any way the offend his wife or girlfriend. Ok... Blessings, Bobby

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       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Bobby, the key to it all is, in fact, knowing your mate and protecting that relationship. Thanks for commenting!

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       the rawspiritposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks, Debbie, it was a hard lesson for me. I was not as wise as a young man, and I unintentionally injured my wife. The unintentional part does not matter. I agree with you wholeheartedly "PROTECT THAT RELATIONSHIP", Blessings

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28. 78

    Shyron E Shenkoposted 9 years ago

    I hug a lot of people men and women, if I like them. And if I were attracted to a man other than my husband, I would not hug that man for fear that my feelings would show.

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29. 68

    jdivirtualposted 9 years ago

    ....when it lasts just a bit too long, and if either person's hands begin to wander into places they shouldn't be.

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       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Wandering hand definitely qualify as overstepping the line. Thanks for responding!

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30. 84

    passionatelearnrposted 9 years ago

    even Just ''hugging'' is getting over the line.I'm against so called friendly hugging,kissing or touching, between a man and a woman.men think sexually almost about every woman.

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       Thief12posted 9 years agoin reply to this

       And if I were to go with that premise, will hugging/not hugging change that?

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    2. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Some men and some women are in fact that sexually focused. On the other hand, some CAN respect the opposite sex enough to keep it platonic.  Thief12 has a point, will the act of hugging change that? I think not.

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31. 59

    BirminghamVoiceposted 9 years ago

    I believe a casual 'hug' with just a lean in hug or side hug which many co-workers do is fine. but when it gets to the point when its constant or very intimater ways of hugging like a couple would do, then that's when i think there is trouble.

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       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Agreed! It is possible to keep it appropriate!  Thanks for reading and responding!

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32. 60

    Divakar Pposted 9 years ago

    HI
    
        It definitely depends on multiple factors .
    
    1. Attitude of the wife and Husband : If the wife is comfortable then even a prolonged hug , a kiss on cheek doesn't matter. But a kiss on neck or on lips , I think is crossing the line.
    
    2. Cultural background of the wife :   If in her culture a light hug or a prolonged hug is acceptable then it's fine . But in certain culture even touching of hands or handshake is prohibited.
    
    3. The relationship between the man and woman hugging .
    
    4. Age of the woman or the man :   A old guy hugging or small girl for long time even a kiss on cheek is not crossing the line.

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    1. 74

       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Good points!  Thanks for reading and responding!

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33. 79

    funsoaregbesolaposted 9 years ago

    Hugging another woman is alright if not done in the presence of the wife. and if it illicits no erotic entanglements. Different strokes for different folks but i don't think that a wife would agree that her husband should hug another woman in her presence except the said woman is the man's close relative. A simple hug can sometimes be the beginning of an amorous affair. So why encourage it.

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    1. 69

       IslandBitesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       So, something that can be "the beginning of an amorous affair" should only be done when the wife is not there? LOL
       
       Btw, you're wrong. I'm a wife and I have no problem with my husband hugging another woman, even if she's not a close relative.

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    iggy7117posted 9 years ago

    I have female friends I hug, the hug can be friends if it is a decent time and does not involve romantic touches.
    
    When it becomes wrong is when you hug too long or in a sexual way, by rubbing, caressing, or even kissing. A quick hug is OK and a longer close or tight hug can cross the line from friends to more.

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35. 69

    Oscarlitesposted 9 years ago

    in danger of too many answers here, i dare assert the question, who is going to stop you from what you are comfortable with? who cares so much about you that they are offended by your care of another?   1) Ok, I see.. then it depends on your position and your relationship. it depends on a lot of things. I guess we all know what is appropriate and what isn't.  life is too short to not care however. and friendships are sometimes too scarce too not care. and what if that's the last person you or them will ever embrace? i guess I'm saying that 2) each moment of life is precious and each hug and kiss is precious and each person is precious. and moment by moment we either love or pass. we either care or forfeit. security of relationship is inside you, it either allows the other person to be himself or herself, or it closes a trap of control. be large and be trusting. if that person is so shallow, or distrustful, well, better off without them. now 3) if you have ever lost someone you love, then you begin to realize the value of your own actions. but if you show all your love for them, and they do not reciprocate, then they are better elsewhere. if in the end you are left alone with no one to love, then maybe its because you did not hug or properly show affection when you were the one that had the chance. remember though a bird that's squeezed too tightly is not one that soon comes back to your hand. in conclusion, society does seem to have its rules.  cultures do have rules, also age appropriateness does have a part, but life should allow just a simple caring gesture whether someone else understands it or not: it can possibly be all that the other person needs at that moment to know they are valuable, perhaps it will give them a bit of confidence in themselves. especially if you know that the other person is going through a trial or hardship., show them you care. too many times people are too stiff and too formal to allow simple gestures. but 4) conclusion again, the specific answer to Debbie Care's question; why is a man even hugging a woman who isn't his wife?  - hmm.  well, a woman is naturally going to run down the list, lets see, mother? no, Sister? no. then she is going to ask "Just who is this woman you are hugging so freely???    sorry boys its just human nature for your wife to do this.  so you better have a really good answer!

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       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Many great points, but my favorite is the last...a wife's human nature needs only a good answer.  Thanks for reading and responding!

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    erorantesposted 9 years ago

    I like your question about the hug. I received hugs every day from men, women and children when I give a good service. It is so amazing. I feel good. I get so much love. Some people have a great attitude. When a men hugs a women in different circumstances, and there is a declaration of attraction or love and feelings; it is different. A hug without a proposition; it is a gratitude for something good. We did. At church, brother and sister hug for peace among our selves during mass. Some people show affection in different ways. I will ask if I start feeling butterflies. Who ever is hugging me at the time. What are you hugging me.? Some cultures hug and kiss fast and the affection is not too long. It is just a salute or a memorable end.

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       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Ana Maria,
          Thanks for reading and responding.  It should be okay to give and receive hugs ALL the time.  Sadly there is sometimes an "agenda" behind them!  Cultural mores often play a large role in the interpretaion of the intent!  Great comment

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    mark kengaposted 9 years ago

    It depends on how they feel.they should be clear with each other concerning their boundaries.failure to which that's when things become more intimate,confusing and dangerous

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       prektjr.dcposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Keeping open communication is vital in any relationship! Thanks for reading and commenting!

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    jerrycarmanposted 9 years ago

    You should never hug a person who is not your relitive!

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       IslandBitesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       LOL

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    thiruselvamkposted 9 years ago

    With or without wife in presence, a hug as in the public environment is for that person closest to you as a relative, or as someone you would care for or appreciated relationship for a long time. Prolonged hug is as for as missed one for a lengthy time. Hugs can be such and sincerely done with no "sexual" intend or innuendos. We do not get hugged or choose to hug all the time.and every time and occasion. Hug is a greet.... just a bit more personalised for that warmth of meeting again. To be "more than a hug", that moment of contact and the method of "parting" will reveal. In addition, the continued lingering in touch, the hold, the eye to eye meet and the facial glow or the type of kiss will reveal.

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    Alexis Cogwellposted 9 years ago

    I would say that if the hug lasts longer than five or ten seconds without either of you being under the influence our in distress (death of a family member, loss of a job, etc), it probably goes further than friendship.

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    roselinsojanposted 8 years ago

    Hug, it depends on each ones cultural background.

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    realtalk247posted 8 years ago

    In those situations, less is more. Rule of thumb, don't do anything when greeting others that you wouldn't want your mate to do. Appropriate behavior also depends on the sensitivity of your mate. A hug is one thing, a rub down feel her up is another. Be respectful.

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       prektjr.dcposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Respect is truly a key element in a relationship!  Thanks for commenting!

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    Manjunath7472posted 8 years ago

    Nothing is wrong until a third person's perspective.
    
    If you see...here the third person who is judging those two people hugging is inappropriate.
    
    It depends on community your in and their mindset.If you in community where hug is not allowed you should follow their rules.You can't go on explaining people of community that Hug between man and women is appropriate.
    
    If your community not allowing and you don't like.. Settle in Paris.

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    Chanson Intrepideposted 8 years ago

    I think it depends upon how the couple (and to some degree the third person) define it.
    
    Marriages have three parties, two being each of the couple and the third is the relationship. For example, you're buying a car. One person wants this model, the other wants that model, so negotiations begin.
    
    In my marriage is a third opinion to consider; what does the relationship need? One "likes" sporty, one "wants" a grocery getter, but the real question should be "What best serves the marriage?" Maybe neither.
    
    So, back to the hug. They should already know what their relationship boundaries are. If he knows his wife is a little insecure, for example, and it's a beautiful ex, then it's a no brainer. Why would a man who adores his wife make her uncomfortable? If, on the other hand, this woman is his sister, then a hug and a kiss on both cheeks isn't likely to bother anyone. But let's say it does bother the wife. Let's say it's an unhealthy, sick kind of bothered. It's still his consideration for his wife's feelings that should matter.
    
    My marriage. Thirty three years. No history of infidelity. I'm outgoing and gregarious, a bit eccentric and certainly affectionate. My husband wouldn't bat an eye if I hugged a mutual friend, put both hands to his face and kissed him quick on the mouth, the same thing I do with my grown son.
    
    He is reserved. He hugs my friends in times of trouble or after a long absence. At the recent funeral of a close friend's son, he held her and stroked her hair. They both cried.
    
    Neither of these instances would bother either of us. The circumstances of others' marriages are different, but anything that hurts the relationship is off limits, so if my quick kiss of the friend embarrassed my husband, it's his responsibility to take me aside and say so and it would be mine to never let it happen again. In our marriage, it wouldn't matter why. I just respect his comfort, his feelings and our marriage.
    
    In the choosing of a home one thing I wanted was too expensive. Bad for the marriage. His pick would prevent private workspaces. Bad for our marriage. Our final choice favored our top, pre agreed need ~ a beautiful room that gave us a great setting for our "common time", where we watch movies, relax, entertain, read and share our day.
    
    So, couples need to decide ahead of time what their relationship needs, set the limits and let that be their guide.
    
    You may not get your personal choice every time, but the marriage wins.

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    Evaneposted 8 years ago

    It's through their eyes. The eyes is the window of everything. Whenever they  hug, do not just look at their actions, but mind most what their eyes say for each other.

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    Nudelyposted 8 years ago

    For the last 60 centuries, or so, our tree of civility has been rooted in the soil of paternalism and misogyny. From this malnutritious  physical and emotional substrate were the world's religions spawned. They only thrived via a long history of extortion, torture, and inquisition. Religion argued both sides of slavery during the American Civil War. Religion still lies at the heart of two pernicious extremes: White Supremacy as well as Black "Liberation" theology (not to mention one mainstream religion's belief in jihad!) Today, overly pious, plastic faced televangelists and church clergy still suck the money out of credulous American's bank accounts and give them precious little in return. These are the shysters that we allow to tell us what is and isn't moral?!
    
    What is needed today is a complete reboot of how we raise our children, how we view ourselves and therefore how we comport ourselves. If we are to build a better future we need to become more integrated, not more isolated. We need more touching and more intimacy. Put another way, do you think that the culprits of school and church house massacres that the USA has endured starting with Columbine could have used more intimacy growing up and throughout their lives? Would that have been a good thing? Were they deranged because they were pampered and mollycoddled, or were most of these your outcast, loner types?
    
    In my Hub posts you will see I favor a clothing-optional society. Certainly wear them when necessary or when they provide more comfort than when "sunning it," but don't feel compelled to wear them around the clock. I want you to let your friends know you no longer feel unnecessarily inhibited and plan on changing your at-home apparel habits and why. Make an effort to touch more people for longer periods of time. Urge all levels of your government to repeal indecent exposure laws! Don't "flinch" when somebody accidentally touches you. Cup people's hand when they are making change for you. Wear short sleeves and shorts more often, and then make use of the change! Encourage others to be huggers, touchers and yes, even kissers! If anyone reading this has been put off by same-sex hugging or touching, get over it. It is little more than ungrounded paranoia at work. Let's make it a new maxim:
    
    "Touch unto others as you would have them touch unto you."

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    adityasingh58posted 8 years ago

    It depends person to person and what he/she is thinking about the other person..
    
    
    I will say think positive

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    frumpletonposted 8 years ago

    I think it mostly boils down to how much you trust the person who is not your husband.  Does she have ulterior motives, or is she just a kind of bubbly type of person who hugs and kisses everyone?  Still, the neck kissing is going too far, as well as the corner of the mouth, in my opinion.  It is showing a lack of thoughtfulness on this other woman's judgement.  Maybe she just grew up in a touchy feely home.  But I think the husband should back away when the kissing leaves the cheek.

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    mts1098posted 8 years ago

    Interesting...My opinion is that a hug is no longer a hug when one person has thoughts of going further than the hug...

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    alaknathposted 8 years ago

    http://exlovebackmantras.com/get-ex-lov … -break-up/

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