Does it help a marriage?

1. 82

   Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

   To be honest, i have never met a successful married couple with a prenuptial agreement, so i thought i'd ask you all if you guys agree with it.  Is a prenuptial agreement necessary when you marry, or not.  Please discuss. 

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      The only reason for a prenup' is with regards to anything of value.

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         Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         and if you think maybe it wont last.

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      china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      If marriage is about money, position and social standing then it is essential.

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   3. 88

      Marisa Wrightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      These days, if there's a big difference in the wealth the couple brings to the marriage, then it's essential. Let's face it, the odds are the marriage won't last forever, and a divorce without a prenup is a horrible experience.
      
      Anyone who says "oh but our love is going to last forever" has their head in the clouds, and probably isn't mature enough to get married yet.  Some marriages do last forever - but trust me, it's almost impossible to predict which ones, no matter how in love you are at the start.
      
      If the couple are pretty equal in assets, it's not really worth it.
      
      As for helping a marriage - no, it makes no difference to the success or failure of the marriage. It's only of value if it fails.  Although having a prenup forces the couple to talk about money before they get hitched, which means it's less likely to cause friction later on.

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         Iðunnposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         tend to agree.

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      Pani Midnyte Odinposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Honestly, even though I have practically nothing of any value money-wise, I would want a prenuptial agreement. If I ever became wealthy, I wouldn't want my husband or anyone else to run away with half my money.

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      sneakorocksolidposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      We were married 35 years ago, we were 19, we had nothing. We slept on the floor of our apartment and used boxes as our dressers. A large wire wheel was our coffee table and a curb sofa was our couch. After we paid all our bills we had $20 a week left. The only agreement we wanted was we would eat daily.

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2. 82

   Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

   anyone else have anything to add?

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3. 66

   blondepoetposted 13 years ago

   I was engaged to this rich guy when I was 18 and his parents insisted that their son do a pre-nuptial. I was quite offended lol. I think it depends on the circumstances for sure.

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      mtsi1098posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I agree - I do not have one myself but it does depend on the situation

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      logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      So was it a deal breaker?

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4. 77

   starme77posted 13 years ago

   Do the Pre nump , ya never know these days , better to be safe than sorry

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5. 78

   H.C Porterposted 13 years ago

   I would like to say that there is no need for one because love lasts forever... But with common sense kicking in- divorce is a solution to an argument, or so it seams it is now a day. So.... I would think about what you would be getting it for (what would you be protecting with it) before determining to go ahead with one. If there is nothing to loose-there is nothing to gain by signing a prenuptial agreement (besides offending and hurting someone’s feelings).

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      starme77posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      well I would disagree , I was married to a guy for 20 years and never really even knew him, it happens , you may love someone and think they love you and well, could end up finding out differently,

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6. 66

   aka-djposted 13 years ago

   Never had one done. Been married almost 31yrs. Didn't own (still don't) enough stuff to warrant arguing over. I guess it depends on how much you want to hang on to your stuff.
   
   Personally, I'd be happy to give her the lot! I'm not things oriented. That's my take on it. 

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7. 62

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   I think there should be a standard "rule" that each partner takes out of the marriage what he brought in (from pre-married days, and kind of like the "back-up-and-restore" point in a PC), that each keeps things his own family gave the couple as gifts, the stuff purchased during the marriage gets negotiated (based on what makes sense), and that kids' belongings stay with the kids.  That leaves the point from the divorce on, which could be negotiated based on common sense.  What ought to be done away with is the thing that if someone comes into money after the divorce the spouse gets half of it.  That would eliminate the need for an individual pre-nup unless there were very unique circumstances.

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8. 67

   Pearldiverposted 13 years ago

   In NZ partners who have spent 3 years or more together (married or otherwise) share the assets 50-50..... Unless a prenup and/or associated family trust was established prior to that 3 year period.
   
   So......... Pre-Nups are important tools for estate planning... especially if you have children from previous relationships, that you wish to provide for outside of a new relationship that could potentially remove that ability after the short period of only 36 months.

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      Inspiration101posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      But you have to have lived together for those 2 years, right?

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9. 70

   Rafiniposted 13 years ago

   I used to think if a person asked for a prenup prior to marriage, it either meant they didn't love their partner or they didn't trust that their partner loved them.  Now I'm not so sure...I mean, I can see why someone with "family" money would want to protect it and if a prenup is the only way...Is there seriously no alternatives? 

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10. 66

    Ivorwenposted 13 years ago

    My father-in-law got one when he remarried, about eight years ago.  It insures that her son does not share in the inheritance he has set aside for his children, and she was all for this. 
    
    My husband and I don't have one, but if something were ever to happen to him, I would be very careful remarrying, especially where the children and their future are concerned.

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11. 0

    Lecieposted 13 years ago

    i would never marry someone who needed a prenup.
    if he doesn't trust me already than the marriage is doomed to failure. by that point in the relationship their should be enough trust that he knows for a fact i wouldn't care if he's rich or poor and that i love him for him.
    if the trust isn't there than walk away before it's too late and your heart is badly broken.

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12. 85

    donotfearposted 13 years ago

    I think it's a good idea, especially if each has other children from previous marriages. Not a predetermination of failure, but as insurance that all previous assets will be protected if a crisis arises.

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13. 80

    BDazzlerposted 13 years ago

    I have had reason to suspect that my ex-wife contemplated killing me for the life-insurance before she just decided to leave.  If there was more money and there had been a prenup, maybe she would have killed me, rather than just leaving. Who knows?
    
    I do think, philosophically, it sounds like a bad plan, "Baby, I love you, let's be together forever ... here, sign this in case it doesn't work out..."
    
    Things like that seem to be self-fulfilling prophesies.

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14. 79

    Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

    If you can even consider it, then you aren't in love. Why in God's name would anyone want to marry someone that they didn't with all their heart intend to be with forever?  The very idea is so absurd I can hardly wrap my head around it. 
    
    A pre-nup is a roommate agreement between two people who want to bone each other for an undetermined number of years with the legal benefits of being called "married."

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    alaina3posted 13 years ago

    I never thought a pre-nup should be considered until I got married to a man that I loved deeply only to find out that he was a con man who lied about just about everything.  After I kicked him out (after 9mos and almost all of my inheritance) I found out from his ex-wife all about the five other wives and six kids he had spread out all over several states.  I am still beating myself up over my blindness and stupidity.  Yes, my mom had just died and I was in a terrible place; and yes he came in on his white stallion to sweep me up but I still can't believe I fell for his line.  Get the pre-nup cause you just don't know what else you are gettin'!

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    Lynda Garyposted 13 years ago

    Everyone seems to be assuming that a pre-nup is a contract that applies in the event of a divorce; it is not limited to divorce.
    
    A pre-nup is also a contract that can apply in the event of death of a spouse. 
    
    If Rich Guy dies, for example, normally his entire estate would pass to Wife.  With a pre-nup, H & W agree on the distribution of funds before hand.  "Family" money, for example, might revert to the family, or go to only the biological children from a previous union, with a certain percentage of funds being allocated to the now-widow.  Just examples, but seems to take the "no trust" factor out of it, doesn't it, when we're talking about death ending the marriage rather than divorce?

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    1. 79

       Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       A formal will does this too and does not infect the essence of marriage with material concerns and a foreshadowing of doubt.

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          Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          agreed

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17. 59

    Black Lillyposted 13 years ago

    If it comes to me committing to marriage, there's no way I would consider a pre-nup.
    If you're thinking about consequences in case of divorce, you should think about the reasons for getting married first. Maybe that's not the right person.

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    Madame Xposted 13 years ago

    Any guy who wants a pre-nup doesn't love me enough for me to marry him

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19. 76

    Uninvited Writerposted 13 years ago

    I think they are a good idea, when they protect both sides.

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20. 82

    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    i would never make any girl sign a prenup with me.  unless i was like super famous like Michael Jordan or Arnold Schwarzeneger and EVERYONE knew who i was, then i might just to be on the safe  side.  however, if i was rich and NOBODY knew about it, then no i wouldn't as i would have more confidence that the girl i liked loved me for me and nothing more.

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       brianzenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       If you both have a stable income then a pre-nup is pointless anyway because it is down the road when mitigations start and both people tend to leave the finances at the mercy of a judge who will discard a prenup if the wife is not working and you make more than say 100,000 annualy. Best bet if you want a pre nup to work never have a joint account.

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21. 61

    Rozzy88posted 13 years ago

    Well, I made my husband sign a prenup. He didn't have a problem with it. I am one of those trust-fund babies, and when my mother dies, I will inherit a great deal of money. I HOPE AND PRAY to God that my mother doesn't die until I'm like 90, but I didn't want my husband to have rights to the money that my mom worked her whole life to set aside for me. I have a stable job as a medical biller, so I'm not trying to "hide" money from him. I also signed one for him. My husband is Military  and we have no children. In the event that our relationship fails (hope that never happens), we just want to make sure that what's ours, stays ours.

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    Inspiration101posted 13 years ago

    I had a conversation with a friend of mind regarding this. She has an acquaintance who is married, but has numerous women "on the side." <-- he openly told my friend this. When she asked why, he said he would've divorced his wife by now, but he'd lose a lot of money.
    
    I'd never want my husband to stay with me because he was afraid to lose his money. If I was his wife, in hindsight, I'd have prefered to have the prenup so he wouldn't have to cheat on me!

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