Change is inevitable. Everything is in a state of change, whether it is growth or decay. Our misery comes from our expectation that things will remain the same, and that nothing good will ever change.
All relationships, whatever their nature, evolve over time. Some fade away, while others grow stronger.
To avoid suffering, first embrace the idea that things will change. The nature of the change is up to you. If you want to continue in a relationship, whether it is love, friendship or work related, then you must bring about positive change.
Knowing that change will occur and accepting that fact allows us the freedom to flow with the natural evolution of our relationships.
Namaste
I think any kind of relationship can decay overtime. If you want your relationship to stay strong you need to work at it. When you have a friend move away and want to stay in touch, you make sure to call them and write when you can. So as in marriage, if you want to stay strong you need to continue to love, talk, and comfort.
There are too many circumstances and situations that are possible. It seems feelings can cease but also get stronger. It is up to the individuals to do their part to replenish their love so that your partner won't get tired of you.
I disagree with this. If someone is in a relationship, there is no way on earth that the feeling will fade. Feelings can't be changed unless there are others trying to make it change
I think it can be avoided but you have to recognize that we all change over time and learn to compensate for that. We can't give up on our relationships just because they are challenging. Learn to talk as well as listen this is the basis for healthy relationships. Sometimes emotions are different and passion leaves us but we have to realize that too and remember the commitment we made to that person especially if it's in our marriage.
No i do not believe this at all relationships are what you make of them. And if you & your partner both give and effort & never give up you guys will be fine!
It depends on the kind of bond the couple share. Distances never decay relationships if the love is true and pure.
Having just ended a friendship of fifteen years, due to discourtesy, rudeness, and ongoing judgement, I can say, unfortunately, that in some cases, relationships decay.
On the other hand I have another friend with whom I'm very close and have been for nearly thirty years. It is true that people seem to forget to say "Thank you," or "I appreciate that." As well, people can, without realizing, become critical in their thinking and approach to a longtime partner or friend.
I have a belief that in every relationship there is a door. The door opens and the relationship begins. However, either party can close the door at any time. What the "closer," rarely realizes, is that the other party can choose to lock the door. Trust, once violated, rarely returns. A critical word set resentment in motion. This bubbles and fulminates below the surface till eventually it either corrodes or explodes.
In your friendships and longtime partner, take time to think how something you say feels if it's said to you. Being critical of stupid things is an easy way to end a friendship or longtime partner. Communication and reconciliation are not optional, they are required if a relationship is to survive.
You have two choices in any longtime partner/friendship; Reconcile (accept without qualification, whatever), or (walk away.) You do not get to judge, criticize, or change. These simply do not work. If you fail to reconcile then one or both of you will eventually walk away.
traveller004
Of course the original excitement and feelings that bloom when the relationship first starts have a tendency to go down... The key is to do things that will reinforce those feelings and that excitement and keep it on the rise.
If they are TRUE relationships (so not the ones in which people start a relationship in order to "not be alone") and end it in a month), they can last forever.
And my parents are an example of a "permanent relationship"
Relationships do not decay; they grow toward or apart depending on their quality.
YES THEY DO ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR IS COMMUNICATION BREAK DOWN AND LACK OF TRANSPARENCY
What matters in every relationship is trust and fear.Fear of losing one another,fear of being broken/hurt
If relationship would decay naturally,most relationships would not last forever.We can see the examples of many old couples.
If there will be trust love and care in each other,I bet the relationships would last till the end of life or may be even after life.
What if every couples meet with each other like they are meeting for the first time?
What if they spend time with each other like there is no tomorrow?
What if they talk with each other like they are never gonna meet again.
Love should last till the eternal life.There should be equal understanding and care among the people like they would have in their first date.
Love is the most beautiful feeling of life.Even if we are far from the people we love,we never feel complete we miss them,we hope to see them soon.So never ever let go of them,Never cheat on anyone,never break the trust and the relationships wont decay...
yes i think it decay over time because time goes away with good or bad things
Yes and No.... it is totally dependent upon the individuals involved... it is work to stay "In Love" it doesn't STAY as easily as it first appears ... if you can always remember how precious they are to you...it doesn't have to ever decay!!!!!!
I'm newly married (I've been married for 6 months now) and I'm really fresh in the marriage thing. I think that each couple goes through different stages with each other. I don't necessarily think that relationships need to decay. Whether they "decay" or not is up to us. Just like a plant needs continuous nourishment, so do our relationships with others, especially our spouse. If we don't take the time to nourish it, it will die. Whatever stage of marriage we are at in our lives, we just need to start from where we are at and work from there. Even in you feel your marriage is decaying, you need to believe that there still is hope and you can make it grow and flourish again, it just takes time and hard work. I know I haven't been married that long yet, but I have already experienced how things can change and your relationship can, but just because it does, doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing. We are both learning and growing together. And that's the beauty of it. We will still make mistakes and we both are definitely not perfect, but that's okay. All we need to do is put forth effort. Even if you feel like your spouse isn't putting forth effort, at least you have control over yourself, and you can change.
I believe that naturally, people do fall out of love. I've heard that couples when they grow old, they just stay together as partners, no more intimacy. This can be true. But I have learned from one of my favorite authors and inspirational speakers, Bo Sanchez, that once you fall out of love inside marriage but you choose to love again your spouse, then that's true love! I feel that it's just a matter of choosing to love your other half no matter what. Of course keeping God in the middle of a relationship really strengthens it all. Everything follows!
When you first fall in love with someone you get butterflies whenever they're around- you see them through rose-colored glasses.. but what happens when you're around them all the time?
Relationships aren't decaying, it's just familiarity. When you spend a lot of time with someone, eventually you get truly comfortable around them.
You're not going to get those butterflies every time they walk by anymore, because you'll live together.
You're not going to think their farts are cute because you smell them everyday.
It's not that they're falling out of love, it's just that they don't feel the initial excitement and curiosity because it faded to comfort and after a certain point, you'll know more than you could have imagined about that person.
how should I put this i believe yes but it can also go either way for if you do not take care of it or you are just a plain good for nothing then it will run out or decay,,, Another thing is and this happens a lot admit it or not some can just change out of the blue for even the littlest excuse out there I know it happened to me...
But there is also the NO side and two variables support it true love and yes it maybe corny but true or the thing called Destiny where if it is meant for you the universe will bring him or her back i
obviously, if not give enough time to the relationship and enrich the connection between love and lovers.
We can't say that relationship decays as the time passes .Yes it happens if one the person get attract to other prospects of nature we can say it fame money or any thing else creats more importance than the person staying with him...
Human nature is unbelievable everybody has is own ego an his attitude if by some small misunderstandings if that ego gets hurt than ofcuse that person attitude will change towards one another
Have you ever heard a married man getting divorced at the age of 70 I think it would b rare case because that stage of life is when man or woman have completed almost all there responsibility and if after being understanding each other for every path of life they wil never think of get away for the little time left with them
Ever human needs care and affection and the person starts behaving differently if one of them changes his or her attitude so to keep a relationship constant n long lasting the first quality of understanding should b there in both of them second quanlity should be trust if both of them trust each other they don't have think nothing xtra from his normal routine relationship and the last but not the least quality is love if they really love each other nothing can decay there feelings
I have been in relationship for past 9 years and finally this year I got married it's all bcoz she n me both understand each other very well I completely trust her in terms of everything and last lastly the more the years passed the more we started loving each other in every stage I came to know about her new quality new behaviour and it's same in her case tooo an we both started seeing something different in others nature and after this alll I can say
I WAS LOVING HER, I AM LOVING HER AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER MY CUTE SWEET MAAU Sneha Amruth Prabhu love you lot
The standard answer to this, and one which I've heard time and time again, is that in order to make a long-term relationship work you've got to 'work at it'. Personally, I don't like the idea of 'working at it', even if that is just an unfortunate choice of terminology. I associate the word 'work' with something which I don't necessarily want to do; something which I only do because I have to and in fact something which I sometimes hate having to do. Why should part of being in a relationship involve something as unpleasant as work? I believe that if a relationship is 'right' and if you're with the 'right' person, there shouldn't need to be a conscious effort made to nurture it.
However I also believe that the chances of two people, who are seemingly well-matched, remaining ideal partners for each other long-term are extremely slim. I'll admit that, being eleven years into my second marriage, I may be guilty of a certain level of cynicism, but I believe that almost all people change dramatically during their adult lives (and particularly during their middle-aged years), and the chances of two people going through these changes and remaining as compatible as they once were are simply not great at all.
Whether or not a relationship can survive these changes comes down to how much each person is willing to compromise (and maybe even sacrifice) within their own lives in order to stay with the other person. Many people will stay and simply go through the motions of an all-but-empty relationship; fear or lack of financial independence forcing them to stay. For others, the level of compromise will become too great, out-weighing their desire to stay with the other person. For those who make it work successfully for decades on end, I can only assume, there is a fair amount of that dreaded 'work' required to maintain the relationship. I imagine that almost every person wonders what it would be like to leave at some stage of their lives, even if they never do.
So yes, I do believe that relationships tend to decay over time, and that this decay is caused by the natural changes felt within the two people and the effects that those changes have on them. My belief is that the idea of humans being partners for life, as romantic as it all seems, is actually going against the basic human instincts which are bred into us all.
Love, care, respect and trust are three things which are important. if one is missing ...it will decay. time does not matter.
Yes, relationships have a tendency to decay, but a tendency is not an absolute. The longevity and vitality of a relationship depends on the people and their circumstances, not just that they're in love. One of the most common factors contributing to the death of a relationship is the differences in the interests of the people involved. The second I suspect is the absence healthy communication.
One partner might be satisfied with the status quo and monotony of the relationship and simply choose to bail water out of the boat instead of getting a new boat. Some times folk grow away from the relationship because they develop interests or ways of thinking that aren't in sync with their partner's. Five years in, one is a television couch potato and the other wants to socialize, go out dancing and travel. One loves and needs highly energized sex, for the other sex is it's over rated.
Communication is paramount to the good health of a relationship. People either don't say anything about their feelings of discontent or negatively frame them by complaining and blaming rather than making their thoughts and feelings known to one another in an intentional and respectful way. The will and desire to be receptive to listening to things that are hard to hear, accept or understand must be present to grow and maintain a relationship.
One should never be an emotional hostage in a relationship because of a commitment they had anticipated being able to keep. Circumstances change and people change. Those changes are not always positive. Sometimes one has to honor one's self by leaving
"I just don't love you anymore" is probably the cruelest of all of the relationship killers. More than a few of us have said it to someone or had it said to us. The notion of being in love with someone and being with them "forever" is at its best romantic and at its worst delusional.
I have always applauded and admired friends who have remained genuinely in love and satisfied in their decades-old relationship, and sadly amused by those who've miserably remained together. I will never understand their unwillingness to leave because of the fear of loss of possessions and money. It is troubling to listen to their disrespectful comments about each other framed as jokes, and watching them silently long for the other partner to just go.
If the relationship is valued by both, the mutual desire to do the work must be there.
Hi I was previously married to my high school sweet Heart in school I thought he was the one for me. I'm making the story sort as I did alot of stupid this as I was growing up. Anyways I fell pregnant in 2009 got married in 2010 after baby was born my wedding was beautiful but beep down I knew it was not the best timing. Moved intogether and we'll thing just did not work out I woke up and smelt the poop at the end of my bed and relased that this is just not for me. We were having a really hard time getting use to eachother bad habits and so he had alot of them and just got worse over the year and my little girl was going thou it with me so I made my decision to move on and find what is real love. I met a guy that was even worse than my ex husband and fell pregnant with my son. I had a friend that I was leaning on thou it all and my son's dad was abusive. My friend asked me if I wanted to get away from it all and come meet his mom and I agree. We then soon got engaged and he treated my daughter like she was his own he told all his friends that both babies are his and we ended up staying with his mom and then got our own place and till today I have the most wonderful relationship with my best friend in the world and every day I feel that same way you feel when you so excited to see or do something naughty with him I love him to the moon and back he has made my kids so happy and I'm happy that they have a father that will be around and be by there side every step of the way they key to a good relationship is to respect each other even if they have bad habits it's just the way you fell in love the first time it should not make a input on the way you love each other
Falling in love, marrying and staying with your partner forever: is that possible, or relationships are destined to decay over time? read more
Honestly, I believe that every relationship goes through a point in time where it becomes weaker, and yes some feelings may start to fade, but I wouldn't say that they cease. After being with someone for so long, you start questioning things, "Do I really love him/her, or am I just used to this routine of me having them around?". "Is this really worth me being here?". But when you do start questioning it, you need to also ask yourself, "Can i picture myself, or my partner with anyone else?" and "Is this how I want to live the rest of my life?". I personally think that people now in days are too easy to give up on relationships, they always think that the grass is greener on the other side, and maybe i am just old fashioned myself, but i think that if you (at any point) ever loved this person, that the love is still there, and you just need to revive it, but don't just let go because of the moment, because you might realize later on the mistake that you made in giving up. My advice would be to try new things with my partner, things that none of you have ever tried, go out to new places, none of this has to be super expensive mind you. And another piece of advice, do not compare your relationship to other peoples relationship, because that is another mistake that a lot of people make. I strongly believe that when you only love once (just my opinion). And that if you find yourself hopping from partner to partner, you haven't fallen in love yet.
Change is inevitable and healthy. I think it is very possible to stay in a relationship for life if you truly love each other. The problem is not the cooling down of a relationship, the problem is that we are becoming more and more a society of young people who do not appreciate or understand the beauty of delayed gratification. A fast food society that wants everything now, not later, not next week, but now. Relationships that plan, build, hope and dream together are in fact building resilience while communicating in a unique to that couple language. Only that couple will understand what it took to get to the other side of whatever it was that they went through to get the home they wanted, the car they saved for the longed for child. This I think is one part of relationships in today world that has changed. A young couple want the nice house, car, child that will fit into their live at the time that suits them, their jobs and not interfere with anything too much. Pressure from society is huge, much more so than our parents had to endure. Photos on social sites of their friends on yet another holiday, returning to the beautiful home, car and wife who is back to a size 10 two weeks after giving birth. All bull.. but the world we live in today.
Another thing about love is it is not until you see the worst in someone but love them anyway that you can know you truly love them. So yes relationships tend to cool down. You dont want to jump into bed every-time you see each other, you run out of things to say and sometimes will look at each other and wonder what you are doing together. But true love is rare and if you find it you are truly blessed. If you can except the imperfections and understand that these are what makes you and your partner perfect, if you can keep on the journey together and keep seeing the bigger picture, you will experience true joy. So to answer your question, yes relationships do have a natural tendency to become weak, of course they do. Anything that is worth it is difficult. It is not the tendency to become weak that is the problem, but the attitude to that weakness that is the problem. I am divorced☺ so I speak from experience. I also have been very much in love for the past ten years. We are not perfect, nor is our relationship, this is what makes it all perfect.
It can happen because it does happen. It happens because one or both people involved are not caring for the unity they have while being a couple. It can be avoided when you notice something is happening that is stale, negative, unwholesome or stagnant in the relationship. And it must be spoken about. But mind you there are times when one person is so closed and secretive that the other would not have ever known. In some cases the relationship decays because we meet at a young age and grow up with the person only to find out that we are not the same, or not the same enough to stay. I believe in loyalty and forever as that is how I see it. But not all cultures and countries or even people see it this way. And so you also need to believe in a forever type of love otherwise you will let it dry up and fade away.
I think too many people take from another (whether that is a romantic relationship, a plutonic one or a neighbourly one).
I believe a lot of couples get together for the wrong reasons to start, but if I may speak on those strong couples.... They tend to lose communication. A relationship is like a business. At first they are always planning for the future and taking account of each others feelings because everything is so new. Then suddenly it all goes on "auto pilot". That is the wrong move. Just like any business you have to keep planning and taking account of the current situation. Check in often and have those important conversations. It keeps the fire going. The fire starts to go out when you think your partner doesn't care how you're feeling. Often times this happens subconsciously. You aren't directly aware of what's going on but just know that somethings different or you feel less attracted. That's because all the care and attention you had in the beginning has come to a stop and are now just going through the motions. It also explains why some are turned on by that new coworker that is all of sudden giving them attention. They aren't getting it at home. For most it's hard to take that answer but it's the truth!
I believe that if you talk anything can be resolved in a relationship. Whether it be feelings for one other or interest in eachother. Talking is the way forward in any relationship. If you can be totally honest with each other and respect what each other want the fire can be kept alight. I have been married to my hubby for 35 years and we have experienced many emotions along the way, our relationship is built on trust and honesty, and, we talk. We are as much in love today as we were all those years ago. Relationship decay in my mindset is due to not working together to get it right and yes with time and patience and talking things through it definitely can be avoided.
I hope I'm not late to this, but no, relationships don't necessarily "decay" or change to the worse.
A relationship is like the life of a human being. It starts playful and full of joy, then matures and becomes wise. When love becomes involved, so does responsabilities and commitments.
Most relationships fail in the long run because they don't relatise those facts and think that they lost their touch.
Only because people get lazy and complacent, forgetting to stay in tune with their relationship while also keeping things exciting. It's about understanding that like trees people will grow, change and evolve and it is important to enjoy that about each other and hold hands and grow together.
The one thing all entities and institutions share is decay. There can be renewal and repair. But both parties must be interested in a positive outcome.
The reason the decay and failure seems so much more prevalent today is because society has given itself permission (acceptance of divorce) to easily dissolve relationships. I don't like the trend, but I wouldn't recommend staying in an empty relationship.
I agree wholeheartedly Matt ... why stay in something empty
If you married the right person the first time your marriage will not decay but get better and better. Relationship do not decay if you marry the right person the time for the right reasons. Try reading the Bible and praying together . That will help.
Yes if the couple aren't best friends, and if the relationship became tainted by sexual immorality. It can definitely decay if both are not willing to make it work by positive daily actions.
In any relationship what we put in is what we get. You put in love, care, understanding, that's what you receive back. You put in hate, fights, neglect, n that's what you get
I am of the opinion that relationships strengthen with time. With time, both the partners mature. The communication gap increases and the differences are solved without much fuss. The love and affection lasts forever even though both the partners don't express it physically. But deep down, in their heart they learn to overlook each others flaws.
No one in this universe is perfect. Partners tend to understand this feeling in the long run. The care for the soulmate increases and usually all differences end in a simple laugh.
Not always, some grow closer. There are couples that grow to know and respect more from years of healthy ambition, to make it work.
I don't think so that the relationship decays over time but infact this bond become strong and stronger over the time and if rarely it happens to be we must have to give some time to each other prior to make any hard decision.
i dont think so relationships doesent decay over time it only matters how u maintain releationships with the partners
Yes, most relationship can decay. I believe that when you treat your relationship "brand new" all the time, there is no room for decay. Continue making one another feel important, and feel special creates a longer lasting relationship.
Ooh. Great question. I feel like it depends on the relationship. I've personally never been in a really long term relationship. But I've witnessed both sides of this, with the stronger side being the one where the relationship sort of wanes out over time, and a few times where it grew stronger. It almost seems like people just get tired of one another, but it's like how is that possible if you once were so into one another....Life....
That is a false assumption. What is true is that too many people today have a tendency to give up on things, including relationships, if it requires work and compromise. We look for someone else to have the answers, plus we blame others for our ills.
If you disagree, think just for a moment how many people look for easy answers for weight problems, impotency, etc. We expect a pill to cure most everything. We blame fast food restaurants and food manufacturers for our ill health.
In regards to relationships, you cannot expect people to change once you get married (and that happens a lot), and yet you must realize that we all change as years go by. Our looks change, our preferences for food and material goods, our health changes, and so forth. Real love comes when you accept that these changes will occur, even in you, but the underlying reasons you fell in love in the first place with a person still exist. Look deep, past the surface, and you will see it.
I wanna answer this question with a quick illustration...
Have you ever planted a flower? No, not asking a bunch of plantations, etc, but just a small pot of flower. Just one flower. If you don't have one, then buy one, replant it, put it somewhere near you where you can see it most of the day. What do you wanna do with the flower to grow? Obviously, you have to water it, take it out for a sun, probably till it's surrounding to aerate, pull out some small weeds... and do the same thing all over again.
Now after a months, or probably a year, when it is bloomingly well, try slowly cutting down all those routines, and you will notice, slowly, it will die and die and die.
My point:
I don't know about you, but for me, I take relationship seriously. You are taking another's life as your own and you are responsible for it. And the responsibilities doesn't come easy. Just like how planted it, the same as what you need to sacrifice - the time, the effort - all that you invested, same as relationships. You put something inside "the box" in order to get something out of it sooner or later.
I do not believe in "falling out of love", but I do believe in "falling out of romance"... if anyone who is reading this now and is experiencing some trouble on their relationships or marriages, try to gauge yourself and ask a question - "Do I still love and care for this person OR do I just miss how this person makes me feel like how i felt before?"
Love can stretch forth beyond the imperfection of a person but romance fuels it. If the relationship didnt turned out the way you expect it to be, should you leave then? Do you really think that's the right thing to do? Well, that might be the answer for you, but again, not for me.... I am not going over someone else's fence because their grass is greener; I'd rather till my own ground and make it greener.
So the question.. does relationship decay naturally overtime?
Here's my answer: Yes, if one do not "man" up to take care of it.
Can it be avoided?
Absolutely! Simply till the soil...
Anything that is not invested in decays over time. Relationships need to be updated and invested in to flourish.....not all will survive but the chances are much better if the couple BOTH invest in the relationship.
There really is no 'one size fits all' answer to this, because everyone is different and handles relationships in different ways.
But, I will say that I think a danger that occurs is that we are bombarded with romantic images of how relationships SHOULD be, and we forget what is more realistic. I do not believe relationships just generally 'decay' over time. I DO think they start to feel more normal, and indefinite, which takes the edge off and some excitement goes with it. That's when it can be very dangerous for even the best and strongest relationships to survive - not because it's becoming normal to be together, but because people forget that doesn't mean the love is gone.
I think there is the dating phase of a relationship, where everything is about potentials and excitement, and you are still in many respects getting to know one another and falling "in love". Then there is the phase where, if you stay together for a very long time or commit to a life together, you begin feeling like family to one another. In my opinion, this is the best kind of love because it is much stronger and deeper to view someone as family who was not originally related to you. To me it is romantic to find your home with someone like this, and maybe even start your OWN family.
But of course that leads to things being a little less romantic at times. You drop your guard and can be your WHOLE self with that person, without always trying to impress them. It's an amazing thing, but requires work to recognize that it's a natural progression - not a sign that things aren't working out anymore.
The problem with our society today is that we confuse emotions of infatuation and lust with love. Love is a commitment and if a relationship is based on love, it will never decay.
Emotions fade and relationships founded on such die sooner or later. It does not matter what one of the partners does to keep the relationship going, if was not founded on a commitment to go through it through thin and thick, his or her works are all in vain.
Commitment protects a relationship against the allure of choices. Partners in a relationship who have other partners out there will never have a stable and lasting relationship. Minor conflicts will be blown out of proportion which end up destroying the relationship.
If partners in a relationship have one foot in it and the other one out of the relationship, even trivial issues are likely to wreck havoc to the relationship.
A relationship founded on emotions is akin to placing hot oil on a cold pan,while the one based on commitment is like placing a chunk of cold fat on a hot pan.
Hi Ephraim, you're absolutely right. Nowadays most relationships are based on lust, and that's a problem. Pure love is kinda rare these days.
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