My friend asked me what he should do about his live in girlfriend talking all through sex. I'll just call the couple Jack & Jill. I don't really want to give Jack advice, because I don't want to be blamed if something goes wrong. So, I told Jack he can read what you guy's say.
Jack says that when he and Jill first got together, the only sounds she made were moans and screaming yes's. But lately, she's been talking about what's going on at the office when they make love. And to Jack's dismay, Jill even talked about making a grocery list the other day, while they were in the middle of having sex.
Jack fears that he will lose her if he complains, because she is very headstrong. But he asked me if there may be a subtle way of droping Jill a hint. And I just don't want to go there.
My guess is it may be more complicated than just her not "being into" him. I wonder if she's either become so accustomed to thinking that "sex isn't a big deal", and if she's so comfortable with him, she thinks she doesn't have to bother pretending it's "a bigger deal" to her at this point. Or, the opposite of that, if she's someone who is so uncomfortable with sex in general she's doing the kind chatting that a lot of women do when they have to see a doctor over something "very personal".
I think he ought to just "mention" that it's not something that makes him feel like she's interested, ask her why she thinks it's something she does, and take it from there. Talking to his buddies about his intimate relationship with her won't help the problem and won't help her feel any more comfortable about sex with him (if that's the problem). It's always just better for people talk about something, see who says what, and take it from there.
maybe he should sit down to talk with her first. that way after they've had a nice conversation he can start with some romantic tactics to get her in the mood for something else try doing something nice for her just out of the blue for no reason. just get her happy and excited. make her want to go to the bedroom. if she really wants it you'll here those moans again for sure.
Haha Earnest I am sitting here all alone in a nice peaceful house just laughing away, it is reverberating off all four walls. Half the time I don't know what I am laughing about, oh I just love it though. Love that you are happy too LMAO.
Well said, and I completely agree with telling me if it isn't everything it could be...
The thing about the female body is that there really aren't a lot of outward signs...like the male erection, for men to be able to gage how into it their partner is. So unless women communicate with us, for example by talking about the shopping list during sex, we won't really know what she is feeling.(I'm sure she didn't start out with the shopping list, to communicate the fact that sex was getting Boring...'he' should have caught on when she started...err stopped moaning 'Oh Yes!')
This has got to be the funniest thing ever. Jack: oh yes yes baby im cumming Jill: How about those lakers the other day? NO Jill needs to realize that she is literally bringing this mans ego down with self absorbency She probably might not know what she's doing. Because when I started out , I was a mute. And that's because I wasn't quite sure what I could or would say in fear of sounding dumb or sounding like a wounded seal. So she may have the same problem. But a closed mouth doesn't get fed. Only solution here is to talk it out. Not try to drop hints. He could be boring in bed and she's trying to drop hints by talking about the office. Whats wrong with just saying what it is? If she's not willing to work it out, then maybe that's jsut saying something about her. ? And , he has to give it some encouragement to her. If he's not yelling OH BABY YOUR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE by now. Maybe she's just reacting to how he might be acting. Like I said , only solution here is to talk it out. Or nothing will get solved. UNless your telepathic of course.
She WANTS to turn him OFF!!!! She reallly, really doesn't want sex with him anymore if she talks about her grocerty list while in the act... maybe she has another lover???? Who knows, but it isn't HIM on her brain, that's for SURE!
Well personally I don't mind a girl who is a little mouthy, in fact it seems like keeping her mouth busy is the main problem here, so maybe he shoud get her a dictaphone for her birthday. Then again...
What do you think BP - would you like it if a guy gave you a dictaphone?
Clearly 'Jill' is not so Headstrong if she feels the need to be in a different Head Space
I've always been suspicious of those that tell stories like this in the third party context. Usually it means that they are not prepared to take ownership of their own problem and invent Jacks, Jills and Uncle Arthurs merely to gain information for their own problem.
Perhaps if Jack was more vocal AND interesting... Jill might enjoy the pleasure of listening
I suspect Jack is a boring fart and bottom line is that Jill is sick of being bored. Jack Get a Life!!
This reminded me of a saying I have about oral sex, specifically '69'. I've always seen that as a flawed plan because if I'm doing MY job right, then you will be unable to do YOUR job right (and vice versa).
Plain and simple, she's multi-tasking like women do, but she wouldn't be if the guy was blowing her mind. He may have to get a bit more creative to get her undivided attention.
When a woman is talking like that during sex, she's trying to tell you something. Sometimes us girls forget that you guys have a hard time reading between the lines. But there is this maybe she has so much on her brain that she really isn't totally aware of what she's doing, one person already said communication is Key and that I agree totally with. Open the conversation with ease and no judgement, the only way a woman wants a penis is if it comes in peace, and I can tell you if I am really mad at my man and he's just pissing me off talking about the groceries or work during sex is an amazing way to get his attention and get his ego!! Chat over wine and open yourself to her, she'll talk to you after all she is a girl and chatting is what we do best. woman want to fix things so take what I said and run with it, it will work, good luck, hey post an update, LOL!!!!
Why do guys always send girls mixed messages?I always heard if a guy likes you and wants to talk to you, he will, but what happens if he initiates conversation then stops talking after I answer? I'm confused, help!
In this game, you must change ONE word from the previous sentence. The change must be appropriate to hubpages guidelines, and must make sense. Also, you can not post directly after yourself, you must wait until someone else posts to change a word. I will start with this: "Jack and Jill were...
seeing as how i opened another forum on this, and how i won't have to put up with the ackward moments you parents will have talking to your child about this. however, what would you say to explain to your daughters about the birds and the bees?
Is it better to be a Jack or Jill of all trades, Jack or Jill of a few trades or a Master of One?Feel free to tell what you are. If you are Master of one then do or did you desire to be more than the one? Finally, What do you think in general?
How do you evaluate WHY you turn people off when socializing?It isn't always low self-esteem that causes a person to turn off others upon first meeting them. I KNOW that I do. I can't figure out why. I'm not a "small talk" person and that might be an issue. Exp: On a walk this...
Google AdSense Host API
We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking Pixels
We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google Analytics
Amazon Tracking Pixel