Limericks - Limericks - Limericks

1. 60

   Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

   There once was a man from Nantucket...
   
   I forget the rest

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2. 62

   Drew Breezzyposted 14 years ago

   I wish I could rhyme limericks
   It would be cool for kicks
   write some lines
   In due time
   use words to get chicks

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3. 60

   Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

   A VIRUS INFECTED A FORUM
   IT WAS CHIDED FOR LACK OF DECORUM
   IT'S POSTINGS WERE ODD
   MINDLESS RANTINGS FROM GOD?
   IN THE END WE SIMPLY INGNORED IM

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   1. 62

      Drew Breezzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      everyone is so good at this
      
      I feel like a noob

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      1. 72

         HubChiefposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         dear drew breezzy
         do not be squeezy
         let flow free
         liek a shopping spree
         you'd find you limerick busy
         
         
         
         

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4. 62

   Drew Breezzyposted 14 years ago

   hello to all how are you
   I write poems I am Drew
   kick some rhymes
   most the time
   With this limerick im through

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5. 0

   wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

   That's why I'm here Ron Montgom,
   I'm tired of speaking of God's son.
   Stick with us here,
   away from that fear,
   you're safe from those boring doldrums.

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6. 60

   Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

   Thank you wordscribe 41
   It's like hearing Atilla the Hun
   It rants and it raves
   About someone who saves
   With that particular nut I am done

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   1. 0

      wordscribe41posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Atilla the Hun, what a pun!
      Then again, I'm far from a nun.
      Earnest joins in that banter,
      gets fed up with the ranter,
      and returns here to have some fun.

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      1. 79

         earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         And loving the break from the zealot
         for whichever way that you sell it
         the guy is a tool
         the ultimate fool
         and should be whacked on the skull with a mallet

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7. 0

   wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

   This thread should've been in the sandpit,
   whoda thunk we'd come up with this *hit?
   We have new participants,
   it's getting intense.
   although some have done a limerick flit.

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8. 60

   Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

   I'd rather drink beers with colebabie
   even if all I got was a maybe
   I'd muddle my head
   then crash into bed
   in my dreams I could still shout OHBABY

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9. 67

   Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

   There's more than one way to skin a cat; it's true
   We are playing with words; it's very simple to do
   It's not so hard to make the world brighter
   That's what you're meant to do, if you're a writer
   And from your words; the world will honor you.

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   1. 79

      earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Pearldiver you've joined us in rhyme
      we've been waiting for you all this time
      now lets have some fun
      let the limericks run
      and do it while were in our prime

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      1. 0

         wordscribe41posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         How old is "in your prime?"
         I've wondered from time to time.
         I'm a spry little lass,
         still hoping to pass
         as a girl still superbly sublime.

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         1. 67

            Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I'm Not Telling

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10. 60

    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    such fine company I'll miss
    but am summoned to bliss
    my angel's in bed
    promising head
    a serpent's awaiting a kiss

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    1. 0

       wordscribe41posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       See!  It's not just me who goes there,
       talks about bed and being bare.
       Ron's kinda dingy,
       my words are stingy
       'bout sexual talk I won't dare!

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    2. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Lucky you have such a night
       So I guess you'll be feelin alright!
       I'm as jealous as hell
       that she's ringin your bell
       and your angel is there infinite.

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11. 79

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    I seem to be here all alone
    I think I will learn how to clone
    if there were two of me
    I'd continue you see
    and limerick to which I am prone

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12. 0

    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    Hey, Earnest, you lonely old goat
    I'm posting this limerick by rote
    I was heading out
    Till you gave a shout
    And punctured a hole in my boat

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks mate! I need the support
       so my limericks don't list to port
       I'd come on your boat
       but my toenails don't float
       so I'd sink in an instance I thought

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13. 0

    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    Aha!  Now your rhymes are a hoot
    Like a hole in my old mucker boot
    So all I can say
    This time of the day
    Is load up your rhyme-gun and shoot

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14. 0

    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    Now I've got to rhyme and then run
    My timing is under the gun
    Not thinking too deep
    But do need some sleep
    'Fore facing the uprising sun

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       have a great night and sleep ghostly one
       till we get a full cycle, then sun
       You'll be up with the tweeter
       and feel so much sweeter
       you rascally son of a gun!

       replyreport
15. 78

    marcofratelliposted 14 years ago

    Well you know them twitterers I spoke about
    I just gave another one of them a shout
    She is like no other
    Her names @LimerickLover
    I hope she'll come here now & check us out

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    1. 0

       wordscribe41posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Waitin' for @LimerickLover,
       sounds like a heck of a mother.
       We need some new flesh,
       a rhymer afresh,
       where is she, Marco, my brother?

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16. 78

    marcofratelliposted 14 years ago

    I feel like this writing has taken
    My life over, if I'm not mistaken
    I have to get out 'here
    Have I been here all year?
    It's the sanity in me I've foresaken
    
    It's fun, I'm just saying I'm tired
    If I did it at work, I'd be fired
    I just need me a break
    Might go down to the lake
    & come back to write something inspired

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I understand Marco me mate
       and noticed that it's getting late
       I may take a break too
       though I'm copying you
       I feel that it's part of my fate!

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17. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    Just wrote half a hub,
    was jonesing for the limerick club.
    Hub's not half bad,
    perhaps a bit rad.
    but I'd rather be here with my cherubs.  (so could not get a rhyme here)

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You did more than I did today
       all I achieved was to play
       around with some words
       and flatten some turds
       in the forums I'm happy to say!

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       1. 0

          wordscribe41posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I dealt with turds in my way,
          'round my house I'm sad to say.
          My dog's excrement,
          I very much lament,
          has been dropping round here all day.

          replyreport
18. 79

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    the zealot has gone all empathic
    His writing is still so emphatic
    tho he toned down his style
    by a good country mile
    he's hated by all of the traffic!

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    1. 0

       wordscribe41posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I know not of whom you speak,
       no matter, to me they're all bleak.
       It's toned down for now,
       'til he brings in those "thous"
       and I'm not sayin' it tongue in cheek.

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19. 79

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    This loony is new to the forum
    he's certainly lacking decorum!
    runs around all the thread
    His small god in his head
    trying to get up a quorum.
    
    he called everyone nasty words
    his brain is away with the birds
    he scream it in bold
    and just won't be told
    his beliefs are simply absurd

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20. 79

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    enough about him he's a dag
    his rantings are really quite mad
    I would rather be here
    with you my dear
    having fun with our limerick fad

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    1. 89

       Paragliderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       If you're talking about who I think,
       the guy is a regular fink
       who thinks that his god
       is a club or a rod
       to belabour you with. What a stink!

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21. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    Screaming in bold I despise,
    hope it leads to his demise.
    A new zealot, yay!
    You'll keep him at bay.
    Sorry you're dealing with lies.

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       
       I enjoy it like taking out trash
       and I do need to give him a bash
       he is spreading lies
       which will see his demise
       these guys are easy to trash!
       
       geez I swiped your"demise" straight out of your limerick, that's the problem with the sub-conscious, it steals stuff without me knowing It!

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22. 79

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    OK I am settled again
    it's time to turn on the brain
    I will hook up to one
    cos mine is no fun
    it got broke by religion again!

    replyreport
23. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    We're both at a 94,
    a perfectly acceptable score.
    Nothing earth shattering,
    wouldn't make me sing,
    in the shower behind a closed door.

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24. 79

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    We are pigeon pairs are we not?
    Maybe it's an evil plot
    I once got 99
    the feelin was fine
    but I lost it, it all went to pot

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25. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    This thread counts at five twenty four,
    not like THAT was really a chore.
    It's a nice safe retreat,
    when you can't take the heat
    of fundamentalists uneducated gore.

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Yes heaps of fun to be had here
       without everything going queer
       we can prattle away
       for the rest of the day
       without gods or even a seer

       replyreport
26. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    I'm worried I might be in trouble,
    a twin says she has a stomach bubble,
    always gets worse,
    'til there's a hideous burst,
    and I'm left cleaning up all that rubble.

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Poor little darling! I hope she is OK. I know she will be ok with a mom who is so good at limericks! Seriously.. is she ok?

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       1. 0

          wordscribe41posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Hope so, Earnest.  Poor girl.  I just said yesterday how we haven't been sick all summer.  Not my favorite part of parenting, but she's still adorable no matter what!

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27. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    If I leave here I'm not saing f*ck it,
    just running like Hell for a bucket.
    It can get quite hairy,
    positively scary,
    I'm hoping I'll be able to duck it.

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28. 79

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    Yes of course she is! Like her mom. How old is she?

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29. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    7, cute as a button.  Sick, but ALWAYS optimistic, glass half-full kinda girl.  You're so sweet, Earnest.  Truly.

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       When you can, hug that child for me!
       I adore about 99% of kids! When they have smart parents, they blow my mind.I get the glass half full bit with one half, the other twin is a dead set cynic since she started frisking me for sweets when she was two. the other one loves to get reactions. At 3.. "We don't need a grandpa anymore, we are big girls, you can go home now!" How could anyone not love that? I had to go and hide until I could hold a straight face!

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30. 0

    L. Andrew Marrposted 14 years ago

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Most poems rhyme
    But this one doesn't.

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31. 62

    Drew Breezzyposted 14 years ago

    roses are red
    as blood in the head
    live and learn
    work and earn
    til you end up dead

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32. 88

    RedElfposted 14 years ago

    Paraglider, you started this thread;
    Well-intended, but look where it's led!
    We are dodging our chores,
    Munching words like they're smores,
    To our keyboards, we are thether-ed
    
    So addictive, these limericks, my head's
    Full to bursting - and more rhymes unread!
    But we've not seen your smile
    In much too long a while,
    We need you back, Buddy, 'nuff said;

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33. 89

    Paragliderposted 14 years ago

    RedElf - you're a star in the sky!
    I've been reading, not writing, 'cause I
    am on holiday here
    drinking 'ladies' and beer
    but tomorrow I fly from Dubai!
    
    But my time has not wholly been wasted
    For example, today I invested
    in a note-pad PC
    from the stable 'HP'
    It was cheap and as sweet as I've tasted!

    replyreport
34. 79

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    Ron I'm guilty of feeding him too
    but I do have some good news for you
    I have said we should quit
    feeding this twit
    on his forums to shut down the goo

    replyreport
35. 60

    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    You keep feeding that slug
    It continues to bug
    It's not worth your time
    It can't reason or rhyme
    It has a poison koolaid filled jug

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36. 60

    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    You said that last night
    But you took one last bite
    You are helping it live
    With each reply you give
    It's preaching such wrong as if right

    replyreport
    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       It is hard to just not reply
       when the writer has pooped in the eye
       of all other writers
       we're lovers not fighters
       who come here to learn not deny.
       
       I will halt as suggested by you
       it's the one thing to do this is true
       when we feed this fanatic
       we get too much static
       and it burns forum space for the crew.

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       1. 86

          Bibowenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          From the Shrub the order is given
          “From the truth we all should be ridden”
          With the click of his keys
          Drones fall to their knees
          And crawled from the thread as they’re bidden

          replyreport
37. 81

    RooBeeposted 14 years ago

    That guy is a loony indeed
    so I tried not to pay any heed
    but I finally broke
    and answered the bloke
    'cause I think he just smoked too much weed

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38. 60

    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    Don't give it such strokes
    It's skunk weed it smokes
    let it shrivel and fade
    lying in t'bed it made
    Save the bandwith for intelligent blokes

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39. 73

    Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

    Hes nuts
    Hes crazy
    Even his cat looks lazy
    To begin he seemed radical
    Over the top, geographical
    
    Now I know for sure
    I saw the sign on the door
    Clinic hours are non-transferable
    Next time I meet him or his emos
    Im calling Doctor Tarantino

    replyreport
    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       EaglrKiwi I'm so glad you saw
       he's as mad as a hay bale for sure
       if he's sent back in time
       he could live in the slime
       of what he has made of still raw

       replyreport
40. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    This thread nearly went to page two,
    that, for me, simply will not do.
    No limerics for three hours,
    where are the rhyming powers?
    I guess you've all said "adieu!"

    replyreport
41. 80

    jiberishposted 14 years ago

    I am trully not good at this but here goes:
    There was a little girl who had a little curl
    right in the middle of her forehead.
    And, when she was good, she was very, very good,
    but when she was bad, she was horrid.
    
    She started writing Hubs for a little extra cash,
    now all she does all day is sit on her little ass.

    replyreport
42. 81

    RooBeeposted 14 years ago

    Okay, since I already submitted my own and considering there are over 500 posts now, I'm venturing outside of your rules Paraglider.
    I have to share this one that I remember from childhood, not sure who wrote it:
    There once was a man from Nantuckett..haha, just kidding.
    
    Here goes:
    
    There once was a girl from Purdue
    who found an elephant's wang in her stew
    said the waiter, "don't shout
    or wave it about,
    or the others will all want one too!"
    
       A classic.

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    1. 62

       Drew Breezzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       haha

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       1. 60

          Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          My wife went to Purdue.  She never ate stew. (or Stu)

          replyreport
43. 62

    Drew Breezzyposted 14 years ago

    there  once was a man with no feet
    all day all he did we just eat
    soup and chips
    with cheesy dip
    vegetarian he ate no meat

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44. 73

    Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

    Just finished watching Big Brother
    Housemates are in a bother
    but some are having fun
    and two are getting it on
    under the Duvet Cover

    replyreport
45. 80

    manlypoetrymanposted 14 years ago

    There once was a man who liked junk food...
    His Doctor told him  to stop...which was rude...
    He then ate a variety of healthy debris,
    Till one day...He poo-poo'd out a tree,
    Now he is a whistle-clean, healthy eating dude.

    replyreport
    1. 62

       Drew Breezzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       there was once an elephant with no tusk
       so he couldn't sleep at dusk
       the other elephants jeered
       kicked him in the rear
       that made him cry and he cuss

       replyreport
46. 62

    Drew Breezzyposted 14 years ago

    I ate some pie
    it was good no lie
    tasty and yummy
    deep down in my tummy
    so good I couldn't deny

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47. 86

    Bibowenposted 14 years ago

    “To lim’rick, to lim’rick” said the man”
    From my hubs I darted and ran
    So my lim’rick I wrote
    With such pride and such gloat
    But with lim’ricks you can't pay off the van

    replyreport
48. 0

    wordscribe41posted 14 years ago

    I woke from a nice peaceful nap,
    thought I'd check HP and other crap.
    My score is 100
    waking from the dead,
    Please, my slap someone slap!

    replyreport
    1. 80

       manlypoetrymanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Congratz on your great score...
       Hope you see that same score some more...
       Your avatar shows a good smile,
       Makes reading your limericks worthwhile,
       Especially ones where I Rolled laughing on the floor.

       replyreport
49. 86

    Bibowenposted 14 years ago

    Imagine my surprise! Yea, my start
    at the reign of the emoticon art
    With words they can’t say
    so with pictures they play
    those smilies that reign at Walmart.

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50. 62

    Drew Breezzyposted 14 years ago

    i work hard for money
    til my face looks funny
    old and gray
    with nothing to say
    til my life not sunny

    replyreport