Is it possible to change or better oneself?

1. 73

   Dan Barfieldposted 11 years ago

   Is it possible to change or better oneself?
   
   Through personal experience, I feel I have in some ways changed a great deal over the years, especially in my beliefs. Have you changed a deep part of yourself through choice?
   
   

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2. 38

   wqaindiaposted 11 years ago

   I think that speaking truth can change your life and if you make my motto "Speak Truth and Forget" as  one of the trusted way of life, you are free from worries, fears of any type. Always choose the "Middle Path", believe in "GOD" and remember no one in "Immortal" in this materialistic world.

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      Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Speaking the truth can be a game changer - I agree. One of the most successful decisions in my life was not to give or take any bullshit. I try never to put on a 'front'  - it is a lot less tiring to just be me, warts'n'all.

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   dghbrhposted 11 years ago

   Yes very intentionally and knowingly I tried and succeed to change for my personnel betterment. The deep within is what I am meaning here of course. Internal peace and the growth is what is most important for me in sense of individual growth.
   Thank you.

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      Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I have gone through a fair amount of internal change myself - and I have taken control of that change. It is incredibly empowring to know that we are each our own projects. We can mould oursleves and our lives as we so choose if only we put the work

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4. 81

   pstraubie48posted 11 years ago

   Absolutely yes. If the desire is there. If someone reallly wishes to make changes then it can happen. We choose to live our lives as we do and if that is in a negative way, then we reap what we sow. If we see that our negative life style such as poor eating habits are a stumbling block to us, then we need to take the steps it takes to correct that.

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      Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with you totally - so long as we do not abdicate responsibility for our own choices then we can choose who it is that we are and to a lesser extent, we can choose what kind of world we live in.

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5. 61

   ladylucknotsoposted 11 years ago

   I have changed and sometimes didn't even know it until someone pointed it out to me!  It felt great to know that I did something positive and someone noticed!!!!

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      Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That is a wonderful feeling isn't it! Acknowledgement for positive change in someone - even if they hadn't conciously been aware of the change taking place - is a marvelous gift for anyone to receive or give.

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      ladylucknotsoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It is, it really, really is!

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6. 69

   Emanate Presenceposted 11 years ago

   This reminds me of an old and well-worn joke.
   
   What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
   
   "Make me one with everything."
   
   He paid for the two dollar hotdog with a five.
   
   Then he said to the vendor, "I'd like my change."
   
   And the vendor replied, "Change comes from within."
   
   For sure, a good place for change from within to start is by looking honestly at one's own beliefs. I did, and became (am becoming) a whole new person.

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   1. 73

      Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent joke!
      
      As to looking at ones beliefs... doing what you suggest is exactly what my 'Importance of philosophising' hub is about. I have done (and am in the process of doing) the very same thing

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7. 64

   cjpooja26posted 11 years ago

   Yes, if your desire to change yourself is strong, working hard for your desires and believe in yourself you can definitely change yourself and also you can do anything you want just trust yourself and take a step towards your goal.

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      Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly! Take steps... In other words take action!

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8. 67

   Highvoltagewriterposted 11 years ago

   Change is a constant thing for me, but sometimes it seems the more I change, the more I stay the same!

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      Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Life is a constant state of flux - I agree. The trick I think is in steering the change.

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   TIMETRAVELER2posted 11 years ago

   I think most people change as they pass through life due to their circumstances, health and experiences.  Life moves ever forward, nothing stays the same, including us!

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   1. 73

      Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely right! We can never cross the same river twice, and we are never the same as we were prior to an experience. However, there is a difference between passive change and concious change.  Have you experienced concious change?

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10. 64

    Tusitala Tomposted 11 years ago

    If we don't even try to change ourselves what's the point to our lives?   We change ourselves whenever we make a decision and carry it through.  This can be something as mundane yet as significant as deciding to educate ourselves to improve our worldly knowledge, to booking into a meditaiton centre to improve our insight into our psychological and spiritual self.
    
    Many people, at some time in their lives, find great and unexpected changes happen to them.  An increasing popular belief nowadays is that we bring the changes into our lives by our habitual thinking.  The point made by the pundits is that every thought is registered and, without going into a long explanation here, when a certain weight of such thinking 'tips the scales,' so to speak, we bring that once imarginary circumstance into a lives as a tangible reality.   
    
    In other words, we create the changes in our lives by our thinking - and that applies to our habitual thinking, our consciously directed thinking, or what has been planted in our subconscious mind without our realizing it.
    
    The message here?    Pick the changes you want consciously, or you might find your getting a lot of stuff in your life you don't really want.

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       TerryK81posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Bingo! Life is about living, growing, learning, experiencing, and giving. No one is meant to live to themselves. That sucks!

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       Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I agree with this trend of thought - I have lived the changes in my reality that occurred purely as a result of changing the way I thought. Consciousness and thought manifest reality to some degree. It is fascinating to consider!

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11. 60

    TerryK81posted 11 years ago

    It most assuredly is. Some may disagree, but that's only if YOU believe you cannot change, and if your will to change is sincere. But if you are wanting to change say, from being yourself......no. But if the change is to change a bad habit, or to positively improve in say, communication, work ethic, moral outlook.....
    As for me, I believe I have changed quite a bit over the last few years. Not here to discuss religion because that is a touchy subject with some people and it could therefore cause chaos, but I personally believe in God and His power and willingness to work in my life and to change my moral and spiritual perceptions. But then also, I have to decide everyday to remain on my new God-given course of positive, spiritual change.  If I may share something: In the Bible, Phillipians 2:13, it says that it is the power of God that works in you to desire and to actually do of His good pleasure; God wants you to be your absolute best and He wants you to be happy and satisfied, even if that happiness is not with Him.
    But in the end, it is up to YOU to make the final call as to what you are really going to do. Nobody can make you do anything.

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       Emanate Presenceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       You have written something beautiful and from the heart. It is real for you, in this moment, and what else is there? Not only is your writing well-received, it is appreciated for its even tone and deeper understanding. May your path be a joy to you.

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       TerryK81posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I have written not according to me, but according to the Truth of God in Scripture; It is His Grace. Look unto Him, not unto a stupid sinful human as myself.

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       Emanate Presenceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Is it so?

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       TerryK81posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Joy is realizing I receive grace, and also change and answered prayer. The harder the trials, the sweeter the victory when acheived by the grace of God.

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       Emanate Presenceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I understand where you are coming from, TerryK81.

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12. 61

    Cordelia Bayposted 11 years ago

    Yes. One must examine one's own self and discover who one really is and not who one believes one's self to be. Discovering like and dislikes.....deal makers and deal breakers.....what one is willing to compromise and what one is not willing to compromise....being honest and forthright with one's self when truths are revealed and not always quick to deny what is being revealed to self. Taking steps to strengthen strengths and taking action to get rid of weakness that hinders one from achieving one's goal and desires. Having self respect followed by actions of self discipline to ensure that one's best is brought to the forefront in every situation of life. These things only come about when the desire for change out weighs the desire to participate and have regret after participating.

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    1. 73

       Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Insightful words Cordelia! - this reminded me of a quote: 'He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty' (Lao Tzu)

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       Cordelia Bayposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks. How true is your quote. I need to write it down.

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       IDONOposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Changes occur in one's self, when one gets out of one's self. Self is a lonely place and that display of isolation lacks motivation to make changes.

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       Lady Wordsmithposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       But we are not all the same IDONO.  Some people thrive on isolation, and don't find it a lonely place at all.  Some people enjoy their own company more than the company of others, and are still able to find plenty of motivation.

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13. 74

    Lady Wordsmithposted 11 years ago

    Yes, absolutely.  About four years ago I read one of the Dalai Lama's books, and at that point I decided that I wanted to be happy for the rest of my life.  I was already getting to a point of some enlightenment by myself, but reading that book helped to confirm for me that I was doing all of the right things to achieve a happy and joy-filled life. 
    
    Since realising that I'm allowed to be happy all the time, life has been truly wonderful.  It's had some horrible things in it, and last year was quite difficult, but I've never lost that inner core of unshakeable happiness.  I don't think that sense of rightness will ever leave me now - I've found the secret, and I won't forget it.  I found it because I wanted to find it, and in the end it was very easy.

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    IDONOposted 11 years ago

    Yes! Simply put, this can be done when you want the new you more than the old you. You also have to be honest enough with yourself to surrender to that shortcoming, accept it, then feel the necessity to change it. Most people tend to defend their shortcomings because they are hard to face. An alcoholic has to admit and accept his problem before he is willing to make change and accept help if need be. The word stress means a reaction to change. We try to avoid stress so we try to avoid change. Change also takes us away from our comfort zone. Who wants that?

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       Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Very good point IDONO! It does often seem that most people find making a change difficult because to move forwards they must confront things about themselves that they would rather not face. It is far easier to live in the comfort zone forever.

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       Emanate Presenceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, well put, IDONO. Great observation that 'The word stress means a reaction to change. We try to avoid stress so we try to avoid change.' Change happens. Another way than stressing about it is to let go quickly of resistance. Love life as it is!

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15. 71

    manatita44posted 11 years ago

    Not through choice, Everything happens at God's Hour. And yes, it is possible to change or better oneself. Indeed  the Supreme is always in charge although we tend to think we are. God gives us limited freedom and has endless patience. Ultimately, He brings us round to the divine way of thinking.

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       Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       You talk about God like he is on the outside looking in. Of course we have choice - a holy man once said 'we have the freedom to be in bondage'. It is us who choose slavery, our freedom is in letting go.

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       Emanate Presenceposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, there are various ways to look at God. I found my beliefs to be a choice & realized my old beliefs - putting God outside myself - were not serving well. In one way I'm glad to have once been dualistic and dogmatic, to better understand other

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    3. 71

       manatita44posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks Dan.
       
       I can make this more profound. Your point is valid, though. My  perception, taken from those I honour and respect: Christ, Buddha, Rama, Krishna; Ramakrisha, Chaitanya ... is that God is the only Doer. Even 'choice' comes from Him.

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    tstrong773posted 11 years ago

    Yes you can change for the better! But I know that you must have your priorities in place first. You can not look around society and find the answer. Society today places happiness and success in the wrong ideas and concepts. Perfection is what society looks for but only as they define perfection. You have to look within to deceide for yourself what changes you need to make and grow from that. Take baby steps if you must. I believe people today put to much pressure on themselves and set unrealistic goals. Pick your goals wisely and set real expectations for yourself. Life experiences teach us and help us to make better choices. Don't beat yourself up for making mistakes because we should learn from them and grow. That is how you know you are changing for the better, use this experiences in life to help you make wiser decisions!

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       Dan Barfieldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I agree that society is never the place to look for an idea of happiness or success. The media tends to link money and material gain with happiness and success, and that is quite a shallow view.  To find our goals, we should look within.

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17. 74

    dksuttleposted 11 years ago

    Not only is it possible, it is our most sacred task.  The purpose of life is to better one's self.  If we are truly born blank slates, then we have only two directions to go.  Better or worse, up or down, those are our options.

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    Neinahpetsposted 11 years ago

    Great question.  It is definitely possible to change yourself however you want to if you have the motivation and drive to shape the new self.  I am still in a transition to change a part of me that has been my reality since childhood, but I am working on it.  One step at a time - baby steps!!

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19. 61

    rabadiyaposted 11 years ago

    yes mate you can surely change your self to what ever you want to be like...
    you can seriously do this by mind-power, which applies one of the most powerful law of nature which is known as the LAW OF ATTRACTION. This Law will surely change your life, just as flipping a new page. Thank you very much...

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