Hey, I tried to start this thing at work
All my colleagues thought I was a jerk
I came under attack
Cause they thought I was slack
But writing these still makes me smirk
This thread is like an addiction
A serious limerick affliction.
I saw it's back up,
I said "What the fu*k!"
Might as well be a limerickin'.
Yep, you pretty much hit it spot on
I thought all us jokers were gone
Now it's like a blind date
Seeing what we'll create
Let's see how much more we can spawn
When I saw this limerick thread
I avoided it with dread.
I imagined just lots of "Nantuckets",
so I thought I ought to duck it.
When I saw the title a third time,
I re-thought my thoughts about rhyme.
And found the thread delightful,
and not the least bit frightful.
So if you're sitting idle
and see a "limericks" thread,
You needn't run.
Limericks are fun.
And nothing at all to dread.
Here's a bit of a SPOILER ALERT!
Yesterday I was losing my shirt
My home-made car spoiler
Flew off my Corolla
I hope that nobody got hurt!
Blind dates are awkward at best,
long ago I gave those a rest.
But for you, I am in.
Us jokers akin,
Two poets put to the test.
So are you available for dating?
For the right chick I sure have been waiting
Had a girlfriend before
Turns out she's a 'hore
Our first date we could go roller skating!
Wondered what broke my windshield,
sent me spinning into that field.
I spied that Toyota,
as you gunned that motah,
Christ, you didn't even yield!
Panda Man was eating some bread,
Till he saw this limerick thread.
He posted,
And boasted.
What the hell happened to his head?
Panda Man, Panda Man,
Does whatever a panda can.
He's eating bamboo,
Practices voodoo,
And does whatever a panda can.
I'm a damn rollar derby queen,
Unlike anyone you've ever seen.
My wheels will be smoking,
you think I'm joking?
On skates I'm downright obscene.
Yeah sorry 'bout that windshield, my bad...
I'll pay for it, please don't be mad
It just happened so fast
As I drove my car passed
(Back in 15, dinner's ready said dad)
Panda Man drank some ammonium,
And he woke up in pandemonium.
He looked at his iPod,
and saw Pandagod,
So he thought he had been exposed to uranium.
Now usmanali81,
Was the only evil one.
He spammed,
And flamed,
Now Mr. Epic Fail is done.
Foul is fair and fair is foul,
None of you shall kill a fowl,
Go out and see
What you can be,
And stop staring at my bowels.
(Note: What am I writing???? I don't even know.... )
Panda Man is a demon,
He had a date with a seamen,
On his 666th post,
He had a limerick toast,
And he had a date with a seamen.
Squidward Sponge was very sad,
And it wasn't long before he got mad.
He walked aside,
And couldn't decide,
If he was a squid or a spongepad.
If I kissed a froggy so sweet,
Would a prince sweep me off my small feet.
Or would he think I'm a fly,
And flick his tongue in my eye,
And rubert himself up the street.
You made it out like he's amphibian!
Confusing a fly with a hot woman
I hope he's your knight
Who can also invite
Me along when you cruise the Carribean
Pamda, you're out of control,
a crazy limerick troll!
A rhymin' fool,
a posting ghoul,
on a veritable Panda roll.
I think I will group them together. I will delete this post later.
Panda Man was eating some bread,
Till he saw this limerick thread.
He posted,
And boasted.
What the hell happened to his head?
Panda Man, Panda Man,
Does whatever a panda can.
He's eating bamboo,
Practices voodoo,
And does whatever a panda can.
Panda Man drank some ammonium,
And he woke up in pandemonium.
He looked at his iPod,
and saw Pandagod,
So he thought he had been exposed to uranium.
Now usmanali81,
Was the only evil one.
He spammed,
And flamed,
Now Mr. Epic Fail is done.
Foul is fair and fair is foul,
None of you shall kill a fowl,
Go out and see
What you can be,
And stop staring at my bowels.
Panda Man is a demon,
He had a date with a seamen,
On his 666th post,
He had a limerick toast,
And he had a date with a seamen.
Squidward Sponge was very sad,
And it wasn't long before he got mad.
He walked aside,
And couldn't decide,
If he was a squid or a spongepad.
Lol, why don't we have a poll?
Have you ever been rick rolled
before in your life?
I have, and so does my wife.
Now why are you reading this troll?
Sorry I'm back late, excuse me please
You must have missed my expertise
But I thought I should tell ya
What I had was Nutella
On toast, with a topping of cheese
Nutella's the ultimate spread,
just love it on whole wheat bread.
Never thought of the cheese,
Hell, that's a breeze.
May have to sneak some in bed.
Marcofratelli the hubber,
Are you made out of rubber?
For if you are,
Then you can extend far,
And you would be just like blubber.
Don't you know that I'm made out of plastic?
All the women think I'm just fantastic
To them I'm a pleasure
When it comes to their leisure
Couldn't do that if I were elastic
Blubber is a good thing you know? Why isn't anyone answering normally? @@
Marco, your made up of plastic?
I imagine that could be quite drastic!
If you get near the fire
of BlondePoet's desire
You could melt like a tube full of Mastik
Hey you're back, now let's talk of this lust!
I always seem to just notice her bust
It's a little bit rude
But hey, I'm just a dude
Bring it on I say, let me combust!
Don't put your legs round your chin.
Or you'll end up a giant Dim-sim.
They will fry you in fat,
Oh my, fancy that,
And sauce you with tasty Hoi-sin.
His name doesn't have the word "fart",
Pamda, learn to spell, you old tart.
I'll end it here,
while still sincere,
limericking is certainly an art.
Lol. I thought it didn't make sense either. Lol. My apologies here.
Thanks for defending my name on this forum
Pamda had it coming, as soon as I saw him:
Kick your butt to China
Where no one will fin' ya
Don't be mean, maintain the decorum!!
Can we wear our bonnets
and write some sonnets
instead of writing
and reading
limericks on the Internet?
You ask why no one answers normally
I thought I should point out here formally...
It's a limerick thread!
Did you hear what I said?
And to that I welcome you warmly
This wins limerick of the eve,
so funny it's hard to believe,
laughing my a*s off,
turned into a cough,
and ended with a little heave.
All fun until someone does a wee
When laughing so hard in jubilee
It would ruin the mattress
Not to mention embarrass
But it's funny, I have to agree!
The wee did just happen to me,
a trickle turned into a pee.
Hitting only the undies,
worn mostly on Sundays,
but travelled to the top of my knee.
Haha, I didn't mean for you to piss!
Or lose control of that main valve like this!
But now I know the reaction
I might take the same action
Tomorrow, so you'll reminisce
Wordscribe, I still call you a winner
I make it out like I'm just a sinner
But I'd love an affair
With you in my lair
That is, after I take you to dinner
Well I'm just saying that blubber isn't a negative word there. Ok?
Maybe I shouldn't post here. I don't think I'm good with limericks...
Blimey! I got out of step
I had hoped that in order you'd get
my little limerick
tuned to the gist of it
now it's a bit of a wreck!
You two are simply too much
thank dog it's online. we don't touch
You have made me blush red
to the top of my head
with your little intimate flush
I go out for an afternoon beer
and come back to discover what here?
My thread resurrected!
I hadn't expected
to see it resurface this year
It always looked like a real winner
I'm glad that you didn't have dinner
cos by time you got back
There'd be birds in the sack
Of Marco, the ultimate sinner!
Dude, I thought that we'd both agreed
You wouldn't listen while I'm spreading my seed!
Thought I heard a rustle
While flexing my muscle
If you'll excuse me, I need to proceed...
I think my reputation precedes me
I'm not really exceedingly seedy
I make out like I am
Cause I ain't got a ma'am
Sometimes I feel unloved and lonely...
Woo hoo my good deed for the day
Has brought back this thread, hurray!
Did you think this had sunk
To the bottom like junk
Badhubbit’s got it back into the fray!
great humours on this post
hard to say which one i like most
thought of trying first one here
posted a joke in another forum there
did not get people who like jokes
i am waiting and waiting, where are you folks?
jokes are posted in entertainment section
follow hubbers there and show some action
Hubchief,
your humor does need to improve
to be in the limerick move
you need it to rhyme
at least most of the time
the ending, the punchline
must groove!
I went to your jokes just before
and frankly it needs a bit more
when you're telling a joke
try not to choke
Or you'll make all the readers get sore!
earnestshub,
thanks for advice
i later on realize
hubpages are for those
who never had rose,
this was my first try
i am glad, at least one cried
if I get support, from people like you
I would be a writer, a dream come true
Keep trying hubchief
that's the bet
you know you'll become better yet
if you learn how to rhyme
it's a matter of time
before all your humor is set.
Oh, Earnest,you rhyming fool,
You're breaking a limerick rule.
5 lines you must create,
Not 6, no debate,
Shall I send you to limerick school?
It's five lines, I put it on six
I can write them on five for a fix
if you read it right through
you'll see five lines will do
I justs screwed up a line for the kicks!
I just can't leave without a reply
(It's the humor that rhyme did supply)
We all have to accept
That the rules must be kept
Teach the new, punish those who defy!
A slap on the butt I gave him,
breaking the rules makes me grim.
I respect Earnest, too
my limerickin' boo,
but, I wanted to break his limb.
Yes, I think earnestshub learnt his lesson
That his limb's still intact is a blessin'
He'll need it to scribble
All that rhyming dribble
Oh, your undies' with me (I'm confessin')
Marco, don't leave, you freak,
Your limericks, to me, they speak!
I need a good laugh,
or at least a hot bath,
hopefully you're just taking a leek.
While limericks may be cheesy,
writing them's pretty easy.
Just think of the rhythm
and words to go with 'em;
and the process is fairly breezy.
wordscribe I got the idea now
this one would tell, how
earnestshub gave the advice
ignoring I was not wise,
off to bed, c u 2morrow, chao!
paraglider me lad, where are you
your next limericks overdue
will you write us a new one
exciting and then some
to give us a differing view
I remember when Yahoo was hot
Snazzy colors an chat , it had the lot
The along came Goggle and they hung on tight
Swinging like a boxer, them big boys had
One helluva fright
No doubt in a while ,when the fuss had died now
A new dog will arise, pumped up to the hilt
His name will be GROWL, and definatley Asian built
There was a young blonde from 'youknow it'
Her avatar said Blonde Poet
And behind that hot pic
Ticked a brain so quick
Guys come prepared
And dont act like big...twits
Oh EK you're really so nice,
Do you fancy pork chops with brown rice.
You're really so spunky,
So chic and so funky,
I can't help but dance with you twice.
There once was a girl with gold hair,
An innocent girl wrapped in prayer;
But she looked kind of hot
In her avitar slot
And now has turned somewhat vulgar
=P
BP is open not crude,
Sometimes a trifle bit rude,
But it's all meant for fun,
Never to hurt anyone,
Much better than being a prude.
Pshaw! Pshaw! Gee, this really makes me vow!
Limericious words are such a wow!
My heart is tickle with reed
Thanks for sharing without greed-
From a novice who bleeds to know how
(...just wanna try and learn )
A limerick is rhyming verse
some find it a bit of a curse
to write in five lines
something that rhymes
with a punchline that isn't too terse.
If only I could rhyme all day as my business...
I'd think by now it would help make me a success...
Then I would sit around all day...
Rhymin' stuff the Manly Poetry Man way...
And be making a whole lot more money...I guess!
Howdy Earnest!
Hello manlypoetryman
I'm doin the best that I can
to keep this gig funny
without any money
and only one guy as a fan!
Earnest first told me of an Aussie named Banjo
The one that wrote about "a man on a river of snow"
I did not know that...
and so I tip my hat...
To a famous Poetry Man like that...Who would know?
limerick writing is very much fun
i want to write everyday one
ideas are there
burning everywhere
just pick one out on the run
--
i did not get on first go
took time as i was slow
Earnest commented
Lisa described
and here i am with two in a row
--
Your limericks have certainly impressed
I'm not sure which is best.
I had to jump in,
To join my hub kin
Tho' thank God there isn't a test.
Athena, I'm pleased that you came
your quite good at playing this game
I'm glad you popped up
I will now raise my cup
and hope we get more of the same!
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