What do you know about Mormons?

Jump to Last Post 51-100 of 288 discussions (1667 posts)

60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
A Mormon Bishop got on an elevator on the 10th floor, (he was heading to the lobby) on the 8th floor a beautiful woman walked in. (they were alone) On the way to the lobby the gorgeous woman hit the stop button. She turned to the Bishop and said:

"Can you make me feel like a true woman?"

The Bishop said: "I sure can" and excitedly took off all his clothes, he then threw them in the corner of the elevator. He turned to the woman pointed to the clothes and said:

"Now fold them".
reply report
1. 0
  Twenty One Daysposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  reply report
2. 68
  goldenpathposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Almost funny.
  reply report
3. 0
  theawwwbutmumposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I laughed
  reply report
  75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  me too...
  reply report
0
sneakorocksolidposted 15 years ago
You're great!
reply report
1. 75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I agree, he is a good man. (and I think you are as well)
  reply report
0
Denno66posted 15 years ago
They have a great choir.
reply report
0
Denno66posted 15 years ago
Well, they do have a great choir. I stand by my statement.
reply report
1. 68
  goldenpathposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  They most certainly do, and of the highest character and integrity!
  reply report
  0
  Denno66posted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I've seen them on televised specials; they are so well-rehearsed and their voices are quite moving.
  reply report
75
Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years ago
For the record...

I do not believe that these are the end of days.
reply report
1. 68
  goldenpathposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Oh, I agree. However, they are the last days leading up to the millenial reign of Jesus Christ. Then come the awesome work to take place in that thousand year reign. After that will get dicey, but is bound to come as well.
  reply report
2. 0
  Twenty One Daysposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  agreed, these are the beginning of eternity.
  well said, Mr. Roberts, well said.
  reply report
  68
  goldenpathposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  All time is eternity. It's a matter of perception. Common Christianity see this as the last days, as in the end. We see it as an end of an era leading up to the millenial reign, when for a season of a thousand years the dead shall have their resurrection according to their order of worthiness. The righteous shall be resurrected in the mornings of the First Resurrection and so forth. Satan will be bound for that time. After the millenium the Adversary shall be loosed for a season prior to his conflict and eventual celestialization of the Earth when it shall be literally brought back near unto God for the righteous to inherit.
  reply report
  75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  ok now you have lost me...
  
  this sounds vaguely like the ancient jew's view of the universe...
  
  If this is what Mormons believe, then they have missed the point, in my humble opinion.
  
  It is not a competition, there are not those that are more worthy than others, there are simply people that are different, as God intended. No one is more 'holy' than the next. No one is more deserving than the next of God's love.
  
  There are an infinite number of holy paths to God. None of them are better paths than the next. They are simply different flavors. The path that is most comfortable for you is the path God intended for you to take.
  
  I am starting to feel like you are telling half truths, saying only that which makes you look good. That may or may not be the case, but that is what I am feeling.
  reply report
  68
  goldenpathposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  It's all part of the eternal perspective of the Plan of Salvation. One era leads to another in effort to sanctify and justify all humanity, the dead and the living, unto the eventual exaltation of many. It's the ancient views that are less tainted by modern renditions of succoring man's wants and desires. I have no problem believing in the doctrines Jesus Christ originally set forth in it's purity. If that answers all my questions versus modern "superficial" scrapings of the gospel then I'll go with the former.
  
  I've been studying, questioning and testing for decades. I'm not perfect by any means but I do know what was practiced and taught in ancient Christianity and it's not the normal mainstream that's taught today.
  reply report
  75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Good Luck with that.
  
  Peace and Love, Mikel
  reply report
  75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Being older doesn't make something purer, it just makes it older.
  reply report
  82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Mikel-
  I agree that there are multiple paths. But I also believe that many paths can converge with the gospel of Jesus Christ.
  reply report
71
earnestshubposted 15 years ago
Who just happens to be imagined!

Ya see, it's not all the curly use of whoever's religious tome, it is the whole omni bloomin everything does nothing never been proved sky fairy that is the problem for me!
reply report
68
goldenpathposted 15 years ago
It's late. Good night to all. Now the woodwork can open up! Have fun with the feeding frenzy.
reply report
71
earnestshubposted 15 years ago
Methinks thou protesteth too much!
reply report
71
earnestshubposted 15 years ago
"First invent an enemy"
reply report
1. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Yeah! I bet Smith went through several different titles for Satan before he settled on "Adversary." It was better than the one he made up for the angel "Maroni." Sounds like some kind of pasta named after the inventor of the radio.
  reply report
  71
  earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I'm surprised he could spell it!
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  The multiple wives thing Smith came up with was probably a very successful recruiting tool. I can picture the response of the prospective Moronian males, "Let me see if I understand this, I get as many wives as I want, even a few young ones, and all I have to do is believe old Joe's story? And the women have to obey me too? Amen Brother!"
  reply report
  82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Ignorance. It wasn't a recruiting tool.
  reply report
0
Onusonusposted 15 years ago
Two things I can't stand;
1)People who are intolerant of other peoples cultures,
2)The Dutch.
reply report
80
iantoPFposted 15 years ago
I've been reading this thread and, apart from some silliness it's fascinating.
Because of the Mormon's aggressive missionary activities they have caused a lot of mainstream Christians go to their Priest or Pastor and ask the questions that the Mormons raise. The result is that they have forced a discussion within Christianity and have set the agenda for debates on such matters as the Atonement and continued revelation. This is truly interesting to those who see philosophy as an expanding, evolving discipline rather than a set of principles carved in stone.
One of the first Hubs I wrote was on the unique doctrines of the Mormons. Their history, driven by their religion makes a worthwhile study. There is a case for comparing their formation and development with the birth of Christianity. Sadly that is no longer true. They have taken a different course.
A question though; Mormons try to be as Godlike as possible. To be Godlike, to be as much like their view of God as possible. However, under their system of beliefs, God is a polygamist. So why do they disaprove of polygamy? I understand the political and legal arguments but those are negated now. There is no law against co-habiting in any relationship group. So why do they not wish to follow God in this respect?
reply report
1. 0
  Onusonusposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Two reasons for that;
  1) It is against God's law to cohabbitate, and we are only to have relations with people who we are legaly and lawfully married to.
  
  2)Polygamy was disbanded by a Prophet, and unless another Prophet receives revelation on the subject we will not enter into that institution.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  So the laws depend on the "Prophet" at the time? One prophet likes the ladies, another is happy with just one, so this makes sense? How do you tell if they are prophets? Do they have to make predictions to test their abilities?
  
  How are the prophets chosen?
  reply report
  0
  Onusonusposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Hey, snake boy, I wasn't talking to you. Why don't you go take another bong rip and go watch some Sponge Bob.
  Have a good one
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  That wasn't very tolerant.
  
  So that is how Mormons are?
  reply report
  0
  Onusonusposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I don't know, do you base your misconseptions of other peoples cultures on the rantings of the few you don't like?
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Are you always so hostile and angry?
  reply report
  0
  Onusonusposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I am in no way hostile to anyboby, just ask me.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I still think you should changer the O's in your avatar name to A's! Certainly more apt!
  reply report
  0
  Onusonusposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  And I think you should stick that little snake avatar where the sun don't shine.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  See my last post!
  reply report
  0
  A Texanposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I like Spongebob, Patrick is my favorite.
  reply report
  55
  (Q)posted 15 years agoin reply to this
  In other words, when you decide to create a prophet to suit the agenda du jour.
  reply report
2. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  iantoPF-
  Well said.
  I like Onusonus's spunk and whit, but not all "Mormons" are the same.
  Not all prophets are the same, but the Holy Ghost can testify that to you that he is a true prophet. A true prophet brings us closer to Jesus Christ. Times change, so a prophet can help us on our journey.
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Once two Missionaries decided to go pheasant hunting. Since they were inexperienced they just asked the sporting goods dealer to fix them up with everything necessary for a successful day. On his recommendation they bought shotguns, shells, hunting clothing, licenses, a bird dog, etc. Early the next morning the went afield with great excitement to pursue the elusive pheasant; but immediately encountered difficulty getting their new bird dog to perform. Finally one of them became so frustrated he said,

"I don't know what that guy sold us, but it ain't no bird dog! I've had it with this mutt; I'm gonna shoot him!"

"Wait! Wait", implored the other, "we paid $500 bucks for that dog, give him just one more chance."

"All right", said the first reluctantly. "You throw him up once more, and if he don't fly I'm gonna waste him!"
reply report
1. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Just using old jokes and inserting people you don't like (for some reason).
  reply report
77
skyfireposted 15 years ago
Spongebob FTW. \m/
reply report
80
iantoPFposted 15 years ago
Meanwhile, back at the point;
Mormon attitudes against polygamy are largely influenced by their doctrine that the law should be obeyed. So another question for latter day saints. Should the law be obeyed in every instance? for example, the UK has anti-blasphemy laws. Rarely enforced but they do have them. The Islamic community has been pushing for years to have Islam included in those laws. If they become successful, would Mormons be willing to state that Mohammed was a false prophet in violation of that law?
I can think of many other examples of where the law might conflict with religous principles. How would a faithful church member react?
reply report
1. 0
  Onusonusposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I'm not a church leader but a likely answer would be, that it is against our doctrine to go around debating people on who in other religions are right and who's wrong.
  If it is an issue which infringes itself on our right to worship according to the dictates of one's conscience then we would have to sustain the law, and do what we can to litigate against such injustices.
  reply report
2. 61
  Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Let me take a stab at that. Please refer to: http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?local … 82620aRCRD
  or
  http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideN … 82620aRCRD
  for a talk where can be found the quote “This Spirit never generates the feelings of distinction between people which lead to strife.” I hope this answers your legitimate question. My personal belief is that when matters get bogged down into legalistic arguments, the Spirit (vis-à-vis revelation) takes precedence.
  reply report
3. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  I agree with Onusonus, but there is at least some truth to what Mohammed taught, but I would not be able to say if he was a prophet.
  reply report
68
goldenpathposted 15 years ago
I was right! After I retired for the evening the frenzy did begin. I wish to thank the usual participants for being so timely in their entrance. Actually, it is good to see. For a group of individuals who profess there is no God, to be lurking on religious forums would stump some people. However, it further proves that they have true interest. So, from that angle I shall hold no grudge for your behaviors. It's too bad people have to take sincere conversations and drag them down to the pit of a public restroom. However, because of your genuine interest I will continue to show love and cheer for each one of you.

You may slander the Church and it's leader all you want. It changes nothing - and the Church continues to grow!
reply report
1. 75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Very Nicely Stated. Kudos.
  reply report
2. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  And you can slander our historians and scientists with your pitiful ramblings about a civilization which never existed. Your silly belief can't make up its mind whether to have one or many concubines to warm your bed. The "prophets" decide for you.
  
  And you are a priest! Are you denying Joseph Smiths past as a con man?
  reply report
  68
  goldenpathposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I am denying you as someone to take seriously. I am denying that the "many" who purposely follow me are, indeed, hard hearted. It is evident that there is much contention within the heart and soul of "these" who seek to slander another faith. Activity of this nature would not take place if it were any other faith. None of them. Curious how the serpent enters the hearts of so many that they may do his work in confounding the hearts and minds of all mankind. To do his will in seeking to strip the liberty and freedoms of choice from all who wish to study and learn the beliefs of another. The veils of pride have served to bring about self importance and the "gotcha" syndrome as they continue to beat at the door of faith. Is the anxiety within in such a state of unrest that, as the beasts, they feel the need to frenzy as if in a harem of heat? Wives and concubines? You're not ready for even the simplest of doctrines yet. We've stated that we believe in one spouse. That is sufficient and even that is incoherent for "these" to understand. The blackness of the heart is as a cancer and will only serve to decay yourselves.
  
  To continue in slanderous activity without any depth of knowledge of what you all are talking about belittles the use and productivity of HubPages forums and degrades your openness and willingness to learn. If any one of you would have taken the time to test any of my suggestions to gain your own truths your entire attitude and persona would have changed and your hearts would no longer be black with self pity.
  
  Mark my words, the veins and virus of pride will get the best of you. At the same time it is YOUR pride. YOU have control over it. It's YOUR agency that either feeds it or dissolves it's cancerous affects. YOU have the choice to be happy or miserable. Pride and happiness cannot function together. Pride deceives. Pride makes one feel happy and fulfilled from the degrading of others. This is not happiness but misery in disguise. No religion, no doctrine, no up or down - if there is but one overwhelming testimony of truth that I wish to extend to those who have chosen such a path it would simply be that pride kills. I say it with true concern and sincerity. Unfortunately, those who have made a career of this path are probably not ready for happiness as they have proven unable to handle the technology of the internet with reservation, mastery and tolerance. I won't lie. Your slanders do hurt and so you have succeeded in that part of the adversary's plan, but you will never weaken my personal testimony and the things I have learned.
  
  Pride kills, and that's all I've got to say. You may now continue the slander.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Accusing someone of slander is a serious charge,GP. Why don't you just prove me wrong in my statements, too much trouble? It's easy enough to research your claims of an ancient civilization, because there is none. Just pride on your part not to attempt to explain why.
  
  You preaching to me about pride, and how it darkens my heart, says a lot about you and your beliefs. Because I know there was no ancient pre-Columbian civilization with a method of writing and recording history at the time, I am doomed to darkness by you.
  
  You have no explanation for the lack of artifacts created by a literate group of over a million people. You make claims anyone with any logical understanding of archeology would laugh at and expect people not to scoff.
  
  I do not need you to lecture me about the "use and productivity of Hubpage forums." Nor about the degradation of my "openness and willingness to learn." I do not come here to listen to the gibberish of a cult member expecting to learn anything of importance.
  
  And don't flatter yourself, I am not "following" you. Why should I? You have nothing of importance to share, other than your own sense of pride.
  
  And you are wrong once again. Slanders do not hurt those who know the truth. And the truth is not slander. Too bad you, as a priest, detest the truth so greatly. But I suppose denial is a requirement in your cult, otherwise it would not exist.
  
  Keep preaching about peoples hearts being darkened and how they won't listen to you even though you are more knowledgeable about the history of our country than leading scholars, historians, and archaeologists. And you speak of MY pride!
  
  I agree with you on one thing though, I do not wish to discuss anything further with you. If you are a priest, I can only imagine how ignorant the ordinary cult members are.
  
  Peddle your->
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Nobody follows you for the sheer purpose of pointing out how wrong you are. Jeez, talk about pride problems. Check your ego, man. Your religion is no different, truer, or more special than any other.
  
  Yeh and no, lol, we're not agents of the adversary because we disagree with you. Out of concern for you I will tell you that it's all just part of your delusion.
  
  It's very simple. You make outlandish assertions and are questioned to back them up. Then you get mad and accuse people of persecuting you and working for the adversary.
  
  Blah blah blah. Get a grip, man.
  reply report
3. 59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Oh please... You're a master at crying persecution, gp. All part of the plan I guess.
  
  It's true though that your proselytizing techniques are among the best no doubts. Your members are well trained and in truth that is what all your "charitable" missions are all about. And let's not forget your clever use of children and the boyscouts.
  
  The growth of the LDS church is however grossly overstated. You guys consistently lose about as many members as you gain.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  or more.
  reply report
4. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Public restroom...lol
  goldenpath, well stated albeit a little wordy.
  People who disagree are just people. With their opinions that they hold fast to.
  Pandoras Box-We are disassociating ourselves from the Boy Scouts at the end of the year because they have become too liberal.
  reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
Hey Golden, you got rid of the snake! Good for you.
reply report
1. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  How was that apple? Feel any smarter?
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Man you are a bitter pill.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Sorry, I must have given you a lemon by mistake.
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I said bitter not sour
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Persimmon, I knew it!
  reply report
2. 68
  goldenpathposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I thank you for your kind words. However, I was never trying to discard anyone, just clarifying something so very apparent but is invisible to those who cannot see. I care not about "converting" anyone. To me, it is pointless over the internet. Conversion takes place, face to face. As said many times, I understand and tolerate all systems of faith, belief or lack of. It's personal agency which a gift and part of our eternal design. Yet, there is no reason to continue accepting pre-pubescent behavior from an adult.
  
  I thank you again. It is refreshing in here to hear a friendly voice.
  reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
Hey Golden, got any more snake repellent?
reply report
61
Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years ago
Goldenpath is doing a remarkable job on this forum. It can be terribly frustrating having to deal with people who are not aware of the complimentary, albeit gruelling relationships between History, Science, and Religion.
reply report
1. 68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  That and people who think they know it all.
  reply report
2. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I agree, trying to pass off false history as reality is a toughie
  reply report
  61
  Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Mr. Godwin, are you not aware of all the recent discoveries on the North American continent, evidencing a great and intelligent people who seem to have vanished? This does not include Central or South American recent discoveries.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I am aware of none which remotely suggests anything Jewish in origin. Nothing to suggest the fables related by the priest have been discovered to my knowledge. But I am always open to factual discoveries, so enlighten me.
  reply report
  61
  Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I'll just relate what limited knowledge I have of them (North American discoveries of ancient great civilizations).
  1. A number of years ago a great stone wall/fortress has been discovered via aerial photography on Cape Breton Island. The stones have been known about by the locals but never on such a scale, which now has the scientific community buzzing.
  2. Large mounds of earth all over the mid-western United States, demonstrating a vast, organized culture.
  There are many others; others more and less recent, and others more and less significant. I now leave the research to you.
  reply report
  68
  goldenpathposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Hi, Tim, how's life up there?
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  My research into the archeological discoveries of the Americas is always continuing, Tim. If you took a look at some of my hubs you would already know this. I am aware of many sites being studied in both North and South America.
  
  But still, there has been nothing discovered, to my knowledge, which gives any credence to the priest's version of history on this continent. Anyone can claim anything, but those who denigrate others because they won't buy into their ludicrous beliefs do not deserve much respect.
  
  If anyone cares to go through the past posts by myself and GP. they will find the priest being the one who calls me names because I ask for explanations and proof of his claims. Find an instance where my statements are false about the Mormon cult or its history.
  
  The priest always resorts to cursing me with bad things in my future or calling me a slanderer without explaining what exactly I said that was slander.
  
  But as I said earlier, I am open for hearing about the discoveries which support GP's case. Anyone?
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Hey Randy, great hubs! I just read a few of them, and I look forward to reading more. You write wonderfully, and you've got a great gift for bringing a scene alive for the reader. Good stuff!
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Thanks, PB! I try my best to write what I know. Gotta work on my blind faith and tolerance though! LOL
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Flightkeeper will help I am sure.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I'm sure you're right, Hokey
  
  mynasty
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  That's all they've given you? An old stone wall debated by archeologists to be either chinese or norse in origin and remnants of the moundbuilders?
  
  Maybe you should do some research. If your LDS leaders are telling you this stuff is proof of their claims, you really should check it out.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Most likely Native Americans.
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  That too. I did read something somewhere sometime about some stone wall in america that was thought by some to be possibly druid. But that was a different stone wall I'm sure.
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Please provide your sources showing links or even remotely possible links with mormonism.
  reply report
  68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I don't suppose that great and intelligent people might not be, uhh, let me think, NATIVE AMERICANS
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Nah, couldn't be...
  reply report
  61
  Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Hi Pandoras Box. Just so you know, I did not promise to provide any links, but rather I suggested that Randy do his own research (which he says he does). The relation to Mormonism is this: when you understand that the Book of Mormon sprang from the Golden Plates (and I believe, Brass Plates somewhat as well), you will also discover that these records are hidden in the mountainside of Hill Cumorah, in upstate New York, AMERICA.
  I frankly don’t understand what is so hard to believe about the existence of ancient American civilizations, AND THEIR RECORDS. As far as I know, most Ocean Voyagers, Cultures, and Royal families KEEP records, even to this day.
  When one can believe that God spoke to his chosen few (whomever they may be), He demanded that honest records also be kept, not for His benefit, but for ours, and for our posterities’. Nothing is hard to believe about that. Trust me, even if you can find no sentence of truth in the Book of Mormon, it is a FASCINATING read - indeed, one that is hard to put down. It relates many compelling accounts of the aspirations, progressions, tribulations, and wars of an ancient people, all physically originated from the old world (i.e. overseas), hence the Jew factor. I cannot say from memory just how directly they were related, and I do not wish to argue with people.
  Whenever a new scientific archaeological discovery is made in the Americas (perhaps not including dinosaurs), it bespeaks to this very civilization, whose record is widely dismissed as fiction, but also has withstood scholarly scrutiny since being brought forward.
  Finally, I would like to remind people of the honest disclaimer at the front of the Book of Mormon where it says something along the lines of IF THERE ARE any mistakes in this book, let them be the mistakes of man and not God.
  Joseph Smith too, was only human. I personally have great respect for this man, and believe that he has accomplished a marvellous work and a wonder (see Isaiah) with the help and blessing of our Lord. I also realise that with great responsibility comes great temptation, and that Joseph Smith the man was not perfect.
  Pandoras Box, I hope this helps you and others gain a better understanding of some aspects of the Mormon faith, which is a Restored NOT Protestant gospel.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I believe you are sincere in your beliefs, Tim. However, this does nothing toward meaning you are correct in them. Some ancient beliefs required parents to sacrifice children to their gods. Is your faith as strong as those ancient people who believed so strongly as to give up their children. I seriously doubt you would do so.
  
  One could argue the god of the ancient people is more influential than yours because of the much stronger faith of its followers. Not trying to compare your rituals with theirs, just showing how having strong faith in something is not proof if its worthiness.
  
  I am truly sorry, but the Jews were not known for their sailing ships, especially one capable of carrying the lost tribe to America. The novel by Smith is not historical or prophetic. I'm sorry you cannot tell truth from fiction.
  reply report
  61
  Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Randy, I will accept your position as yours, but I too am sorry that you insist my beliefs are fiction.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I would be the first to back up your claims if there were any evidence, whatsoever, of yours or GP's historical accounts. As stated earlier, I will be more than happy to examine any evidence you can find which relates to your claims.
  
  Imagine if I claimed Mickey Mouse was really a god. Would you just say "well, Randy said Mickey is a god like mine, so okay?" Or would you doubt the veracity of my claim? Could you possibly take my claim seriously? I certainly hope not
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  You mean Mickey Mouse isn't a God? I was gonna convert! Darn
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Try Mickey's girlfriend's cult. Perhaps you've heard of the "virgin Minnie." Now the Catholics will probably be pissed at me too
  
  Say ten "Hail Minnies."
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Well it's generally accepted that when you make assertions in a forum you should be prepared to back them up. Especially when the assertions are so... eh.. unsupported by all known knowledge. Like, you know, real knowledge, facts and stuff.
  
  I don't mean to be offensive, but the only way I can interpret what you're saying is that when you decide to believe your first assertion, you then also decide to believe the second.
  
  I believe in the existence of ancient american civilizations, the evidence for such is more than plentiful. The ancient ones here left no written record however, and there is no record or other evidence showing any connection to jewish people or otherwise supporting any of the claims mormons make regarding ancient american civilizations.
  
  I respect your right to believe as you choose, but I disagree with you. If a god exists who created us all, then I believe it would have chosen us all, and exposed itself to us all. What is readily available for all of us to know, I believe in. What is hidden behind words such as "chosen few" I have to reject, not out of pride, but out of reasoning. What makes one prophet's revelations any more believable than the conflicting revelations of another prophet?
  
  Have it, read it, and agree it was fascinating, but not perhaps in the same manner in which you mean.
  No, it doesn't. I'm sorry you can't see that. I don't wish to argue with people either, honestly, that's why I ignore all dumb meaningless commentators. But what you're seeing is merely a religion trying to twist known evidence to make it fit their storylines. Every religion does it. Mormonism is no different. It hasn't "withstood scholarly scrutiny", it has merely flown enough under the radar to escape it most of the time. But at the same time, it has failed to come up with any evidence as it should have. There should be some evidence, some sign, or even just some suggestion of possible proof. But there is nothing. If there was, one of you would be able to lay it on the table, and then we wouldn't be here pointing out the complete lack of it.
  
  You have great respect for an image that was created through deception. It's unfortunate that so many good people flock to empty images of goodness out of a desire to do good and be right with the universe. I concede that religion can help some people feel comfortable in their own lives, but to society as a whole it is a detriment.
  
  I appreciate your attempt to answer my question, but the simple truth is, there is no arhaeological evidence whatsoever. You're just retelling the same untruths which have been told to you.
  reply report
  61
  Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Pandoras Box, when you say "You have great respect for an image that was created through deception", you say it as if you are correct. While I respect your opinion, I take exception to your putting forth such an exclusive absolute notion. Thanks anyhow for examining my activity in this forum.
  Let me end this night of mine on the internet by relating to the people who want to know more about the Mormons and their faith an COMMON word of wisdom.
  It is hard to teach one who does not accept that he has any need to be taught.
  reply report
  75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Oh that just reeks of manipulation...
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  There's proof that it was all a deception. Texts used by Smith have been translated by modern experts and found to be not what Smith claimed them to be. I say it as though it were correct because it is correct according to all known evidence.
  
  I never claimed to have no need of being taught. WHy do you attempt to insult me? However, I am careful about what teachings I believe in as truth.
  
  You, and everybody else, should be careful what you put your faith in as well.
  
  Goodnight.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Pandoras Box. You are clear, concise, respectful, polite, well-informed and utterly and completely right. Namaste
  reply report
3. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Timothy, I agree. goldenpath does well.
  Randy-
  Being a cult is your opinion. If you think a Christian is a cultist, well...
  Many of these posts are quite wordy, which isn't my style.
  A lot of questions about physical proof...to know if the Book of Mormon is true, you can find that it is scripture if you read it with an open heart and an open mind.
  reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
I hope this works.

reply report
1. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Phew, it smells like your breath! I guess I gave you a road apple after all!
  reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
Should've known it wouldn't work. You just seem to feed off it.
reply report
1. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Ah, now you're getting smart!
  reply report
68
goldenpathposted 15 years ago
Tim,
It's OK. Those who seek only physical evidence of things will continue to be blind. Thomas did the same thing and Jesus Christ corrected him. We can uncover the numerous altars, dwelling places and even ancient temples all over the Americas and it still would not prove sufficient for those who constantly seek "physical" evidence. It would only lead them to seek alternate explanations. Application of the precepts and testing is all that is needed.

Hope the weather is fine up there! It's been darn cold here.
reply report
1. 61
  Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Hey Goldenpath, we are in for another winter storm, this time from the East.
  By the way, I must say that I admire your courageous effort to answer the questions about Mormonism as they come along. In my opinion, you are doing a wonderful job. Your 20 years or so studying the faith is evident to me. Thank you for enlightening me on a few things I was not up on. All I can suggest my friend, is that when you get frustrated on this forum, just to bow out for a time.
  reply report
2. 68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I have a lot of respect for you, goldenpath, though obviously have a "different world view" from yours , but you always seem to have humour and decorum on these sites, and somehow avoid the slanging matches.
  
  I did want to dispute you on a point of logic, however. The story of Thomas is EXACTLY one of someone seeking PHYSICAL evidence, and Jesus GIVING it to him.
  
  Just sayin'. Either way, best to you.
  reply report
3. 59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I'd settle for just one. Got any?
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Don't ask for proof, PB! That's what they got angry with me about. What were we thinking?
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Intolerant persecutors working for the "Adversary".
  
  I need a scary devil smiley.
  reply report
4. 77
  skyfireposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  ancient temples exist means evidence of god ? in that way, CERN exist hence "angels & demons" is true story, same goes with "da vinci code". is this how it works ? your imagination says it's true hence it exist ?
  reply report
  61
  Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  skyfire, this is not how faith works, period. You may research that if you wish.
  reply report
  77
  skyfireposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Faith is just for personal security against unknown things, to have some support in odd time. This is how it works. If people claim that there are temples hence my faith is right, then any research we do is irrational for people with faith.
  reply report
61
Timothy Donnellyposted 15 years ago
Randy, I have read the whole forum and have found only you and few others (as compared to Goldenpath) who continually jump to the resort of contentious argument. Goldenpath has demonstrated a high degree of patience and goodwill trying to diplomatically bring his points of knowledge forward.
I do believe, however that we all must calm down, in order for intelligent people to see this forum as one which is not a burden to read. May I ask the people who do not know or support the LDS faith to back off a little. Any court of law or moderated assembly would never allow the abrasive few but persistent denigrators to throw their sputum into a forum where the people who actually study and practice this faith try to fulfill forum's objective. One must ask themselves: are forums provided as a place to argue and rant, or to expound and enlighten?
reply report
1. 68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Tim, you're obviously new to the forums. No this is not the place to expound and enlighten. This is the place where angry anti-theists gangup and pound believers in the hope of silencing them or hounding them out. If you stick around you'll see it soon enough.
  
  Even better, start a thread saying something religious, and you'll see the worms come from underneath making fun of you or attacking your or just being derisive as the snake there.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Yeah, right Flightkeeper. How dare anyone challenge the illogical, inane statements of some of the "believers" here. Sorry, us worms detest lies and fallacy, no matter the source.
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  You know snake it's okay if you don't believe in any of the religious stuff. I don't care and go ahead and challenge the stuff. But there's a difference between disagreeing and challenging and just being hateful. And you are hateful which means that there is no point discussing the points of difference because you're too emotional about it.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Yes, and you are a sweetie pie yourself. You guys dislike being challenged on untrue statements made by members of a cult. Wouldn't it be easier to just tell the truth about what they actually know instead of asking people to believe in a bunch of made-up history.
  
  It's quite simple, if you don't want to be challenged on ludicrous statements, then don't make them. No one is forcing any cult members to spread their nonsense here, that includes everyone, no matter the group.
  
  They know what they are in for and enjoy the martyrdom they think it gives them. Perhaps you are of the mindset of "let them spread nonsenses, what does it hurt" type. You are definitely priestess material, but not in the Mormon cult.
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Boy, you're just going to make yourself the victim aren't you? I just told you that you can challenge and you come back with we don't let you challenge. Religious people are allowed to have a voice here as much as anyone. And you pretty much confirmed for me that you're a hypocrite.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  i did not state that I was not allowed to challenge, just that it made some mad because they could not back up their claims when so challenged. There is a difference.
  
  I am sorry you feel I am being hateful, but you and GP seem to do all of the labeling (slander, hateful, worms,black hearted etc.)
  
  Fine folks!
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Aww, poor snake, he's still the eternal victim.
  
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Thankfully, not yours or GP's. But the children of Mormons definitely are!
  reply report
2. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  This is not the only thread where the priest and I have differed in our opinions, Tim. Please be so kind as to point out where GP attempted to expound on his "points of knowledge." I have witnessed nothing from him which gives any indication of his ability to expound on anything remotely related to historical knowledge.
  
  Some of his posts go on for pages, filled with the nonsense written by a known con man, Joseph Smith. It is akin to anointing P.T. Barnum as a prophet. And I'm still waiting for the links to the ancient Jewish archaeological sites you mentioned in your earlier post. Or are you no better at providing evidence of your claims than the priest?
  reply report
3. 59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Is "contentious argument" as defined by you and gp the simple practice of asking for verification of outlandish statements? Are "points of knowledge" as defined by you and gp really just unsupportable assertions? Are facts "a burden to read"? The forums are not exclusive. They are an open place for open discussion. Don't get upset when serious questions are raised. If we all just agreed to agree what would be the point?
  
  I do not consider the touting of ancient (or merely vintage) lies a proper way to "enlighten" anybody.
  reply report
4. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Timothy-
  I like your postings as well as goldenpaths.
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Ancient Jewish archaeological sites? Where? In North America?
reply report
1. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  You have obviously not been "enlightened," Hokey! Welcome to wormville!
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I Love W0rms!!!
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
The LDS 6 P's for perfection: prophets...presidency...patriarchs...priesthoods...payees...prozac.
reply report
1. 59
  tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  And n.7
  Punks
  reply report
68
AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years ago
They dress nice. And seem to be only of one gender.
reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Gordon Hinckley's definition of open discussion
"Don't ask, don't tell."
reply report
0
lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago
People shouldn't call people morons, it's not nice.
reply report
1. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  are you following me?
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  no. stalking.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Well that's more like it!!
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  reply report
2. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Where do you suppose Smith got the name for his angel from? It is a joke from the grave, and people are still falling for it!
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Randy I meant no disrespect, I apologize if I offended you. I should think before being a smart ass.
  reply report
  61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I knew you were joking, and seriously, I am not angry at anyone here. Even the cultists do not anger me. Perhaps I come off as angry and bitter, I assure you this is not the case at all.
  
  These people are in a very bad spot for any religious group to be in. They are faced with reality, the most harmful threat known to religious organizations. Imagine their children studying history in school and realizing their parents have absolutely no grasp of reality or truth concerning scientific truth.
  
  It is their children I pity. And their children's children, marching backwards into the superstitious past.
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  OK good, thanks.
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Persecuted by reality. No wonder they're so paranoid.
  reply report
0
lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago
reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. Mormons don't use light bulbs because; "darkness flee's the light."
reply report
60
tony0724posted 15 years ago
About all I know is that the woman who owns In N Out burger is a mormon and their burgers rock !!
reply report
1. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Now that's a good burger!
  reply report
0
StormRyderposted 15 years ago
What I see from the college football teams in Utah the mormons are crazy about the spread offence!
reply report
1. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Hmmmmmm.........
  reply report
  0
  StormRyderposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Not Hmmmmmm...really they are!
  BYU...pass happy...utah and utah state..both spread offences
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Believe nothing on the faith of traditions,
even though they have been held in honor
for many generations and in diverse places.
Do not believe a thing because many people speak of it.
Do not believe on the faith of the sages of the past.
Do not believe what you yourself have imagined,
persuading yourself that a God inspires you.
Believe nothing on the sole authority of your masters and priests.
After examination, believe what you yourself have tested
and found to be reasonable, and conform your conduct thereto.
reply report
1. 68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  What a bunch of buddhist crap. It's a lot of words that come down to nothing.
  reply report
  68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Yes critical thought... sheesh. Get a GRIP
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Deleted
  68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Or how about, simply, not accurate
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  
  Your so angry! What a shame. Just because you can't make others believe in your fairy tales.
  
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  What is it exactly that you object to?
  reply report
2. 59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Love it! What's it from?
  reply report
3. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Hokey-
  Believe what you want. You are not forced.
  reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
Hey hokey, how many lightbulbs do buddhists need? None, because they are enlightened.
reply report
1. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  YAY!!!!!!!!!!
  reply report
2. 0
  wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this
  
  reply report
3. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  This is very true.
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. Mormons don't use light bulbs because they can't see the light
reply report
1. 68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  eh, that doesn't work. I got one for you.
  
  Why do Buddhists meditate? Because they don't get enough sleep
  reply report
  68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Oh the insults are getting vicious now. You non-sleeping Buddhist-types, you...
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  That's just dumb. Mormon humor?
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Did you hear about the two missionaries who were building a new school? One noticed the other kept throwing away as many nails as he was using.

So he asked, "Hey man, why are you throwing away those nails?

The second replied with obvious frustration, "Aw, that stupid Christian at the Nail Factory sold us nails with the heads on the wrong end of them!"

"Don't throw them away," said the first, "We'll use them on the other side of the building."
reply report
0
lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago
Are these Buddhist remarks in genuine fun or are they attacking Hokey's faith? I can't tell.
reply report
1. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Who Cares? Not me!
  reply report
  68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Clearly a Buddhist
  reply report
  0
  SirDentposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  You meant budist, right?
  
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Now that's good!!!
  
  Don't drink though, but thanks for the offer!
  reply report
  68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Someone with wit to the rescue
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  She needs rescue!
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Deleted
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Don't report. No reason. I can take care of myself.
  reply report
2. 68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Don't you get it they're jokes lyrics.
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  thanks flightkeeper, it's just me, I wasn't sure, must need sleep
  reply report
3. 68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Lyrics, are you only concerned when hokey's faith is attacked or other hubber's faith as well?
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  You have no faith....
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Oh dear, was I getting to you? It's all a joke you know. And I'm not a mormon.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Sure your not!!!
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I guess you don't know any Buddhists!!
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Well I just told you I'm not a mormon and you insist I am, so you must not know any mormons either.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I'm gonna start my own religion. Flightkeeper worship!
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  why do you ask ?
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  you were okay reporting when hokey's faith was attacked did you report when other hubbers' faiths were attacked as well?
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  you don't know that.
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  that's why I'm asking, did you?
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  did I what report? you don't know me. no of course not it was a joke. We all are joking right?
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Yes, we are lyrics
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I'm curious in your interest as to why.
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
A primary president, a high councillor, and a bishop sat on the front row of a airplane flight that was hijacked. When the hijackers' demands were refused, they threatened to shoot some passengers, starting with the first row. The primary president asked for one last wish; to sing her favorite primary song. The hijacker said that would be fine, then asked the high councillor and bishop if they also had a last wish. The high councillor requested that after the song he be allowed to stand and give the talk he had prepared to give in sacrament meeting that next Sunday. The hijacker agreed, then turned to the bishop. The bishop motioned for the hijacker to come closer and whispered in his ear, "Please shoot me after the song."
reply report
1. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  I use that one...it's a good one
  reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
First guy: Did you see the Buddhist and an ass go by?
Second guy: No, I just saw two asses go by, but one ass was leading the other ass
First guy: That was them, the ass was keeping the Buddhist from achieving enlightenment and shirking from work.
reply report
1. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  The Ass must have been a mormon.
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  See, you're learning that buddhists can learn from a mormon.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  First, rely on the spirit and meaning of the teachings,
  not on the words;
  
  Second, rely on the teachings,
  not on the personality of the teacher;
  
  Third, rely on real wisdom,
  not superficial interpretation;
  
  And fourth, rely on the essence of your pure Wisdom Mind,
  not on judgmental perceptions.
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  A second load of buddhist crap.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  
  reply report
  68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Thank goodness you laughed, I thought I was the only one who thought they were dumb.
  reply report
  75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  very profound...
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Hey Mikel you doing ok?
  reply report
  75
  Mikel G Robertsposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Hi Hottie!! Yes I'm doing fine, having a bit of a wind storm here, the boat keeps ramming into the pier...
  reply report
  82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Hokey-
  Relying on things...I like that, especially the spirit part.
  reply report
2. 68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Reported for lack of humour
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
Yes that's why the buddhists say namaste all the time but they're still in the dark.
reply report
1. 68
  AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  That one too
  reply report
2. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Very weak!! Is that all you got?
  reply report
0
lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago
Now i get it

thanks sirdent
reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?

A: If it's Relief Society, it takes four.
One to fix refreshments,
One to bring the tablecloth,
One to design the centerpiece,
And one to screw in the light bulb.

If it's the Bishopric, forget it,
They don’t do light bulbs.
They call a Priesthood Executive Council
And delegate it to the Elders.

If it's the Elders, it takes four.
Three that don’t show up, and
One to change the bulb.

If it's the High Priests, it takes four.
Two to push the wheel chairs,
One to handle the oxygen tank,
And one to screw in the light bulb.

If it's the Home Teachers, it only takes two,
But you have to wait until the end of the month.
reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
Two buddhists walk by.
reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to say an opening prayer, one to give a talk on changing light bulbs, one to change the light bulb, and one to say a closing prayer.
reply report
1. 68
  Flightkeeperposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  What did the dumb buddhist say to the light bulb? Namaste.
  reply report
2. 82
  Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years agoin reply to this
  Hokey has some good dad "Mormon" jokes
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Ok. On a serious note. How long has mormonism been practiced?
reply report
0
lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago
reply report
68
Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago
Hokey, you're a puzzle. You come on these forums trying to come on as this enlightened type but from what I can see you're just as intolerant as a non-buddhist. You're a huge disappointment.
reply report
1. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I'm just kidding around. I don't do anything but post harmless jokes and you will notice that when people make fun of me I take it all in stride.
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  A sign of enlightenment. You're tops Hokey.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Thanks!! You are kind!!!
  reply report
2. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  I guess you could enlighten us all about being tolerant? Are you an example of tolerant behavior?
  reply report
  0
  lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  reply report
3. 60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  ...and I don't come on here trying to be anything but myself. I leave it up to others to make their own perceptions.
  
  Like my grandfather always said. If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
  
  Namaste
  reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
When people post things I don't say what a bunch of mormon crap!

Or Christian crap!

Or flightkeeper crap!!

Nope. I leave that to angry people.
reply report
0
lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago
will you post a bunch of Kimmy's :
reply report
60
Hokeyposted 15 years ago
Believe nothing on the faith of traditions,
even though they have been held in honor
for many generations and in diverse places.
Do not believe a thing because many people speak of it.
Do not believe on the faith of the sages of the past.
Do not believe what you yourself have imagined,
persuading yourself that a God inspires you.
Believe nothing on the sole authority of your masters and priests.
After examination, believe what you yourself have tested
and found to be reasonable, and conform your conduct thereto.

Buddha
reply report
1. 59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Buddha. Whoda thunkit. Wise guy, that buddha.
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  He was very wise. He said don't even believe what I tell you. Examine it and realize for yourself what is true.
  reply report
  59
  Pandoras Boxposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  That's respectable. I haven't looked at buddhism in a long time, and when i did it was more like just a cursory glance. I was worn out then from my foray into christianity. I should give it another look, see what's there for me.
  
  Generally speaking, I like to take what I can and leave the rest, you know?
  reply report
  60
  Hokeyposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Very wise
  reply report
0
Onusonusposted 15 years ago
Here's the los lunas decolague, it's a stone they found in Los Lunas, New Mexico. the writing is Pre-Columbian and has the word "YHWH" written on it four times in a form of Paleo-Hebrew language.
reply report
1. 61
  Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  Cool, got any pictures of a bigfoot wearing a Yarmulke? Got a link, AA?
  reply report

Post a Reply

jump to first post

Previous 1 23 4 5 … 6 Next

Necessary
HubPages Device ID	This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
Login	This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google Recaptcha	This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
Akismet	This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google Analytics	This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic Pixel	This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web Services	This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
Cloudflare	This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted Libraries	Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)

Features
Google Custom Search	This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google Maps	Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google Charts	This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host API	This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTube	Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Vimeo	Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Paypal	This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook Login	You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Maven	This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)

Marketing
Google AdSense	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClick	Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index Exchange	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Sovrn	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook Ads	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexus	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Openx	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon Project	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLift	This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say Media	We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing Pixels	We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking Pixels	We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.

Statistics
Author Google Analytics	This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
Comscore	ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking Pixel	Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
Clicksco	This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)

What do you know about Mormons?

Arts and Design

Autos

Books, Literature, and Writing

Business and Employment

Education and Science

Entertainment and Media

Family and Parenting

Fashion and Beauty

Food and Cooking

Games, Toys, and Hobbies

Gender and Relationships

Health

Holidays and Celebrations

Home and Garden

HubPages Tutorials and Community

Personal Finance

Pets and Animals

Politics and Social Issues

Religion and Philosophy

Sports and Recreation

Technology

Travel and Places

About Us

This website uses cookies

What do you know about Mormons?

Related Discussions

This website uses cookies