Do you think fantasizing is good or bad for a relationship?

1. 96

   peeplesposted 12 years ago

   Do you think fantasizing is good or bad for a relationship?

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2. 74

   SidKempposted 12 years ago

   There are many forms of fantasizing which my wife and I have found healthy for our relationship. Fantasizing together can be exciting, and can show us how far we do, and don't, want to go in new directions. Fantasizing separately can fulfill individual desires without breaking marital agreements or vows.
   
   What matters, I think, is to do it consciously. If the fantasy takes control of mind and life, that leads to addiction and perhaps to harmful action.

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3. 61

   IDONOposted 12 years ago

   I think it's Okay to fantasize as long as you keep those fantasies to yourself.  Relationships have enough real difficult issues to overcome. Adding make-believe issues to that wouldn't be too smart.

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4. 85

   jansharesposted 12 years ago

   I think fantasizing is normal in a relationship, not good or bad. Acting on it with someone other than your partner can cause the problem, whether that be another person or computer.

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5. 56

   abbykorinneleeposted 12 years ago

   It's good if shared with your partner but can be unhealthy if it is hidden and you look elsewhere to have the fantasy fulfilled.

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6. 62

   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   Maybe this is just because I'm a woman - or just because I'm me; but I'm not a big fan of fantasizing.  It isn't in my nature.  From what I've read it's apparently healthy enough for some people in some relationships.  To me, if something isn't real it doesn't count, and I don't want to be bothered with it.  I don't know...    To me, if people have their own, individual, fantasies it's their own business.  I'm not sure, though, that trying to bring someone else who has his/her own fantasies (or none) into one's personal fantasy is particularly the greatest thing.  Of course, again, some people/couples are more fantasy-friendly/inclined than others.  So, I don't think there's one rule about this that's going to apply to everyone.

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   1. 74

      SidKempposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I've heard it's generally true that women fantasize less than men. But I've also seen that women, while less inclined to create fantasy, may be equally glad to participate in it as a couples activity once it gets going.

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7. 96

   peeplesposted 12 years ago

   So since I asked I will put my 2 cents in. I think it is healthy. I think it's a very good thing for a long term committed relationship as long as it is being talked about with the other partner. I decided to write this question because of a woman complaining on reddit about how it bothered her that her husband told her she should have a "Hollywood Would Do List". Thanks for the answers!

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8. 69

   CrescentSkiesposted 12 years ago

   Well if you try and fulfill your fantasies with other people it's naturally going to be bad for your relationship. If you tell your partner about your fantasies you may be pleasantly surprised to find that they're aroused by something similar (in which case you have many interesting nights to look forward to).

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9. 61

   nightwork4posted 12 years ago

   within reasoning, i think it's a good thing. when it gets to the point that fantasizing is the only way you can enjoy yourself, a person should rethink about who they are with. like many things, there is a fine line between something being good and something being unhealthy.

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   1. 0

      CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wow. Mark this on your calendar, because this is exactly the second time I find myself agreeing with you. :0)

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   2. 61

      nightwork4posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      damn, i new i said the wrong thing. my brain must have been on slow.

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10. 60

    beverleejbposted 12 years ago

    It depends who is fantasizing!
    That would not be realistic.
    This is not for me
    I have never fantasized because I don't need too.

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11. 0

    CJ Sledgehammerposted 12 years ago

    I think many people are under the impression that fantasizing is benign, but it can lead to problems down the line, depending upon the nature of the fantasy, its endurance, and its frequency.
    
    In general, fantasies are an indication that something is missing or something in the relationship is going unfulfilled. Every now and then, one of the parties may fall deeper into "fantasy land" or begin to resent the other party for not being able to fulfill a particular fantasy or they are not willing to.
    
    The danger is when the fantasy starts to take on a life of its own. And, if the other party is not able to partake in the fantasy...the projector of the fantasy may find someone who can. In any regard, most fantasies, if left unchecked, can lead to dissatisfaction and alienation within the relationship. It becomes imperative, therefore, to be open and honest with your mate.

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